WOMEN, Fall 99


QUESTION #1. Think about the previous interactions you  have  had
with the opposite sex. Has a situation ever occurred with someone
of  opposite  sex  that  you   found   deeply   puzzling   and/or
incomprehensible?  And which you also think is somehow a function
of  that  person's  gender  (not  just  the  specific  individual
involved)?   If so, think about what happened, and the behaviors,
cognitions, motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you
found particularly puzzling.



#1. One issue that has puzzled me about the opposite sex  is  the
fact  that  they  (men)  are  able to completely separate sex and
emotion so easily. Through various conversations with men on  the
topic  I  have  always  been aware of the fact that they can very
much view sex for what it is and nothing else.  primal,  physical
sex,  and  not  be  effected  by or may not even attach to it any
emotion. I feel that although there are certainly women  who  are
able to do the very same thing and are able to operate similarly,
men seem to be able to separate emotion and sex much easier.

#1. When I think of a situation that occurred with someone of the
opposite sex, that I found deeply puzzling I think of an instance
when that person  thought  that  there  was  nothing  wrong  with
something  that he had done, yet when I asked him what he'd think
or feel if I had done the same thing, he said that he'd  be  very
upset. When I asked him why he thought that I shouldn't be upset,
while he admitted that he would be upset  if  the  situation  had
been  reversed, he couldn't think of an answer. What I found must
puzzling, was that something that we had the same view about  was
okay for him to do, but not okay for me.

#1. My Previous interaction with the opposite sex which  I  found
quite  puzzling was with my boyfriend. It was in the midst of our
relationship and at a point where  situations  became  a  double-
standard.  Going  out  with  his  friends  was  totally  okay, no
questions asked but when it came to me going out with my friends,
there  were  questions  waiting to be answered. No matter what mv
glans were with my friends, nothing was ever ok or appropriate to
be  doing.  I  think  it's  a  part of my boyfriend being jelous,
however, I also think it's a gender trait  to  be  overprotective
over a woman.

#1. I had a very puzzling experience with a particular person  of
the opposite sex that to this day I still cannot understand. Last
year we were dating and everything was fine. I really started  to
like  him  a  lot  and  we started hanging out everyday. All of a
sudden he starts acting weird around me and doesn't  call  me  as
much  and  starts  ignoring  me. I finally confronted him one day
with a letter, but the  response  I  got  back  was  not  what  I
expected.  He  wrote  in  the  letter  that  he  did  not  want a
relationship and all this other bu11#$%!. All  of  this  occurred
around  finals  week. The last day of school finally rolls around
and he actually visits me and gets my home number to call me over
the  summer.  So  I'm thinking maybe he still wants to be friends
and just hang out. The whole summer he never called me. I saw him
the first day of this school year and I didn't know how to react,
but I at least said hi. He then has the nerve to  ask  my  friend
why I am not talking to him. I don't understand how he expects me
act the same way around him after he blew me off  for  the  whole
summer.  And  I also don't understand why he all of a sudden does
not want to have any type of relationship with me when everything
was going fine. He was the one that initiated the whole thing.

#1. I have a good male friend that confuses  me  constantly.   He
can  not  hold  on  to  a  job.   He  gets jobs easily enough but
immediately quits me, usually  within  a  month.   I  think  that
reasoning  behind  this is something that in general males suffer
from but in different degrees.  He does not want  to  be  at  the
bottom.   He does not want people telling him what to do and when
to do it.  Whenever he quits his job he always blames it  on  his
supervisor.   He  didn't like me or he picked on me.  He actually
gets emotional, sometimes mad  about  the  way  he  felt  he  was
treated.   Men  have a hard time taking orders from anyone.  They
usually want to in control of their own actions and when they are
not they feel like less of a man.

#1  I have  found  a  number  of  items  dealing  with  a  male's
character  incomprehensible.   For  example,  if ever a female is
under distress and looks to her  male  friend  or  boyfriend  for
advice  or  comfort,  sometimes this male has no idea how to deal
with the upset woman.  It  seems  that  the  male  is  altogether
confused about what to do with the woman's feelings, and the only
way to react to the individual is to stare at her in uncertainty.
The  above  instance  exemplifies that sometimes, men do not know
how to deal with the emotions of women.  I am  sure  in  reality,
they  feel  absolutely powerless.  I feel men are afraid of their
own soft side, and do not want to get to involved in a  situation
where  emotions  overflow.  To me, it is our own animal nature to
feel concerned about another person in adversity,  however,  some
men are just afraid of it. Could men be inhuman?

#1.  Most things that men do, feel, or say are not puzzling to me
because  I  can  usually  identify with them by putting myself in
their situations.  Although one situation has  caused  confusion.
While  a  boyfriend  of  mine  and  I  were fighting over jealous
stupidity, I felt as though I had  done  something  wrong.   Even
though  I  hadn't,  I cried to him pleading for him to talk to me
about why he was mad and how I could  make  him  understand  that
there  was  nothing  for  him  to worry about.  He told me he was
tired and that nothing was wrong and left  me  to  cry  wondering
what  I  had  done  wrong.The  next morning I was still extremely
upset and he told me what was wrong the night before and that  he
acted  stupid.   What  I  don't  understand,  however  was why he
couldn't say that  in  the  first  place.   This  may  be  female
analyzing, yet when a person is hurting for any reason the person
who loves him will  hurt  twice  as  badly  until  the  issue  is
resolved.  Therefore the question many women and I have is why do
men have to hide their emotions while the woman suffers wondering
what  she  has  done wrong,(when in fact, in this situation I had
done nothing but act like a fool while my boyfriend  had  a  good
nights rest).

#1. I have had puzzling situations with both males  and  females.
I  don't  think  gender  dictates behavior.  On the other hand, I
think behavior is more  dependent  on  the  environment  and  the
person's  genetic  makeup.  I have had experiences with people in
general that I find to be very puzzling.  Why,  does  one  person
find something humorous, but someone else is not amused by it.  I
am more  intrigued  by  human  nature  in  general,  rather  than
limiting it to gender specific circumstances.

#1. When I first read this question I immediately thought of  the
way  guys  react  and act towards a girl they have previously had
some sort of intimate connection with.  I really don't understand
why  guys seem to have a really great time with a girl; they seem
to have fun, like they really enjoy her company. Then  they  both
give  into  their sexual desires.  In a girls mind this is a good
thing, it's like getting two for the price of one, a guy whom she
enjoys  hanging  out  with  and also someone whom she is sexually
compatible with. But it seems the situation is  reversed  in  the
guy's  mind.   He  acts like they had nothing in common with each
other, and even sometimes  that  he  has  never  met  her.  These
actions have been reoccurring in many of my friends' lives and my
own.  The case is usually the same; the guy shows some  interest,
the  girl  responds to it, and one thing leads to another. Either
after or before the deed is done, (it varies with each situation)
the  guy  will  make promises, he truly never intends on keeping,
filling the girl's head with lies and fantasies.   The  next  day
the  girl is on cloud nine and the guy is bragging to his friends
about the night before.  What I don't understand is why go to the
lengths,  of  seeming  to  be  this nice, wonderful guy, and then
ignore the girl the next day.  I don't know if  it's  part  of  a
guy's  ego  or  pride  or  whatever  he is trying to prove to his
friends, which makes him feel inclined to break girls hearts, but
I'd like to know.

#1. When I was with a guy the other day at  his  house,  we  were
getting  along  very  well  and  having  a  great  time until his
roommates (who were all male) came  home.  He  immediately  began
acting like he didn't care about me or didn't even want to really
be hanging out. I think that when guys are around other guys they
feel  that  they  have  something to prove to their male friends.
They always need to feel cool enough and prideful  so  that  they
remain  secure  with  themselves.   Even  if  it  means betraying
another friend, (girl or  guy)  they  are  always  out  to  prove
something  to  their  friends  so that they remain "respected" by
"the guys."

#1. I find it puzzling that a guy will like a girl but act as  if
he is not interested.  Some will even go as far as picking on the
girl or causing her to become  upset,  just  trying  to  get  the
girl's  attention  (even though it is bad attention).  I think it
has to do with a guy's inability to deal with their emotions.

#1. I was involved with an extremely complex male last year.   We
began  "hooking  up"  at Sunset Concert.  It was alcohol induced.
After wards we never really hung out with each other even  though
we  had  mutual  friends.  But when we did end up hanging out, we
would always end up hooking up.  This happened once a month until
Christmas  vacation.   But  what  was particularly perplexing was
that he would tell our mutual friends that he just wanted  to  be
friends  and  that  he  wasn't  looking for a relationship but he
would always initiate anything that happened between  us.   After
every  hook  up I never heard from him and he would purposely not
pay too much attention to me as if he was trying to get the  hint
across  that  he  didn't  want  anything  serious.   What I found
puzzling was that even though I never called him, hounded him, or
initiated  anything  he thought that I wanted a relationship with
him.  Which ultimately I did not want because  it  was  my  first
time  being  single  in two years.  I also thought it was strange
that he could call my best-friends and invite  them  to  a  party
knowing  they would invite me simply so he didn't have to call me
directly.  I think his  reactions  were  related  to  his  gender
because males cannot communicate well.  I know I was to blame for
the lack of communication as well which was due to my shyness.  I
think the situation could have been alleviated had he told me and
not my friends that he didn't want anything seriously.

#1. My opinion about this question is how guys can be  flakey.  I
had  a  boyfriend  once who was always late for everything. I did
not understand it. One time he was supposed to come to  my  house
at  five  and  did not show up until eight. I had to call him and
find out where he was. It turns out he was running  some  errands
with his friend and never bothered to call me about it. I did not
understand how he could have been so rude. He did not  even  seem
to  care  when  I told him I was upset. He just said it was not a
big deal and to stop worrying so much. I wish  I  knew  why  some
guys are like that.

#1. The one thing that I find puzzling about the opposite sex, is
why  they  act  uninterested when they really are.  Why they dont
call girls back right away and they never want you to  know  that
they like you in the beginning of the relationship.

#1. What I have found to be puzzling about the  opposite  sex  is
that  men  seem  to like to go off and be with the other guys and
have a "boys night out" and us women usually want to be with  the
men.  I do not understand why guys like to go off and be together
so often without their ladies.

#1. Many situations have occurred between the opposite sex and me
however  as  puzzling  as  they  were I have never attributed the
gender to be the cause of the situation.

#1

#1.  One puzzling thing about men that I've noticed is  how  they
always  seem  impress  women they meet.  This doesn't necessarily
mean men who are in a relationship with women  but  with  men  in
general.  They like to prove themselves to women.  Sometimes they
go to far and we end up calling it arrogance. Yet, those  who  do
it correctly succeed and are truly impressive.

#1. There is not one situation that  I  can  remember,  when  the
opposite  sex has just completely puzzled me.  Men do things that
make you wonder sometimes, like acting one way in front of  their
friends  and  then  acting a different way in front of you, but I
don't think that that is because of their gender.

#1. my close guy friend and I were to meet some friends at  Magic
Mountain.   Everything was fine until we had to leave.  His close
family friends were throwing a beach party at night! Of course we
wanted  to  check  it  out,  however,  when it came down to it he
wanted me to do all the "goodbye" stuff. It doesn't sound like  a
big  deal,  but just the way he was bugging me to say that we had
to leave - it was almost as though he didn't want to be  the  one
to  break  everything  up.   He's  not  the  pushover kind of guy
either. It made me feel like he didn't want the others  to  think
that  he was 'ruining the fun'.  It goes along the lines of 'guys
changing when with their friends'. He needed to be the laid  back
kind  of  guy who just takes things as they come. I just couldn't
understand why he couldn't tell them that we  had  to  go  mainly
because he wanted to.

#1.  I never seem to fully understand why when I date a  guy  and
we are alone he is one person, but the moment his friends walk in
the room his whole attitude changes.  Everything from the way  he
looks at me to the way he speaks is different.  I truly feel this
is not a character flaw but a "sex" flaw if you can call it that.
It  is  not  one  guy  in particular but most men I know do this.
Where as if his girl friends were to come in he would continue as
if  nothing  has changed.  Given fact that some men have the need
to put up a front for their friends, is sort of a explantion  but
the  complete  switch is not.  In my opinion if the person really
likes you then there should not be a swich.  Granted some  things
may  change  like  he  wouldn't  tell my how much me missed me in
front of his friends, but going from boyfriend and girlfriend  in
two seconds is not cool.

#1.  One situation where I found that the opposite sex was deeply
puzzling  is  how  a  person that I had been seeing was very much
interested in me.  He would tell me how much he wanted to be with
me  but  he would never call when he said that he would.  I never
understood why he would do that.  He would leave me  messages  on
my  pager  of  how  much  he missed me but that was it.  He would
never call so that we could have a good conversation.  He  seemed
to  thrive  on  the attention he was getting from me.  I guess he
loved how I would call him and ask what  was  wrong  and  why  he
didn't  call  me ever.  He was just the most puzzling male I have
ever encountered.  His sudden bursts of affection were wonderful,
but  he  would  forget  about  me  for a few weeks.  At the end I
figured out that I was his rebound.  He  was  just  using  me  to
forget about his ex-girlfriend.  I don't know if that ever worked
because I actually just wrote him a very mean letter and told him
that  I was not up to be used as the rebound.  I told him that my
emotions were involved and I did not want to be part of his game.
He has never called me since.

