PSYC 310 HOMEWORK INSTRUCTIONS Due date: Thursday (Worth 3 points). YOUR NAME: _________________________________ Read the attached comments about the opposite sex written by the males in this class (or by males in other sections of this course). Note: Responses of all males in Psyc 310 are not included, Also, because of the small number of responses, these have been added to the male comments from previous classes. Answer the following questions (your answers need not be typed-- you can write on this sheet if you wish). Indicate the page number and area of the page where the comment can be found (e.g., column 1 or 2; top, middle or bottom of the column). You will discuss your reactions in small groups during the next class session. Which of the written comments made by the males: 1. ...was written so well or eloquently, or addressed such a personal issue, that it evoked a sincere sense empathy in you? 2. ...disturbed and/or upset you, and why? 3. ...honestly revealed something about male perceptions, feelings or thoughts that you suspect that they generally might be very reluctant to admit to if their comments were not anonymous. 4. ...seemed to be a particularly good example of one of the robust gender differences predicted by evolutionary psychology. 5. ...that you found, in general, surprising and/or particularly interesting. ----------------------------------------------- QUESTION #1. Think about the previous interactions you have had with the opposite sex. Has a situation ever occurred with someone of opposite sex that you found deeply puzzling and/or incomprehensible? And which you also think is somehow a function of that person's gender (not just the specific individual involved)? If so, think about what happened, and the behaviors, cognitions, motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you found particularly puzzling. #1. My feeling about this is that I cannot come up with any incident or event in my dealings with the opposite sex, in which I found their actions puzzling or incomprehensible as a product of their sex. I have just generally found the actions of the human race as puzzling without linking it to whether or not they are female or male. Though I do believe that there are characteristics that may be generalized to gender as a whole, these characteristics are not puzzling or incomprehensible to me. #1 There was this girl that I liked. We have gone out before, but not officially dating. Nearly everything we did was platonic. However, I liked her very much and was physically attracted her. She had told me it was the same for her. She told me she saw a relationship in our futures together, but she had a boyfriend at the time. She did not like her boyfriend that much, but she stayed in the relationship for a while because it was easy to continue being it for her and him. I could not understand how a woman could say she likes someone, but would not do everything she could to have a good relationship with that man. #1. There is one certain situation that comes to mind which I found deeply puzzling. When a girl is upset or crying and a guy asks "whats wrong?" and the girl says "nothing" obviously something is wrong. Males tend to just brush it off and think "oh nothing is wrong then" but in reality something must be wrong if the female is crying. When a male looks upset a girl will continually ask him what is wrong or how she can help and in time he will probably tell her what is wrong. But males don't understand this I believe because of a lack of communication. I simply do not understand how a guy can just think that nothing is wrong when in actuality something is wrong. #1. My feeling about this is that I cannot come up with any incident or event in my dealings with the opposite sex, in which I found their actions puzzling or incomprehensible as a product of their sex. I have just generally found the actions of the human race as puzzling without linking it to whether or not they are female or male. Though I do believe that there are characteristics that may be generalized to gender as a whole, these characteristics are not puzzling or incomprehensible to me. #1 One thing that confuses me about the opposite sex is the way females feel the need to do things in groups. If they're at a restaurant they always have to go to the bathroom in groups. I have even seen some females wait until the other females have to go before they go. I am not sure if this female characteristic is just copied from others or they actually really feel the need to go in groups. I have a feeling they do it because they see many other female do it. #1 In dating a girl, she seemed to hold back her feelings until I first revealed mine. She would not tell me she loved me, even though she admitted to me later that she felt that way long before it became known to me. She would hold back on asking to hanging out with me, in fear she would scare me away with her "neediness." I have often noticed this behavior with several girls, and I can't help but contribute it to their insecurity. I don't want to say that all males would be willing to admit their feelings right off the bat, but these instances were in a relationship that had been ongoing for many months. I felt comfortable enough to share my feelings with her at that point, and I just wish she would have shared hers with me more openly. #1. Once I was extremely attracted to a girl who may or may not have had similar feeling for me. She never made reference to her own feelings sexually, but her body language and mannerisms led me to believe that she was at least interested in me somewhat. But she had a boyfriend, so I had to respect her wishes for me to table my advances towards her. Some months later she broke up with her boyfriend and we began to spend more time together. But while it was still clear that she had some kind of feelings for me she never let them out into the open. We would be physical with each other, moreso than "friendship" neccesitates, but our intimacy never entered a relationship arena. I found this excrutiatingly puzzling. I would have understood this if it had been clear that she was not attracted to me, but the subtext of our relationship seemed to speak otherwise. #1 One time my boyfriend and I were driving around trying to find our way home from the beach. We had just been going out for a couple of months at the time and this was our first big adventure. The day at the beach was really fun and so we packed up our stuff and headed home. Well my boyfriend and I got lost. We tried to find the quickest way home other than the freeway, and got lost in Santa Monica. I saw a gas station and told my boyfriend to "pull into the gas station and ask for directions," and to this day I still remember his response of "I don't need directions I can find my way back!" I turned and looked at him and realized he had just become a total guy in my mind. He didn't stop and ask for directions, it took us two hours to get home, a normally 35 minute drive, and after that we always stopped to ask for directions. To this day I still don't know why he didn't ask for directions, I know I would have. I think after talking with him and other guys about the situation, the reason why he didn't want stop and ask for directions was because he wanted to prove his manliness by finding his way home. I think that men have this desire to be the provider and protector in a relationship and when a certain situation arises, men get upset, flustered and raise their voices. #1 There have been situations I have experienced in which interactions with the opposite sex have been very ambiguous or puzzling. This interaction, I believe, could have only been explained by a difference in gender. Perhaps the most puzzling aspect I have found of the opposite sex is the "mind games" that they like to play. Maybe they aren't mind games; maybe it is just that girls function on some other level. But maybe girls get a kick out of fooling with a guy and tricking him. Getting him to show some emotion and then toying with him. I am not sure how it works. For instance in dating I think that a guy is so much more straight forward and to the point. Whereas a girl's motives are hidden and can only be discovered through investigation. Does she