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QUESTION #1. Think about the previous interactions you have had with
the opposite sex.  
Has a situation ever occurred with someone of opposite sex that 
you found deeply puzzling and/or incomprehensible? 
And which you also think is somehow a function
of that person's gender (not just the specific individual involved)?  If so,  
think about what happened, and the behaviors, cognitions, 
motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you found 
particularly puzzling. 



I have often been puzzled when a man that I had nothing in common with 
would doggedly, no pun intended, pursue me. Even when I obviously was not 
interested, they would keep trying. When I asked my stepfather what the deal 
was with this. He said that most men don't care if you have something in 
common or not. They don't give it that much thought. Their hormones are in 
control, and they just want to have sex.  Another thing that puzzles me is 
the way men like to run around and cheat on their "significant other. " My 
neighbor, next door, has a beautiful girlfriend. Yet he was always coming on 
to me.  Eventually, he found a woman to supplement the sex he was having with 
his girlfriend. He said that he loves his girlfriend and that they have great 
sex together. When I asked him what would he do if she cheated on him, he 
said that he would kill her. 

#1. I've had the experience of dealing with someone who was 
emotionally immature and not good with his feelings. He 
puzzled me in the sense that he would say one thing and 
then do another. Basically his confusion over feelings gave 
me a puzzled perspective and offered an incomprehensible 
situation. I think his gender had something to do with his 
behavior because he seemed to be highly influenced by those 
around him such as other male friends. In my opinion, many 
times guys are especially prone to listen to male peers 
about girls although they have opinions opposite to peer 
opinions. The mixed emotions of the person I dealt with 
left me no choice but to leave the situation although I 
cared for the person. 

#1 Yes, I have had a situation occur with the opposite sex that I think has 
to do with his gender. I had been best friends with him for seven years. There 
had been a mutual agreement throughout our friendship that our friendship would 
remain platonic and we would not venture to anything beyond that to insure we 
would remain good friends. We were in high school at the time and because we had 
been friends for so long we wanted to go to Prom together to celebrate our last 
year of  being in school together. We had a wonderful evening together and 
nothing to my knowledge went wrong that night. The next day I called him. Up 
until that day we were used to talking on the phone at least 
once per day. I was deeply surprised when he did not want to talk to me. 
Thinking that maybe he had a bad day, I called the next day and left a message. 
Knowing that he always returned my messages ASAP, I was shocked and hurt when he 
did not that day, or the day after, or the day after that. He graduated from 
high school and went away to college still "ignoring me".  Almost a year later, 
I called him at college. I was so hurt and angry I burst out in tears. I told 
him either he chooses to remain my friend or tell me that 
our friendship was over. He drove down to my house the next day and we 
talked. But he never gave me an answer why he chose to ignore me for almost a 
year. But since that day, I am proud to call him one of my best friends. 
	What perplexed me about this situation was that he obviously had a 
reason why he changed his behaviors toward me. I pleaded with him, and most 
often his answering machine and asking why he was treating me so differently. He 
never gave me an answer. I think perhaps if the same situation happened and he 
was a female, he or rather "she" would have been more vocal with "her" feelings. 

#1 I was dating this guy for a while, but things just couldn't work out.  We had 
a lot of fun together, and a lot of passion, but it wasn't enough.  He has 
these moments when something is bothering or he just wanted to think on his 
own and not talk.  But they would come with out warning, and I would suddenly 
be thinking, did I do something?  He would go from being really friendly and 
cuddly to just shutting off and there would be this wall between us.  I 
started to pull away from him because I wouldn't want to feel like a bother 
to him.  Suddenly one day, he said that he wanted to talk to me and ask why I 
was ignoring him...where I just thought I was not wanted in his company.  He 
said that he just had some other stuff on his mind.  I said that was fine, 
and I completely understood, but I needed to be told at least something like, 
"I need to be alone right now."  and I need to know when it was alright to 
come back and be around him so that I would be welcomed and not be intruding 
on his privacy.  He said that he didn't think that I could handle the way he 
is...but now that I think about it, a lot of my guy friends are the same way.  
A lot of times my guy friends just want to be alone.  He just was so certain 
that he was the only one like this and that no one could handle him...we 
didn't work out...

#1	I have been in a committed relationship for a long period of time and 
at the beginning of our relationship I found it incomprehensible that my 
boyfriend had such a hard time communicating to me what was bothering him. 
Instead, he would simply withdraw within himself and expect me to read his mind. 
There were many awkward car drives home and many moments of uncomfortable 
silence on the phone. Eventually, he would break down and open up to me, but the 
aggravation of waiting for him to do so would drive any normal person insane!
	I believe his inability to communicate was definitely a function and a 
reflection of his gender. Men are often discouraged from discussing their 
intimate thoughts and feelings because they do not want to appear weak or 
vulnerable. Thus, his ineffective communication skills resulted in enhanced 
complications when it came to relationship issues. Had he been direct and up-
front with his concerns, we would have been able to resolve some of these 
problems in a mature, efficient manner. I found it particularly puzzling that he 
would choose to make us both miserable instead of just confronting me 
with his feelings. Since the early days of our relationship, his emotional 
growth has been tremendous! Looking back, we can both laugh at the ridiculous 
ways in which he handled difficult situations. He is much better now but I feel 
sorry for the thousands of other men out there that do not feel comfortable 
expressing themselves because they believe that it is "unmanly." Emotions affect 
every human being and I think that people should be encouraged to communicate 
their feelings regardless of their gender.

#1.  A situation just recently occurred to me that deeply puzzled me.  There is 
this particular guy that I have been friends with for a few years now, and just 
recently we decided to kiss.  We now have been kissing for a few weeks and 
getting along rather well, but a few days ago I saw him and he said hi to 
everyone around me but did not say hi to me.  The reason this is bothering me is 
because I do not understand how one moment two people can be so close and then 
the next moment they will not even acknowledge each other's existence.  If two 
people like each other why do they ignore one another.  I have seen this 
behavior before and it just frustrates me!  With my last boyfriend he was so 
amazing, friendly, nurturing and romantic when it was the two of us but whenever 
we were around his friends he couldn't let his friends know that he had fallen 
for a girl.  This behavior is so childish but why do guys feel the need to tease 
their buddies when they decide to be cute to their girlfriends?

#1	The one puzzling thing I have about males is I can't quite understand why 
males feel that they have to take care of everything, and if they can't fix it, 
then nobody else can, unless that person is a specialist. There are so many 
examples, but the most recent example happened with my coach.  One of our team 
vans was having trouble starting.  To me, and some of the others, it sounded 
like the starter.  I asked him if it was the starter and he said it was.  I also 
asked if it would make a difference to wait a few minutes to try to start the 
van again.  However, he kept trying to start the van, over and over again 
without giving the starter a break.  He kept swearing and then finally gave up.  
We had to ride back in the other van, squished all the way back from 
the meet.  It turned out that it was the starter, and if he had waited a few 
minutes then everything would have worked until he could have gotten it 
serviced.  I don't understand why he couldn't wait to try the starter again.  It 
would have saved a lot of trouble.

#1 I remember a situation when I just got into a car accident, which was my 
fault.  Naturally, I was extremely upset and flustered which led me to begin 
to cry.  I contacted my partner so that I could calm down and receive some 
support, but instead I received nothing but coldness, (in my opinion).  When 
I shared my problem with my partner, my partner simply responded by saying " 
It's over now.  There is nothing you can do."  Obviously, that didn't make me 
feel better.  Then I received another response from my partner that went 
something like this.  " Why the hell are you crying? Get over it. Sometimes 
you can be such a baby."  I couldn't believe the so called support I was 
receiving.  What kind of communication skills are those.  Is it so hard to 
say something like " I am so sorry. Are you okay, because that is what is 
really important?  Don't worry. Everything will be fine.  This sort of thing 
happens to everyone all the time.  I don't know about you, but I don't think 
it takes a genious to come up with a response like that.

#1.     An interaction that I have previously had with the opposite sex that 
I found to be deeply puzzling was a conversation I had with my ex-boyfriend.   
He told me that he still very much loves me and he is confident that I am "the 
one" for him, yet he just cannot be with me right now.  I find this very 
puzzling because I assumed that if you are confident that someone is "the 
one" for you, then you hold on tight to them and not let them go.  I do not 
think that this kind of behavior is a reflection on the person's gender because 
I feel that females have a tendency to do and say puzzling things also.  Certain 
behaviors that I did not understand that this person was doing was him 
professing his feelings to me, yet dating another girl.  I do not know what his 
motivations were for these actions, but I found them to be quite confusing.  

#1.	 I know this is a stereotypical male thing to do but I had never 
personally experienced it before.  I'm talking about the stereotype where men 
refuse to stop and ask for directions.  My boyfriend and I were supposed to meet 
our friends at this park to have a picnic.  It was out in the middle of nowhere 
on these little country roads so before long we were lost.  I, of course, 
suggested we find some place to stop and ask for directions after we passed the 
same house for the third time.  But, no, he assured me he could figure it out.  
A half-hour passed and I threatened to throw myself out the car door at the next 
gas station if he didn't stop.  He started to get angry with me because 
obviously I doubted his good sense of direction and ability to figure things 
out.  I don't understand why something so small could become such an issue.  If 
we had just stopped and asked for directions we could have gotten there and 
there wouldn't have even been an issue.

#1.  When my boyfriend last year was sick and suddenly he wanted me to play the 
role of mother and became a complete baby and totally crabby and thankless and 
rude.  

#1	I have found guys to be pretty easy to "figure out."  I get along well 
with them and they tend to be my closest friends.  In many ways, they seem to be 
more straightforward and more direct with their feelings.  They may hesitate to 
express them as openly as women do, but I believe that is in an effort to 
protect themselves, which is not always a bad thing to do.  They don't see a 
need to beat around the bush, so understanding what is on their minds is easier, 
thereby avoiding a lot of confusion.  
	As a woman with honest guy friends, I get two interesting perspectives 
on gender - my own as a woman and theirs.  I have to agree with them when they 
say women are more confusing than men in a lot of cases.  Classic scenario that 
I se every weekend:  two girls who hate each other go to the same party, get 
drunk, and end up being best friends by the end of the night.  Or. two girls are 
"best friends" then all of a sudden one starts to badmouth the other behind her 
back and pretend like nothing is different to her face.  How confusing is that?!  
I sometimes feel sorry for guys when I think about some of the things they have 
to deal with - and then we get mad at them when they can't figure us out.  My 
general experience and feeling is that you have the best relationships with guys 
when both parties are honest and straightforward about their feelings - that 
is not something related to gender, but something that relates to humanity as a 
whole.

#1 	I once had an experience where a guy was very dishonest with me and 
basically did a complete personality change on me. The guy he ended up being 
certainly wasn't the one who I had begun to care for.  I don't think my 
experience with him was indicative of the way all guys treat girls, but I do 
think many guys approach situations with girls without revealing their 
complete intentions.

#1  During my sophomore year, I was dating someone who was 
extremely easy-going, and we rarely fought or argued the 
entire time we were together.  The way he handled the end 
of our relationship is what puzzled me, however.  I heard from 
several of his friends that he didn't want the relationship to 
continue, but instead of breaking off the relationship, he 
became mean and suddenly started fights about things we never 
would have fought about previously until I eventually broke up 
with him.  
    His actions made no sense to me, but I assumed that males 
had a different way of dealing with a situation that they don't 
want to continue anymore.  For me, I would rather talk about the 
problem and deal with it by communicating with the other person.  
He, however, seemed to prefer not dealing with it and inevitably 
causing me to handle the situation.  His manner of dealing, or not 
dealing, with the problem I came to consider as a function of his 
gender.

#1 One thing I find that puzzles me about the opposite sex is 
the way in which they deal with things differently then girls 
do. In every relationship I have been in I have found that the 
opposite sex was not as open with emotions as I was. The 
opposite sex seemed to always try to explain feelings indirectly 
or not at all. Where as I find that I am always open to 
expressing emotions up front and to the point. I think guys 
really don't dwell on things as much as girls do. So guys feel 
they always have to discuss problems they have already dealt 
with just to please the girl.

#1 A situation I have found deeply puzzling is in regards to the opposite sex 
(male) and how they criticize women and gossip. I have found that most men think 
that all women do is sit around while they gossip and talk about each other. 
This, many times, can be true. What is puzzling however, is that men don't 
realize how much THEY gossip too. In my opinion, they gossip more than women do. 
	 Men are constantly talking about each other and gossiping about work, 
sports activities, relationships (especially romantic issues), and many other 
aspects of their lives. Just because men may approach it differently, and not 
like women do ("Oh guess what? Or "did you see that?" etc.) They think that what 
they do is not gossip, but it is. And then, just as women do, after completely 
criticizing and talking about someone, they will turn around and act like a real 
friend to that person.I see this as a function to the male gender, in which they 
are always finding errors in females and making an issue about it, when many 
times they are guilty of the same behavior. The bottom line is, both men and 
women gossip.