#1. I cannot think of any sort of situation where I  came  across
such a person who was puzzling because of their gender.  I'm sure
I've met  a ton of them , but not one standout in my  mind  right
now.

#1.Once a guy got mad at me for not sitting next to  him  on  the
shuttle.   We  were  dating and the shuttle was taking us back to
our cars, and there weren't two seats together so I just picked a
seat.  He  was  so  mad  he wanted to go home and end our date. 1
couldn't understand it because 1 wanted to get to the car  and  I
didn't want to wait for another shuttle.  I didn't think that not
sitting together was such a big deal. But he was so mad  he  made
me cry.


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QUESTION  #2.   In  general,  what do you like about the opposite
sex?  What do you dislike?


#2. In general I like the bluntness and laid back nature  of  men
whereas  women tend to be a lot more highstrung. What I generally
dislike about men is the lack of emotional frankness. Men tend to
not  be  as open with their feelings and as willing to share them
as women.

#2. In general, I like that guys are  carefree  or  kicked  back,
they're  (generally) friendly, and they don't over-analyze things
like females tend to do. In general, what I dislike about guys is
that they don't call when they say they will, they don't remember
little things that females would find important, and  they  don't
like  to  expand on anything (they answer, "yeah" or "uh-huh" and
leave it at that).

#2. The sweet and cute way they act around females. The side that
most guys don't see. Their funny sense of humor, their feeling of
protecting the female, their sensitivity  to  woman  and  way  of
saying  everything is going to be okay. My dislikes about men are
their insensitivity of the woman's needs, their  laziness,  their
lack of concern towards certain situations, impatience.

#2. In general I like that the opposite sex is a lot more relaxed
when  it comes to certain situations. For example in an emergency
situation a male will generally remain calmer.  I also like  that
males  are not a judgmental as females are.  I dislike that males
can be insensitive towards a relationship or  towards  a  females
feelings.

#2. In general, I like that guys are aggressive.   I  like  their
protective  nature.   I  think  that  their  physical strength is
attractive.  Guys are able to walk into a room  with  other  guys
and  immediately form connections, that is a great quality.  They
are easy going and can find humor in almost  anything.   I  don't
like how guys are enable to see deeper than surface level in most
situations.   Guys  are  overly  competitive.   They   also   are
extremely jealous.

#2. I like many things about the opposite sex.  What I enjoy  the
most  is  that  they  are  so  different  from  us.  Their entire
mentality  is  completely  different  from  the  way  women   are
altogether.   I  embrace  their  diversity.   I  appreciate men's
honesty, their randomness, and their smell.  A man's smell has to
be  one  of  the most amazing things about them.  If a scent of a
man (and I am not talking about cologne) tickles my nose, then  I
know  we  can  work very well together, no matter what situation.
On the other hand, men have a few traits I can't seem to  handle.
I dislike their insensitivity.  I do not like that men can't seem
to  realize  when  they  are  hurting  other  people.   But  more
specifically,  men don't know when they hurt women. Men may claim
they  don't  hurt  women  purposely,  and  this  may   be   true.
Nevertheless,  men  should  take notice as to what bothers women,
and make sure they do not repeat the action.  One  thing  I  feel
alone  on  is when men gawk at other women.  I hate it.  But many
women do not mind it.  If a man gawks at me, I feel  that  he  is
not  looking at me as a person, but as a sexual object.  And I am
not a sexual object.

#2. I like the way men comfort women, how men can touch a women's
face  in  a way that it tells her that she will be safe, at least
during those few seconds of bliss.   A  man's  touch  can  be  as
soothing  as  a  warm  night listening to the ocean.In contrast a
dislike would be the way men don't analyze enough. In a situation
where  I  need  to  know everything is all right I feel analyzing
that situation is necessary whereas men feel to do this would  be
annoying.  Picking  the  problem  to  pieces  is going to far but
analyzing it to where the problem diminishes is necessary to me.

#2. In general, I don't distinguish good or bad qualities on  the
basis  of  sex. I like certain attributes in a person, regardless
of their sex. I like or dislike a PERSON, not a certain  sex.   I
like  a  funny person, whether girl or boy, over a boring person.
I have both female and male friends that  I  have  fun  with.   I
don't  think  there are qualities about the opposite sex that are
restricted only to that sex.

#2. What I find most appealing about the  opposite  sex  is  when
they  are gentlemen, and respectful towards women, no matter whom
they are or what they look  like.   I  like  how  guys  get  this
protective aura about them when there is a slight sign of danger,
it makes me feel safe and like  he  really  cares  about  me  and
wanting  to  keep me secure.  Also along that line, I like when a
guy sticks up for a girl, even if she is just a friend.   Another
one  of  my  favorites  is  when  a guy listens to me and doesn't
interrupt me, like what I'm  saying  is  so  important.   Another
example  is when guys show their affection in little ways, like a
peck on the forehead, or holding hands  or  snuggling,  it  shows
they  aren't  afraid  to show their more vulnerable side.  I also
love, guy's eyes, especially blue eyes, I love how a guy can look
at  you  and  it  feels  like he's having a conversation with you
without any words.  A few things I dislike  about  guys  are  how
they  can totally change into immature little boys as soon as one
of their friends enters the room.  I don't like how  they  fidget
like  children when you try to talk about what's going on between
the two of you or  anything  requiring  him  to  talk  about  his
feelings.   I  hate how a guy lets his friends impact his life so
much, that they control everything  he  does,  to  the  point  of
getting  him  to  brake  it off with a girl they don't approve of
even if he really likes her.  I really don't appreciate it when a
guy  degrades  and insults a girl in front of his friends to make
him look, or think he looks good.  To kind of put a conclusion on
this,  believe  me  I  could go on, I dislike it when a guy talks
about a girl he's with, in not such a  respectful  tone,  to  his
friends.   So  that it belittles the girl, especially if it's not
true.  Guys gossip as  much  as  girls,  only  they  usually  are
spreading lies.

#2. I love that guys are very  blunt  and  honest,  because  even
though  it  may hurt sometimes, you can always be sure that those
who are will be telling you the  total  truth  (which  can  never
really  be a bad thing). Also, you know that when they give you a
compliment that they must mean it because they are not afraid  to
be  honest  with  you.  I also like how guys are so laid back and
relaxed.  Sometimes guys are more fun to  be  around  than  girls
because  they're  not so uptight and they don't always need to be
doing  something.  Instead,  they  are  perfectly  content   with
relaxing  and not so concerned with doing an activity, but simply
concerned with just having a good time. Guys are  interesting  to
talk  to  because  you  know that you will be getting a different
perspective on life from them, and though  that  may  present  an
argument,  it  is  also  quite  a  learning  experience. Guys are
basically just easygoing which makes me  feel  very  relaxed  and
comfortable  around  them.  I  feel  that  they don't judge me or
overanalyze me. On the other hand,  guys  never  really  seem  to
overanalyze  anything.  They  are always saying that girls "think
too much." Well, since we have been blessed as human beings  with
the  ability  to  think  so  intensely,  I think that the comment
sounds very primitive.  I  don't  think  that  anyone  ever  told
Einstein or Freud that they just "think too much." Guys also have
such a hard  time  understanding  women,  which  is  frustrating,
because  though  we are a different sex, we are still people. All
people are different and sometimes complicated, but I don't think
that it is just girls who are so difficult. Some men are "hard to
figure out," and guys just never seem to look at themselves  that
way.  We do think differently about various issues resulting from
both biological and environmental influences, but when  it  comes
down to it, we are all human.

#2. I like the fact that guys are more open  to  new  things  and
generally  more  "go  with  the flow".  They also seem to be more
accepting of people and things for  what  they  are.   Generally,
guys  are  not  as  superficial as girls are.  I dislike the fact
that guys think on such a simple level.  I feel that  this  often
causes miscommunication.

#2. I think men  are  very  complex  creatures,  some  more  than
others.  I really like typical masculine characteristics.  I like
it when they are gentlemen and open doors etc.  I  like  it  when
they  try  to woo you or impress you.  I like how they don't over
dramatize or over analyze.  I don't like the fact that they  tend
to  put a lot more emphasis on physical beauty rather than inner.
Sex is their ultimate goal in relationships.  I really dislike it
when  a guy is attentive and respectful when he's with a girl but
as soon as he gets around other guy friends  he  turns  into  the
biggest jerk.

#2. I like how guys can be protective,  caring,  open,  outgoing,
blunt,  and  sensitive.  I  tend to have guy friends who act in a
brotherly fashion. It is a nice feeling to  know  that  there  is
always  someone  looking  out  for you. I dislike how guys can be
lazy, flakey, dishonest. I've have some male friends who  can  be
flakey  to  a  point  where you have to tell them to be somewhere
earlier then everyone else. This is so that they will actually be
ontime.  Being on time and reliable is really important to me. It
shows that they care and respect you if they are  showing  up  on
time  for  things.  I  also dislike when guys are dishonest about
their feelings and will not talk about things until you  try  and
bring  it  out  of  them.  The  last trait I dislike is when they
become too comfortable and do rude things such as burping without
apologizing  to me. I can understand if they apologize but not if
they do not apologize.

#2. In general I like the protection that I feel when I am around
a  guy.   It  is  a  feeling  of  security and safety that like a
comfort zone around you.  Another thing that  I  like  about  the
opposite  sex is the way they don't over analyze anything.  Women
do enough of that on their own, and in a way it just  complicates
and  produces anxious feelings that aren't really worth it.  Some
things that I dislike about the opposite sex in general  are  the
way  they dont see the importance in the little things like women
do. They also hold a lot of their emotions  back  when  they  are
mad,  sad,  or  frustrated, and if they don't hold them back they
wont tell you what is really bothering them.  plus they will  not
volunteer information willingly about their emotions.  It takes a
lot of prying and then if you're lucky they'll tell you.

#2.  What  I  like  about  guys  is  that  they   can   be   very
straightforward,  they  can  be  very protective, most seem to be
less inhibited in their communication with others which can  make
them  very  funny,  and  I  especially  like  them  when they act
gentlemanly.  Some things that I dislike about guys is that  they
can   be  very  insensitive,  they  often  act  as  if  they  are
unemotional, they have a very small attention span,  and  overall
they  just  do  not seem to understand women, which can partly be
our fault.

#2. Men can be very challenging in terms  of  figuring  out  what
they  are  thinking about or how they feel.  If I am romantically
interested in a man, I gladly accept the challenge.  As a  woman,
I  can  usually  tell  what  another  woman is thinking by simply
reading the emotions from  her  face,  however  men  seem  to  be
trickier.    I also appreciate a man's build and the way in which
he utilizes his body in the work force, self  defense  and  in  a
romantic setting.  I dislike the most about men is that they have
a  tendency  to  become  emotionally  closed  or   blocked   when
confronted  with  problematic  issues  in  a  relationship.  They
simply do not care to discuss the matter and if they are cornered
into a discussion they will usually say as little as possible.

#2.  Believe it or not, there are a few things that I like  about
the  opposite  sex.   I like it when they are protective, however
not too protective.  I like it when they care about you enough to
defend you and feel the need to protect you.  I like feeling safe
when I'm around  the  opposite  sex  and  having  that  sense  of
security.  I also like how males are less analytical than females
and that acts as a good balance.  Some women hate how men can  be
too  simple-minded,  but  I  think  that quality can be positive.
Women often think about things too much..  Sometimes it's nice to
take  a  break  from  that and "simplify". I dislike when men let
their egos get the best of them.  Often, their pride gets a  hold
on  them,  especially  if  it  has anything to do with sports!  I
absolutley hate that.  I find that to be a big turn-off.  I  also
dislike  when  men expect women to take care of them.  Of course,
that mothering instinct is in our nature, but I can't stand  when
men  just  expect  it  out  of  us.   I  dislike  it when men act
differently when they are around their friends as opposed to when
they  are  alone  with their girlfriends.  It's like they are two
different people.

#2.  What I like about men include their  protective  nature.   I
like  feeling  security when I'm around a man because it makes me
feel more comfortable. I also like the respect most of them  have
for  women  and  their  gentlemen-like nature.  They seem to have
great senses of humor and can laugh at themselves. I dislike  the
two faces men can have also.  As mentioned in class, men have the
tendency to act differently around other male friends.  I dislike
how  men  cannot  seem to empathize with a woman when she's moody
because it's "that time of the month."  Men see this as  a  sorry
excuse  and  cannot  seem  to  understand.   Men  also have this,
"you're a girl" mentality where they believe that women  are  not
capable  of  doing  something  a  man  should  be doing.  I don't
believe there's such a thing as "a man's job" in the world today.
They also think that when it comes to "getting away" with things,
men believe women are more  likely  to  talk  their  way  out  of
things.

#2.  I  like  the  fact  that  men  tend  to  be  more  carefree,
protective,  blunt  and funny.  Men ,however, tend to not be good
listeners, place their needs far above ours, and regard women  as
being trivial because we care about the little things.