like you? Does she just want to be your friend? Does she not even like you at all? #1. In a relationship I was in, I had a girlfriend who was particularly fond of me. However, we were growing apart and I was almost ready to end it. She could see this was coming and as a last ditch effort from letting this happen, she told me that she was pregnant. I was completely shocked and puzzled. Later, I found out this was not true and it blew me away. I think she thought that by saying that, she could hold onto me. It is not too different than other mind games that I have often been the victim of in relationships with females. This was just the most extreme form it had taken. However, all it did was throw me into a whirlwind of emotion, which, upon finding out the truth, solidified my mind that I wanted nothing to do with her. --------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #2. In general, what do you like about the opposite sex? What do you dislike? #2. There are several things that I like about the opposite sex. The one thing I like the most is the way that they don't take things personally. I believe that is a big downfall for girls. Another thing that I enjoy and what I think makes me attracted the most is the way that they are risk takers. Guys are willing to go anywhere and try anything which makes them look sexy. The biggest thing that I don't like about guys is the way that they don't know how to express their emotions. A girl could sit there and tell a guy how much she cares about him or how much she likes him and a guy would just say "I like you too". They need to be more expressive which I know can be hard for them but if you are such risk takers, take a risk and express what you are thinking. #2. In my particular case, I've found that the female species is much easier to talk to. They are more willing to participate in a conversation that may deal with personal or intellectual issues. I dislike the female race for their unreliability. In my personal experience, I've found that my female companions do not follow through with everything that they promise. #2 The five things I came up with that I like about women is their sensitivity towards other people's feelings around them, their ability to love and fall in love and the strength of their love, their beauty and grace about them, how they can compliment the overly machoness of all guys, and how they can motivate men to do great things. The things I don't like are their severe mood swings, their overly touchiness, how you cannot win an argument with them, they worry more than men do about silly things, they have trouble getting along with other women they feel threatened by. #2 I like a female's caring mentality. I feel that women are much more attentive, perceptive, and affectionate than men. I enjoy hearing her true feelings and thoughts. I like how women are much more thoughtful in their interactions with others than men are. I do not like their irrationality. Women jump to conclusions, and begin to think too much with their emotions than with their heads. I do not like the drama that can occur from the smallest event in a woman's life. Girls interacting with one another can make the simple topic of what one is wearing seem to be the end of the world. I hate when a girl is insecure. Not to say that men aren't insecure at times as well, but not nearly as much as women. Women put way too much stress on what others think, feel, or say. #2. I like that females are emotionally perceptive. They can pick up on certain moods that I am in, without me having to say it. I like that they are also affectionate and thoughtful. And honestly, I of course like the beauty of the female body. I dislike when females are irrational and think emotionally rather than mentally at times. I also dislike the drama that seems to follow females, and their often insecurity. #2. In my particular case, I've found that the female species is much easier to talk to. They are more willing to participate in a conversation that may deal with personal or intellectual issues. I dislike the female race for their unreliability. In my personal experience, I've found that my female companions do not follow through with everything that they promise. #2 I dislike how long it takes females to get ready. I also dislike how worried they are about what everyone else is thinking. They blow everything out of proportion. They need to realize the world doesn't watch them that closely and just relax. I do like how soft and smooth females are. And I usually really like how they smell. Most of the time they are sympathetic and good listeners. In general they make me feel good about things. #2. In general I truly appreciate the inherent sensitivity of the "gentler" sex. They are always more ready to listen to problems or concerns and they are usually better at phrasing constructive criticism. They always have a distinct girly smell that seems to make everything in the room that much more pleasing. Like a kind of King Midas curse, everything they touch smells better. Thats why, as a guy, its good to get a girl to walk around your room at least once day, if only for nasal purposes. What I dont appreciate girls is their unreadable qualities (see #1). I understand that leaving something to mystery in relationships is sexy, but if elaborate mindgames become all that is constant in a romance than the important parts of it are left to guesswork. And, speaking as a male, we are definitely the worse guessers of the 2 genders. #2 The thing that I like most about guys is there ability to make a bad situation better in a short amount of time. No matter if it is a boyfriend or just a friend, when ever I am having a bad day or something is not going my way. My guy friends are able to make it all seem better by the time the conversation is over. The girls that I hang out with seem to commiserate with me and dwell even deeper on the bad situation than the boys do. It is so nice to talk with guys about a bad day because their outlook is so different that it makes something that you thought was so huge, not seem so big at all. The thing that I dislike about guys the most is that they seem to at first decide who they want to talk to by the way a girl looks and not what she thinks or does. It is hard to find a guy that is mature enough to be attracted to a girl through her thoughts and words rather than her immediate looks. I think impatience to get to know woman, as a person is what I truly dislike about guys just because it is so judgmental and shallow. #2. In general, I like that girls are very beautiful, soft, thoughtful, and caring. You can tell a girl anything and she will listen. Girls are a perfect compliment to guys. I dont like the fact that girls play so many mind games and they hold sexual control over a guys head. A girl will say things like, Do this, or your not getting any tonight. I hate that. #2 I like how girls look. I think that girls are very beautiful. Maybe it isn't that girls are more beautiful then guys but it is easier for them to look nice. In general I like how girls smell as well. Maybe that is more of a quality of the perfume they are wearing then their actual odor. I particularly like how easy it is to talk to girls about things. Anything. Girls are good listeners and they really care about what you are saying or at least pretend to care. Girls show their feelings more and are more emotional creatures. It seems to be easier to have an intimate relationship with a girl. I think it is because we don't judge members of the opposite sex as much as we do members of our own sex. What I dislike about members of the opposite sex is first off when it comes to dating there are always hidden motives as I have explained before in question one. --------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTIION #3. What is the one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about your own sex? #3. I believe that the female sex sometimes misunderstands that one male may not speak for the entire race of men. They may believe that one man, particularly in the case of a unintelligent or egotistical male, is representative of all men. They may also believe that all men are pigs and that they are incredibly stupid. #3 I think women most