#1.  The fear of commitment.  Most guys are afraid of committing to someone 
because they are afraid of getting hurt or afraid they're going to miss out 
on other opportunities such as going out to bars with their friends or 
hooking up with other girls.  What amazes me is that if a guy has his mind 
set that he doesn't want a relationship even if he meets the perfect girl 
he'll let the chance to be with her pass by.  However if a girl says she just 
wants to date guys and not have an exclusive relationship but a great guy 
comes along most girls will take the chance to be with him.

#1.  I always find men to be puzzling and incomprehensible.  Whether friends 
or lovers, men have a way of thinking, behaving, and communicating that is 
different from women.  Although I cannot think of a specific instance where this 
has occurred, men in general have different priorities and reactions than women.  
In general, this is often puzzling for us.  

#1.  One confusing situation with the opposite sex occurred when one guy I 
really really liked decided to tell me that although he liked me, he was still 
in love with his ex-girlfriend and needed time to settle things with her (he 
dumped her, because they were not suited for each other).  He then tells me to 
go out and have someone else until he can give me his full attention.  So I tell 
him about some other guy who may ask me out, and he encourages this, but then 
three days later he is talking to my best friend and gets insanely jealous and 
angry that I might be with someone else.  The next time I talk to him, he says 
everything is over.  A month later, he is all over me again.  Is he doing this 
because he knows how much I still like him, and that he can get something 
from me, or because he really still likes me too?  I don't know, I am confused.

It makes sense to me that this guy would get really jealous when he talked to 
my best friend and found out that there was another guy in my life.  When I was 
talking to him, I mentioned the other guy, but of course played it down because 
I liked him better.  And I guess he was probably testing how much I liked him 
when he told me that I could go out with the other guy.  In reality, he must 
have been very jealous.  But just because there was the possibility of another 
guy asking me out didn't mean that he had to kick me out of his life for a 
month.  I don't understand his rationality there.  Jealousy may be common 
in all males, but I don't even know if this is.  And I don't know why he came 
back...what are his motivations?  A lot of guys may come back for the sexual 
aspect if it is possible, but should I judge him like "a lot of guys" or should 
I remember back to where he really liked me?  I don't know.  I don't understand 
why they do what they do...and if I do have some clue as to male motivations, I 
want to give the guy I like the chance to prove he is not some chauvinistic 
male.

#1  I find it remarkably puzzling that males can do something incredibly 
boring for hours on end.  An example of this for instance would be playing 
video games for really long periods of time.  I am puzzled that guys can be 
so incredibly fascinated in "electronic square boxes" (television, computers, 
stereos, video games) for so long that they do not even notice that there are 
other people in the room.  Why is it also that another guy can watch someone 
else play Nintendo 64 for hours on end, even if he is not playing.  For 
instance, why is it that when his buddies are playing a football video game, 
that that guy will actually scream and jump up and down if the team of his 
preference scores a goal, even though it is not even a real game, it is 
electronic.

#1.  The last time I was puzzled by someone of the opposite sex 
was last Friday.  My boyfriend and I were at a bar with many of 
his co-workers.  One of his close friends was drinking and 
dancing with other girls.  He is married and was celebrating his 
5th Anniversary as well as his 29th Birthday that night.  Now, I 
understand you want to have fun on your Birthday, but he was 
flirting and dancing pretty provocatively with the other female 
co-workers, in a manner, which I am pretty certain his wife 
would not approve of.  Instead of going home to meet his 



#1.  I've had numerous occurrences with my current boyfriend that brings our 
relationship to the brink. The occurrences deal mainly with my male friends, and 
his jealously towards the time we spend with each other. I do feel that this is 
a gender "hang-up" because I know that I don't feel any threat from his female 
friends, and my girlfriends have no ill feelings towards their boyfriend's girl-
friends. What puzzled me the most is the statement made by my boyfriend that, 
"your male friends are just waiting for you to leave me, they're just waiting in 
the wings for their opportunity". Okay, that may be a valid statement for some 
of my friends that I have severed contact with, but if men can make that 
generalization about all men, then how are women supposed to feel when their 
significant others have female friends. It's a huge double standard, and it 
puzzles me why men can't see what is so horribly wrong with their theory of male 
friends. 

#1.  Just recently a male created an incomprehensible situation when I asked 
the male a question.  He completely lied to my face with the dumbest response 
and tried to justify his answer by trying to make me feel guilty I asked and 
then he began to give me the silent treatment. I definitely think it was a 
function of the person's male gender.  Males for some reason get overwhelmed 
when it comes to a serious conversation and then they shut females out, 
because they can't seem to handle what is being communicated.
 
        What I think I found to be the most puzzling part of the situation 
was how he was really having a difficult time expressing what he was 
thinking. I could actually see the frustration and puzzling emotion on his 
face.  After he was able to find a couple of words, all he could say was that 
he didn't want to talk to me anymore and then he just completely shut down.

#1. It was extremely confusing when one of my ex-boyfriends had 
just proposed to me. He had stated that he was sure I was The 
One and that he did not want to lose me. About one week later we 
ended up having a really bad argument  however, it was not 
anything that I didn't think could be fixed but he thought the 
opposite. He stated that he did not know what he wanted and that 
he was sure he did not want to be with me, so he broke up with me. 
Eventually I found out through one of his friends that he thought 
that  even though he knew I was The One he was too young to 
commit and did not want to be with me for now. This experience 
just helped me prove even more that the majority of guys are 
afraid to commit, not just to one person or relationship but to 
anything  that requires  considerable amount of extra work.

#2. I like the strength and the more relaxed carefree nature 
of guys. They tend not to blow a huge proportion out of 
minor details. However sometimes I think, guys are so 
carefree in thought that they fail to see the feelings and 
the emotions of others. I do not like how males sometimes 
fail to see that they have hurt others. I think males in 
general for the most part are less sensitive and emotional 
than women. I also dislike the way men avoid situations. 
For example, if you really need to talk about a problem or 
situation they avoid it at all costs until finally the girl 
has to corner the guy to get a straightforward answer. 

#2 What I like about the opposite sex is that they are more direct in 
handling situations and problems, they can act as a physical security in 
intimidating situations, they can be handy around the house and when mechanical 
appliances fail, they offer a different perspective, and that they are not 
overly emotional. What I dislike about the opposite sex is that they can be 
extremely immature, they don't communicate very well, 
they often forget important bits of information, they think of sex as something 
purely physical, they fear commitment, they are often homophobic, and that they 
are not overly emotional.

#2 I like the feeling of warmth and protection that a man gives when he holds 
me, like there is someone that will take care of me if I ever need them.
I also like that guys are so open minded and not over critical.  I love 
hanging out with my guy friends because it is like a breathe of fresh air.  
They don't overanalyze over stuff and they just seem to have this light 
heartedness about them.  It is refreshing.  I don't like that they can tease 
me about losing a video game, but if I beat them, I get the cold shoulder.  
The fragile pride is hard to deal with.

#2 Based on my experiences, I have found the male sex to have many 
positive characteristics. For instance, I like the fact that they are built 
bigger and stronger than women. The sense of physical security that they can 
offer a female is a very reassuring quality. I also enjoy their boyish charm and 
their spontaneity. An especially attractive quality that many males possess is 
the art of chivalry. There is nothing more flattering than a gentleman. In 
addition to these qualities, males tend to be very direct (with everything 
excluding their emotions) and their decisiveness is often welcomed. 
	In contrast to these "good" qualities, males also possess several 
negative characteristics. For example, I do not appreciate the fact that most 
men have "tunnel-vision." It seems as though they can only concentrate on one 
thing at a time, so when the football game is on – back off girls! Similarly, 
men have trouble communicating their emotions. This is a very frustrating 
quality that leaves many women feeling hopeless and alone. Often times a man's 
sense of pride can get in the way of their sensibility, and this too can be 
aggravating. 

#2.  What I like about the opposite sex, is how I feel protected and safe when I 
am around them.  I like it when guys are ambitious and work hard to provide for 
their families and loved ones.  I like how they look.  I love their strong arms 
and broad chest.  I like the way they smell.  I like how they want to fix 
things.  I like how they do not engage in gossip.  What I dislike about them 
is how they think with their second head.  Sex is everything to them.  Sex seems 
to be the driving force for males.  They tell a girl what they want to hear just 
to get the girl in bed with them.  I hate when they look at magazines and think 
that every woman should look like Supermodels.  I hate how they are so stubborn 
and won't ask a question if they don't understand something. 

#2	What I like most about the opposite sex is the different outlooks on life, 
there ability not hold grudges, their strength emotionally, the body structure, 
and the way they treat their mothers (if they treat them well).  I don't like 
how they are messy and dirty, or their jealous ways, or their macho attitudes.

#2 The things that I like about the opposite sex are as follows.  One of the 
things that I like is that the opposite sex isn't as critical as my gender.  
They don't over analyze as we do which is really good quality because being 
too critical is a nasty trait.  Another thing that I like about the opposite 
sex is that they are pretty much straight forward, rather than beating around 
the bush like my gender.  When I decide to go shopping, I always take the 
opposite sex along because they will be honest with me whereas my gender 
probably won't.  Being handy around the house isn't so bad either.
	One of the things that I dislike about the opposite sex is that it is 
very difficult for them to be monogamous.  They never have enough.  They 
always think that even though they have something great, they must be 
something better out there.  They are never satisfied with what they have. 
When they do decided to become monogamous, they expect a reward for it.
	Always having an agenda with the opposite sex.  For example, I became 
really good friends with a person of the opposite sex and my partner warned 
me that that person wasn't planning on staying friends, rather that person 
was trying to persue me. I didn't believe my partner, but soon enough my so 
called friend made a pass at me.  I just don't understand why sex is the 
opposite sex's main priority.

#2.     There are many things about males that I like.  Males bring a sense 
of safety and security when I am around them, whether they are a friend or a 
boyfriend.  Other guys tend to back off of women and are less tempted to 
approach a woman if a man is with them.  I also enjoy talking to males 
especially concerning relationship issues because they bring about a 
new perspective.  They can give insight as to why a guy might be acting the way 
he is.  Males also tend to be less petty than women.  For example, males do not 
make a big issue of minor things and are not as judgmental as women.  I also 
like the flirtatiousness of some males, and the excited feeling that a 
male gives me when I am interested in them.  Males also have the wonderful 
quality of chivalry, at least some do, which can make all the difference when a 
couple is out on a date, because being a gentleman shows that the male was 
brought up right and cares about the woman he is with.
	There are also many things that I dislike about males.  I do not like 
how males have to put on an act in front of their guy friends in order to not 
show their emotions.  It seems that males have a dual personality when it comes 
to how they act in front of females and how they act in front of their friends.  
Males also seem to have a communication problem.  When they need to 
communicate their feelings, they tend to go about it the wrong way, which 
sometimes end up hurting women's feelings.  Another thing that I don't like 
about males is that they are more insensitive than women because they do not 
takke into consideration what my hurt a person's feelings and how they might be 
affected.  

#2.  	I like the feeling of security that I get around men because of their 
physical strength and take-charge demeanor.  I also like the fact that many men 
are very handy around the house and with cars.  The aspect of men in general I 
like the most is their strength.  I like feeling protected, like someone's 
watching out for me.  
	 I don't like the whole male need to be macho.  They always have something 
to prove or the need to impress girls or each other.  I also dislike their split 
personality.  Around you, they can be so sweet and loving and as soon as they 
get around their friends or someone they have to impress, they become too cool.  
They become guarded all of the sudden and their behavior changes.  Another thing 
I don't like is the male inability to express emotions and communicate.  
Women seem to have the incredible ability to communicate about anything while 
men aren't able to articulate their feelings into words. 

#2.  I like that they make me feel good about myself and make me feel safe.  I 
don't like that they can often be so insensitive and not understanding of why we 
feel the way we do.