#2. I like how some guys can be funny and spontaneous.   Usually,
they  don't seem to have any concept of time. (Not a great thing,
but...) They don't get uptight about being somewhere at a certain
time  -  even  though  they seem to get there and have everything
under control - and they seem  to  possess  this  art  of  sweet-
talking their way through.  Not to say that this is a good thing,
but they usually know how to push a girl's buttons. I  also  like
it  when  guys  are  sensitive  and let down their guard to allow
other people into what they're really all about. Guys seem to  be
more  willing  to  do anything at anytime!  However that can turn
ugly. When in a pretty serious relationship, their free  spirited
nature  can  work against them. Things like calling when they say
they would-doesn't always happen or showing up an hour late  only
to say "it's no big deal, calm down" isn't such a cozy feeling.

#2.  Generally speaking I love the way the  mere  presence  of  a
male  makes  me feel, given the fact that I would be attracted to
them.  Along the same lines of their presence is the  feeling  of
being  protected.   It's  not  that  I  don't think I can protect
myself, but when there is a male by my side I feel safer,  as  if
they  could make it all better.  Till this day I have never found
a woman that could make me feel this way not that  I  would  want
to.  One  of  the things I dislike most about the opposite sex is
the way they tend to minimize everything in someone  elses  life.
Not only do they do this, but also what ever is important to them
is the greatest thing  For example if they lost a game  there  is
no use talking to them until they get over it.  This also happens
with my close guy friends.

#2. What I like about the opposite sex is  that  they  have  this
sense of protection.  A woman tends to feel protected when she is
with a man (of course situations vary).  Men are fun  loving  and
make  you  have a good time when they are in a good mood.  What I
don't like about the opposite sex is that most men seem not to be
dependable.  When they say that they will call, they don't.

#2. Things I like about the opposite sex are that  men  are  more
carefree,  funny, protective, blunt about certain issues, and are
a strong figure for us to turn to.   This  I  dislike  about  the
opposite  sex  are  that they are not good listeners, place their
own priorities above ours, do not emotionally open up without  us
dragging  it  out of them, do not appreciate the little things we
find so important, and most of them obsess about sports and video
games.

#2. Hike the way they try to be gentlemanly, but end  up  looking
goofy doing it. For example, they run to open a door for you, and
look silly running for it. Or they stand up  to  give  you  their
seat  and  trip  on  the  seat doing it. I like that they want to
carry something for you even if it isn't heavy.


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QUESTIION  #3.  What  is the one thing that the opposite sex most
misunderstands about your own sex?


#3. Men seem to be under the impression  that  women  are  overly
emtional  and are over sensitive when in reality it probably just
seems so in contrast to how men tend to internalize such emotions
while women clearly externalize for the most part.

#3. The thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about  my
own  sex  are  the  clues  or signs that women are trying to give
them. If a woman wants anything from a guy she  has  to  directly
tell  him  what  it  is  because  if she just tries to drop hints
around he'll never get it!

#3. The one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about
my  sex is the emotional state women go through before and during
the menstrual cycle. Personally, I need  extra  affection,  love,
and understanding.

#3. The one thing that the opposite sex misunderstands about  the
female population is that female and males do not think the same.
They think they can treat females like they would treat a male. A
female will not react to a certain situation like a male will.

#3. It is true that most of the time we do not know what we  want
and  once  we  figure  it out more than likely we will change our
minds.  But what men have to understand is that we expect them to
be  understanding.  We  expect  them to at least pretend like the
care.

#3. Men do not understand that most women are not as sappy as men
see  them  as.  Not all women cry at "chic flicks" and some women
hate those movies altogether.  Sometimes men do not realize  that
some  women  want  to be treated like "one of the guys" and not a
girlfriend prospect.  I feel if men and women treated each  other
like  individuals  with  the occasional respectful courting, then
the two sexes would get along so much better.

#3. Men find it extremely hard to find what women  want.  However
in a lot of situations I understand this because women,(including
myself)expect them to guess.  Yet some men try to hard.  I  think
the  best  thing  in  any male/female relationship is to think of
themselves as the other person and try to understand what is best
for one another.

#3. I think one misconception is that females  are  dependent  on
males,  and  somehow  restricted to certain roles.  I love to see
women changing the oil, and in engineering classes.  We are at  a
time  in  history when these roles are changing.  Gender is not a
predictor of behavior anymore.


#3. The one thing that guys most misunderstand about women is the
way we think.  For the life of them they can't understand what we
do what we do, it's not that hard, you'd think  they'd  catch  on
after  awhile.  We  are  very  rational  and logical, with a keen
perception of details.  We don't purposely try to  trip  men  up.
Women are usually consistent in their thought processes, men just
expect our ideas to be complicated so they get confused when they
don't  understand  why  we did something.  It's not hard we think
sensibly.

#3. Guys never really understand why women are so concerned  with
their  looks.  But guys never look at themselves and question why
they put gel in their hair, try to get  nice  clothes,  sometimes
even  get  body piercings, and especially work out. Every society
has some form of beauty that though it can be natural,  is  often
replicated  artificially.  And  no  other society seems to have a
problem with women trying to artificially elongate their necks or
deform  their lips.  Even harmful practices are seen as simply an
effort to make a woman more beautiful.  But guys in  our  society
don't  see  why  women  want to wear make-up or get their hair or
nails done. But at the same time they drool over women  who  wear
the  most make-up and spend the most time on their hair and money
on their nails.  I don't  think  that  a  woman  trying  to  make
herself  more  beautiful  is wrong (unless harmful) because every
society has an image of what is pretty, and it  is  only  natural
for  most women to want to follow that image. Every other culture
does it and ours is  the  only  one  where  the  men  just  don't
understand it.

#3. I think that guys most  misunderstand  a  female's  emotions.
They tend to look at our emotions as always being moodiness, when
in reality women just show their emotions more than guys do.

#3. Men tend to  misunderstand  that  just  because  a  woman  is
assertive  or  strong  minded she is not PMS-ing or a bitch.  Men
tend to blame that sort of thing on moodiness and "that  time  of
the month" when they can be just as moody or worse.

#3. I think the one thing that guys misunderstand about girls the
most  is how girls always like to talk a lot about things such as
dates or other situations that  have  happened  during  the  day.
Males  always  seem  to feel that it is not a big deal and we are
being over dramatic. However, in my opinion, talking about things
in depth makes me understand things a lot better. For example, if
I went on a date I would want to talk to a friend to see  if  she
could help me understand signals or reactions I received from the
guy that I did not understand.

#3. One thing that the opposite  sex  most  misunderstands  about
women  are  the  mood  swings.  Many  men  will  just jump to the
conclusion that its "that time of the month"  when  a  women  get
angry  and upset, when this really isn't the issue.  When in fact
there is something that happened in their relationship or in  her
life  that  was upsetting and irritating.  Another thing that men
don't understand about women is the pressure that society puts on
them  to look good and be thin.  This is why women are constantly
asking if "they look fat in this dress?"  I  know  that  men  get
tired  of  women  asking little questions like this, but it's not
exactly our fault.  We want to look good for ourselves and others
around us.

#3. The thing that the opposite  sex  most  misunderstands  about
women is our extremely sensitive nature.  Women are sensitive and
emotional and although most men know that, they do not understand
why  so  they  tend to not take that into consideration when they
are dealing with women.

#3. Most men still believe that women should  not  receive  equal
pay  in  the  work  field.   If  a woman is  equal or better at a
certain job in the work force there is no reason why  she  should
not be compensated for her skills.

#3. The one thing that males misunderstand about  females  is  in
the  area of moodswings. I admitt that it's got to be tough being
a guy when I'm in a certain mood, however they need to learn that
those  moods  pass.  A lot of times, females will say things that
they don't really mean and the  male  will  become  confused  and
eventually  give  up.   They  need to understand that it's just a
phase and  to  just  deal  with  it.   It  just  comes  with  the
territory.  #3. One thing that men misunderstand about most about
women is why women don't like  telling  men  when  "something  is
wrong."    Men   always   complain  about  how  women  are  never
straightforward and keep the men guessing about what's wrong.   I
think  is  because  women  like it when the men figure out what's
wrong and know what he has done to cause  it.   It  sound  pretty
selfish  but  it's  true.   When  a women sees that her man knows
what's going on and can acknowledge his mistakes, it's much  more
comforting.

#3. Men do not seem to understand that  all  women  are  not  the
same.   We  each have our own mind, meaning that we each have our
own sets  of  wants  and  needs.   Just  because  their  previous
girlfriend  like certain things, it doesn't mean that every other
girl is going to like those same things.

#3. Our feelings. It sounds plain and dumb but  many  times  they
just  don't understand or take the time to want to understand how
we really feel about a particular situation. Maybe  a  drawn  out
speech  is a bit too much, but if they at least make an effort to
change what they're doing or saying - or  just  listen  from  the
beginning  of  the conversation, it wouldn't turn into such a big
deal.

#3. It is my firm belief that men tend to believe women will  get
emotionally attached to them from the moment anything goes beyond
a kiss.  This is so ridicules, women just as men are able to have
meaningless relationships or actions.

#3. What the opposite sex most misunderstands about  our  sex  is
that  most  women  are  very  sensitive to things that males find
minor and unimportant.

#3. That we are all different.  Men believe that just because one
women  likes  a  certain  thing  all women do.  However, they are
WRONG.  Every woman is different, so men need to stop judging  us
by their previous girlfriends.

#3. I think that the opposite sex  misunderstands  what  we  tell
them  so  often They think that we mean something other than what
we say.


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QUESTION   #4.  Think  about  a  time  when  you  found  yourself
particularly attracted to someone of  the  opposite  sex.    What
characteristics of that person do you think attracted you?   What
was the most important factor that attracted you to this  person,
e.g.,  physical  appearance, personality traits, self-confidence,
social status, friendly gestures toward you, etc.?


#4. I would venture to say that in meeting someone for the  first
time,  the  only  aspect  of  them  that  I  would  be able to be
attracted to would be their physicality in which case I  tend  to
notice  a  man's  eyes  and smile and the way in which he carries
himself. In cases where I actually know the person I generally am
attracted  to  sense of humor, intelligence, and the way in which
he might interact with others.

#4. I think in general, the first  thing  that  we  notice  about
someone  is  the way that they look and then from there we pretty
much decide whether we want to know the person  or  not.  When  I
think  about a time when I found myself particularly attracted to
someone of the  opposite  sex,  the  first  thing  that  probably
attracted   me  to  him  was  his  physical  appearance,  because
generally that the first thing we know  about  someone.  However,
the  most  important  factor  that  attracted  me  to him was his
personality. After getting to know him, I thought that he  was  a
nice, friendly guy, and that was important to me.

#4. The characteristics that I found particularly  attractive  in
my  boyfriend  was  his  tall height, thin, broad shoulders, long
legs, hazel eyes, cute smile, clean cut look, the way  he  looked
at me, the attention he gave me, the desire to get to know me and
hopefully hang out with me. The fact  that  he  was  independent,
responsible, and ambitious ways about him. His taking the make me
feel special,

#4. I am very attracted to male who has  very  good  manners  and
comes off as a friendly person. Some one who is conceded is a big
turn off. This person also has to be gentleman, someone that  can
make me laugh, and I feel comfortable with is very important.

#4. Physical appearance is always the first thing  that  attracts
me  to the opposite sex.  But then, I look for the way they carry
themselves.  I also look at how other people view them.  Do  they
think highly of him and the things that he has done with himself?

#4. The one thing  I  was  most  attracted  to  was  this   man's
friendliness  and  confidence, which to me equal charisma.  I can
remember his smiling eyes, his  laugh,  and  his  happiness  with
life.    His   charisma   made   him  look  even  more  gorgeous,
irresistibly appealing, and definitely sexy.  His entire aura was
a  force that magnetically attracted me to him.  I had to be near
him, there was no other physically possible way.

#4. Some characteristics a guy had when I was most  attracted  to
him  was  when  he  handed me a flower at the most awkward moment
while looking straight into my eyes.  We did not say anything  to
each other during that moment, but I have never felt attracted to
anyone like that since then.  His forward attitude  attracted  me
to him while his appearance was just as appealing.

#4. I was attracted to him because he was nice, funny, fun to  be
with,  and cute.  The main thing that attracted me to him was his
interest in me.  His gestures toward me.  I liked the feeling  of
being needed/ important to someone else.

#4. The characteristics that attracted me to one  particular  man
are,  his sensitive nature, the way he listened to me as if I was
the only one in the room; I would say that was the most important
trait about him.  How I would catch him looking at me from across
the room, and he didn't bother to look away when I  saw  him.   I
was  attracted  to  his  laid  back nature; how he wasn't worried
about how everything was going to turn out, he  just  trusted  it
would.   I liked how he walked with me at night so I wasn't going
alone, and how he gave me his jacket when I  was  cold.   It  was
also a nice change to find a guy who didn't care about what other
people thought of him, he was comfortable with who  he  was.   He
would  joke  with me but never put me down, and he would cheer me
up when I was upset, and of course he had blue eyes.

#4. Though I cannot be physically attracted to someone who  I  do
not  find  physically  attractive,  few people who I am genuinely
attracted to were the ones who I initially found to be physically
attractive.  Rather, I am attracted to their minds. Brad Pitt can
talk  to  me  for  five  minutes,  and  if  he  sounds   shallow,
unintelligent,  or  just  too simple of a person, then I won't be
attracted to him. But if Danny Devito talked to me for  the  same
amount  of  time  and seemed deep with his thoughts, intelligent,
and a strong individual who was truly  fascinating,  then  I  may
just  fall  in  love  with him. Social status or self- confidence
(which I like to call arrogance) never matters. And I don't  like
someone who is trying to "get me" like I am a prize or something.
I like men who are interested in conversation first, and  romance
later (if there is a desire).