misunderstand how important guy stuff is i.e. sporting games, hanging out with guy friends, being vulgar, and checking out girls to keeping our sanity. These things are OK as long as your actions stay moral and descent. #3. The one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about women is the way they feel. Guys need to consider girls emotions before they go and do something or say something. Sometimes they have the tendency to just think about one thing (sex) while girls are thinking about the relationship or the bigger picture. #3. I believe that the female sex sometimes misunderstands that one male may not speak for the entire race of men. They may believe that one man, particularly in the case of a unintelligent or egotistical male, is representative of all men. They may also believe that all men are pigs and that they are incredibly stupid. #4 The most attractive thing to me in a girl is her confidence level. I also like a girl her can show her independence. One instance I can think of is dancing with this one girl. We would be dancing together, and no matter what song was playing, fast or slow, whenever I pushed her out to spin, she would slow down and do the turn at her own pace. Even though it often got us off the rhythm of the song, and the speed at which we were dancing, it showed me that she did things at her own pace. It wasn't insulting to me that she didn't follow my lead, but rather sexy as hell that she would take control and slow things down the way she wanted. That showed her to me to be both confident and independent. No neediness there. #4. I am definitely attracted to females that are free thinkers and not afraid to say what they are actually thinking. Physical appearance is big but not everything. I need someone I can actually talk to and who can carry a good conversation. #3 Females most misunderstand the way we think. They try to play games and mess with our heads when all they are doing is looking stupid. They are too irrational! #3. Females dont understand the males ability to be physical and yet unemotional with intimacy. A male can very easily be physical with a girl hes attracted to and yet not romantically interested in. Yet most females cannot engage in sexual activities with a male without experiencing some kind of emotional pang for him. A classic example is the girl who cant understand why her partner wont call her the next morning. A girl always thinks she can change a guy. What she doesnt understand is that the male mindset is not only stubborn but biologically predisposed to be such as well. #3 I think the one thing that the guys most misunderstand about women is that women really do get tired and sad and grumpy and a little crazy with out it being "that time of the month". I get so frustrated when I hear guys saying that their girlfriends are annoying and troublesome and then blame it on their physical state. Sometimes I wonder if guys just don't hear what there significant other or friend is saying just because it takes away from their ego and don't want to have to be reminded of an imperfection in themselves. I think it is also demeaning to the women in their lives to just chalk up their frustrations to a physical state, and not really listen to what they are saying. Sometimes the most important things women say to men, men just don't hear truly, only because they are too self-indulged. #3. I think the opposite sex thinks that men are just muscle bound idiots that love sports and being rowdy. The fact is that most guys are very smart and like soft music, cooking, and have many other feminine traits. Ive seen plenty of girls more masculine than most men. #3 One thing that girls misunderstand about guys is that they aren't just about sex. We talk about it a lot and we definitely do enjoy it but that isn't what we are all about. Guys value relationships just as much as girls do. At least most guys do. Guys care about their girlfriends just as much as girls care about their boyfriends if not more. They usually just don't show it as much. Their feelings are more hidden but they are definitely there. --------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #4. Think about a time when you found yourself particularly attracted to someone of the opposite sex. What characteristics of that person do you think attracted you? What was the most important factor that attracted you to this person, e.g., physical appearance, personality traits, self-confidence, social status, friendly gestures toward you, etc.? #4. The characteristics of females that have attracted me is hard to put into words. For one thing, there are many females that exhibit a feminine aura. This is contributed to the way they walk, the way they talk, and their facial expressions. When a woman smiles, and I can't help but smile back, I find that incredibly attractive. I would say physical appearance is a large contributor to my attraction, but personality and intelligence also play a large part. Without the latter two, physical appearance can mean nothing at all. #4 Of course the physical attractiveness of a person matters a lot, but there are other very important characteristics as well. How a woman looks at me or talks to me can make them more attractive. If they compliment me or make me feel good, I will most likely remember that person and feel some attraction to them. #4. The certain characteristics that attract me the most are: sense of humor, independent, strong-willed, attractive, and the way he is with his family and friends. The most important factor is the way he treats me. A girl can usually tell if a guy is going to treat her well or not by the way he is towards her when they first meet. #4. The characteristics of females that have attracted me is hard to put into words. For one thing, there are many females that exhibit a feminine aura. This is contributed to the way they walk, the way they talk, and their facial expressions. When a woman smiles, and I can't help but smile back, I find that incredibly attractive. I would say physical appearance is a large contributor to my attraction, but personality and intelligence also play a large part. Without the latter two, physical appearance can mean nothing at all. #4 At first when I saw this girl I was instantly attracted. The first I saw was her face and I was very impressed. She was beautiful! Then as I fully looked her over I was hooked. But, what really kept me interested was her personality. She was really interested in me and gave me a lot of attention. I am still with this girl today. #4. Once I was extraordinarily attracted to a girl who had a certain look about her. We all have small fashion fetishes that we carry with us and arent necessarily conscious of. This girl matched nearly all of the specifications I had in my mind. She was also a quirky personality and unlike anyone I had ever met. I think I was attracted to the fact that she didnt seem hindered by the statutues of society. She never conformed to a norm or stereotype. It must have been her free-spiritedness that hit me the hardest. She was by no means the most physically attractive person Id ever met but thanks to her quirks she was far and away the most intriguing person Id ever known. #4 I think I was attracted to his self-confidence, ideas, openness to talk and share things of his life and of mine, and just his personality in general. It was nice to get to know him and feel like you didn't have to worry about making conversation and that you would never run out of things to talk about. The most important factor that made me attracted to him was his self-confidence and ability to make conversation. I love to talk and get to know someone, so when I find someone who has the same qualities that I have I find them very attractive. I also think that is really rare to find a guy who can be that self-assured and open so that makes the ones you find more appealing as well. #4. When I first met my girlfriend, the first thing that attracted me to her was her beautiful face. That is the first thing I look at, the face. Then she had a very nice body which is the second thing I look at. Though, if a girl does not have a good personality than she becomes less attractive to me. I need a girl to be fun, wild, unpredictable. Though, she