#2	Like - Gotta love those manly physiques! I like the sense of security I 
feel with them, they are easygoing and fun and lighthearted, their smell (when 
they take showers), the way they can wrap their arms around you and make you 
feel safe and comfortable, their straightforwardness and honesty, the way they 
tend to dislike drama and gossip and all the other bullshit women seem to thrive 
on, the way they can be these big macho guys who can still be vulnerable and 
sometimes insecure (and that's okay), a sense of innocence I feel they carry 
with them, their endearing awkwardness that sometimes comes through when they 
are doing something like trying to tell you they love you. I could go on 
forever!
	Dislike - The egos they sometimes have, a direct result of a big head 
and their own insecurity and desire to be accepted in my opinion, their smell 
(when they don't take showers! I never knew such odors existed.), the way they 
can change around their friends (again in an effort to seek acceptance), their 
fear of commitment, the one-track mind they seem to have sometimes (they think 
with their wrong heads too often!), the fact that some never seem satisfied with 
just being a girl's friend. and nothing more, that they have a hard time 
expressing their feelings (not feeling them!).

#2 	I like that many guys can approach problems in a less emotional way 
than many girls do.  Many times they take a situation for what it is and 
don't analyze every minor detail.  I also like the physical security offered 
by a guy. I can't help but feel safer walking down the street with my 
boyfriend by my side than being by myself.  I really respect the perspective 
guys offer to different life situations.  They see things differently and can 
really help to open up different possibilities.  I also believe guys are 
considerably less critical than girls.  They aren't the first to point out 
every flaw a person has.

	I don't like the jealous aspect of guys.  It is hard for me to 
understand how they can be so possessive of the girls in their life.  I don't 
like that many guys are different to the girls in their life when they are 
with their friends.  I don't like it that guys are obsessed with video games. 
Finally I don't like the way most guys talk about women.  It is so easy for 
them to throw around degrading comments and to not even put a second thought 
to the meaning of their words.

#2  I like the fact that males are generally stronger than females.  
It gives the feeling of being "protected," and I don't feel 
threatened by a male's physical superiority in strength and muscle 
structure.  In fact, I prefer it.  In many cases, I like the male's 
straight-forward manner of approaching situations.  In many instances, 
a woman will overanalyze a situation, and make it more complex than it 
is.  Whereas, men tend to look at things more as they are and are 
able to simplify the problem.

#2 Through out my life my closest friends and most loyal friends 
have been guys. They have been there for me when I needed 
someone to listen and support me through hard times. They also 
know how to put a smile on my face. I feel the opposite sex 
allows me to be who I am because they are not as worried about 
society and what others think. I also like how I can ask they 
advice and get a completely different outlook on the situation. 
On the other hand, I will have to say I dislike how cold hearted 
the opposite sex can seem sometimes. I don't think they are cold 
hearted I just do not think they put as much importance on 
certain subjects and it can seem like they do not care. 

#2 I like that the opposite sex is carefree, physically active (as in sports), 
and curious. Men seem to be born with these qualities. They generally avoid 
responsibility (and if they do take any on, they usually mess it up), and 
basically live life moment to moment. Men also seem to be naturally athletic. I 
on the other hand, can barely hit a ball with a bat, and fear catching a ball 
that is in the air. The curiosity issue is one I like and dislike about men. It 
is good to be curious- they wonder about many things and will try many things 
juts to quiet their curiosity. This curiosity can also be dangerous and risky.

I dislike that they are also selfish, that they can be narrow minded, and that 
their circle of friends can be so vitally important to them. I have found most 
men to be very selfish. By this I mean that they usually put their own interests 
first, above all others. What matters most to them is what they want to do, and 
spend most of their time doing what they want. Men are also very narrow minded. 
They believe whatever they want to believe (usually what suits them best,) and 
stick to the idea that what they believe is always right. Lastly, what I mostly 
dislike about the male sex is their undying loyalty to their circle of friends. 
This characteristic somewhat ties into them being selfish too- males do whatever 
they want, and this usually includes being with or doing things with their 
friends. As women get married (or becoming seriously committed to relationship), 
or have a family, their friends and/or social life take a back seat. For most 
males however, being in a relationship or having a family doesn't affect their 
social life.

#2.  Guys are not as emotional, they aren't as petty as girls, not as 
critical as girls, and guys get straight to the point rather than beating 
around the bush.  The downside to guys is their fear of commitment, they 
don't communicate their emotions and feelings well, they have the ability to 
forget (ie. phone numbers, anniversaries, b-days), they have hidden agendas 
(ie. a girl thinks a guy is her friend but he really just wants to get on 
her), guys act different with their girlfriends than they do with their 
friends.

#2.  I have often stated that I like men more than women, not only as lovers 
but even as friends.  I don't know specifically what makes this so.  I don't 
even know if I like men because they are men, or simply because they are not 
women.  When we discussed in groups the other day, I noticed that most of our 
observations about men were simply opposites of our dislikes about women.  For 
example, women like that men are not conniving, gossipy, insecure, or petty...as 
women.  Except for the comments dealing with physical attributes (i.e. strength 
or appearance), most of our likes about men had more to do with the fact that 
they are not women.  Our dislikes were much the same...opposites of 
what we like about women.  We dislike when men are too emotional, too proud,  
or too jealous...like women.  Women like men because...well, face it, opposites 
attract.

#2.  Things I like about men are their ways of finding something fun to do 
when nothing is going on--especially if it includes me, their ways of protecting 
me as boyfriend or as friend, their ways of talking straight to me without 
hiding anything if they don't have to, their attractiveness, their spontaneity, 
their chivalrousness, their little quirks and fancies, and their little ways of 
showing affection.

Things I do not like about men are their hard-headedness, their cluelessness, 
their forgetfulness about the little things, the way I totally disappear from 
their mind when they are "with the boys" or watching sports or playing video 
games, their inability for intimacy sometimes, their interest in JUST intimacy 
sometimes, the way they might look at a female as an object, their inability to 
communicate, and their emotional maturity at times.

#2  In general males are easier to talk to then girls are (this does not 
include the act of them inserting feedback usually, it is simply listening to 
a girl's complaining).  Another good thing about guys is that if they are 
your friends, they generally make you feel really good about yourself, guys 
are definitely a self-esteem booster.  What I do not like about guys is that 
they put their penises before anything else. Why would guys rather watch 
girls in bikinis jumping on trampolines then have a great meaningful 
conversation.  I also do not like the way guys act when they are around other 
guys, it is so fake!  Another thing I do not like about guys is that they 
will buy nice rims and tires, paint racing stripes all over their car, put a 
wonderful stereo in it, only to impress other people.  Why is that that guys 
will pay for a kick-ass paint job before they buy a new, working carburetor.  
And why is that males will not be your friend unless they are attracted to 
you in some form or another (a male once told me that my closest guy friends 
are only my friends because they want to have sex with me.)

#2 I like the fact that men are good at fixing cars. I am quite handy and can 
fix any toilet or faucet, but those bolts on cars are just too hard for me to 
loosen. I can't stand the lengths that men will go to in an effort to score. 
I have seen them slip their wedding ring in their pocket when they thought I 
wasn't looking, lie, pretend they love you.

#2.  I like the masculinity of men, their smell, their strength, their voice, 
their confidence, basically, I like the things that they are that we aren't. 
That is for the bad stuff. What I don't like about men is their unique ability 
to create double standards in an instant to justify their anger, no matter how 
ridiculous their anger is.  I also don't like men and their jealously, it's not 
called for most of the time, and it is based on their own insecurities, and 
their inability to face them.

#2.  Things I like about males include the way they tend not to hold grudges 
amongst themselves.  Also, their physical appearance in terms of being 
stronger which creates a sense of security in me.  Another thing I like is 
the way they are able to make something that is so complicated seem so petty 
and then solve it.

        Things I dislike about males include their rudeness when it comes to 
matters of public scratching.  I dislike the double standards they set, 
especially about trust.  For example, they may say "I trust you, I just don't 
trust other guys".  Another thing I don't like is the way a lot of males 
think women are possessions.  On another note, they lack overall 
understanding of the female body.  Here I mean they are so aggressive.

#2.  In general, what I like about the opposite sex is that men are usually 
simpler in terms of relationships.  They tend to be more direct than women, more 
spontaneous, objective, and physically stronger.  They don't read into things as 
much as women-they just take things at face value.  Usually they're easily 
amused/entertained by a sports show or little hobby like cars or guitars.  
What I don't like about the opposite sex is that men generally tend to be self-
centered most of the time.  When they get in trouble with their girlfriends it 
is because they didn't take the time to think about their partner or spouse and 
how his actions would affect her feelings.  My second least favorite male 
attribute is their poor communication skills.  If they are unhappy, sad, 
hurt, ecstatic, happy, or worried-why can't the just say so?  It should be 
mandatory for all men to enlist in a personal or public communications course in 
high school?.

#2. One of the things I like more about the opposite sex id their 
ability to give a woman   their opinion without being critical but 
being truthful and honest, this explains why it is easier  for 
allot of  women to maintain a relationship with men longer than 
with women. One of the things I dislike greatly about the opposite 
sex is their ability to commit to a relationship, this perhaps has 
to do a lot with my previous experiences, however I am not the 
only one who believes this since most of my guy friends are living 
testimony of such theory.

#3. I think the opposite sex really misunderstands female 
emotions and feelings. Guys believe that girls are too 
emotional and excessively sensitive. Because of this, I 
think they mask certain truths in relationships. 

#3 The one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about my sex is 
our intentions. My sex is pretty notorious about dropping "subtle" hints about 
our intentions. This is a problem with most males because unless it's coming at 
them like a steaming locomotive, they will miss it. 

#3 That we are a bunch of "teasers".  Women love to be friendly and caring and 
warm and nurturing, and we love to flirt as well, but sometimes guys think 
that if we smile at them, we like them....if we don';t and are just being 
friendly...then we are called teases.  It is very hard to engage in harmless 
flirting!

#3 I feel that men misunderstand the strength of our emotions. Many men 
blame a woman's emotional fluctuations on PMS, but they rarely take the time to 
ask us why we feel the way we do. Men are quick to make fun of us and offer 
little support to ease our troubles. I suppose that men have such a difficult 
time understanding the strength and the influence that our emotions have on us 
because they do not experience events in the same way we do. Perhaps if they 
could walk in our shoes for a day they would have a better understanding of the 
power of our feelings – and maybe only then would they offer us a little more 
support and patience. 
    
#3.  I think sex is the one thing that guys don't understand about females.  
Guys need to understand that the mood has to be right to have sex.  If a female 
is upset at a male she can't have sex until the issue is resolved.  Males don't 
understand that and separate their emotional feelings from their hormones.

#3	The opposite sex most misunderstands females' relationships with other 
females.  They need to understand that females need other females, for laughter, 
comfort, touch and security.

#3 The one thing that the opposite sex misunderstands about my gender is that 
just because we are both in the same location/area, that doesn't mean that we 
are spending time together.  For example, I believe that people who are in a 
relationship and decide to live together are making the wrong decision.  I 
strongly feel this way because I can't tell you how many times I have heard 
these negative responses. A couple decides to live together.  My gender feels 
that the opposite sex isn't spending enough time together.  In fact they have 
spent less time together since they moved in together. My gender confronts 
the opposite sex on her feelings and the opposite sex responds by saying " 
What are you talking about? I see you all the time.  I see you in the morning 
when we wake up and I see you at night before we go to sleep."  My point is 
that time being spent with the opposite sex should be quality time.  I don't 
think waking up in the morning, going to bed at night, or watching T.V. and 
playing video games is.

#3.       I think the one thing that males misunderstand about females is the 
emotional trauma that males put us through when they do certain things.  If a 
male says he is going to call and doesn't, women automatically start making 
assumptions that the male doesn't like her.  Males also don't understand how 
sensitive women are and how careful they need to be with their choice of words 
and actions.  For example, if a male does not like a woman, yet he leads her 
on, that can greatly hurt a woman's feelings.  Some guys do not understand that 
by playing games with a woman, they are also playing with the woman's emotions.  

#3.	The opposite sex thinks girls are too clingy.  At the college level, many 
times people "hook up" at parties.  The next day the guy feels that he has to 
ignore her and pretend nothing happened.   They think this is because the girl 
now thinks they're boyfriend and girlfriend.  Men must understand that sometimes 
women just need a little affection too without any strings attached.  The girl 
who has just "hooked up" with someone probably doesn't want a relationship 
with that guy either.  All she wants is the guy to be friendly and normal the 
next day.

#3. That we need time to primp and preen.

#3	Not all women are alike.  Yes, there are women out there who are 
looking for a man with money and a hot car, or who will cheat on them, or who 
will just mess with their heads with no intention of ever getting serious, but 
there are also some pretty decent gals out there - you just have to look in the 
right places and look deep enough.  
Also, not every girl you meet has to be your girlfriend or someone you 
"score" with.  Especially when I am just beginning a friendship with a guy, 
there tends to be this sort of awkward period where he is waiting to see if it 
is anything more will happen.  I just try to lay low and be very careful of the 
messages I am sending in the way I talk to him and look at him, etc. until he 
has realized that yes, I am a nice girl, and no, he will not be getting into my 
pants.