#4. When I was first attracted to my boyfriend, I liked the  fact
that  he was easy going and fun.  Although I found him physically
attractive, when I first described him to my friends I told  them
what  a  nice  guy he was, I never really focused on the physical
part.  As time went on I also became attracted to the  fact  that
he  was  not  only  noce  to  me, but nice to everyone.  The most
important factors that attracted me were personality traits.

#4. I am a leasing agent at a new luxury apartment community that
is  being built in the Marina.  One day, one of the cutest guys I
have ever seen  walked  in  looking  for  an  apartment.   I  was
attracted  to  him  the  minute  he  walked  in the door.  He was
dressed in khakis and a white button down shirt.  He looked  very
clean  cut.  He was blonde, with blue eyes, probably 6 feet tall,
with perfectly tanned skin.  As he walked toward me he had a cute
smile  on  his face and introduced himself and shook my hand.  He
was extremely friendly and polite.  The only problem was  that  I
completely forgot the normal speech I give perspective residents.
I couldn't talk  and felt very self conscious.  He was  extremely
nice and asked a few questions.  When I could muster up the nerve
to speak he would look me directly in my eyes (which I love!) and
it  felt  like he was looking into my soul.  He ended up applying
for one of the apartments so I got  to  read  his  profile  which
increased  my attraction.  He is only 5 years older, has a stable
job as a stockbroker.  I was really excited that  he  didn't  put
down  a  spouse  or  a woman for his emergency contact.  A couple
days later I had to contact him and I called him at work and  got
his  voice  mail.  Even on his voice mail message he was nice and
polite. Everyone told me  that  because  he  is  gorgeous  and  a
stockbroker  that  means  he's also conceited but he didn't sound
full of himself on his machine and was extremely pleasant when  I
had talked to him.

#4. The most important factor that attracts me to a member of the
opposite  sex  are  their personality traits. I like a guy who is
funny, polite, outgoing, and respectful of my values and things I
like  to  do.  If  a  guy is good looking then it is definitely a
bonus but it is not really important to me.

#4. The characteristics that I  find  attract  me  are  numerous.
First,  just  like  anyone else I am attracted to what I see, the
physical appearance.  Then once you  begin  talking  you  see  if
their  personality  is  equally attractive.  If it's not then you
move on because this  is  probably  one  of  the  most  important
characteristics   of  a  person.   After  I  establish  if  their
personality is  good,  I  then  start  looking  at  the  friendly
gestures  because  this  tells  a  girl a lot about how they were
brought up, what their morals are and if they are a nice  guy  or
not.  #4. When I first met my boyfriend, what attracted me to him
most was the fact that he was nice.   He  was  just  so  nice  to
everyone  around him an it just caught my attention.  He was also
very quiet and kind of shy so it made him be mysterious.

#4. I was  attracted  to  the  characteristics,  which  made  him
different from the rest of the men I had dated in the past.  This
particular individual was wild. He had shoulder length  straight,
thick,   black,   shiny  hair.   He  had  a  vast  collection  of
beautifully  colored  tattoos,  he  drove   a   Harley   Davidson
motorcycle,  and an exquisitely built masculine body.  He had the
kind of body that anything he wore looked exceptional on him.  He
was  exceedingly  self  confident  about  him  self  which  was a
refreshing change from the others in the past.

#4. I can  recall  one  particular  time  when  I  was  extremely
attracted  to  someone  of  the  opposite  sex.  Initially, I was
attracted  to  him  physically.   He  was  very  good-looking,  a
football  player (nice bod), and had a certain walk :)  I guess I
was pretty much infatuated with him.  Once I got to know  him,  I
discovered  that  his  personality  wasn't  as spectacular as his
looks.  However, his self-confidence continued to draw me to  him
even  more.   I liked the way that he interacted with me.  He was
so suave and it was hard to not be attracted to him.

#4. The initial characteristic of attraction to me is  definitely
physical  looks.   This is true in most cases.  A person's beauty
outside is the only thing  that  can  be  known  prior  to  being
introduced  to  each  other.  A sense of humor, friendliness, and
confidence are also attractive characteristics.  It's nice to  be
able  to  talk  to  a  man who isn't afraid to talk to you nor is
afraid to offer his opinions regarding certain topics.  The  most
important  factor  is  personality  traits.   I  look for certain
traits that are compatible and sometimes  complimentary  with  my
traits.   This  attractions  leads to a level of respect that can
grow.

#4. Right off the bat, a male's looks  attract  me.   After  that
initial   attraction  things  like  their  sense  of  humor,  and
mannerisms attract me.  Most  importantly  however,  is  a  man's
personality.  They could be the most attractive man in the world,
but if they have a horrible personality then they are ugly.

#4. When I first saw him, I thought he was  the  absolute  cutest
person  alive!  His confidence, presence, humor, athleticism, and
carefree attitude melted my heart. That  was  just  admiring  him
from  a  distance.  Everyone loved him!  When I finally talked to
him, it was almost like we'd been friends  forever!   He  was  so
easy to talk to and so incredibly down to earth!

#4. His charisma granted his body was not anything to cast aside,
but  the  way  he seemed to not only attract people but keep them
interested.  When he talked people hung on his words.  In the end
after  the  "getting  to know him" stage, I remained attracted to
him because he was extremely attentive to my needs and  feelings.
In the end that was the most important thing.

#4. When I was attracted to someone of the opposite  sex  it  was
because of their facial features.  I thought that that person was
beautiful and I wanted to meet him.  He also seemed  to  carry  a
sense  of  mystery and sensitivity that I had not sensed in a man
for a long time.  After we had met, we began to converse.  We had
a  lot  of  things  in  common.  Our  conversation  just  made my
attraction to him much more than the initial meeting.

#4. Characteristics that have attracted me to  the  opposite  sex
are,  their looks, social status, sense of humor, the kind of car
he drives, and the way they look at me. However, I have  come  to
learn  that the most important factor is their personality.

#4. I think that the first thing that attracts me to a guy is his
looks.   I  like a cute face, and pretty eyes. But T never end up
with the guys that T think are cute. I find that the guys that  I
am  not  attracted  to  at  first  are  the  ones  that  I have a
relationship with. They guys that I like  for  their  personality
are the ones that I end up with.


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QUESTION  #5.  In  your  opinion,  what  are  the  strengths  and
weaknesses of the opposite sex?

#5. Strengths: physical  strength,  ability  to  not  necessarily
allow  emotions to get in the way of a greater objective, relaxed
nature. Weaknesses: lack of emotional  openness,  aggressiveness,
carrying  the  view that to be open with others emotionally is to
be weak.

#5. In my opinion, men's strengths are that  they  don't  put  so
much  emphasis  on  their  emotions  and they tend to be loyal to
their friends.  Their weaknesses, are that they think  about  sex
too  much  and  they  never  know  when to say the right thing to
women.

#5. The strengths in males are that they  have  the  capacity  to
make a woman feel like the most beautiful and most special person
in the world. The sense of protection.

#5. The strengths of the opposite sex are that they can  be  very
protective  and  make me feel safer being with that individual. A
weakness is that males find it very hard opening  up  their  true
feeling  to  people  or maybe just women. They also are scared to
make a commitment.

#5. Men are able to be what ever they want to be as long as  they
believe  in  themselves  and  are  confident  about their choices
people do not doubt them.  This is a  strength  because  men  are
able  to  pursue  goals  that  women  usually  have a harder time
pursuing.  Their weakness lies in  the  fact  that  men  are  not
supposed  to be indecisive or unsure of their decisions.  Men are
not supposed to have a low self-esteem and doubt their decisions.
This is a weakness because men have a tendency to make decisions,
sometimes life changing just to prove something to  other  people
instead of it being something they really want to do.

#5. A man's  strengths  have  brought  him  in  to  the  powerful
position  they  are in todays world. Men are assertive. They know
what they want and will, at all costs, do what they  can  to  get
themselves  there.   It is true when women say "men only want one
thing"  The cliche is true.  That thing may not  always  be  sex,
but  it  is  always SUCCESS.  If a man gets a high paying job, he
succeeds.  If a man has sex  with  women,  he  considers  that  a
success.   If  things  did  not  go according to plan, then a man
feels that he has failed.

#5. The strengths men have are in their ability to help women (or
maybe  just  myself)feel  safe  whether  it  be  through physical
attributes or their words.  Their weakness  is  being  afraid  of
letting their emotions be to well known.

#5. The strengths of a person  can  be  measured,  but  I  cannot
generalize  and  give  the  strengths  of  the  opposite  sex.  A
particular man can have extremely powerful,  personal  strengths,
but   there   are  also  some  that  have  extremely  detrimental
weaknesses.  At the same time, there are many women with  immense
strength, while there are others who possess great weaknesses.  A
quality in a person that I admire as  a  strength  would  be  the
ability  to  create change.  It is too easy to get "stuck" in the
same "rut" of life. Usually, this would involve setting  personal
goals and eventually achieving them.  A strength in any person is
their ability to be self-motivated and create change. A  weakness
that   can  be  applied  to  both  males  and  females  would  be
dependence.  I think  that  when  an  individual,  regardless  of
gender, cannot help themselves, they are trapped in a fundamental
weakness.  In life, when it comes down to it, we are all "utterly
alone."   Sure,  we can have friends, and lovers, but ultimately,
we must be independent and responsible for our actions.   In  the
end,  we  are  "utterly alone." This is not a depressing quality,
merely a fact of life that we should be thankful  for;  the  fact
that  we  have  complete  control  over our lives.  If someone is
dependent on another, then this gift of self-reliance is stripped
from us.

#5. The strengths of men are definitely their assertiveness,  how
they  aren't  afraid  to  take  charge  of  a situation and their
physical  strength.   It  gives  them   advantages   in   certain
situations.  Their weakness would be their pride, it often clouds
their judgment and gets them into  trouble,  mainly  with  women,
because  we  don't  understand how men are so concerned with what
they look like, and whether or not they are acting masculine.

#5. I think that I answered this question in #2  since  they  are
quite similar and both subjective.

#5. The strengths of a male are that they can easily adapt to new
surroundings  and  people  and that they tend to make the best of
any situation.  The weaknesses of a male are  that  they  can  be
egotistical  and  self  absorbed.   Also  they  have  a hard time
showing their true feelings and often displace their aggressions.

#5. In my opinion, men are good at making  women  feel  safe  and
protected.   One  thing  that  they  seem  to be horrible with is
communication.

#5. I find that males tend to be more outgoing and laid  back.  I
consider this a good strength to have. It puts less stress on the
relationship if they do  not  mind  relaxing  and  doing  nothing
sometimes.   Some weaknesses that guys can have are that they can
be too egotistical and obnoxious. For example, I went out with  a
male  friend  once  and  we got lost going somewhere. However, he
would not stop to ask for directions because he wanted to show me
he  could  find the place himself. It took us half an hour longer
than it should have but we eventually found it. If we had asked a
person  around  the neighborhood in the first place it would have
taken us about five or ten minutes to get to this place.

#5. The strengths of the opposite sex  are  the  self  confidence
that they portray when they are out in public.  They are proud of
themselves and I think a lot of women wish  they  could  be  more
like  that.   Plus  it  is  very  attractive  when a guy isnt too
obsessed with himself but he is proud of what he looks like.  One
weakness that I have noticed with men is that they don't have the
listening skills that women do.  When a women wants to talk to  a
man  it  seems that there is likely to be some irritation because
she is expecting the listening qualities  of  a  women  and  them
becomes  disappointed  when  the  realization  sets  in that guys
aren't as good of listeners.

#5. I feel that the strengths and weaknesses  that  men  have  is
basically what I said in question #2.

#5. Men's strengths: Pride,  self-confidence  and  humor.   Men's
weaknesses:   Emotional  closure, ignorance, and immaturity while
in the company of close buddies and girlfriend/new date.

#5. One strength of the opposite sex is the  way  that  they  can
make   a   woman   feel   secure.    I  believe  that  protective
characteristic men have is a big positive.  They  way  that  they
can  make a woman feel is a definite strength on their part.  One
weakness is the fact that they  are  very  sight-oriented.   This
tends  to  get them into hot water more times than not.  They are
easily drawn to  what  they  see,  which  usually  turns  into  a
weakness  when it comes to females.  Women have more self-control
in this area wheras men are more inclined to  act  on  what  they
feel.   Another  weakness  is the fact that they have a hard time
communicating  their  feelings  and  expressing  their  emotions,
especially in a relationship. This can be difficult and can often
times destroy relationships because of the lack of  communication
between couples.

#5. The strengths of the  opposite  sex  include  being  able  to
fulfill  the  needs of most women, being a dependable counterpart
for the woman  and  being  a  stabilizing  force.,  acting  as  a
"representative" for the rest of the male population when a woman
asks, "How do I look in this  dress?"  or  when  answering  other
questions  regarding personal appearance.  Males also have things
in common with other males and would have similar  opinions.  So,
when  it  comes  to looking for a present for a man, most of them
can give you an  idea  of  what  to  look  for.   I  think  men's
weaknesses  include being easily distracted, not paying attention
when they should because they are  so  distracted,  being  overly
protective, and being a little more superficial than women.  They
become attracted and infatuated  to  women  quickly  but,  unlike
women, this feeling fades.