does need to be beautiful. #4 For me the first attraction is almost always physical. Physical traits like a nice body, pretty face, hair, etc.. But for me to have a true attraction I have to be attracted to some of their personality traits. I think I am attracted to girls that are nice and friendly, funny, and are outgoing and not afraid to share their feelings. These things along with other personality traits are also essential for me to be truly attracted to a girl. #4 The most attractive thing to me in a girl is her confidence level. I also like a girl her can show her independence. One instance I can think of is dancing with this one girl. We would be dancing together, and no matter what song was playing, fast or slow, whenever I pushed her out to spin, she would slow down and do the turn at her own pace. Even though it often got us off the rhythm of the song, and the speed at which we were dancing, it showed me that she did things at her own pace. It wasn't insulting to me that she didn't follow my lead, but rather sexy as hell that she would take control and slow things down the way she wanted. That showed her to me to be both confident and independent. No neediness there. #4. I am definitely attracted to females that are free thinkers and not afraid to say what they are actually thinking. Physical appearance is big but not everything. I need someone I can actually talk to and who can carry a good conversation. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #5. In your opinion, what are the strengths and weaknesses of the opposite sex? #5. I believe that females' strength is their ability to exhibit care and empathy for many other people. This makes them much more approachable and much easier to talk to. I believe females' weakness is that tend to be unwilling to see themselves as equal to other men. Though this weakness can be attributed to societal pressures, many women assert their equalities and strength, but when it comes down to some things, they resort back to the stereotypes of the "weaker" sex. #5 Very similar to my likes and dislikes, I find the strengths of women to be their caring, affectionate ways. As much as it may confuse me, the way they consider everyone's feelings makes them much closer friends to have. Women prove to be much more supportive in difficult times as well. The weaknesses again are their insecurities. Just as they think about everyone's feelings, they also seem to put too much emphasis on others thoughts. If a negative comment is made on her physical appearance, women often take it way too serious and personnel. #5. Some strengths of females include the following: They are typically friendly, compassionate, loving, and resourceful. Some weaknesses are that they can be over dramatic, too needy, and read too much into things. #5 The strengths of women are but not limited to their patience with children and overall patience, their size and strength and love of loved ones, and their desire to nurture relationships and people. Some of the weaknesses include a the large amount of women with low self esteem, their vulnerability to be easily attacked physically and emotionally, and their emotional unstability. #5. One strength of men is the way they don't take things personally. Another is the way they will try anything. Along those same lines is the way they will try anything to get a girl. The major weakness of men is that they cannot express their emotions. Another weakness is the way they have to be so competitive with other men #5. I believe that females' strength is their ability to exhibit care and empathy for many other people. This makes them much more approachable and much easier to talk to. I believe females' weakness is that tend to be unwilling to see themselves as equal to other men. Though this weakness can be attributed to societal pressures, many women assert their equalities and strength, but when it comes down to some things, they resort back to the stereotypes of the "weaker" sex. #5 Females are usually very sympathetic to problems. They will listen to you and generally not be too judgmental. They are usually pleasant to look at. Also, they make great companions and friends. They are not good at over coming obstacles. They give up too easy. They need to make more of an effort to over come their weaknesses. #5. The strength of females is that they are far less codependent than males. If in a relationship they can be their own person and use be an independent, sentient being. Males are far more likely to constantly be wanting attention from the girl, not to mention sexual favors. A girl can always use a sex embargo over a mans head while he can never do the same. Their weakness lies in their quickness to judge and mistrust their fellow woman. Men are trusting and genuine from the beginning whereas girls are suspicious and skeptical of those around them. They are far more likely to let their emotions get the better of them. #5 In my opinion, I think that a strong point in males is their ability to make a bad situation seem better. Where women will go over and over a problem and look at it from all different angles before settling on one outlook, a guy will just think about it, explain the situation, and deal with it and then it is over. It is nice when guys take decisive actions and then move on with out looking back. I think a weakness in guys is their selfishness. I think that before listening to what a woman has to say about them or their actions, they are quick to put off the criticism onto something else because they don't want to grow from the experience or think that they actually did something that was wrong. I think it is harder for guys to say they are sorry than for women. #5. The strengths of girls is that they are very strong willed. And most girls really stick by there morals which is a good thing. I also think men need women more than women need men because there are more men in the world. The main weakness of girls are that they are an emotional mess. They turn little problems into the biggest deals, then they cry about it. Girls are way to quick to cry, they are emotionally weak. #5 The strengths of women are that they are easy to talk to. They are very beautiful and have sexual power. I can always feel comfortable around girls and there seems to be a deeper level of intimacy. Some weaknesses are first off all of the drama that they have to cause. Every little thing seems to piss a girl off. It may be that they just need to make a big deal out of everything. They need to live dramatic lives. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #6. Can you think of any instances in which you have personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex? If so, give a brief description of what happened. #6. I can't say it's unfair that women reject me for my physical appearance, cause I treat them exactly the same way. I suppose that's generally the thing for which I am most treated and rejected for. #6 This one time I was really interested in this girl and we were talking on a regular basis. I asked her out and she said no because she had had a bad experience with another guy recently and refused to go out again until she got her confidence back in a man. I could not believe that I was being turned down because of the way another person treated her. #6. I have been treated unfairly at places that I have worked because of being a girl. I have seen men be promoted before me because the managers were men and they promoted men before me even though our work ethic was equal. Another instance where I was treated unfairly was because I play a mostly male dominated sport. When I go and play with men they don't think I will have the ability to play with them so I just play my best and usually beat them anyways so it all works out in the end. #6. I can't say it's unfair that women reject me for my physical appearance, cause I treat them exactly the same way. I suppose that's generally the thing for which I am most treated and rejected for. #6 I can think of several times when girls treated me as an insensitive male, thinking I just wouldn't understand whatever problem they are having. They seem to categorize all males as incapable of helping deal with emotional problems. True, I