#3	I think guys misunderstand the emotions of girls.  I think the range of 
emotions girls experience on a regular basis is very foreign to guys.  It's 
not that I think they don't feel things-just maybe not as often.  

#3  The opposite sex seems to most misunderstand why girls act the 
way they do toward other girls since they often appear to be "fake" 
to certain girls that they don't like instead of taking the "male" 
approach which is to be up front about their opinion of a particular 
person.  Men don't seem to understand why girls "pretend" to like 
other girls, and then proceed to gossip or make rude comments about 
the girl after she has left the room.

#3 Girls are confusing! I will have to say that guys 
misunderstand the nature of the way girls work. Girls emotions 
go from one extreme to the next. Girls are always changing and 
may take the littlest thing and make it into a big thing. It's 
funny to see guys try to figure out the right thing to say. I 
guess my advice for their misunderstanding of women is to keep 
open communication between each other. That way there will be no 
questioning what mood or what she wants you to do next.

#3 The opposite sex most misunderstands women and our biology. Even though they 
are taught about it in school, most males could not draw an accurate diagram of 
the female anatomy, nor do they know the functions of each part. They are also 
completely clueless about women and menstruation, therefor lacking any kind of 
compassion or patience during that most emotional time of the month for women.
Since the opposite sex has never experienced menstruation, they take it as a 
joke, often referring to it when women are in a bad mood. Males see is as the 
protagonist for moodiness, not the miracle within women that allows the gift of 
life to be possible. They also do not consider how difficult and painful such 
times can be, and that our responsibility in childbearing does not stop there, 
it is just starting. Since men don't understand, they really can't care.

#3.  Guys don't realize how important it is to call when they say they're 
going to call.  

#3.  From my discussions with male and female friends, I have noticed that 
men have a huge misunderstanding of women's appreciation of sex.  The physical 
act of sex is just as appealing to women as it is to men.  It simply is not as 
high a priority for women as it is or men.  Men perceive this as meaning that 
"women don't like sex."  Believe me, women like sex...but we also like control.  
By making sex a lesser priority, we are more able to ignore our desires, thus 
giving us at least half the control in the relationship.  I strongly believe 
that men hold the emotional control in a relationship, and women the 
physical control.  It's all because of different priorities.  In the end, 
however, women can hold most of the control.  When a man really falls in love, 
he loses his emotional control and becomes just as vulnerable as the women.  But 
women will always hold the physical control.  ...But unlike most men think, 
women do love sex!

#3.  The one thing men most misunderstand about females is what the females 
are thinking...the thoughts in their heads and hearts.  Males always seem to be 
stuck on a simpler level than females, and don't know the deep thoughts and 
analysis that the females have going through their heads.  Females read into 
things and analyze situations, or else just think more of a man than he ever 
knows or suspects.  This is not to say that the female is right in her over-
analysis, but it would be easier if the man had any clue that women often 
look into things a little bit more than normal...that way, even if the female 
was wrong to think what she was thinking, the male would know what was going 
on in her head and deal with her better.  It would also be nice if the man 
understood how much things touched a woman...how she feels about him and 
things, because that way he would be honest and tell her not to get too 
attached, because his heart is not going the same way, or else do what he 
could to please her because he knew how much certain things meant to her.  
Men and women need to take courses on how each other's brains work so that 
they can come to better understanding and communication, because they don't 
realize that there is such a difference in their trains of thought.

#3 Males always think that girls are flirting when in most instances they are 
not at all.  Why is hugging and even wrestling with your good guy friends 
considered flirting when that is not the intention behind that action at all!

#3 Men often don't understand a woman's feelings. I think it is often because 
they tend to be shut down emotionally. They will do things that hurt a 
woman's feelings, and they are not even aware that they have done something 
wrong. This makes the man appear to be insensitive. Then they wonder why the 
woman is so "emotional" over such a little thing.

#3.  I think the biggest misconception about women is that we are all looking 
for a commitment. I don't think women are looking for a commitment as much as 
they are looking for a friend and someone they can trust. Men don't understand 
that it's not the commitment that women want, it's the open dialogue, the 
honesty and the friendship they are looking for. If women could have that 
without commitment, I think they'd settle for that also. 

#3.  Males misunderstand that we females are not responsible for our mood 
swings.  They think we have some kind of control over them, when in reality 
we have none. They seem to think that we are just indecisive and are trying 
to get our way.

#3.  Men mostly misunderstand women' feelings and moods.  Our hormones are 
biologically different and can drastically change especially during certain 
times of the month.  Medicine can only help alleviate this problem to a certain 
extent.  Furthermore, it would be nice for men to realize that a women is 
largely a product of this society which is controlled and dominated by men in 
power yet functions and survives due to the strength, courage, and affection of 
the mothers/women that raised them.

#3. It is difficult to generalize but perhaps the one thing that 
the opposite sex has misunderstood from my gender is the 
expectations that we have of relationships or of our partners. 
Most of the women that I know would agree with me that all we are 
looking for is to be listened to and consoled in times of need. 
Not necessarily that we are looking for our partners to find a 
solution to our problems, but at least to listen to us and say "It 
will be all right".

#4. The characteristics that attract me are humor, 
confidence, intelligence, and attractive good looks. The 
most important factor that attracts me are a person's 
common interests as well as a positive attitude and goal 
orientated nature of the person. I like guys who are stable 
with goals and ambitions. 

#4 When I met my boyfriend, the one reason why I wanted to strike up a 
conversation with him was because he has a natural smile. He was neither talking 
to anybody or thinking about anything in particular. Just watching a game. He 
wasn't smiling on purpose, just his face naturally relaxed into a smile and I 
thought that was an interesting trait to have and wanted to know if his 
personality was as friendly as his face. Once I realized that he was and that I 
had a genuinely caring person on my hands, I made him into my boyfriend and 
still is after three years straight.

#4 Physically, I am very attracted to a mans back and shoulders....I guess it 
goes along with the whole idea of being held and protected.  I love a man who 
loves to laugh and is easily amused by life.  I can't stand cynicism.  I love 
a cuddler.  And I love someone who is driven (to a certain extend...not 
overboard) it is sexy when a man is excited about what he wants to do with 
his life!

#4 When I was first introduced to my current boyfriend I found him 
particularly attractive for many reasons. I was immediately captivated by his 
physical appearance: he is 6'3" tall with blonde hair and green eyes. His 
gorgeous smile sent shivers throughout my body and I loved the way my hand 
looked in his. Aside from his physical attributes, I was most attracted to his 
charming personality. He was funny, flirtatious and a complete 
gentleman. He was a respectful individual who interacted well with my family 
and friends. His athletic abilities and his sense of adventure were also 
attractive qualities. I have never been so impressed with a man! 

#4.  This last person I was attracted to, I was attracted to him at first by his 
physical appearance.  When we actually started talking I found him to be 
intelligent, smart and well -traveled which are all very important 
characteristics to me.  

#4	The first thing that attracts me to a guy is obviously there looks.  If a 
guy is good looking, then he will get my attention.  I like a strong jaw line, 
soft eyes and good smile.  The most important factor, however, is a good 
personality.  A good personality includes being humorous, being confident, being 
aware of things (such as me), and being good company.  

#4 Naturally, the first characteristic that you become aware of is the 
physical appearance.  However, that is not the primary characteristic in 
deciphering my attraction to someone of the opposite sex. I am completely 
attracted to someone who might not be considered a "hottie", but who is shy 
but outspoken with real things to say, who is quiet but loud with knowledge 
(much more deeper than who bought the new sega game or did you see those new 
rims on that car, and who has class and isn't afraid to show it.  Call me 
strange, but I am the type of person that would be head over heels for  
someone who is sitting quietly alone at a restaurant having dinner, then 
someone who is constantly around tons of friends being extremely loud just 
because that person is searching for attention.

#4.        The last time I was attracted to a guy, there were certain things 
about him that I liked.  I was attracted to his confidence, his appearance, his 
personality and the fact that he was outgoing.  I think confidence is the most 
important factor because it shows that the guy is sure of himself and who he is.  
The guy that I was attracted to is also very social and likes to go out, which 
is very important to me because I love being around people.  Social status is 
not important to me, just as long as I can have a good time with the person I am 
attracted to, then I am happy.  The attraction with this guy also started with 
flirting.  Certain flirtatious moves made me assume that the guy was interested, 
which lead to more flirting between the two of us.  

#4.	I was attracted to this one particular guy for many reasons.  First, he 
was very physically attractive to me.  He also exuded confidence something I 
feel like I'm lacking.  He was charming and always seemed to be high on life.  
He was so attractive to me because I wanted some of what he had, whatever it 
was.  
	Another important factor was his blind faith in Christianity.  Being with 
someone who shares my beliefs is very important to me.  He seemed much farther 
along than I was and I respected him for that.  I need to respect the guys I 
date and what they stand for.  He seemed like an all around great guy.  If I 
didn't date him it was okay.  I could always mentor him; he was so perfect.

#4.His macho personality and strong sense of confidence and self-esteem.

#4	The last person I found myself attracted to was my ex-boyfriend.  He 
had this incredible aura about him which encompassed everything from the way he 
smelled (oh my god!  It was his Eternity cologne and the smoke from a tobacco 
pipe that combined to make this rough, manly scent that drove me crazy) to his 
major in school (Theater - it's so different from mine and it's something I 
could never do).  I was attracted to his deep, piercing eyes, his body - 
especially his back, his arms, and his huge hands 
(I loved them!!) - his attention to detail, the element of mystery he had about 
him, his taste in music (a big one), the way he acted around his friends and the 
way his friends looked up to him, the way just his presence demanded an element 
of respect and attention, the way he was so gentle with me, the fact that he 
wrote  poetry and was an incredibly inspired and creative man, his ability to 
perform (on stage, I mean), his confidence in himself and his abilities.  Like I 
say, it was all these that came together to create this awesome aura that 
you couldn't help but feeling when you were around him.  However, if I had to 
narrow it down, the one thing that I found attractive (and still do) is the way 
he carries himself  -- with such poise and confidence and charisma, and he's 
definitely got the stuff to back it up.

#4 	 Initially, I was attracted to my current boyfriend because I thought 
he was completely unattainable.  I was attracted to the challenge.  He was 
also one of my good friends and I liked that he noticed if I had a hard day 
or if something wasn't quite right.  I also was extremely attracted to him 
physically.  I like that he towered over me when we stood next to each other.  
He is also extremely confident, ambitious, and intelligent.  Finally, even if 
he didn't want to admit it, I could tell he was attracted to me too by the 
looks he would give me and the special attention I always warranted from him.

#4  The one person to whom I felt the most attraction was someone 
who actually had very little self-confidence but whose genuine 
personality truly captivated me from the beginning.  I was attracted 
to his physical appearance when I first met him, but as his personality
was revealed to me more and more, I found myself becoming more and 
more attracted to him.  Social status played absolutely no role in my 
feelings for him, but his general personality and the way he treated 
me was very important.  
    His sense of humor eased any tension and prevented any awkwardness,
and I found that to be an extremely attractive characteristic.  In a 
serious moment, however, he was always sensitive and knew when to 
avoid making light of a situation.  I found his overall caring nature 
to be a very positive trait as well as the way he showed his feelings 
for me, in a very honest way, a way that many men would be too scared 
to attempt.

#4 There have been two guys in my life that I have found 
qualities in that I admire and made me want to take that risk of 
the unknown world of relationships. I believe what attracted me 
to them is their self-confidence and how well we got along as 
friends. I always say that the person I want to share the rest 
of my life with will be my best friend and partner. They both 
were very smart and reached for their goals. I loved the feeling 
of being able to learn from each other. They both were very kind 
and always knew when to give me a hug or just when to be silly. 
I found myself attracted even more to them when I started to 
notice that my needs were as important to them as their own. Not 
to say I was more important, but that they just wanted to make 
sure I was doing okay too. I want to be able to trust and 
communicate and share my life and dreams with someone I'm 
involve with.

#4 What attracted me most to a person of the opposite sex was physical 
appearance. This does not mean that this is what I hold to be the most important 
characteristic in a person, but physical appearance is what attracted me first. 
Had I not been, physically attracted, I most likely would not have had any 
interest in that person, therefor missing out on the chance to get to know them. 
By getting to know this person, I became attracted to more characteristics.
By realizing, that I liked just about everything about this person, and that the 
feeling was mutual, I decided to get involved in a relationship. What caught my 
attention though was their physical appearance since that was I saw first, and 
made me want to know more abut them.