#5. Their strengths are  their  ability  to  fully  think  things
through  and  to  detach  themselves emotionally from situations.
Men have a weakness when it comes to prioritizing and listening.

#5. Strengths: maintaining their pride, their image  with  peers,
and their tough guy attitude.  Weaknesses: actually falling for a
girl (friend issue again) and letting their guard down.

#5. Men's weaknesses begin with the fact they tend to think  they
can  do  everything better than a women.  The second is that they
think they are the best at what they do.  The strength  I  admire
the  most  is  their ability to hide their emotions especially in
relationships.  It's sometimes dificult trying to fiquere out  if
they like you back or thry are just in it for fun.

#5. Some of the strengths that I believe males  possess  is  that
they  have  their "feet on the ground."  They don't get caught up
in fantasy like most women do which can cause a problem  in  most
of  their  lives.   Another  strength  that  men possess is their
ability to not judge others as do woman in regards to things that
shouldn't  be  judged  (i.e.  clothing,  style).     Some  of the
weakness that contributes to a males fall down is their  lack  of
communication skills.  It is initially hard to get to really know
a guy because they do not care share their  inner  most  feelings
with anyone.  It seems that it is hard for a male to trust anyone
with their emotions.

#5. The strengths are of course, their physical strength, ability
to  rationally  think  things  through, and are able to put their
emotions aside and get the job done.  Weaknesses are they are not
good  listeners,  they distort their priorities (such as choosing
drinking and sports over their girlfriend or homework),  and  are
inconsiderate of others emotions.

#5. (Juys weakness are their that they are completely dense  when
it  comes  to relationships They have no idea what a relationship
needs. Guys either can't tell if there is something wrong or just
don't  want  to know. If something needs to be talked about, they
don't know how. If you need to spend  more  time  together,  they
have no clue. Guys strength


----------------------------------------------------------------------

QUESTION  #6.  Can  you think of any instances in which  you have
personally been treated unfairly by the  opposite  sex?   If  so,
give a brief description of what happened.


#6. I was dating a guy for approximately 2 or  3  months  when  I
decided  to  bring  about  a discussion concerning where he and I
both expected the relationship to go.  To my suprise, he  refused
to  discuss  it  and  brushed  me off by saying that "it's not an
issue that needs to be discussed and  the  relationship  will  go
where  it goes when and if it goes there or not". His reaction of
course hurt my feelings  and  I  felt  that  because  he  was  so
unwilling  to discuss and be open about emotions and feelings, he
was consequently showing me that he didn't care about  my  needs,
how I felt, and what I needed from him in order to be happy.

#6. I cannot think of an instance when I was treated unfairly  by
someone of the opposite sex.

#6. The unfair treatment always seems to arise when it comes time
to  hang  out  with  my  friends.  Like I stated before for #1 it
becomes unfair because basically, whatever I  want  to  be  doing
with my friends whetherit is to no out to a bar or a Partv, it is
never approved and Therefore I'm being asked  several  questions.
However,  when  it comes time for him to go out with friends it's
alwa~ok. I may ask one or two questions but never as many as  he.
It's all about being jedous and insecure.

#6. There has never  been  as  occurrence  where  I  was  treated
unfairly by the opposite sex because of my sex.

#6. No

#6. One instance where I have been treated unfairly  as  a  woman
was  when  a  man  felt  I was not intelligent enough to reliably
consider any information concerning a school  project  was  true.
Every  idea  or  answer  I  said was second-guessed.  So, my only
option was to redeem  myself  by  competing  with  this  guy  and
proving him wrong.

#6. No, besides the time when I  cried  about  an  insecurity  my
boyfriend had which I wrote about in number one.

#6. I cannot think of any concrete examples of  being  personally
mistreated by the opposite sex.

#6. Instances in which members of the  opposite  sex  treated  me
unfairly  happened  a  lot  in high school.  My guy friends would
never let my girlfriends and I play games with them,  whether  it
was  video  games  or  a  physical  sport.  We always had to just
watch, it got a little dull after a while.  They also paid hardly
any attention to us when we would talk; it was always about them,
because we didn't count.

#6. There are too many  instances  to  list  where  I  have  been
treated  unfairly  by  a  man,  so I will just tell about my most
recent experience. When I was moving in to my  apartment  and  my
mom's  boyfriend  was  helping me, he grabbed a heavy box from me
assuming that it was too heavy for  me  to  carry.  Though  I  am
pretty  small,  the  box  wasn't too heavy for me, and I couldn't
help thinking that he wouldn't have done that had I been a guy.

#6. There have been many  instances  when  I  have  been  told  I
couldn't  do something because I was a girl, but I can't think of
a specific instance when I was treated this way by  a  male.   It
has  to  do with the whole double standard issue held by both men
and women.

#6. I can't think of any particular  instance  of  being  treated
unfairly  by a man.  The only time I remember feeling I was being
treated unfair involved a woman.

#6. One instance  when  I  was  treated  unfairly  occured  in  a
previous  relationship.   My boyfriend at this was going out with
some people to one of my favorite restaurants. He  began  talking
about  the  restuarant  with  me  and  how  he was going with his
friends. He mentionned how they had an extra space. I was kind of
hoping  that  he would invite me because he knew how much I loved
that place. He also never mentionned anything  about  just  going
out  with  his  friends  that  night.  He  never  ended up saying
anything and found someone else to go but still talked  about  it
with  me when he was looking for someone. My ex-boyfriend did not
even consider inviting me even though he knew how  much  I  loved
that place. I then decided to call my friend who was in the group
of people going to the restaurant, and asked him to go to  coffee
after  the dinner. I also decided to go out with my sister and my
cousins to a restuarant right next door where  my  boyfriend  was
going  to be. When I met my friend, my-ex boyfriend had the nerve
to go with my friend to come and see me. He did not have  a  clue
that what he did might have hurt me even though most people would
saw it right away. I was really upset about that. This was one of
the  more  painful experiences of rejection and unfairness I have
experienced with relationships.

#6.  one instance that  I  have  been  treated  unfairly  by  the
opposite  sex  in the area of mechanic and woodwork.  I am one of
two daughters in my family and therefore my dad took me in  as  a
son  basically.   I  learned everything that a father would teach
his son, we crawled under the house, up in the  attic,  I  helped
him  restore old cars, and I kicked butt in wood shop.  Therefore
I am pretty knowledgeable about these areas.  Just the other  day
my  car broke at the carwash.  The men that worked there preceded
to tell me that it was my battery, when I had just gotten  a  new
one,  and  that the wires that were mysteryously hanging from the
paneling had nothing to do with it.  They  insisted  that  I  was
wrong because there was no way that the loose wires had something
to do with my car not starting.  To make a long story short, they
were wrong and I was right.

#6. I feel I am treated unfairly by the opposite sex  when  I  am
walking  down  the street, for example, and men call out to me to
get my attention and they usually say things that are disgusting.
It just shows me that these men are looking at me like a piece of
meat.

#6. While involved with an individual,  we  mixed  business  with
pleasure.  As I was getting to know him better, I quickly learned
that he suffered from emotional  closure  because  he  would  not
share   his  feelings  with  me  regarding  various  issues  that
concerned us.  At the same time he must have perceived me to be a
mind  reader.  I  was supposed to automatically know how he felt.
There came to be many  misunderstandings  from  both  of  us  and
somehow he still directed the blame in my direction.

#6. There are a few instances that I can think of in which I have
been  treated unfairly by the opposite sex.  One comes to mind in
particular.  I was involved in a traveling singing ensemble  this
summer  in  which  we  had  to  lift  and  carry  extremely heavy
equipment  everywhere  we  performed.   The  guys  in  the  group
automatically assumed that I couldn't carry the equipment because
I was a girl and would always take  over  when  I  came  time  to
transport  it.   I knew that I was just as capable of some of the
guys to lift the equipment, however it was just asssumed  that  I
was unable to do so because of my gender.

#6. When it comes to being treated unfairly by the opposite  sex,
I would have to mention sports.  When I play sports, I don't want
to be treated like a "girl." Some men make it a  point  to  be  a
little  less  intimidating  when  it comes to playing sports with
girls.  I like to play basketball  and  I  consider  myself  very
athletic.   I  don't  "play like a girl" and I don't mind playing
tough with guys.  Some men that I play with  automatically  think
that, because I'm a girl, I don't play the sport too well or that
I  don't  understand  what  they're  doing.   It's  totally   the
opposite.   Although  I'm  a  little  shorter than them and I'm a
girl, that doesn't mean I can't play like them.  It's unfair  for
men to assume that girls are  too "girly" to play some sports.

#6. I don't think that I have ever been treated unfairly  by  the
opposite  sex.   There  have  been times when men have offered to
carry heavier things for me, but I appreciate that, and don't see
that as them looking down at me.

#6. Double standard. It's always okay for them to do it  but  not
okay  for  us.  It  would be okay for him to get drunk and go out
partying but not okay for me to...   #6.  Two  weeks  ago  I  was
putting air in the tires of my car and this guy came up to me and
asked if he could help.  In itself that was not a bad  thing  but
when  I  said that I could do it myself he responded with, "oh, I
didn't think you knew how."  "Now if I had needed  help  I  would
have asked for it," I responded.

#6. I do not think that I have ever really been treated  unfairly
by the opposite sex.  I guess the only thing that really comes to
mind is that as I was growing up, if you did better than  any  of
the  boys  they  would say that you were cheating.  They couldn't
believe that you could do better than them.

#6. For three years I worked at a catering company, caring trays,
stacking  chairs,  moving tables, and serving people.  Basically,
doing the same job as all the  men  working  their.   However,  I
found  out  that  because  I  was  a  woman and had less physical
strength I was paid less than all the men.  I spoke to my manager
and soon afterwards was given a raise by him to meet the same pay
rate as all the male workers.

#6. This guy named Jaime at work totally insulted me when we were
having  a  conversation.  He  put down everything that I said and
made me feel stupid. He used phrases like "You would see it  that
way  cause  you  are  a chick." Another time I went to a sporting
goods store to buy a pair of roller blades. I picked out  a  pair
of  hockey  skates  and the sales guy looked at me and said " You
know that these are for hockey." I looked at him and said  "Yeah,
I know." And he looked at me like I was crazy.


--------------------------------------------------------------

QUESTION #7. Can you think of any instances  in  which  you  have
been  treated  particularly  well  by  the  opposite  sex, simply
because  of  your  (or  their)  gender?  If  so,  give  a   brief
description of what happened.

#7. When my male boss hired me for my current  job  (hostess  and
desk  help  at  a market researching company) I had absolutely no
problem acquiring a position and was pretty much employed on  the
spot.  When I attempted to get a friend of mine a job at the same
facility, doing the same work as  myself,  (who  happened  to  be
male)  I  was  told  that  "in  general  it  has  been  my bosses
experience that women do a much more thorough job in terms of  my
position  and  that my male friend was probably not going to work
out".

#7. There have been instances that I can  remember  when  I  have
gotten  a discount on something or things for free from guys, and
I believe that if I were I guy they would not have done that.

#7. Yes, Even though I mentioned thatwhen it  comes  time  for  a
woman's  mentrual  cycle, women need more affection and so forth,
but sometimes guys are insensitive to that. The  sweet  thing  is
that  guys  will  go  out  to take the time to buy the neccessary
items for that time of the month. It's just sweet to think that a
guy would do that by himself. It really shows he cares.

#7. The only think I could think of is that because I was  female
one  guy  in particular would have me call him when I got home at
night to make sure I got home ok.

#7. Most of the men that I know have a certain sense  of  respect
for  women  in general.  Frequently my male friends will offer to
do things for me that they would not have offered if I was a man.
Everything  from washing my car to helping me with moving things.
Now that it has been happening for so long I do not think that  I
am being treated particularly well, it is becoming something that
I expect.  Maybe I expect too much.

#7. I was in a performance where I had a partner whom I had never
met.   Anywhere I went he made sure I was safe and protected.  We
went down  escalators,  and  he  went  before  me.   We  went  up
escalators, and he went after me. I was particularly impressed by
this because in our culture, a man must always put himself  below
the woman.  In the case of the escalator, I was always physically
above him.  He made sure  I  was  understanding  the  performance
well, and that I had no questions.  He treated me like I was on a
pedestal.  As if he was truly proud to be with me.

#7. There have been a few, yet one sticks out.  Some  girlfriends
and  I  were  driving  to  the  beach (in our bikini tops) when a
police officer pulled me over.  I was doing  60  mph  in  35  mph
zone. He asked where we were going in such a rush.  I have an out
of state license plate so I told him I was lost.  He asked  if  I
wanted to follow him to the beach so I could find my way and even
after I said no he let me off telling me to have a good time.

#7. I cannot think of any instances that I have been particularly
well treated by the opposite sex.

#7. There have been many instances in which I have  been  treated
better  by  the opposite sex, because I was a girl.  Most of them
take place here at school, guys stand at the door waiting with it
open  so  it  didn't  seem like they were closing the door on me.
I've had guys get out of their seat so I could sit  and  even  go
ahead  of them in line so I didn't have to wait.  It's nice to be
treated like that.