may not be the best man for the job, but I do try, and especially would try for a girl I care about, to be attentive and helpful in all situations. #6. I cannot really remember a time that I was treated unfairly by a member of the opposite sex. #6 I feel many females are very quick to just. When I first started high school I received a bad reputation from some girls. I made some comment about how bad our girl's basketball team was and the jumped all over me. They hated me for that. For a long time a lot of girls had a problem with me. I had to try very hard to live that one statement down. #6. I was once dumped by a girlfriend for being "too nice". She commented that she needed a guy who was more of an asshole to her sometimes. This gave me great pause seeing as women always comment on how big of jerks most guys are and this girl wanted me to be moreso. Upon hearing this comment from her over the phone I quickly hung up on her in mid- sentence. When she called me back, livid and wanting an explanation I told her that I had taken her comment as a suggestion to be a jerk. She dismissed this as having no bearing on what she was talking about. But I found her stance to be completely unfair as well as in utter defiance of everything ones mother teaches him when he is very young. #6 I think a time where I have been treated unfairly by the opposite sex was when a guy had to install a ink cartridge in my printer, because he said that I wouldn't know how to do it. That situation totally bothered me, because not only could I put the cartridge in, I wasn't given a chance to do and it was assumed that only a guy could do it and not a female because it was a technical machine, and I a girl, wouldn't know how to do it or figure it out. The next time the printer ran out of ink, I bought the ink, unwrapped the package, put it in the printer, ran the new cartridge sequence on the computer and then began printing, just to prove him how wrong he was. #6. When I was working at Albertsons, my manager was a woman, and she hated guys. The men at my work, me included where always given the hard jobs, while the girls did no work, and they where always getting promoted. I feel I was very unfairly treated. #6 One girl I think treated me unfairly when she lead me on to believe that she liked me and wanted a relationship when in reality she just wanted to be friends. But she never told me that and her actions lead me to think that she wanted more than a friendship. I liked her for a long time and I never quite knew where I stood in the relationship. I never could quite tell what she wanted even though it was quite obvious what I wanted. -------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #7. Can you think of any instances in which you have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex, simply because of your (or their) gender? If so, give a brief description of what happened. #7. I have been treated well, especially by female friends, when women realize that I have much more to offer than many other men particularly in terms of intelligence and personality. #7 I knew a girl once who seemed to like me, but not specifically in a physical way. However, she was always interested in what I had to say about my day or weekend and she would sit next to me and hug me and tell me she liked the way I smelled. I do no think she would be treating me like that if I were a girl. #7. I have been treated particularly well because of being a female also at work. I worked at a high-class restaurant only as a host but I think that I was hired over males just because of my gender. I think because the restaurant wanted to have a certain image or maybe they just really liked me. #7. I have been treated well, especially by female friends, when women realize that I have much more to offer than many other men particularly in terms of intelligence and personality. #7 I really can't think of a time. #7 I can only think of instances in which a girl is insecure and is searching for acceptance from a male to make her feel better about herself. Those are the types of girls that will do anything to feel accepted, and if they can get attention from guys, they think that makes them a better person. #7. Once I was treated extremely well by a girl insofar as there were romantic interludes. But part of me still believes it was due in part to the lack of other males in this environment. This was at a summer camp in which the amount of males of compromising ages was scarce. So this girl singled me out as a representation of maleness in the face of scarcity. It was fun to get as much attention as I did, but I just couldnt help thinking that her intention werent necessarily grounded in any great interest in me as a person. #7 A time where I have had special treatment because of my gender was when I went to get a taillight fixed at a gas station. The male attendant only asked me to pay four dollars to fix to taillight, and when my boyfriend went to get his taillight fixed that afternoon, just to see what they would do for a guy, the same guy who helped me was going to charge him fifteen dollars for the same problem. #7 Maybe there have been instances where I have been treated better when I was around girls if there weren't many other guys around. But other then that situation I can't really think of a very good example right now. --------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #8. Describe an instance, or instances, when you have been rejected by someone of the opposite sex to whom you were attracted. How did they reject you? Was their behavior inconsiderate, rude or insensitive? How did it make you feel? How might they have done it in a more considerate way? #8. When members of the opposite sex chose to reject me, they did it in a rather kind manner. Because I have generally approached a friend, they have generally put it in the nicest way possible. Though I was primarily hurt by the rejection, because I had never really set myself up for anything other than some fun, I got over it quickly. There is really no way in which they might have been able to reject me in a more considerate way. #8 I really wanted to go to a dance with this girl I knew and we were pretty good friends so I thought I had a pretty good chance. However, she already had a date to the event so I was turned down. She did it very well in terms of being polite and thankful for the proposal. The only problem with the situation was that she did not talk to me for a week or so after because she felt uncomfortable around me. #8 I can think of an instance in which the girl would simply ignore my calls. Of course her behavior was inconsiderate, rude, and insensitive, but to make the point that she was trying to get across, I think her behavior was relatively acceptable. It made me feel frustrated and confused. I suppose I could have used verbal confirmation that she in fact wanted nothing to do with me, as harsh as that might have been. Her point would have been made clear if she had simply given me more body language that she was not interested in me when we saw each other in person. Even though she did not return my calls, when we ran into each other every few days, she would still be extremely friendly and seemingly flirtatious with me. That was confusing. #8. I can remember several times that I was rejected by a female. It happens simply over a conversation. I will start a conversation or say hello and the female would just look away or not respond to anything I say. It would be a little more considerate simply to say that they were not in the mood or something along those lines. #8. Being rejected really sucks. It makes you feel like no one wants you or that something is wrong with you whether it be physically or mentally. I Have been rejected in different ways. There is the flat out rejection "You are not pretty. Why would I want you?" or there is just the "maybe if I ignore them they will just go away". Both have happened to me. I think if a guy is just not interested he could consider the girls feelings and just say "no I'm not really interested but you are cool we could be friends" or something like that. I have seen guys reject girls in front of their friends just to look macho or cool in front of the guys. This is