#4.  The guy I was attracted to was polite, respectful, honest, outgoing, 
physically attractive, goal-oriented, romantic, and passionate about whatever 
he did in life.  What mostly attracted me to him was his personality traits 
and the goals he wanted to accomplish for his future.  

#4.  When I first see a man, obviously the original attraction is stemmed 
from physical appearance.  But this does not mean what most men think.  Women 
are not solely attracted to a nice chest, ass, or other areas.  Sometimes the 
most attractive part of a man is his hands, his eyes, his jawline, or many other 
features.  (My personal favorite is the hands!)  These features can say so much 
about a man's personality, not just his physical strength (although that's nice 
too!).  Even if a man gains my attention physically, however, he can lose it 
quickly by not being considerate, respectful, intelligent, interesting, etc.  An 
attractive man is nothing if that's all he is.  In the same way, a less 
attractive man can be very sexy if he possesses these traits.  Many times I 
will find myself very attracted to a man simply because he opened the door for 
me or held an intelligent conversation.  Instant attraction is physical.  I will 
admit that.  But long term attraction is so much more...and physical appearance 
just doesn't cut it.

#4.  One time when I was particularly attracted to a guy, he stopped and 
asked me what it was about him that made me fall for him.  Thinking about that, 
I would say that number one, he was nice to me.  He was cute and all, but the 
first and foremost thing that made me interested in him was his willingness to 
stop to talk to me, to flirt with me and play games, joking back and forth with 
me even when we had just met.  There was no awkwardness, no mind games, nothing.  
He was honest, told me he thought I was cute, talked to me, and told me how much 
he would love to see me again--like, the next day.  Then there was also his 
smile that attracted me to him, because that smile made me melt.  
But most of all, it was the way he approached me and made me feel special 
right away that made him special to me.

#4  The thing that most attracted me to the opposite sex is that he was a 
devout Christian who loves God and his family before anything else.  The 
second most attractive thing was that he had similar interests then I have 
(water skiing, water polo, etc.).

#4 The thing that I find most attractive in a man is when they are sweet and 
gentle and yet masculine too. I also am attracted to a man that openly 
expresses his feelings. This is a combination that a woman doesn't come by 
very often. 

#4.  Hmmmm. This is a hard one because of the fact that I have been attracted 
to almost every type of man with every type of racial background and 
personality. Number one for me I truly believe is a man's self confidence. If I 
like a man and start to date him, it's usually because he's really confident. 
More often than not, the guy turns out to be over confident, and more of a jerk 
than a man. But I guess that's a trait that a lot of women develop, they want 
the bad boy. Let me ask you a question, why is that?

#4.  What attracted me to him was his smile.  He was easy going and had a 
relaxed nature about him that made me feel relaxed as well.  His facial 
features were so handsome, especially his beautiful hazel eyes.  Also the 
chivalrous way he was with and towards me.  He was very easy to talk to.  His 
way of thinking was very similar to mine.  Another quality that attracted me 
was his beautiful and selfless heart could be seen in his personality.

#4.  The last time I was attracted to an unknown man I particularly liked his 
confidence because it was not arrogant.  I also liked his sincerity in who he is 
and his subtle yet honest attraction towards me, not in what he might get from 
me.  The most important factor was that he was a trustworthy and respectful man.  
A mutual friend had introduced us, so I knew that if they were good friends he 
had to be a great guy.

#4. What attracts me the most from my current partner was his 
strong personality. He was the  first guy whom I found not to fall 
for my  ability to argue any point, and I found this extremely 
attractive. Before I had argued with so many guys from religion to 
sex and most of them would eventually run out of things to say, my 
boyfriend however,  caught on to my 'game' early on and decided he 
was not going to waste his time arguing "nonsense"  as he  stated 
so he left. His ability to show me that I was not going to get 
what I wanted from him, that he would not do almost everything I  
would ask  of him  made me realize that I needed someone with  a 
stronger temper and character  than my own and I found the 
challenge extremely exciting.

#5. this question is the same as # 2. As I said before I 
think a guy's strength is his strength as well as his 
lighthearted calmer perspective on situations. His 
weaknesses are often his fear of commitment, emotions, and 
facing the truth. 

#5 I think that males are more physically and emotionally stronger than 
females. However, also I think that they are also mentally weaker as well.

#5 There strengths are their sense of true friendship and what they would do for 
a friend in need (girls are much more petty and jealous behind each others 
backs).  Guys have a weakness when it comes to losing a game against a 
girl...geez it is just a game!!!!

#5 In my opinion, males possess strong problem solving abilities. Most 
males are ready for a challenge and they are always eager to find a solution. 
This decisive characteristic allows them to get things done in an efficient, 
timely manner. On the other hand, though, I feel that this strength can often 
result in their weakness: the inability to listen patiently to a woman. Many 
times a man will try to offer quick fix-it solutions to a woman's troubles 
instead of just providing a sympathetic ear. Women like to be reassured and 
comforted, not analyzed and "solved." 

#5.  The strengths that males have are that they are physically stronger then 
women.  They offer different perspectives on situations.  They are less 
emotional than females.  However being less emotional also is a weakness for 
them too.  There are times when you want the guy to be emotional.  Another 
weakness they have is that they think with their hormones.   

#5	The strengths of the opposite include: being a good friend, bringing a 
different perspective to situations, being laid back, and being brutally honest.  
The weaknesses include being cocky, being close-minded about women, and not 
being able to understand many feelings 
that women have.

#5  The strengths of the opposite sex are as follows.  I feel that the 
opposite sex isn't as easily offended as my gender and to me that is a 
strength. If someone was to offend me, I would take it the worst way and 
probably be upset for the rest of the day.  However the opposite sex wouldn't 
really care and probably forget about it within a few minutes.
	Not being able to articulate ones feelings is a weakness of the 
opposite sex.  I feel that the opposite sex has just as many feelings in 
regards to love as my gender does, but they feel that silence is the best 
way. I personally feel that the reason why most of the opposite sex doesn't 
express their feelings, is because they are insecure and afraid of getting 
hurt.  They don't want to risk being dumped.  The don't want to loose 
face/their pride.  To me that is another weakness in itself.

#5.        I feel that the strengths of the males are their ability to be 
handy around the house and fix things, the feeling of safety they bring to me 
when I am around them, their diverse sense of humor, and their gentleman–like 
qualities.  Another strength of males is the feeling they give to you when you 
are in love.  Other strengths are their confidence, their physical and emotional 
strength, and their aspirations to secure the family.  
	The weaknesses of males consist of their lack of sensitivity, their 
inability to show emotions, their dual personality, their need to be "macho" in 
front of the guys, and the games they play instead of being direct with a woman.  
Men are just not clued in as much when it comes to emotions, whether it be 
sharing them or understanding them.  As mentioned before, the majority of males 
need to put on a front when with their peers, yet they can act different when 
around a woman.  Males also tend to play games because they either don't know 
what they want, or they do know what they want, yet they like to string it all 
along. 

#5.	The strengths of men are that they can stereotypically fix things and 
protect you from harm from others.  They also are good problem-solvers and can 
are much more direct when they are angry with you.  Some weaknesses of men are 
that they lack communication skills.  Though they can be very direct they can 
rarely think of the right thing to say.  Men also sometimes feel they must prove 
themselves by doing feats of strength and other things to impress people.

#5.  Strengths:  that they can take care of us, they are stronger, that they are 
physically attractive to us, and that they admire our bodies.  Weaknesses:  
think with their dicks, check out other girls constantly, need constant 
reassurance, and sometimes want us to be their mothers.

#5	Strengths - Offer a different and fresh perspective on things (love, 
life, etc.), seem to offer a balance to the feminine spirit and way, seem more 
motivated in many areas, 
	Weaknesses - Sometimes have a difficult time expressing their feelings, 
don't know how to relate to women (see them as a different species), have a hard 
time focusing on and remembering more than one thing (while women can balance a 
whole lot of things at once).

#5	The strengths and weaknesses of the opposite sex can be compared to 
what I like and dislike about the opposite sex.  I like that guys are 
confident, direct, and offer a very different perspective.  I think guys are 
less critical and more spontaneous.  

Weaknesses could be their fear of commitment, inability to be completely 
honest, emotional immaturity and forgetfulness.

#5  The strongest characteristics of males are that they are, in 
general, stronger than women, that they have a certain determination 
that seems to be unique, that when they discover something to be 
enthusiastic about they can be quite passionate, and that most men 
have a definite sense of adventure.  
    Qualities that I would consider to be weaknesses of the male sex 
are that along with determination comes stubbornness, that they seem 
to be more selfish than women, that their enthusiasm can sometimes 
lead to arrogance, and that their sense of adventure can sometimes
make them downright dangerous.

#5 I believe the weaknesses of the opposite sex is their lack of 
communication skills. Like I have said before, it is really hard 
for guys to express their emotions and feelings. I think the 
strengths of the opposite sex is that they seem to be able to 
analyze situations easier then girls do. I also think guys know 
when to stay focused and get things done.

#5 Strengths: Lack of need or desire to conform to society- By this I mean that 
men do not feel the pressure women do about what "society" wants them to be. 
They are not for the most part, concerned with being thin, beautiful, or about 
looking like what they media/magazines tell them they should. Men act like 
themselves, and as long as they are happy, they do not care much for what 
society is saying.  Another strength is how men stick together and will back 
each other up on just about everything. Even men who have never met will defend 
each other, simply for the fact that they are men. This characteristic can be 
seen in many different instances- in the workplace, in a family, or in a social 
atmosphere. 
Weaknesses: Spending time with family. To many men, the family is something held 
together by women.Most men do not care for family gatherings or birthday 
parties; such planned and scheduled activities infringe on them being able to do 
what they want. Also, most men are the heads of the household making more money 
than their wife, which often results in them spending more time out of the 
house, and away from their family.

#5.  The strengths of the opposite sex are support and security the 
weaknesses are lack of emotion and communication.

#5.  I think a man's biggest strength is his ability to love women.  Some men 
have this deep respect and admiration of the female species.  Women put them 
through so much, and yet they love us even more.  In the same respect, however, 
I feel that a man's biggest weakness is his love of women.  When a man is truly 
in love, he is more vulnerable than any woman.  Women are their strength and 
their weakness...and that is what keeps them coming back.

#5.  Men's strengths include their physical attributes - especially when they 
take care of them, their ways of being able to understand concepts and put them 
into action (concepts other than relationship concepts, that is), their sense of 
humor, their way of forgiving, their ease at which they can appease either a 
person or a crowd of people, and the way they can meet new people.

Men's weaknesses include they way they don't always understand what is going 
on around them, the way they get completely involved in what they are doing 
that they forget the other important things around them, the ease with which 
they give into temptation, their stubbornness, their belief that they are 
always right, and the warped way they sometimes look at the world.

#5  The strengths of males are: their ability to not get on people's cases 
(they do not whine as much as girls, they just take life as it is), males are 
doers and fixers and are really great at figuring out technical things, males 
are carefree.  The weaknesses of males are; their hormones, their inability 
to do more than one thing at a time, and they suck at communicating, and they 
always forget everything!

#5 Men are usually physically stronger that a woman. Also, they tend to be 
less emotional. This is a doubled edged sward. In a crisis they may keep a 
level head more easily than a woman. However, over time, all of these stuffed 
emotions can lead to a lot of excess baggage.

#5.  Men's strengths are that they are blunt, don't over-analyze things, they 
develop faster friendships than woman and are able to keep these friendships for 
longer periods of time. The weaknesses of men are that they are too caught up in 
trying to keep their macho image, they can be insensitive because of this. Men 
are also very visual leaving them focused on a woman's outer appearance rather 
than her inner qualities which have a much longer expiration date. 

#5.  Male strengths include being able to take control of a situation.  They 
don't complicate anything.  Males are very independent and easygoing.  

        Male weaknesses usually revolve around their emotions.  They don't 
know exactly how to express them verbally and I think it crates a lot of 
frustration for them.  Jealousy has always been, in my opinion, the worst 
weakness a man can have. I feel males tend to want to take it out on the 
female for the insecurities they as males may be feeling.

#5.  I think that men's strength is their stability in general.  Emotionally, 
they can usually be objective and try to be more realistic that dramatic.  Their 
job security and opportunity in corporate America is a lot more secure than a 
female's.  They can take things in stride, so as not to overwhelm themselves.   
They won't take on more than they think they can handle. Again, these are 
general statements.Men's weaknesses are their hormones and lack of 
communication.  Men can often be led into deep trouble because they let their 
hormones make their decisions.  Many times without considering the consequences.  
Lack of communication can cause problems because men aren't comfortable 
expressing themselves perhaps due to restrictions that society imposes on them.