#7. Again, there are so many instances where  women  are  treated
particularly  well  strictly  because  they  are female. Guys are
willing to do anything for women it seems like.  I  know  that  I
abuse this fact, but I almost feel that I can get anything I want
when I am in a situation with a male.  For  instance,  at  a  gas
station, even if you didn't request full service, the gas station
attendants will help you with  anything  and  everything  whereas
they won't help a guy unless he pays or asks.

#7. There have been many times when men have opened doors, pulled
out  chairs,  etc.   Once I was at a restaurant with all guys and
the waiter kept refering to me as "the lady".  I  think  this  is
just out of basic respect.

#7. There have been  several  instances  in  which  I  have  been
treated really well by men because I am a woman.  The most recent
was at the Diamond Rio concert this summer. My best friend and  I
got  dressed up and went to the Orange County Fair to see Diamond
Rio.  We were dressed all cutesy because we  just  came  for  the
concert while most of the crowd was dressed super casually.  They
played two shows, one at seven and the second at nine.   For  the
first  show,  we  sat  just  to the left of the stage on a grassy
patch because there were no good seats left.   One  of  the  band
members  and several crew members kept watching us throughout the
concert.  We were hoping we would get  invited  backstage  so  we
decided  to  sit in the same place since we had made our presence
known.  While we were waiting for the second show to begin one of
the  security guards who had been watching called me over to him.
When I walked up to him he just handed me two VIP tickets to  sit
in the area right in front of the stage.  Once we sat down one of
the crew members called me over to him.  He then  handed  me  two
Diamond  Rio  guitar picks.   We sat two feet away from the stage
the whole concert!

#7. I appreciate it how guys generally open the door for me  when
coming  into  a building. I personally think it shows respect and
that they care. I had one instance where I was  coming  down  the
hallway  and it was going to take me a while to get there but the
guy still held the door open for me.  This  meant  a  lot  to  me
because he took the time to wait even though he did not know me.

#7. The only thing that I can think of is the fact that nice guys
will  hold  the  door  open for you even if you do or do not know
them.  They probably would not do that for a guy, or  a  guy  who
gives up his seat so that a women can sit down.

#7. I feel I am  treated  well  because  of  my  gender  when  my
date/boyfriend  pulls  out  my  chair  for me, pays for me, opens
doors for me, etc...

#7. N/A

#7. In many instances, I  have  been  treated  particularly  well
because of my gender.  I find that most of the guys I come across
are very respectful of me and treat me with  that  same  respect.
They open doors for me, pull out my chair, and try to cater to my
needs.  I don't see this as them thinking less of me or that I am
inadequate.  I view this behavior as them thinking more of me and
the fact that they respect me.

#7. When I'm out with my boyfriend  and  his  male  friends  they
totally  treat  me with respect.  One time, when we decided to go
to dinner, they acted very considerately.  They made sure that  I
sat  in  the  front seat of the car, open doors for me, we polite
with me, and had me order first from the menu.  I was shocked  to
see  this  for  the  first  time since, from what I had believed,
boyfriends tend to be different when they are around  their  male
friends.   I don't think my boyfriend falls into this category at
all.  I find myself lucky because of that.

#7. I can remember an instance where I was at a club  and  a  guy
offered to pay for me to get in.  I didn't know him and he didn't
know me, but I did get out of paying ten dollars.

#7. At clubs. Girls would get in free sometimes...

#7. There are not many months that go by in which I can't name an
instance  that  I wasn't treated better my a male because I was a
women.  Last month my family was remodeling the bathroom.  I  was
designated  to  buy  all  the material and pick out the tile.  My
sister and I went to Homebase to try to find  the  items  on  the
list,  needless to say we had five guys helping us out.  From the
moment we first asked for help until they  loaded  our  car  they
were by our sides.

#7. I think that most of the time (if you're  well  dressed)  you
can  get  your way.  One time I was let into a club without my ID
just because the doorman thought that I was cute.

#7. This year when I was moving into my apartment, I  was  caring
many  heavy  thing  up and down the stairs by myself and two guys
offered to help me carry a few things.  Most likely if I  were  a
guy  they  would  have just walked by me without offering to help
out. Personally I was strong  enough  to  carry  all  the  things
myself, but did not mind the extra help.

#7. When I was buying a new pair of  shoes  at  Foot  LQcker  the
sales guy was flirting with me and smiling at me. He told me that
I was cute and asked if my shoe size was 7.


---------------------------------------------------------------------

QUESTION  #8.   Describe an instance, or instances, when you have
been rejected by someone of the opposite sex  to  whom  you  were
attracted.    How  did  they  reject  you?   Was  their  behavior
inconsiderate, rude or insensitive?  How did it  make  you  feel?
How might they have done it in a more considerate way?

#8. One instance when I have been  rejected  by  someone  of  the
opposite  sex was most certainly an unfair and hurtful one. I had
known the person well for some time when  the  both  of  us  were
dealing  with my romantic feelings for him and how to handle them
since he wasn't interested in a relationship and was perhaps  not
interested  in one with me in particular. This person was able to
sense that I was having a difficult time continuing to be friends
with  him  while  carrying such feelings for him so his brilliant
solution was to treat me poorly, pick fights,  and  anger  me  in
order  to  make  me  dislike him as a person so that I would stop
being friends  with  him  and  I  would  get  over  how  I  felt.
Nevermindthe  fact that he actually wasn't happy about losing our
friendship at all but he  apparently  didn't  know  how  else  to
handle  the situation and thought that hurting me sounded best at
the time. The fact that he did this to me  caused  me  to  become
completely  disillusioned with who he was for quite a while and I
couldn't understand why he couldn't have just sat  down  with  me
and  discussed  rationally,  like  adults, how to handle what was
bothering me instead of doing what he did

#8. I cannot think of an instance when  I  was  rejected  by  the
opposite sex.

#8. In a particular incident in where I was very attracted  to  a
guy  because  not  only  was  he an attractive man but the way he
treated me showed many signs that he liked me or was attrated  to
me.   However,  that  was not the case. He liked me very much but
not in that way, and even though it was a dissapointment,  I  did
not feel rejected because he still like me and wanted to hang out
with me, which shows that he wanted to be my friend' and who  can
reject a cute friendship.

#8. The guy I was talking about in question  #1  rejected  me.  I
felt  were  stupid  I  hated guys for a very long time after that
instance. I thought this guy was so nice and perfect  and  sweet.
And when he did that to me I was very disappointed with guys.

#8. I was trying to be playful with a guy I liked in high  school
and  I  stuck my foot out in front of him when he walked past me.
He knew me already and we had went out a couple of  times.   That
day  he  happened  to  be  walking  with one of this friends that
didn't like me.  So when he saw my foot he stepped  over  it  and
just  looked  at  me  like  I was stupid.  He then made some rude
comment to his friend,  something  that  they  both  thought  was
funny.  He was very rude and insensitive.  He made me feel really
stupid and small.  If he didn't want to talk to me he could  have
told me instead of showing off in front of his friends.

#8. I had a large crush on a man for a long time.  I always tried
to  put  myself  where he was and  I called him when I thought he
was home.  I tried to get his friends to put in a good  word  for
me  and  to tell him I was available. However, he never responded
to my actions.  But he did it in a nice way.   He  made  sure  he
treated  me  like  a friend and never more than that.  He did not
take advantage of me or he made me feel like he disliked me as  a
person.  He was nice, but not in the way I had hoped for.  He put
me down gently, and never made me feel stupid for liking him.   I
respect him to this day.

#8. I cannot think of an instance because I have really  made  no
effort  in putting myself in a position where I could be rejected
by a guy.  Yet I have seen a friend ask a guy out and he told her
she  was  nasty  and  to  get  away from him. Even though she had
treated him badly in the past he should have  told  her  that  he
just didn't want to go out with her.

#8. When I was rejected by a man, he was very sensitive about it.
He  used  to stop in and visit, but after a while he just stopped
coming around.  He was never rude or insensitive.  We still  talk
today, but I just realize that he is not attracted to me.  I felt
like a jackass for a little while, but, whacha' gonna'  do??   If
he isn't attracted to me, then I guess it was not meant to be.

#8. One instance that stands out in my mind  happened  this  past
summer,  I  had  gotten  really  drunk  and this guy had shown so
interest in me, but when I went up to him he backed off because I
was  drunk.   At  first  I  was upset because I was rejected, but
later, I realized it was probably better, and actually  I  became
more  attracted  to him because he had respected me enough not to
take advantage of me when I was so vulnerable.

#8. Being rejected by anybody, whether they be male or female, is
never  pleasant.  A few years ago my boyfriend wanted to break up
with me, and instead of confronting me, he basically just stopped
talking to me. I think that he was very immature in that way, and
that he should have not been so  "6th  grade-ish"  about  it  and
simply confronted me. It would have still hurt, but it could have
at least been a civil interaction.

#8. I have never  been  flat  out  rejected  by  someone  of  the
opposite sex.  However, I have been attracted to someone and then
found out that they were not attracted to  me.   I  felt  like  I
wasn't  good  enough for the person.  It made me question certain
things about myself. After a while though, I realized  it  wasn't
something that was wrong with me.

#8. I was rejected by the person in #1 in a  particularly  unique
way.   Spring  semester  we  actually attempted to be friends but
then a couple weeks after school began he tried to kiss me again.
I  told him "no" because I didn't want to ruin our friendship and
of course he said it wouldn't.  We began to see  each  other  off
and on all semester but nothing was real consistent.  After every
hook up he could never look me in the eye or talk to me.   During
the  summer  he called all three of my roommates but never called
me  even  after  I  told  him  I  understood  he  didn't  want  a
relationship  and neither did I.  He came back to LMU for a visit
and purposely didn't answer the phone when he thought it was  me.
Just  a couple of days ago he called my telephone line and when I
answered the phone he asked for one of my roommates without  even
acknowledging  me  or saying "hi".  Then later at a party, he sat
behind  me  for  about  half  an  hour  and  never  said  hi   or
acknowledged  me.   Two days later at convo hour, he stood 4 feet
away from me and couldn't even look in my direction.  I think his
behavior is completely rude and unnecessary.  We have many mutual
friends so I think he should at least try to make  the  situation
not  so awkward and uncomfortable.  Plus, I hadn't even attempted
to contact him in anyway so I think he could have  been  friendly
at  the very least.  I wasn't pursuing him so I don't think there
was reason for such rejection.  I took it very personally as if I
had  done  something  wrong  which  I  hadn't.  #8.  I  was  in a
relationship for two years a while ago when my   boyfriend  broke
up  with  me  via e-mail because supposedly I would not listen to
him. This is the worst form of rejection I had had in my life.  I
still have not forgiven him for that even though I remain friends
with him. His behavior was really inconsiderate and insensitive.

#8.  one time I was rejected by lack of  communication.   It  was
kind  of like they were slowly trying to reject me.  his behavior
was  inconsiderate  and  rude  because  since  we  werent  really
talking,  I  didnt  know  what  was happening.  I would have much
rather been told why things were ending than to be left to  guess
why  instead.   Communication is too important to leave out so he
could have been more considerate by talking to me about  whatever
was happening.

#8. Because of the fact that I have never attempted to get a  guy
unless  I  know  that he likes me, too, I can honestly say that I
have never been rejected.

#8. A man has rejected me because he was faithful to his  partner
at  the  current time.  I felt that I was turned down in a polite
and respectable manner.

#8. I can remember one particular instance in highschool  when  I
had  a  crush on a guy that was completely "out of my league".  I
remember liking him for a very long time but he wouldn't give  me
the  time  of  day.  I thought that everything he did was perfect
and that he was just "the one".  He found out that  I  liked  him
and  thought  the  whole  thing was funny.  I remember seeing him
pointing at me and laughing  about  it  with  his  friends.  Even
though  this  example might sound like an immature instance, that
feeling has stuck with me, and I can still clearly remember how I
felt when I knew that he was making fun of my feelings.  That was
the worst part!

#8. My experience with rejection happened my junior year of  high
school.   I  had  been  asked  to the junior prom by this guy who
didn't really want to go with.  From what I was told  from  other
people,  he had a big crush on me, and I didn't want him to think
that  my  agreeing  to  be  his  prom  date  would  lead   to   a
relationship.   So, I rejected his invitation having another prom
date in mind.  The guy who I wanted to go to the prom with was  a
year younger than I was, and I was confident that he would accept
my invitation.  Coincidentally, my  potential  date  was  friends
with  the guy that I had rejected.  Well, I still don't know what
really happened, but it ended up I was rejected by the guy who  I
wanted  to  go  with.   I believe that the two had spoken to each
other and decided that he shouldn't go to the prom at  all.   The
excuse  that  he told me was that he had planned to go to another
prom and was already planning to spend his money  on  that.   His
behavior  was  pretty  respectful  and  he seemed to be genuinely
sorry for being unable to attend my prom.  I  wasn't  too  upset,
but  I  still  couldn't  help  but think that he was rejecting me
because he was influenced by the guy I had rejected.

#8. I remember that I had gone out with a guy I worked with a few
times,  but  then  he  stopped  calling  and  all of a sudden  he
started going out with another girl that worked with us.  I  feel
that  he was both rude and insensitive, because he didn't made me
feel that I had done something wrong.  All he would of had to do,
was  tell  me that he wasn't interested and I could have accepted
it but the fact that he just brushed me off made  it  a  horrible
situation.

#8. I never have really put myself out there.