very unattractive for any girl who might be watching the situation. #8. When members of the opposite sex chose to reject me, they did it in a rather kind manner. Because I have generally approached a friend, they have generally put it in the nicest way possible. Though I was primarily hurt by the rejection, because I had never really set myself up for anything other than some fun, I got over it quickly. There is really no way in which they might have been able to reject me in a more considerate way. #8 When I was in high school I had a crush on a certain girl. I thought she like me back also. I waited a few weeks before I asked her out. I decided to ask her to a dance. I was pretty positive she would say yes. When I finally asked her I found out she was already going with another guy. He had asked her out the day before. She was nice about it, but it really confused and hurt me. #9 First I would take her to a nice restaurant and give her a chance to get all fixed up and looking good. I would do my best to be funny and charming during the dinner. I would want her to feel very comfortable with me. After dinner I would take her somewhere romantic, like the beach or a scenic place. I would keep her warm and hold her. Then before she got too tired and relaxed I would take her back to my place. #8. I was once rejected by a girl that I was infatuated with for 2 reasons: Because I was too old for her and because she had heard some bad rumors about my past. Ill probably never know which one turned her off more but it wouldnt make a difference about how much it hurt me. Up to that point in my life I had never met anyone who I was as infatuated with as her. And the sting of rejection was made all the more painful when I thought that the sins of my past were coming back to haunt me all because of some juvenile incompetance. The way she rejected me wasnt so much inconsiderate as it was just very awkward. She basically stopped calling me and I had to coax a declaration of "rejection" from her to give myself peace of mind. Not a pleasant experience. #8 A time when someone of the opposite sex had rejected me was when a boyfriend decided that he didn't want to go out anymore. At first he tried to be sensitive and kind but then when I was not responding to his sensitivity and kindness in the way he would have liked, he got really defensive and mean. I think, in the end, he tried to be kind, but then got flustered because his plan wasn't working out the way he had hoped and it was too hard to be honest with me when I asked tough questions. I think that he could have stayed calm and have been honest when we were talking and not raised his voice and sarcasm. It would have made the whole conversation more pleasant and the friendship afterward easier to start. #8. I remember about four months ago, I was in Laughlin at a club. I had been staring at this girl all night. She was so beautiful and had a great body. I went up and asked her to dance. She did not even reply, she just walked over to this other girl and made out with her in front of me. If I am going to get rejected, that is the way I want to get rejected. #8 Their behavior was actually really too nice. Maybe it would have helped if they were in fact a little more rude. Although initially rude it would have been less inconsiderate in the long run. Because then I would have truly understood that she didn't like me and it would have given me the ability to get over her. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Imagine that you have known someone of the opposite sex for about a month. You have dated this person several times, but so far there hasn't been any kind of physical intimacy (holding hands, kissing, etc.) between the two of you. Now, you are out on a date with this person again. How would you try to influence this person in each of the following circumstances: QUESTION #9. Situation 1: The date has been going very well and you feel very physically attracted to this person. How would you influence this person to become physically intimate, and to go as far sexually as you wanted to go? #9 If anything was actually talked about I would probably use humor as a way to lighten the mood a little. But more likely, I would just make my move, making it clear what I wanted to do, but not forceful, giving her times to stop, pull away, or verbal object. If no objections were raised, I would proceed as far as I felt comfortable and appropriate. #9. I would be straight up with her and say that things have been going great and that at this point, I would want nothing more than to feel her lips against mine and be able to hold her without getting grief for it. And then proceed from there. It is a delicate situation because as a male, I really do not want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable. But after a month, I think I would have a pretty good idea of what my boundaries would be. #9. Assuming that I meant to take physical intimacy as far as I possibly could go, I would try to initiate it slowly and only when sure that the woman might actually be willing to go through with it. I would assure her that I was there with her all the way and would be looking for enjoyment for both of our sakes. I would generally touch her throughout the night particularly on the arm or hands. I might also add some alcohol though not enough to get her drunk and only to get us more relaxed. #9 If I were to try and go further with a date I was physically attracted to, I would try to set the mood with turning down the lights, lighting a candle, turning on some music, being alone with her and serving a drink. I would begin to compliment the things I like about her while lightly touching her hands, legs, and face. #9. If I wanted to become physically intimate with the person I would touch him as I talked to him. That is one for sure sign that a girl is interested if she touches you when she talks to you. If I was really interested and could tell he was too than I would tell him that or just be really gutsy and kiss him. Usually you can tell when someone is interested and so things can just flow better. #9. Assuming that I meant to take physical intimacy as far as I possibly could go, I would try to initiate it slowly and only when sure that the woman might actually be willing to go through with it. I would assure her that I was there with her all the way and would be looking for enjoyment for both of our sakes. I would generally touch her throughout the night particularly on the arm or hands. I might also add some alcohol though not enough to get her drunk and only to get us more relaxed. #9. I would certainly try my hardest to throw out blatant body language and subtle suggestions (though not too subtle). I would make comments about how attracted I was to that person and try to place myself in isolated environments with the person if possible (though not so much that I became creepy to my date). I might ask the person about their sexual experience to gauge how quickly our physical interaction should progress. I might also hold myself in such a way that I was at my most attractive (in my own mind anyway) in every situation. I wouldnt pretend to be something I wasnt, but lets just say I would more than likely flex if she touched my arm, its only appropriate. #9 To see if the guy was thinking along the same lines I was, I would bring up cute movies or kind of bump into him to see what his reactions would be. I would try doing the little things to see if we were both on the same level. Other than that I wouldn't do anything else to make the relationship go any further. I think that if there was suppose to be something between us there would be and something would just happen I wouldn't have to make it or force it to happen. It just would. #9. I would talk her into coming back to my apartment. I would dim the lights, turn on some romantic music, and bring out some champagne. There is no way that a girl that you have been dating for a month will turn you down for anything when in the perfect romantic setting. All I can say is it would be a long night. #9 First thing I would do would be to be very nice to her. Overally nice maybe. Then do things casual things like hold her hand or sit close to her. Little actions like these can tell a girl what you are looking for. Then you have to watch her response to these actions. If she looks uncomfortable this is usually a bad sign. But if she moves closer and looks comfortable then you are on the right track. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #10. Situation 2: The date has been going well, but you do not feel particularly physically attracted by this person. However, you can tell that this person is really turned on by you. Still, you know you're not interested in physical intimacy, and/or the subsequent involvement or commitment that might follow. How would you influence this person to avoid becoming sexual? #10. If I were to influence the person to be less sexual, however, I would refrain from touching her at all. I might just want to sit apart from her and refrain from doing anything that could in any way imply romance. I would also abstain from speaking of passionate issues or other such things. I would also have the final say in whether we had sex or not anyway, so it really ends in that. #10 If I did not want to do anything sexually with a girl, I would stay around a group of friends, talking about non-sexual and platonic subjects, and not looking at her very much. #10. If I was not interested I would probably be more standoffish or distant. I would make sure not to flirt with him but just talk to him in more of a friend way. If he did not get the clue than I would probably just tell him that I was not interested but that I like spending time with him in a friend way. #10. If I were to influence the person to be less sexual, however, I would refrain from touching her at all. I might just want to sit apart from her and refrain from doing anything that could in any way imply romance. I would also abstain from speaking of passionate issues or other such things. I would also have the final say in whether we had sex or not anyway, so it really ends in that. #10 Again, if anything was said out loud, I would try to use humor to lighten the mood. But probably I would just give her the appropriate body language to show I was uninterested. I would do my best to avoid getting into any situations that she might deem as a good time to "make her move." If anything actually happened, I would pull away to show her I was not interested in her "like that". Maybe I'd pull out that dreaded "Let's just be friends" line. #10. If I was not interested in any physical intimacy with the person I was going out with, I would be sure to say things like, "You are a really cool girl and I am glad that we have gotten to be friends," or I would bring up an ex-girlfriend and talk about how I have been really thinking a lot about her lately and I think there might still be something there. I would also keep my distance from any touching and be completely straight up with her if it came down to it. #10 I would start by keeping my distance from her. I wouldn't say anything to flattering to give her the wrong impression. If it got really bad I would pretend I was sick. #10. I would constantly stress my wishes for a meaningful friendship in the conversation. I might make an effort to not look particularly attractive or sexually appealing. I might make references to a person that Im "with" at the current time and my commitments to that person. If I knew that the person was only interested in someone who was experienced sexually I might feign inexperience. Conversely, if I knew that the other person wanted someone pure and inoccent I might stress my many sexual experiences. Its not good to gross someone out with too many details but desperate times call for desperate measures. #10 I would tell the guy that I wasn't interested in him the same way that he was in me. I know it sounds harsh but honestly and openness is what needs to happen in any type of relationship and I would hope that the guy would understand and still would want to be friends. It is hard to keep a relationship honest and open but it makes for a more stable and truer one in the end. #10. I would start acting distant. I would not seem interested in her conversation and I would try to end the date as quickly as possible. I would give her a good night kiss to satisfy a little of her urges, but I would never call her again. #10 This I think is pretty hard to do. If I girl really likes you it is pretty hard to tell her no. But again I think that it is the little things that tell her how you feel. How you handle the conversation is one sign. Another is the physical things; like how close you get to her. Whether you touch her hand, hug her etc.. ----------------------------------------------------------------- SENTENCE COMPLETION For each of the following sentence fragments, complete the sentence, and, if you wish, add a few more sentences to complete your thought. Do not include the sentence stem in your response--only your answer to it. QUESTION #11. In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when... #11. men appreciate the beauty of another woman. #11 I show any interest in another girl, and it does not have to be sexual. #11 innocently flirt with another girl. #11. they like me and I pay more attention to another woman. #11. his girlfriend gets a lot of attention from other guys. #11. men appreciate the beauty of another woman. #11 I dress to impress and flirt with other girls. #11. ...we talk about ex-girlfriends or recount sexual experiences. And I have no qualms with this because I belive that guys act the same way. No one wants to hear about it,we should all keep that in mind. #11. when another guy wants to be friends with you #11. I talk to other girls, even when there my friends. My girlfriend goes nuts. Though she does not get jealous when I look at other girls, she goes crazy if I talk to them. And if I touch another girl, no nookie for me. #11 an attractive guy is talking to another attractive girl. Regardless of whether he likes her or not or regardless of anything else ----------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #12. When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex... #12. generally is not the first person to initiate it. Instead, they may only give themselves up when the man gives the woman pressure to go ahead with it. #12 has most of the power, but does not always use it to their full advantage. #12 usually waits for me to make the first move. I wish they would make the move more often. #12. needs to know my intentions from the "getgo". #12. usually takes the initiative and shows the girl that he wants to kiss her or be with her. #12. generally is not the first person to initiate it. Instead, they may only give themselves up when the man gives the woman pressure to go ahead with it. #12 has to be persuaded most of the time. #12. ...may be timid or insecure, depending on how they were brought up to think of sexuality. Some may be extremely game for experimentation but this instance is very rare. #12 fumbles and gets all nervous #12. Is usually pretty aggressive. Usually the guy has to be sexually aggressive and initiate everything sexually. But most girls I go out with get pretty crazy when initiating sex. They try to just take control. Though I like being in control, I get pleasantly surprised by aggressive woman. #12 has a hard time initiating sexuality and expressing exactly what they want --------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #13. The opposite sex seems clueless about... #13. how hypocritical they are. Many women profess to liking one thing, and disliking some characteristics of men, but end up doing exactly what they professed to disliking. #13 how to drive. #13. how girls feel or how girls just are. #13. how hypocritical they are. Many women profess to liking one thing, and disliking some characteristics of men, but end up doing exactly what they professed to disliking. #13 anything mechanical. #13 the advantage of living a simple life, not worrying about what others think. #13. sports. #13. ...the mans biological need to release certain tensions even after very little physical activity. Granted their chemical makeup doesnt function the same way, but they just dont getit sometimes. #13 how to stay in a loving and growing relationship #13. Why guys like sports. Most girls just dont give sports a chance. Mostly every girl I know gets mad when guys turn on sports. Well, sports are a soap opera for men. But, women are clueless to why guys like sports. #13 understanding themselves and the motives behind their actions ------------------------------------------------------------------------ QUESTION #14. Being romantic is something that the opposite sex... #14. knows much more about than men. #14 puts a large amount of importance on. #14. sometimes understands but most of the time is clueless about. They usually don't know what being romantic is to a girl. #14. knows much more about than men. #14 that I love. #14. ...values very highly and is usually better at. #14 is good at when they want to #14. Is usually not that good at, but expect guys to be great at it. Women never initiate anything romantic, they expect tit to be the guys role to be romantic, and set up all the romantic scenarios. #14 understands fairly well but they seem to leave the romance up to the guy to take care of. #14 understandably expects, but perhaps too often. #14. loves to do, but doesn't always know the implications of it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #15. Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship "tests" by... #15. asking them hypothetical questions. #15 playing with their minds and expecting too much. #15. asking if they are attracted to other women, or if they "really want to be with me?" #15 doing something in order so see their partner's reaction to it to see if it is what he or she wanted them to do. #15. seeing how she reacts to comments that he makes. A big test that guys put girls through is the way the girl acts with the guy's friends. That's a big one. #15. asking them hypothetical questions. #15 by having hidden meanings in their questions. #15. ...asking a series of dead-end questions and grilling them about the mathematics of their romantic history (obviously this puts a damper on the answer to #11 but when mind games and tests come into the mix predictability flies right out the window). #15 asking, "hypothetically speaking" type questions #15. Having there friends hit on there partner. If they reject there friends advances, then you pass the test. But if not, you fail. #15 seeing if they remember important dates like birthday, anniversary. They also see how long it will take for the guy to call. They constantly test a guy to see if he really does care about her. --------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #16. The opposite sex seems to support equality for the sexes except when it comes to... #16. male and female roles in a relationship. #16 paying for the date. #16 physical tasks or dealing with high stress situations. #16. sports. I think that is the main thing that guys do not think girls can be equal at. #16. male and female roles in a relationship. #16 taking charge of a difficult situation. #16. ...the workplace. #16 situations where they have to give up the bragging rights to a girl #16. Anything. Girls never think that there equal and they are always complaining that there needs to be more women in the work force or more women in government. They complain about equality in everything. #16 rules about dating. Like how much older a partner can be or what is considered date rape ------------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex... #17. sometimes holds much too importantly. #17. gains from being insecure. #17 in general has much less of than males, but can still become nasty. #17 hates to say that they have, but in reality, they are very possessive. #17. sometimes holds much too importantly. #17 sometimes has. #17. ...excels at. #17 has to work on getting over #17. Performs to much of. Girls are so possessive. In relationships, with there personal items, and friendships. #17 has but I don't think that it is that big of a deal. I think that guys can get more possessive. ------------------------------------------------------------ QUESTION #18. When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite sex... #18. really knows a lot about it. Women seem to know exactly what to do about enhancing their physical appearance. #18. is freakin hott. That is why we are attracted to them. #18. really knows a lot about it. Women seem to know exactly what to do about enhancing their physical appearance. #18 has it all. #18 needs to know that sense of humor and confidence can make the less physically attractive girl sexy as hell, and snobbiness and rudeness can make the beauty queen repulsive. #18 spends billions of dollars a year on it, and yet is never satisfied. #18. ...has the deck stacked in their favor (as it were). #18 has to work on it #18. Really does not base relationships on too much physical attractiveness. Some girls want a buff, good looking guy. But most girls just want a nice sensitive guy. #18 is very attractive and does a very good job showing it --------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #19. Money and status is are things that the opposite sex... #19. may treasure as much as physical attractiveness. #19. are split about. Some guys are really into having money and spending money but then there are guys who could care less about having a nice car or taking a girl to a really nice restaurant. #19. may treasure as much as physical attractiveness. #19 often looks for in a man #19. ...knows you have, and the fact that you have them probably has a lot to do with why shes with you. Well, alright it COULD have a lot to do with why shes with you. #19 makes apart of their values and goals #19. Really puts as a high priority. Girls want a guy that is successful and makes a lot of money so they can be taken care of. #19 care about a lot I think a lot more then guys. Girls like to have a guy that can support them and they care about social status more then most guys do. Every girl wants to be popular #19 hopefully do not look for in a guy. They are just materials. #19 needs in order to feel secure. -------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #20. It hurts me most when the opposite sex... #20. rejects me without giving me a chance. #20. doesn't care about how I feel. Or when they don't understand me or what I am trying to say to them. Or when they don't tell you when something is wrong or bothering them. #20. rejects me without giving me a chance. #20 takes me for granted #20 accuses me of being insensitive on purpose. #20 won't give me a chance to get to know them. #20. ...forgets my name. #20 tries to hide the truth, women always know when someone is lying, especially men #20. Judges me on what other people say. I hate when girls will listen to what other people say about me, and believe its true without even knowing me. #20 doesn't want to talk to me or give me a chance to prove myself to them. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #21. I feel best about the opposite sex when... #21. they treat me for my individual and internal processes rather than my superficial qualities. #21. I can tell they really care about me because they do or say special things to me. The best is when a guy just comes out and says "I really like you" without you initiating it. The best words or complement a guy could say are "You look pretty tonight". #21. they treat me for my individual and internal processes rather than my superficial qualities. #21 they pay close attention to how I feel. #21 I am in a healthy relationship, and can interact with a girl on an honest, meaningful, and intellectual level. #21. ...they smile when they see me and run up to give me a hug. Whats more redeeming than that? #21 I feel like they are being open and honest with me #1. I was at a club with my friends and I was wearing a shirt with pictures of newspaper ads for call girls on it. The girls on the shirt are very beautiful and thats why I wear it. At the club a girl came up to me and called me a dick for wearing it. I was puzzled. Why would she be mad just because of the shirt I was wearing. I was only wearing it because I like beautiful girls, not to be offensive. She only got mad because she was a girl and I find that stupid and puzzling. #21. I have a problem and I can go over to my girlfriends house and tell her everything. Then we can cuddle all night. That is the best.