#5. A strength of the opposite sex, according to my perspective is 
that  they can have more freedom when sleeping around  and not be 
criticized  by this, as opposed to women who are immediately label 
as 'tramps' or 'sluts' if they  more sexual partners. The main 
weakens is perhaps that they have not yet realized  that all we 
want is to be listened to, even if they do not agree with our 
views.

#6. A time when I think I was unfairly treated by members of 
the opposite sex occurred when I was 15 years old. It was 
the first time I really experienced male chauvinism. My dad 
coached boy's hockey team and one day I came to the 
practice, I asked my dad if I could play on the ice with 
the guys. My dad said yes but many of the guys snickered 
because they believed a girl who was weaker could never be 
as good as them in a physically rough male oriented game 
such as hockey. The attitudes that were projected that day 
displayed how even at a young age boys believe that girls 
are too fragile and much weaker than they are. 

#6 I once had a teacher that I think treated his male students better than 
his female ones. In this class each student had to turn in a project. The class, 
after viewing each project voted on how good the project was. Several female 
students received excellent reviews. Two or three of the males in our class got 
poor reviews because it was obvious that they did not put in an honest effort. 
One male student did not even complete his assignment. A week later we were all 
comparing grades and it became apparent that all the males in our 
class received better grades then the females, even the male student who did 
not complete his project received a better grade then the "best" project created 
by a female. 

#6 My buddies would not let me play football with them because they didn't want 
to hurt me!  Bullshit, if I'm willing to play football with a butch of 6 foot 
20 year olds, I am willing to bruise.  I envy that guys can get dirty and 
sweat and get hurt and it's a great adrenaline!  Girls have to be ladies and 
fragile, and sometimes thats fun to be delicate....but I'm tired of always 
being the princess.

#6 I get very offended when men generalize all females. For instance, I 
enjoy watching sports on television and engaging in physical activities. To me, 
a ponytail and no makeup are just fine. Yet I find that men will automatically 
exclude me from participating in athletic activities because I am a female (and 
they don't want me to break a nail!). When they are watching the ball game, they 
expect me to be in the kitchen making them snacks. WHATEVER! So, to all the men 
out there I would like to say: Not all girls are frilly and prissy! 

#6.  My boyfriend had just wrapped up shooting his senior film project and I 
hadn't seen him in one week and he told me he really wanted to see me and that 
he was coming up to see him.  I had made plans to go out with my girlfriends but 
I canceled them because I wanted to spend the time with my boyfriend instead.  
Well, 9:00pm rolled by, 10:00pm went by, soon it was 12:30am in the morning and 
he hadn't come by or called me.  I tried calling him on his cell phone and I 
paged him but he never returned any of my phone calls.  I found out later he 
went out with his crew but one of the girls that liked him was there and she 
ended up passing out in his bed with him.  Needless to say I found this out and 
we are no longer together.  

#6	Yes, when I was in high school, I took my car in to get it service.  I 
asked a question about the clutch.  The service guy instead told me what the 
clutch was.  I was infuriated, of course I knew what the clutch was; I drove a 
stick shift.  The service guy treated me like I was dumb, because I was a girl.

#6 I get treated unfairly by the opposite sex almost every day.  I work in a 
restaurant and constantly get harassed by the opposite sex: who feel that 
they have the right to put their filthy claws on me. Surprisingly, they think 
that I like it even after I slap them in the face.  

#6.       A time when I was treated unfairly by a person of the opposite sex 
was with my athletic director from high school.  He would show favoritism 
towards the male sports, but when it came to me personally, he would treat me 
differently.  He would criticize me more than anyone, and tell me what I was 
doing wrong consistently.  He would also punish me by making me run more 
than my other teammates because he felt my attitude was interfering with my 
playing.  My teammates and I all saw this treatment as being unjust.  He would 
leave our practice after criticizing me and go to the guy's practice and support 
and encourage them.  It was very frustrating to go through this unfair 
treatment, but it made me appreciate my coach even more.  

#6.	One time I was going in for a job interview at a construction company.  
The man I first talked to told me that I could apply for any job I wished.  When 
I arrived he immediately told me the only position I would be eligible for was 
secretary or cleaning lady. He told me this in a very sarcastic manner.  I was 
totally offended and walked out of the place.	

#6.  Yes, when some guy tried to take advantage of me because I was under the 
influence.

#6	Other than one specific boyfriend who I had some serious problems with, 
I have always been treated well by members of the opposite sex.  When I was 
younger, the boys always invited me to play in their basketball or football 
games at recess, and I was chosen right along with or even before some guys when 
it came to picking teams.  I think it has to do with mutual honesty and respect.  
I don't do things to cause them to believe I should be treated unfairly, so they 
don't treat me any differently. 

#6	Fortunately, I don't feel like I have been the recipient of any 
extremely unfair treatment by men.  A completely trivial example did come to 
mind though!  My boyfriend was going to drive with my back to school the 
first time I brought a car to school.  My dad was telling me little things 
about the car, but as soon as my boyfriend walked into the garage my dad 
directed all his tid bits of information to my boyfriend and forgot I was in 
the room.  I was so annoyed!  And my dad was the one doing it!

#6  I was briefly seeing someone whose treatment of me was extremely
unfair, and luckily I got out very quickly.  One night, shortly after 
we started seeing each other, I made it clear to him that I did not 
want to go as far physically with him as he wanted me to.  I never 
did anything that would lead him to believe that I had ever even 
considered doing what he wanted me to do, but when I finally wouldn't 
give in, he became very angry and dragged me by my arm behind a 
building where he began shouting violently at me.  He had a glass 
bottle in his hand and threw it in my direction.  I ducked, and it 
shattered on the wall next to me.  
    After that, I ran away and didn't trust any situation where I was 
alone with a guy for a long time.  It gave me a perspective of men 
that they were violent and aggressive.  I believe men have more 
violent and aggressive tendencies than women, but I eventually came to 
trust again that not all men are completely violent and short-tempered.


#6 In my past I have been treated unfairly by the opposite sex. 
Guys have always pushed me aside. They feel I am too small and 
weak and decide that they will have to get the task done. They 
have made me feel stupid and have tried to quiet me by talking 
over me. Guys have also treated me as just another pretty girl 
who is only there for their pleasure. It is very humbling and 
made me more shy during my life. I think guys do not realize 
that what they do and say really effects others, especially 
girls.

#6 The most vivid memory of a time when the opposite sex treated me unfairly has 
to do with a card game. 

At a gathering of friends, the guys were playing cards, and the girls (wives and 
girlfriends) were in the kitchen talking and watching the kids. I was bored, and 
wanted to play cards. My Dad taught me how to play cards since I was little, and 
have become pretty good at it by now. The guys at first were hesitant about 
letting me play, but I think they changed their mind because I insisted, and 
they thought I would lose and take my money. Of course, that was not what 
happened. 

#6.  When it comes to sports, I can't stand when guys say "I'll take it easy 
on you."  Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm weak and afraid of getting 
my hands dirty.  

#6.  There are no instances specifically when I have been treated unfairly by 
men.  There may have been the usual instances, like a car mechanic talking to me 
like I don't know anything...but, then, I probably didn't know anything.  But I 
don't really worry about the masculine stereotypes of women.  If men want to 
take care of me to feed their egos, I say let them. 

#6.  I have been treated unfairly by a male in one particular incident that 
involved his libido, even though mine was not interested.  In other words, 
one time when I was really drunk because I was having fun with my friends, 
some guy waited until I was passed out until making a move and pretty much 
raping me.  This is completely unfair treatment...I have no idea what was 
going through his head to make him think that it would be all right to take 
advantage of a passed out girl, but it would have been nice if I had some 
input on the matter.  Needless to say, I am very bitter about the situation.

#6  I have definitely been the victim of a man who treated me very unfairly.  
In high school this guy told all of his friends that I slept with him and 
others when in all actuality I am a virgin and proud of it.  I was so hurt by 
that because it was only said to feed some jerk's pride, when it was not true 
at all.

#6 I have been lied to repeatedly by men. In one case the lies caused me 
severe physical and emotional harm. All of the lies had one purpose, to 
satisfy the sexual cravings of a man. My mother used to tell me that an erect 
penis has no conscience. 

#6.  Can I think of one? Piece of cake. I was a freshman in college, I was 
invited to a fraternity weekend trip, whatever those things are called, and I 
went because I made it explicitly clear that I was only going as a friend of the 
guy being that I was married at the time. I even asked my husband if it was 
okay, and he said yes, as long as the guy was clear that I was his friend only. 
Well, he was clear until that night. I spent the whole night trying 
to keep his hands off of me, the next day he wouldn't talk to me. He still holds 
it against me that I ruined his weekend, it also turns out that his friends who 
were also my close friends knew about his plan and didn't tell me because of the 
old cliché, "bro's before ho's". That was completely unfair. 

#6.  To be quite honest at the moment I can't think of any instance.

#6.  I told my friend that I had been working out at a boxing gym and he just 
chuckled.  He had a lot of experience with boxing because he has been boxing 
since he was about 10 or 12 years old.  He thought he knew al there is to know 
about that sport and that it was definitely a man's world.  He said I probably 
went to some sissy gym with an aerobic instructor who wanted to teach us self-
defense or something.  I told him that the instructors were actual fighters and 
that they also trained well-known free-style fighters at that gym.  He still 
didn't take it too seriously but at least I know it was more than he expected 
from my gym workout.

#6. Yes, before I transferred to LMU I was told by  one of the 
guys that he did not  really understood why I was willing to spend 
so much money in my education if I was going to end up getting 
married and having kids.  I remember he also stated that  I did 
not had what it took to be accepted to his school and that was the 
reason why I had applied to LMU in the first place. I found this unfair because 
he believed the stereotype that  women are not as smart as men and that our 
sole purpose in life is to get married and have kids. 

#7. Being female I would definently say sometimes has it's 
benefits because often males will give a certain advantage 
to women because they are women. The last time I think I 
benefited from being female occurred when I was stopped by 
a police officer. Even though I probably deserved a ticket 
I didn't receive one because I got emotional and upset. The 
officer I could tell felt bad for me and let me off the 
hook because I was so to speak an emotional female. 

#7 When I was in Amsterdam, I became friends with a male. On the day that I 
was supposed to leave, I had a few hours to kill so I decided to walk around the 
city to explore it a bit more by myself. My male friend would not hear of this 
and changed his plans for the day and followed me a good half an hour by train 
from his house to accompany around the city so that I "would be safe."

#7 I was at a party, and there were some guys there that none of us really knew.  
They were making me kind of uncomfortable, and my guy friends simply went up 
to them to lay off...it felt nice that they wanted to protect me.  Not that I 
don't also want to be independent, but I think any human being would 
appreciate knowing that their friends cared enough to watch out for them.

#7 Since I have known my boyfriend, I have been treated particularly well 
by him and all of his friends. They are complete gentlemen and I don't think I 
have had to open a door or pay for a meal since I met him. They are completely 
respectful of females, in general, and it makes me feel good to know that they 
are so considerate. My friends are continually amazed by the way my boyfriend 
treats them and I have finally convinced them that he is not just putting on an 
act, he is actually a true gentleman. Lucky for me, I found him first!

#7.  It was the first day at my internship and a male was also starting his 
first day.  The males in the office went out of their way to come in and help 
me, where as they didn't help the male at all that day.  They still give me more 
allowances and let me get away with more at work than they do with the male 
intern.

#7	I know that I have been treated particularly well because I am a girl, but 
I can't name one particular circumstance.  

#7 I remember being pulled over by a policeman for speeding.  I couldn't 
argue with the policeman because I was at fault.  As soon as the policeman 
walked next to my window, his frown turned into a smile.  He gave me this two 
minute lecture on speeding and decided not to give me a ticket. (Don't get me 
wrong, a little flirting helped the situation). Not only was I so relieved 
that the policeman decided not to cite me, but I also thanked myself for 
deciding to wear a short skirt that day.

#7.      A time when I was treated particularly well by a member of the 
opposite sex was one that I am sure many females are familiar with.  One night 
while I was driving home from a friend's house, I was pulled over by a cop. 
Before he flashed his lights and siren, I noticed that I was going an excessive 
speed.  When the officer pulled me over, he asked me to 
get out of the car.  He asked me a few questions whether that was my first time 
being pulled over and why I was out so late.  I told him I had never been pulled 
over, which was true and that I was at my friend's house watching a movie.  He 
then proceeded to talk to me as if I was a friend and asked 
what movie I had watched and if I had a good time that night.  I found that 
to be very strange.  Then he told me since I was such a nice young lady that he 
would let me go without a ticket.  