#8. Good old rejection.  Yes, I have felt that sting.  I remember
calling  someone two, three times a day and I received absolutely
no response.  When I finally got in contact with them, he said he
had  to  cut his hair at 10:30 p.m.  Insensitive yes.  It made me
more angry than upset that it was over.   I  couldn't  comprehend
why  this person could be honest with me, even if it was over the
phone.  Four or so months had no meaning at this  point,  I  felt
betrayed by someone I thought I could trust.  He should have said
something. Women are not going to break.

#8. I have always been rejected by  the  opposite  sex.   I  have
never actually asked anyone out or anything.  It was always after
the fact that they started talking to me for a couple  of  months
and  realized  that  I was not ready to sleep with them that they
decided to reject me.  They were never really rude about it  just
a bit insensitive.  They either had cheated on me, kept me on the
side as emotional support or they  would  just  tell  me  how  it
wouldn't work out because I was "too good for them."   I was very
hurt because I thought that they actually liked and  cared  about
me.   After they had done either of those things I began to carry
a complex of hatred towards all men because they had  all  pretty
much done the same thing to me at the end.  They had hurt me just
because I didn't want to sleep with them. At the time,  I  didn't
think  that  was  the  issue.   I  just  thought  that  there was
something wrong with me.  That I was not good enough for any  man
because I had been rejected so many times- one after the other.

#8. I was going out with this guy for about a month and all of  a
sudden he stopped calling me and would not return any of my phone
calls.  a week later I ran into him  with  another  girl  and  he
totally  ignored me.  I was crushed and could not understand what
had happened.  His behavior was very insensitive and made me feel
as  though  I had done something wrong.  A more considerate way I
would have done it was to call him and explain that he no  longer
wanted  to  see  me  for  whatever  reason  instead of having him
constantly wondering what had gone wrong.

#8. This guy that I really was attracted to who simply avoided me
after  we  kissed.  After  that he started to cause trouble in my
residence hall. He behaved very badly and  broke  several  rules.
Which  put  me in an awkward situation because I was the building
RA. I told him that I needed to talk to him  and  he  just  never
bothered  to  show  up  to  talk to me. l couldn't believe it. He
could have simply talked to me and said that he didn't like me He
did not have to be a jerk, or cause so much trouble.



----------------------------------------------------------------------

Imagine that you have known someone of the opposite sex for about
a month.  You have dated this person several times,  but  so  far
there  hasn't  been any kind of physical intimacy (holding hands,
kissing, etc.) between the two of you. Now, you are out on a date
with this person again.

How would you try  to  influence  this  person  in  each  of  the
following circumstances:

QUESTION #9. Situation 1: The date has been going very  well  and
you feel very physically attracted to this person.  How would you
influence this person to become physically intimate, and to go as
far sexually as you wanted to go?


#9. I would hint at it verbally and I  would  probably  be  quite
flirty  in  terms of being more physically affectionate to get my
point across, and if that method didn't  work  I  would  probably
make the first move if I felt comofortable enough.

#9. If I was physically attracted to a guy that I was  seeing,  I
don't  think  that  it would be difficult to get him to go as far
sexually as I'd want to go because I think that generally, a  guy
will  go  as far as you'll let him go. For some guy, something as
simple as my hand on this thigh might get him excited  and  ready
to go.

#9. Situation l: I would probably look at him in a  certain  way,
become affectionate, talk about other things that are relevant to
intimacy, etc.

#9. I might hold his hand or hug him. Just act  very  flirty  and
get very close to his hoping he would get the hint.

#9. I would get closer to him.  I might even touch him  casually,
like  on  the  shoulder  or  back  to  let  him  know  that  I am
comfortable with touching him  and  with  him  touching  me.   If
things  were  getting to my limit I would back away from him.  Or
start talking about something to ease out of the situation.

#9. I would definitely try to use body language and body contact.
I would touch his arm, or cross my leg toward him.  I would stare
at him longingly, or even flirt with him.  If nothing  worked,  I
would figure he was afraid to make the first move, and tell him I
would not mind if he kissed me.

#9. During the date I  would  try  to  be  as  close  to  him  as
physically possible and before we go home I would try to kiss him
unless I was getting bad signs while trying to be close  to  him.
However,  if  I was dating him for a month and he hadn't tried to
kiss me I would probably think there was something wrong with our
relationship.

#9. I would feel a  little  leery/hesitant  to  make  the  "first
move."   I  would just try to "go with the flow," and have a good
time, at that particular time, regardless of the  outcome.  I  am
not some kind of a sex Fein, so I feel like I can control myself.
If something physical happens, all the better, but if not, it  is
probably  because there is some problem between the two of us.  I
would not want a relationship held together on the mere basis  of
physical attraction/intimacy.

#9. I would prefer to try to persuade my date physically,  seduce
him,  rather  than  confront  him verbally.  I would initiate the
physical touch, by slipping my hand in his and then if we went to
dinner,  I  would keep eye contact with him and smirk a little to
kind of hint to him what I'm thinking about.  If it were possible
to  dance  I would definitely suggest a dance, then I would dance
really close, so he could think of nothing but being with me.  If
he catches my drift, then when he took me home I would invite him
in, and give him a peck in the lips, and maybe tell him what  I'm
willing  to  do  with him, and hopefully he'll be able to take it
from there.

#9. I believe in being very honest  with  people,  and  it  never
scares  me  (at least with guys). I would just tell the guy how I
felt and then ask him how he felt. I know that it takes  some  of
the  romance or magic away, but I would just need to know, and in
the long-run I believe that it would make the whole  relationship
easier.   This  way,  all  questions of emotions are avoided, and
everything is much more clear. There is no guessing involved.

#9. If I wanted to become physically intimate with this person, I
would  definitly  start to use body language to let them know.  I
would look into their eyes and smile.  I would towards them  when
I  was  speaking  or listening to them.  I would also be calm.  I
would talk about things that we had talked about before  so  that
he  would  know  I  had  listened to what he had to say.  I would
flirt!  Flirting is very important.  It keeps things fun yet lets
the  person know you are interested.  Touching is also important.
Not for long periods of  time  though.  I  might  brush  my  hand
against his or gently pat him on the back.  If he wants to become
physical, I will openly give him the chance.

#9. I would be a little flirty when talking and maybe drop subtle
hints  by  touching  his  arm  or  accidentally  brushing my hand
against his.  But that's as far as I would go.  He would have  to
make the first move.

#9. I found this question hard to answer because I  generally  do
not  like  to  initiate first moves. If the guy does not initiate
something first then most likely nothing will happen.  I  do  not
feel comfortable being the first to initiate this kind of action.
It is not in my nature.

#9. I would drop subtle hints in order to try and  let  him  know
that  it was alright to become physically intimate.  If I thought
that he was interested too, but was doubting my feelings I  would
then  probably  just  act  on my feelings and innitiate the first
move.

#9. Being a woman it is not very common that I have to  influence
a  man to become physically intimate.  If I was in that situation
I would drop little hints that I wanted to get physical and if it
did not seem to be working, I would forget it.

#9. I would wait for the right opportunity to kiss  him.   If  he
responds  positively  to my gesture and the mood and chemistry is
right between us then we would see how far we should continue.

#9. Situation1.....  I would drop hints to him to  let  him  know
that  I  wanted more.  I would probably flirt with him a lot more
than usual.  I would put my charm to work in that  situation  and
play  off  of  his weak points to get him to become "puddy" in my
hands. I would also  establish  definite  eye  contact  with  him
because  my  eyes  say  a  lot  about  me. Situation 2..  My body
language gives me away all the time.  If we are driving in a car,
I would stare out the window or act uninterested in him.  I would
also drop hints about taking me home or just bluntly ask  him  to
take  me  home.   I'm  pretty straightfoward when it comes to the
point that I want out of a situation.  I would  tell  him  nicely
that I'm not interested.

#9. Flirting is always a good way to initiate intimacy.  I  would
respond  to  his  actions as well and try to read his actions and
his hints.  I would also try to drop hints as  to  what  I  would
like  to  do  with  him  and hope that he understands.  Sometimes
joking around works too.  I can think of one time when I asked  a
guy  to  hold  my  hand since we were at an intersection about to
cross the street, and I told him that I would feel  "safer"  that
way.   It's  all  a  game  that  men  and  women  play. There are
different  rules  for  everyone  and   different   couples   find
satisfaction in different ways.


#9. I think that eye contact is very important I would  also  try
to  make  as  much "accidental" physical contact as possible.  If
none of these hints work I would just try to make moves, like the
kiss goodnight.

#9. I probably wouldn't try anything too forward.  I  would  most
likely joke around with him. Maybe a little sarcasm...I'm not too
good at the first move deal. If we were watching a movie, I would
probably lean on his shoulder or cuddle with him.

#9. Easy you put your hand on their thigh.  Every time I do this,
I know.  I feel it in their reaction or lack of.  And always make
eye contact.  In contrast to physical touching the best thing  to
do  is  tell them.  Yes, be honest it works.  The one thing I try
to do is tell them face to face, you never know if on  the  other
side  of  the  phone  he's  laughing  just at you.  The saying "a
picture is worth a thousand word," applies very well here.

#9. I think I would just maybe sit  closer  to  that  person.   I
would  probably hold their hand and see how they would respond to
that.  I would maybe even kiss them on  the  cheek.   After  that
kiss  on  the  cheek I would try to see if he has picked up on my
innocent advances.  After those hints, I would hope that he would
make the next move.

#9. During the date I would try to have lots of eye  contact,  as
were  walking  try  to  brush my hand against his, and maybe even
squeeze his knee during dinner or  a  movie.   I  none  of  these
things  work  and  he has not made any sort of move by the end of
the evening I would go for it and give him a kiss  goodnight  and
see where that takes us.

#9. I would try kissing him on the cheek. Or asking him  personal
questions  about his sexual preferences. Usually then touching on
the arm works. Physical flirting like tickling is also  something
I do once in a while. Or I would take his ring or wallet from him
and not give it back.


----------------------------------------------------------------------

QUESTION #10. Situation 2:  The date has been going well, but you
do not feel particularly physically  attracted  by  this  person.
However,  you  can  tell  that this person is really turned on by
you.  Still, you know you're not interested in physical intimacy,
and/or  the  subsequent  involvement  or  commitment  that  might
follow. How would you influence this  person  to  avoid  becoming
sexual?

#10. I would be stand-offish, turn  away  anytime  he  was  being
physically  affectionate,  not  reciprocate  to  any  flirting or
comments, and probably try to come up with an excuse  as  to  why
the date had to end early.

#10. If I didn't feel physically attracted to someone that I  was
dating,  but he felt turned on by me, I think that I would try to
make sure that I wasn't sending any messages that would make  him
think  that  I  was  turned on by him too. I'd probably make sure
that there was little to no physical contact (anything that might
make him think, "she wants me").

#10.  Situation  2:  I  would  start  acting  very  immature  and
childish,  I would start treating him as if he were my brother. I
would also try avoid any conversation that was relevant.

#10. Do the opposite from #9. Keep my distance from him and  just
act very uninterested.

#10. I would talk about what a great friend he is and how I  like
our  relationship just the way it is.  I would avoid any physical
contact, like holding hands.

#10. I would bring up the issue of relationships and explain that
I  was  not  ready for anything serious.  Then I would explain my
philosophy of no kissing until there  is  a  distinct  commitment
between myself and the other person.  Hopefully, this would deter
my date.

#10. I would tell him that I just wanted to be friends, but in  a
more  gentle  explanation.  (I would say I like his company but I
don't feel attracted to him in the same way he feels toward me).

#10. I think it is  easier  to  avoid,  rather  than  engage  in,
physical  intimacy.   I feel like a jerk when something like this
occurs, but I would rather go on the date rather  than  flat  out
reject  the  guy.   I could affirm that person in ways other than
physical intimacy, which would hopefully be  more  beneficial  in
the long run anyway.

#10. If I didn't what to become  physical  with  this  person,  I
would probably close myself off to him, by both body language and
conversation.  I wouldn't flirt, maybe look around the room  when
he  talked  and  seem uninterested in him.  I would cross my arms
and seem withdrawn. If I were really turned off by  him  I  would
probably be extremely rude and bitchy and hope he losses interest
in me.

#10. In this situation I would act  very  "buddy-buddy-like"  and
avoid  any flirtatious behavior.  If he persisted I would have to
simply and politely explain that I like him very much as a friend
but just don't see him "that way."

#10. In order to avoid becoming physically intimate, I would keep
my  distance without being rude.  I would act as if I am out with
a friend.  If I knew that they were possibly trying  to  hold  my
hand  or kiss me, I would avoid the physical connection.  I would
also be the one to end the date, saying that I had  something  to
do early the next day.  If I end the date, I obviously don't want
to be with this person long enough to become intimate.

#10. I would say little things  that  implied  I  didn't  want  a
relationship right now or how great it was that we could hang out
and not have to worry about anything physical between us.

#10. I would try not to go anywhere  alone  with  the  person  so
nothing  possible would happen. If he insisted on going somewhere
alone, then I would be straightforward and tell him that I wanted
to only be friends if I did not like him.

#10. In this situation I would probably once  again  dropo  hints
that  I  was not interested and that I liked him as a friend.  Or
else I would talk about other guys and keep my distance from  him
towards  the  end  of the date so that he would hopefully get the
message.