#7.	Every time I go to a club, I experience special treatment from men.  
Usually the bouncers at the door are male and they pick people out of the crowd 
to come in first. Almost always they're female and attractive. Once inside the 
club, women are given free drinks from the bartender and almost always a man 
will offer to buy them a drink.  I have been served alcohol from a bartender 
without having had any ID checked simply because I'm a girl.  

#7.  One guy that must have found me attractive or whatever, a friend of my best 
guy friends, opened the door to his car for me, treated me like a princess 
basically the whole time I was around him.

#7	Oh yes!  I feel almost feel badly for being female sometimes because I 
feel like we have so many unfair advantages.  Especially in a town like L.A. 
where people go clubbing and the bar scene is so big, I think women get treated 
well by men just because of their sex and how they dress.  I see it all the 
time:  a girl is at a bar and wearing a tight dress and she will get free drinks 
all night.  Now, probably these men are not buying them for her because she 
seems like such an intelligent and swell gal, but more because a drunk woman is 
a woman who is more likely to go home with them that night, but nevertheless, 
they do receive the drinks.  Also, some men seem to turn to spineless jelly 
in the presence of a woman just because she is good looking.  A woman can 
milk a man for a lot if she says the right things.
	Now personally, I don't feel right about taking advantage of a 
situation just because of my gender - something I had no control over anyway - 
but I have experienced some of the perks of being a woman.  I've been offered 
free drinks, been let into parties or clubs just because I was a girl, been let 
into the front of lines, and been treated to dinners (when I'm with a group of 
my guy friends).

#7	Another trivial example:  Guy bartenders are more likely to give girls 
free drinks!

#7  At school, I have discovered that it is easier to become friends 
with the opposite sex because they are more welcoming of females into 
their group than of males, and also more welcoming than the females 
are of other females that they do not know.  I have found that guys 
don't make the same effort to invite and get to know other guys as 
they do the girls that they meet.  For me, guys have seemed extremely 
friendly and interested in what I have to say, and it often occurs to 
me that it is simply because I'm a girl.  It's hard to know, in that 
situation, if the person is being sincere, or if he has something else 
in mind.

#7 I guess I can say that I have been treated well just because 
of my gender. Guys have helped me with certain things or 
problems just because I was a girl. They have gone out of their 
way to do simple tasks for me that I know would have never been 
done for me if I was of the opposite sex. I think sometimes I 
take for granted the things guy friends do for me, but I do know 
I appreciate it. I notice it when guys do go out of their way to 
open a door or pull out a chair for me just because I am a girl. 
I have even gotten things for free because I was a girl. I do 
not think anything is wrong with being treated well as long as 
it is all balanced equally between both sexes.

#7 I feel that every time I go to get my car serviced I get treated very well 
(courteous service, very friendly attendants) simply because I am female and the 
individual working on my car is male. He probably feels pity towards me and sees 
me as a "helpless woman" who probably doesn't know anything about cars. For the 
most part, they are right, but I won't ever say "yes" to them when they tell me 
I need some kind of major work done without asking my Dad first.

#7.  When I go to bars the bouncer always lets me in even though he knows I 
have a fake i.d.  When I get inside the bar I don't have to pay for any 
drinks because guys always offer to pay.

#7.  As before, I also cannot place an instance where I was treated 
particularly well by a man.  I always enjoy approaching a building and having a 
perfect stranger open the door for me...but there are no specific instances that 
stand out.  In general, I like the way men treat me.  Whether as a friend or 
more, men respect me as a woman and are always there to open my door, dry my 
tears, protect me,...or kill spiders for me.

#7.  There have been times when I was treated very well by men because I am a 
female.  For instance, this one guy who wanted to take me out would call me 
up and ask me what I wanted to do, if he could fly me somewhere (he was a 
pilot), if he could take me out, if he could do me a favor and drive me 
places when I needed a ride, etc.  He would open doors for me, pay for my 
meals or whatever, and treat me like a total lady.  I know he was interested 
in me and therefore was not doing this all for nothing, but it was nice to 
know that I had such an effect on a man.  Obviously, he would not just do 
this for anyone, especially not for a male.  It is nice to know that chivalry 
could still be alive.

#7  One of the instances that I was treated very well by the opposite sex is 
when my boyfriend went to the store at three in the morning to buy me some 
Immodium and some Gatorade (can you imagine what the store clerk thought), 
when I was up all night with stomach problems.  We were sleeping and he got 
out of bed, got dressed and drove to the store and back, just because he 
wanted me to feel better.  This is gender related because guys are fixers, 
even if they do not understand something (they do not analyze things like 
girls do, they simply want to make things better.)

#7 I used to work in a traditionally male type job. At times it involved hard 
physical labor. There were three men on the job that were very nice. Often 
they would help me if I needed it. They also would look after me and protect 
me from some of the men that tended to be crass.

#7.  I was attacked about a year and a half ago, right before I entered my 
Junior year of college. My boyfriend was unbelievable about the trauma I was 
experiencing and the feelings I was having towards men. He would hold me when I 
woke up from nightmares. He'd follow me home when it was late at night, he'd 
even come to therapy sessions with me and give the doctor information that I may 
have blocked out. I still have nightmares, and he is always there to wake me up 
and talk me out of the terror. He was a pillar of strength for me, and not once 
angry towards me for being weak, or being too emotional. 

#7.  Yes, on several occasions males have treated me well because I am a 
female.  For example, one time I was carrying my bags to go home for the 
weekend and I dropped one.  Two males helped me pick up my things and then 
carried all of them for me all the way to my car.

#7.  I used to work for a process instrumentation company in which 99% of the 
employees were males.  Although they didn't harass me in an offensive manner, 
they would make it a real point to behave differently around me.  They were 
especially nice and courteous, stopped cursing around me, opened doors, ran 
errands for me, addressed me 'yes ma'am' or 'no ma'am', etc.  Fortunately, it 
was a real pleasant form of treatment but it was really obvious that 
they treated me that way because I was a female.  They didn't want me to do 
anything too difficult because it was as if they thought I might break or 
heavens forbid 'get dirty'.  It was like having a bunch of older, overprotective 
brothers. 

#7. I usually get treated better than guys do when shopping or 
just when requesting some type of customer service. This past 
Christmas for instance, I was able to obtain plenty of discounts 
in most of my gifts just because I started a conversation with the  
guys providing me assistance.

#8.I do not put moves on guys so I never was rejected in 
that sense. The only instance I felt rejected was when my 
first boyfriend broke up with me. I think he broke up with 
me in a sensitive way because he was nice about it and he 
told me to my face yet he was unfair because for several 
weeks he tried to avoid the breakup. 

#8 Not to brag or anything, but I have never been rejected. This is because 
the only person that I have been attracted to is still my boyfriend.

#8 I had a guy tell me that he couldn't date me because his friend had a crush 
on me.... In this case, I did not like the friendship loyalty thing....that 
wasn't fair to me...I liked this guy and we were hitting it off, then his 
friend (who I barely know and am not attracted to ) likes me and he can't 
date me anymore....I'm alone because someone was being a good friend, and I 
had no say in the matter.

#8 When I was in high school I was completely infatuated with a guy who 
was on the football team. We were close friends and I really valued the 
relationship I shared with him. One of my close girlfriends decided that she, 
too, liked him. Although she knew I had feelings for him, she went ahead and put 
her "moves" on him. He instantly fell for her games and I was absolutely 
devastated to find out that they had become a couple. To make matter worse, the 
friendship I once had with him immediately began to dissolve. I had never felt 
so rejected in my life! He became extremely distant and removed from all 
of his old friends. This immediate change in behavior was heartbreaking and I 
was very disappointed in him. Perhaps he should have thought about maintaining 
his friendships before he sacrificed them all for a superficial relationship 
with someone he barely even knew. Needless to say, the relationship did not last 
long, but our friendship was never the same after this. 

#8.  It took a few times of the guy I like ignoring me to know that I had been 
rejected.  I thought everything was fine, but then one day when I saw him, he 
just decided not to talk to me at all.  No communication, nothing was said at 
all but after a few more times of him not acknowledging me existence I knew that  
I had been rejected. 
 
#8	I was in love with this guy my senior year of high school.  We went were 
dating for about two months.  However, he gave me the big rejection.  Every time 
I was out of town he hook up with some other girl and then lie to me about it.  
I have never been rejected harder than this.

#8 I was dating this person for about two months who I thought was 
relationship potential.  This person was extremely persistant.  This person 
visited me at work and constantly called to express his feelings towards me. 
We did things such as go to San Fransisco at night just to have dinner at my 
favorite restaurant and go on rides on his motorcycle so that we can find a 
secluded area to play our guitars. During these two months, there was 
absolutely no physical contact with each other; just hugs of goodbye.  In 
fact this person didn't even attempt to try any physical contact.  I thought 
this person was perfect for me, but boy was I stupid.  I found out what type 
of person that person really was when one day this person pretty much jumped 
on top of me. (What a freak) I pushed the opposite sex off of me and the 
dialog went like this:
	Opposite sex:  What is wrong with you?
	Me: So now I know who you really are. All the things that 
           you Said to me were just fillers for this moment.
	Opposite sex: What, did you think that I was going to be your 
                    boyfriend?
	Me: I though you were so different from everybody, but you're                     
	     not. You are just like everybody else. 
      Opposite sex: Well, you know how people are.  You 're an intelligent 
		Person. I think you should leave.
Ah, hello. Where the hell did that come from. I was rejected by this person 
because I didn't give in to him.  This person could have apologized to me and 
stopped the fake romance as soon as this person recognized what type of 
person I was/am and explain that we wouldn't be a good match.  Instead I was 
treated like s-t.  Because this person was denied by me, he denied me back.

#8.      A recent incident when I was rejected by a person of the opposite 
sex was when I wanted to get back together with my ex-boyfriend.   He rejected 
me by saying that he wasn't in love with me anymore and that he didn't want to 
get back together.  He said I had hurt him too much the last time I broke up 
with him, and that he couldn't go through that again.  I do not feel that his 
behavior was inconsiderate or rude, but I did feel that he was being very 
insensitive as to how I would feel after he told me this.  The way he said it 
was very blunt and to the point, offering no remorse or emotion to show that he 
cared for me.  I felt completely heart-broken after he told me this.  I felt as 
if I had lost everything, the love of my life, and my best friend.  I think he 
could have gone about this in a better manner because he told me just out of the 
blue, with no warning while we were dating.  He could have sat me down and 
explained to me why he felt this way and what led him to this point, but 
instead, it seemed as though he had just dropped a bomb on me.  

#8.	In ninth grade, I had the biggest crush on this guy Shawn.  Like any other 
obsessive girl I knew his entire schedule and strategically placed myself in the 
halls he would be in almost all the time.  This even got hard sometimes because 
I would have to sprint out of my classes to get there to see him.  Even though 
it was kind of pathetic, I really liked him so I started to become friends 
with his friends to get closer to him.
	This all blew up in my face when one day he turned around and blatantly 
told me to stop following him around.  He asked me if I was trying to be his 
shadow because all of the sudden I was everywhere he was.  He said I was 
annoying and he didn't like me anyway so why was I always around him.	

#8.  It was pretty blunt and rude.  Pretty much he just stopped calling me and 
didn't return my phone calls.  He basically just didn't want to deal with me or 
the situation.  Pretty immature.

#8	Not to try to make myself look good or anything, but just to be honest, 
I have not been rejected by a guy, but I think it doesn't have to do with the 
fact that I am a woman and more to do with who I am as a person.  I think I only 
pursue realistic and probable relationships and only guys I am really attracted 
to, and I do not become fully attracted to someone until I know them pretty well 
(well enough to know whether or not he likes me and whether or not a 
relationship would work).

#8	A guy I really liked had just gotten out of a serious relationship and 
told me that he wasn't ready to start a new one.  I was disappointed but 
completely understood.  Until he kept flirting with me then an hour later 
would completely ignore me.  Then he acted like he didn't even know who I 
was.  Then he would want us to be together again. What???  It was extremely 
confusing, hurtful, and embarrassing!  He could have handled it better by 
being honest with himself as well as me.  It also would have helped if he was 
strong enough to realize he didn't know what he wanted and to not string me 
along while he figured it out.

#8  In high school, I was supposed to go to a formal with a person I 
really liked, and I was very excited.  To me, it seemed as though he 
was excited to.  Then, to my surprise, I heard from a friend of mine 
that my date had told someone that he was going to the dance with a 
different girl.  When I confronted him about it, he simply said, 
"Oh yeah, I was meaning to tell you about that."  I felt his manner 
of dealing with the situation was extremely inconsiderate and rude.  
    If he really would have rather gone with another girl, it would 
have been much better for me if he would have been honest with me at 
the beginning, or at least at some point.  If I hadn't mentioned it 
to him, there is no way of telling when or how he would have broken 
the news to me. I believe that, at least in most cases, honesty 
really is the best policy, and communication really is one of the 
most important things.

#8 Rejection is always hurtful in some way. When I broke up with 
my first serious boyfriend I felt rejection. Even though we had 
our problems I still could not help feeling like the reason why 
things didn't work out was because of something was not right 
with me. I soon realized that it is natural to feel that way at 
first but that we broke up because we both had to figure out how 
to communicate better. He was very insensitive by ignoring me 
and saying mean comments about me. I now wish we could have been 
more mature about the situation. We are now really good friends. 
I think it just took time to realize that we hurt each other and 
that we could forgive and move on and learn from it.

#8 Experiencing rejection is painful… regardless of why one was rejected. The 
example I am thinking of is about someone I worked with and ended spending a lot 
of time with because of that. There was an obvious attraction between both of 
us, but I came to find out that he was in a committed relationship, in 
which he was happy. It became an issue of bad timing. He had an interest, but 
was happy where he was. I myself am not one to rock the boat- I knew I was 
attracted to him but I did not know him well enough to say that 
I had a long-term interest, or that I would be better for him than his current 
girlfriend. Also, the fact that we worked together played a very important role 
in us leaving our attraction as just that, and continued being friends.

#8.  I had been dating a guy for about two months and he just stopped 
returning my phone calls.  He was too much of a wuss to break up with me in 
person or at least over the phone so he just avoided me.  This was extremely 
rude and inconsiderate.  I was very hurt and felt degraded.

#8.  My whole life has been compiled of rejection after rejection by men.  
From age 11, when my big sixth grade crush told me I still looked ugly without 
my glasses, I have developed callouses against rejection.  I cannot however say 
that there was ever a specific instance when I was rejected by a man.  This is 
simply because I have never made a move to be rejected.  I wait for them to make 
the move, and therefore do not leave myself open for rejection.

#8.  I was rejected by a male who I was attracted to last semester.  It was 
weird, because we were friends, then he made a move on me, then we were 
"involved" without being together, and then there was nothing.  He knew I 
liked him, or else we would not have done what we did.  But whenever I came 
to him, asking him why he wouldn't go out with me, he just turned the 
conversation into psychological bull and ignored the question.  He rejected 
me by not making me the special person who I was--he kept me as an object, 
and showed me that that was my place when I asked about me being something 
more.  He kept our whole situation on the down-low, as if he was not proud of 
me.  I felt like the object that I was, and it made me quite upset to know 
that I would never be anything more to this guy who I was interested in.  I 
learned some lessons, though, about not getting involved if you want a 
relationship, because guys lose respect for girls who give themselves up too 
easily - even if it is out of hope for more.  It would have been nicer if he 
had just told me that we were only going to be friends and that I shouldn't 
hope for more.  That way the charade would have stopped and I would have had 
more self-esteem.  But instead I got the boot.

#8  I have not been rejected, because normally I get guys when I am not even 
looking for them.

#8 I was rejected by a man once after we had enjoyed spending the evening 
together. When I went back to his place, and he found out that we would not 
be having sex, he told me that he had enough platonic women friends and he 
walked me to my car. I felt like I was just a p***y with legs. I think the 
most considerate thing would be to not be treated like an object in the first 
place. I don't know if there is an easy way to reject someone. I have had a 
man brush me off before. That also can be painful. I think the kindest thing 
to do would be to say something like, "You are a very nice person, but I 
don't think that we have very much in common." 

#8.  I've never been rejected by the opposite sex. 

#8.  My first love, I felt rejected me when he broke up with me.  His 
behavior towards me before and during the time was very cold. He was also 
abrupt and purposely trying to be hurtful towards me by being inconsiderate 
and uncaring.  It made me feel incompetent as a person, and very hurt. 

       I would have approached the situation differently because he never 
really explained to me why he wanted to break up he just did.  I would have 
confronted him as soon as possible and just have been honest with him about 
my feelings and intentions. I would have been careful that I didn't make him 
feel like a failure, I would have chosen my words carefully.

#8.  Honestly, this has never happened to me because I'm pretty good at 
determining whether or not a man is attracted to me or not.  Fortunately, I 
haven't been wrong yet!

#8. The last time I was rejected I was  rejected because the 
person I was interested in already had a girlfriend of about three 
years and he did not want to hurt either of us. At fist I felt so 
rejected, but eventually I appreciated his honesty and 
faithfulness to his girlfriend.

#9. This does not apply to me because I do not make the 
first move. 

#9 I would try to get into a light hearted conversation with him and then 
pose a serious question and see if he would be able to answer honestly. Then 
change the mood to being serious and ask him he was being serious. Once I heard 
a yes, I would say, "ok, let's go!"

#9 Little things seem to work for me, like leaning in closer to him, or kind of 
brushing up against him...or simply grabbing his hand if I feel bold enough.  
That can back fire though.,...because if I am attracted to a guy in a 
platonic way...I can accidently give mixed signals.

#9 I would influence this person to become physically intimate by flirting 
heavily with him. I would find ways to touch him gently and become physically 
closer to him. For instance, I would stand closer to him if we were waiting in 
line or I would rub his thigh if we were riding in the car. Any excuse to touch 
him would send immediate messages. I would also make use of my eyes to entice 
him and perhaps a few verbal suggestions would peak his interest and ultimately 
result in intimacy.

#9. I would flirt with the guy and let him know that I thought he was cute.  
When I use the term flirting, I mean I would touch him periodically.  However 
that is all that I would do.  I wouldn't make the first move or kiss him first.  
I would wait for him to kiss me. 
 
#9	I would give the guy big puppy eyes, and be as close to him as possible 
every moment that I got a chance.  I would be very flirtatious and as cute as I 
could be.  I would just want to kiss, and I just expect only a kiss for the 
first contact, so I am not sure how to influence this matter.

#9 I am very sorry, but I can't answer this question for you because I 
personally would never initiate any kind of physical intimacy towards the 
opposite sex.  I feel that my gender should never initiate, regardless of how 
attracted they are to the opposite sex.  To me that is classless.

#9.      If I were on this date and it seemed to be going very well and I 
wanted to become more physically intimate, I would start giving hints that I was 
attracted to this pperson and that I wanted to take it to the next level.  I 
would start flirting more, and giving him "the look" that I wanted something to 
happen.  If the guy were not picking up on these signals, yet we were still 
having a good time, I would make the move and kiss him.  If he responded by 
kissing me back then I would let the guy take over from there because I made the 
first move.  

#9	I would first try to drop lots of hints that it would be okay for him to 
kiss me if he wanted to.  If that didn't work, then I would try tickling him.  
Many times if you initiate roughhousing it can lead to kissing and physical 
intimacy.  I would also stand closer to him when we were talking and try to get 
him to give me a massage.

#9.  By bringing up the possibility of drinking.  Sorry to say but alcohol 
usually always has to be the icebreaker in all situations.  I know that nothing 
bad is going to happen with this guy because obviously I have known him long 
enough, and now all that I  need is for our inhibitions to be knocked down.

#9	I would be straightforward and direct (but try to be sensual at the 
same time!) and say something simple like "Can I kiss you?" and pull him close 
to me.  This would do more than suggest that I was attracted to him and liked 
him and wanted to be intimate.  Then, if it started going further, I would use 
body language (or words if he didn't get the hint) to let him know I don't want 
things to go further.

#9	I would sit close to him and try to be as near him as possible.  I 
would try to make as much eye contact with as possible and smile a lot.  I'm 
not really sure I would do much more and would leave it up to him to make the 
first move.

#9  In this situation, if I truly felt comfortable with this person, 
I would initiate the action of holding his hand first and try to 
give him "hints" that I would like him to kiss me.  This is very 
vague, but somehow it seems that through particular body language, 
it is possible to let someone know that you are physically attracted 
to them.  Certain looks or playful innocent ways of touching a person 
on the arm or the back suggests to the man that the woman is at least 
somewhat comfortable with physical contact.  
    Though I prefer not initiating a kiss, if my feelings are strong 
enough for a person, and I'm somewhat confident that my feelings will 
be returned, I will initiate the kiss.  That is most likely to happen 
only if I believe that the guy's only reason for not "making a move" 
is shyness or uncertainty.  In most cases, I will try to make the guy 
comfortable with making an attempt by giving particular signals, but 
that is as far as I will usually go.  I'm still somewhat "old
fashioned" in preferring that the male be the one to initiate the 
physical aspect.

#9 I think I would try to be myself and more out going then 
usual. One thing that bothers me about myself though is that I 
become shy when it comes to becoming physical. I know I must 
drive guys crazy, but I can't help it. I do feel that I do not 
lead guys on though. I believe if I wanted things to go to a 
different level I would flirt with him and tease him in a 
friendly way. I might even grab his hand, but that's about as 
far as I would lead. I would also try to talk about certain 
subject in which I might get him to let me know where he stands 
on the whole idea of us becoming closer in an intimate way.

#9 Situation1: In this situation, I would re-examine my actions. Am I showing my 
feelings, or am I keeping them to myself? By this I mean, am I flirting and/or 
flirting back with my date? This includes, smiling, laughing, and making the 
attempt to brush their hand or shoulder during conversation. A lot 
of flirting is in body language. Am I acting cold or tuning away, or keeping my 
hands in my lap or arms crossed, making it impossible for my date to hold my 
hand? I will flirt in such ways I have described above, but I am not daring 
enough as to go and kiss my date first.

#9.  I would influence this person to become physically intimate by flirting 
a little more than usual, sitting or standing closer than usual, and 
accidently exposing a little more skin.

#9.  As I said before, I have never been one to make a move.  This includes 
making a move towards physical intimacy with a man.  I am however known as a 
flirt, and I can let a guy know what I want without having to make a move.  If 
the date was going well, the man would know I was interested.  I would hold eye 
contact, make some physical contact, ...basically, it's all in the eyes.  He 
would just know.  But it wouldn't be any sort of move.  It would be a night-long 
process.

#9.  If I wanted to influence a date to become physically intimate, I would 
get very flirty with him.  I would smile flirtatiously a lot and make every 
excuse to touch him or brush against him.  I would grab his hand to hold it, or 
hold onto his upper arm in a "possessive" yet intimate way.  I would stand close 
to him and whisper in his ear...be giggly and cute to let him know where my 
interest was.  If things started getting physically intimate, I would then go 
with the flow until I was uncomfortable.  If it was a good situation, I would 
talk with the guy before things got too far to let him know what was okay with 
me.  If we did not talk and things started going too fast, I would just stop 
him by holding his hands off of me and telling him that it was too much for 
the first step.

#9  This is a situation I would never truly take part in, only because I am 
pretty modest about physical intimacy and even shy.  I would rather want the 
guy to talk about it with me first before trying anything.  And if their was 
physical attraction, I would expect him to make the first move and on his own 
timing (keeping in consideration my timing as well).

#9 I would swing my high-heel shoe on the tip of my toe as I rocked my leg 
back and forth nonchalantly. Then, I would lean forward and look deep into 
his eyes while I talked with him. I would laugh at his jokes. Without looking 
too obvious, I would gently touch his forearm or leg whenever possible.

#9.  I would start with eye contact, and note how along he did keep my gaze. 
I'd also start to use more body contact, like touching him. Then there's the no-
fail things like laughing a lot, or licking my lips, or playing with my hair, 
you know the real obvious things if all the other things fail. I've gone as far 
to just lean over and kiss my date, or ask him for a kiss. Uhm, as far as 
persuading him to go as far as I've wanted, I'd just continue to make 
further moves until I reached the point that I wanted to reach. I hate to say 
it, but I've never had a man tell me that we were "moving too quickly".

#9.  I would influence him by making more eyes contact and smiling more.  I 
would also try to get physically closer to the person.  For example, by 
sitting by him to create more direct contact.  Also, the tone in my voice 
would suggest to him that I was comfortable with him.  From my experience its 
really the closer you are to someone of the opposite sex, something 
internally starts to kick in whether you want it to or not. Body language is 
a very powerful thing.

#9.  This would be easy because women usually determine when to give this type 
of message and how far to take it.  If I thought this man really was interested 
in me (determined by the way he treats me, talks to me, etc.), I would just 
speak to him closely, softly, take his hand when we share a good joke or are 
walking down the street, ask him to come over to my place, etc.  Typically, 
unless you totally misread this guy's intentions (meaning he' not interested), a 
man will quickly react to these types of actions in a satisfactory manner.  

#9. I would not try to influence anything I would just act upon my 
de