#10. I would tell him straight-up that  I  do  not  want  to  get
physical and when or if I ever do want to get physically intimate
I will let him know.

#10. I would not allow any physical contact at all.  I would  not
allow  for  hand  holding  because  that  can be interpreted as a
sexual invite.  At the end of the date I would not  allow  for  a
hug or a kiss, just a simple thanks and goodbye.

#10. I would try to avoid any type of physical closeness to  this
person  if I was not attracted to them.  I would keep my distance
and make it obvious that I don't want  this  relationship  to  go
further  than being "just friends."  If he drops hints that he is
interested in me, I would not react to these hints and try  being
blunt  about my feelings toward him.  Some men are persistent and
won't give up until they convince you that you can like him,  and
other  men respect your thoughts and will back off once they know
you're not interested.

SENTENCE COMPLETION:

#10. I would try to make as little contact with him as  possible.
If he persisted I would have to tell him that I wasn't interested
in a physical relationship.

#10. If he were to reach out and give me a hug, I wouldn't really
'hug'  him  back.  Just  little  signs  here and there that would
hopefully convey how I feel.  I know it's bad, but I  don't  like
to  flat  out  say  to someone that I don't like him. But then it
could get bad and ugly because if he doesn't get the message  the
I get annoyed and start acting different around him. I'm a mess!

#10. Let them know.  From  the  moment  that  you  start  feeling
awkward  about  the  situation.   If you already know you are not
interested don't let them hug you and hold you just  because  you
feel  bad.   That will not help the situation.  Also look at your
own body language, are you giving out the wrong message.

#10.  I would probably say how great he is to hang  around  with.
I  would  probably try to be honest and forward without trying to
be insensitive.  I would probably mention that I was not ready to
take  the  next step with them in the relationship because I have
realized that I do not want to take it to the next level.

#10. Any time we have eye contact I would turn my head, move away
if  he  tried  to  touch me, and if he still persisted I would be
honest with him and let him know I am not  interested  in  having
any sort of sexual relationship with him.

#10. To turn a guy off I would stop paying attention  to  him  so
much, and put so physical distance between us. Taking an interest
in things that he doesn't  like  also  works.  And  if  he  still
doesn't get the hint, I burp.


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SENTENCE COMPLETION

For each  of  the  following  sentence  fragments,  complete  the
sentence,  and, if you wish, add a few more sentences to complete
your  thought.   Do  not  include  the  sentence  stem  in   your
response--only your answer to it.

QUESTION #11.  In general, it seems that the opposite sex  has  a
tendency to become "insanely" jealous when...


#11. women go out alone with other men or  are  emtionally  close
with other men

#11. ...you have a good friend that's of the opposite sex or they
think that you looked at another guy.

#11. Other guys look at me.

#11. An ex-boyfriend calls and wants to hangout or  even  if  you
just talk to them.

#11. Other guys show and interest in their dates/girlfriends.

#11. the sense of ownership of their possessions is violated.  If
a man's girlfriend is talking to another man, then the person may
feel his girlfriend is being lost to another.

#11. I smile at or spend a lot of time with a guy.

#11. something makes them mad??

#11. The women they are involved with or even just interested  in
flirts  with  others  guys.   Actually they don't even have to be
flirting, just talking and showing  interest  to  any  other  guy
other than himself.

#11. ... women talk to other guys  or  they  feel  threatened  by
another guy in their partner's lives.

#11. their girlfriend goes out with random  guys  all  the  time.
Not  just  friends,  but people who she has met when she goes out
without him.  Also if a guy's girlfriend is flirty with his  good
friends.

#11. a woman close to them pays more attention or seems to  value
another male more than him.

#11. When they see you talking to other guys and are paying  more
attention to them.

#11. when your best friend is a guy.

#11. ...I even  talk  about  another  guy  or  when  another  guy
approaches  me,  or  when  I  talk to another guy (friend) on the
phone, anything that has to do with

another guy that he does not know.

#11. ...They feel that they are confronted with competition  from
the same sex.

#11.  -I have fun with other guys.

#11.  ...when a women points out a  characteristic  that  another
man  may  have  and  he does not.  This usually includes personal
appearance (i.e., nice body, eyes, smile...etc.)

#11. I talk to another person of the opposite sex.  The fact that
I  shouldn't  have  guy friends, infuriates me.  I can have a guy
who is just a friend!

#11. ...their girlfriend goes out to a party or  bar.  They  also
don't like ex- boyfriends at all!

#11.  They  think  someone  else  could  be  a  threat   to   the
relationship.

#11. When another man checks you out.

#11. whenever I talk to any other person of the opposite sex.  It
is  okay  for  me to have girls as friends but not guys.  This is
because he is a guy and therefore says that he knows that no  guy
can  just  be  friends with a girl without wanting something more
out of the relationship.  I  however,  completely  disagree  with
this.

#11 . You have  a  close  friend  of  the  opposite  sex  who  is
physically attractive.


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QUESTION #12.  When it comes  to  initiating  sexuality  for  the
first time, the opposite sex...


#12. is most probably the one to do it (men in my case)

#12. ...is more concerned with what they want, then with what the
female wants.

#12. Likes to wait until I initiate

#12. Is ready to initiate it at any time.

#12. is usually too aggressive and expects too much too fast.

#12. is moderately assertive, according to the situation.   If  a
man  yearns to be with someone who seems shy about her sexuality,
then a man is usually the initiator.  However, sometimes it takes
a womans first move to get things moving in a sexual relationship
if a man is apprehensive.

#12. Should know what a woman wants.

#12. usually becomes very "touchy-feely" and  focuses  all  their
attention on you.

#12. Usually initiates the situation, sometimes they kind of test
the waters with just a kiss and see what the girl's reaction is.

#12.  ... does not seem to be too afraid to initiate  "the  first
move" and even to go further.

#12. is ready to go!

#12. should initiate it.  Women should never  initiate  sexuality
for the first time.

#12. They look at you and are more touchy feely with you.

#12. usually takes charge, but if not then its up to the women to
handle it.

#12. ...always wants it too soon and they act like they  are  not
pushing but they really are.

#12. They are very clear as to what they want to do with me.

#12.  -is often very shy about it.

#12.  ...seems to be the more dominant initiator.

#12. tends to move at a faster pace.

#12. ...is all for it!

#12. Is very aggressive

#12. Is the first to do proceed.

#12. usually moves very quickly and  never  understands  why  the
female is unwilling to have sex with him right away.

#12. Can be too forward.


---------------------------------------------------------

QUESTION #13.  The opposite sex seems clueless about...

#13. how important it is to talk and be open with others

#13. ...what and when to say something to a woman.

#13. When I want to become intimate

#13. What women really want relationship wise and sexually.

#13. girls emotional states and what type of mood we are in.

#13. a woman's intuition and emotions.

#13. Women's fantasies.

#13. ?--  some  men  are  clueless  about  thinking  about  other
people's  feelings,  but  there  are women who are clueless about
that also.

#13. Everything involving women.

#13.  ... how they see themselves vs. how the  world  sees  them;
they are very arrogant when others don't necessarily view them as
being the gods that they think they are.

#13. how to attract a woman on an emotional or intellectual level
before a sexual level.

#13. what women really want.

#13. When they have to deal with a situation because they seem to
find it hard to open up and talk about things.

#13.  why the little things matter to women.

#13. ...women's emotional needs!

#13. The fact that women are not mind readers.

#13.  -women in general.

#13.  ...topics that concern a  woman's  physical  nature  (i.e.,
menstrual cycle, PMS).

#13. knowing what a women excepts from them.

#13. ...our feelings and needs. Sometimes I think that  they  are
honestly  clueless  about  anything  and  everything.  But then I
wonder if it's really cluelessness or just a cover...

#13. The simple things in life.

#13. You're feelings and emotions.

#13. everything!  Just kidding.  about understanding  that  every
woman  is different and that he must change his strategy for each
individual one.  Just because one liked to have her  door  opened
does  not  mean  the  other one will.  Women all like and dislike
different things.

#13. How to behave in public.

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QUESTION  #14.   Being  romantic  is  something that the opposite
sex...

#14. is just as capable of and can do just  as  well  as  my  sex
(female)

#14. ...has a hard time with. Some guys can be very good at being
romantic, but others really have to think hard about it.

#14. Does not want to do or be all the time so that when it  does
happen, it's extra special in every way.

#14. Can only do if they try. Most guys are not very romantic  at
all.  They  don't  understand  that  being  romantic is more than
flowers and candy.

#14. has a hard time  understanding.   They  don't  know  how  to
continue romance after the first few dates.

#14.  should  participate  in  occasionally.    A   woman   feels
appreciated and sexy if a man is romantic once and a while.

#14. Obtain as they get older.

#14. is good at.

#14. Needs to learn about. And realize that being romantic  gains
them a lot of points with women.

#14.  ... can be very good at if he cares about the woman enough.

#14. possibly does in the beginning  of  courtship,  but  doesn't
realize  that  it  is  important throughout the relationship.  It
keeps things from getting old.  A girl doesn't need  romance  all
the time, but every once in a while a romantic surprise is nice.

#14. does when it suits their ultimate goal and/or  will  benefit
them in some way.

#14. tend to be good at if they are sensitive. It is always  nice
when  a  guy  remembers  an  anniversary  or  shows you they care
randomly with small gifts such as flowers or cards.

#14.  does not do enough.

#14. ...would rather do without. Men tend to like to get right to
the  point  and  are only romantic for the women's sake but would
rather skip the romance.

#14. Can do very well in each man's unique way.

#14.  -is good at in the beginning.

#14.  ...takes for granted sometimes usually  ignoring  the  fact
that  women love it.  Relationships most often go bad because the
romance is weak, usually because the male won't agree to it.

#14. has a great potential for.

#14. ...has the ability to do and can  do  it  really  well,  but
doesn't  necessarily show us all the time. This doesn't mean that
we want romance every single day, but more that once  a  week  or
even once a month wouldn't hurt.  I think that they begin to take
advantage of the 'comfortable' way of things and forget about the
sparkle  and  spice  that  you  have to feed into a good, growing
relationship.


#14. Usually has no clue about.

#14. Knows little about.

#14. finds silly and uncomfortable.  they  usually  try  to  hide
from  romantic situations or just joke around during them because
they do not know how to open up their feels  in  those  types  of
situations.

#14. Needs more practice at being sincere about.


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QUESTION  #15.   Sometimes  it  seems  that the opposite sex puts
their  boyfriend/girlfriend  through  a  series  of  relationship
"tests" by...


#15. playing hard to get and seeing how far it is that  she  will
go to date him and how long she is willing to wait around.

#15. ...doing or saying things and then seeing  if/what  kind  of
response  they  get.  It's  like  they  want to see if what their
boyfriend/girlfriend  would  do  in  a   certain   situation   is
acceptable or not.

#15. Asking who their favorite actor  is  or  she  finds  someone
particularly  attractive,  or  by  asking the " what would you do
if?"

#15. Seeing how they would answer their questions. For example if
they ask questions to test if they are jealous.

#15. by breaking commitments and bringing up prior relationships.

#15. putting women in awkward situations.  For example, if a  man
asks  a  woman  to  choose  between her family and him, the woman
feels tested.  She would feel that she needs  to  compromise  her
relationships  to  keep  one.   Either way, a woman would lose. A
woman should not be tested in that manner.

#15. Repeatedly bringing her in front of his family for approval.

#15. taking their significant other to meet their parents.   This
seems to be the true test.

#15.  Bringing them out with their friends and  seeing  how  they
interact  with them, also introducing them to their family, which
is a big step in the relationship, it's almost  like  initiation.
Sometimes  they  will try to test them, by recounting a situation
and seeing how the other person would respond to it, or bring  up
certain  issues that are important to them and see what the other
person's views are.

#15.  ... asking them about hypothetical situations to  see  what
they would do.

#15. acting  as  if  they  don't  care  in  the  beginning  of  a
relationship.  A guy will be totally into a girl and not call her
for a week.  The girl misunderstands this and  thinks  that  they
guy may not be interested.

#15. seeing how much they can get away with.

#15.  seeing  if  they  remember  the  little  things   such   as
anniversaries and other important dates or showing that they care
continuously.

#15. seeing if they will make the extra effort to see them.  They
may  also  determine where they go on their dates and the answers
to certain questions.

#15. ...trying to make their mate jealous.

#15. Bringing the new girlfriend around his close friends to  see
the  way in which she interacts with the friends and also for the
friends to judge her.

#15.  -testing her trust.

#15.  ...checking to see if he looks at other girls while walking
through  a  mall, making him spend some time with her siblings to
see  if  they  get  along,  meeting  the  parents,  testing   his
compatibility  with  her best friend, or doing something that the
girl enjoys (i.e., watching a soap opera).

#15. playing mind games with each other - like not calling  right
away.

#15. ...playing mind games. It's usually because there had been a
lack  of  trust somewhere. Both sexes do it, but I haven't really
noticed how guys do it.  Girls are always thinking  and  plotting
on  how  they  can  trap  their boyfriend at whatever they aren't
trusting him about.

#15. Trying to see if you call first.

#15. Trying to get you jealous.


#15. playing ridiculous min games with each other.  Such  as  not
calling right away, but waiting a week.

#15. Making them choose between the  things  they  like  and  the
things their partner likes.


----------