----------------------------------------------- QUESTION #1. Think about the previous interactions you have had with the opposite sex. Has a situation ever occurred with someone of opposite sex that you found deeply puzzling and/or incomprehensible? And which you also think is somehow a function of that person's gender (not just the specific individual involved)? If so, think about what happened, and the behaviors, cognitions, motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you found particularly puzzling. 1. There have been several interactions with someone of the opposite sex that I have found puzzling. There was one occasion when I invited my lady friend to a personal reflection retreat. She seemed to be having some personal problems that were way out of her control. I shared with her that I thought it would be a good idea for her to join me at this retreat and that perhaps the retreat would help her deal with those issues. She seemed to be offended by the fact that someone other than herself was able to identify her shortcomings. She shared with me that she did not understand what was happening to her. I listened to her, then suggested that perhaps the retreat would provide her with some guidance on how to confront her issues. She angrily accused me of seeing her as incompetent of overcoming her issues on her own because she is a woman. #1. In all my interactions with the opposite sex the one thing that puzzles me is their sudden mood changes. Nothing bothers me more than when my girlfriend or any of my female friends are in a good mood, and then all of a sudden they turn to she- devils. And not only at that time of the month. It seems like everyday. The times that this really bothers me is when my girlfriend is in a good mood and I say one word that she takes the wrong way and all of a sudden my life is a living hell. Girls need to choose a mood, not one or two for the hour, but one. #1. There have been previous interactions where the opposite sex has found me puzzling and things of that nature. The main reason for this is they did not know what aspect I was coming from and my thoughts behind it. I think it did have to do with their gender because we do think differently as different sexes. It can also be the opposite where I have found the opposite somewhat puzzling because they're coming from a different aspect than I am. #1. I do not remember any interactions with anyone that were particularly puzzling. I certainly don't think that any that I may have had would be due to the persons gender. --------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #2. In general, what do you like about the opposite sex? What do you dislike? #2 I like the affection a woman provides. The nurturing tenderness a woman is able to give out feels wonderful. I also like the soft and gentle skin of most women. I like the way women seem to be more in touch with their emotions. I particularly dislike the sudden mood changes most women experience. Also, the way that most women are overly critical about themselves and others. #2. First off, what I like about girls are their bodies or more so their physiological differences from males. Secondly, the one thing that I really like is they are not egotistical or arrogant, like males. I also like how nurturing, loving and affectionate they can be. I like how generally most females are ambitious or goal oriented. They also know how to express their emotions. I also like the cute faces they make when they want something or begging for something. As for dislikes females are too critical of themselves thinking that they are too fat or some crazy idea like that. Then there is all the drama that they go through or even the drama that they create. What really annoys me is having to wait for 3 days for a girl to ready to go to a movie, and then we are late and walking in during the beginning of the movie with no seats left. Most of the time, I dislike how manipulative women can be. Trying to get you to do this and that. Then there is the communication problem, if you they want something they just say it and not take a week to get it out. #2. What I like about the opposite is obviously physical. I like that they are, in general, different. We think differently and act differently. We are a lot alike, but what I like most is the differences. I dislike, however, that they don't understand that we are pretty much different and think in different ways. We have to understand that the two sexes are different other than just physically. #2. Once again, I don't think that any specific traits can be said to be attributes of any one particular sex. --------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTIION #3. What is the one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about your own sex? #3 I think that the one thing that most women misunderstand about men is that all men are football fanatics and prefer to stay home every Sunday to watch football games. I myself prefer to be outdoors on a Sunday. Maybe at a park or driving down the coast, rather than watching a football game. #3. The one thing that females most misunderstand about males is our mind. They always interpret our words so wrong in a way that it gets us into trouble. There's no hidden meaning in what we are telling them. #3. The thing the opposite sex misunderstand about us the most is how we think. They usually don't understand where we're coming from with our thoughts just because we are the opposite sex. #3. Most of the people of the other sex understand me as well as those of the same sex. --------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #4. Think about a time when you found yourself particularly attracted to someone of the opposite sex. What characteristics of that person do you think attracted you? What was the most important factor that attracted you to this person, e.g., physical appearance, personality traits, self-confidence, social status, friendly gestures toward you, etc.? #4 She was tall and slim. When I say slim, I don't mean anorexic. She had a plump physique and curves in all the right places. She had beautiful curly hair that embraced her dark-skinned face. When I looked in her direction, she stood with an erect posture that showed her strong confidence that she knew I wanted her. Although she was at the other end of the party, pretending not to notice me, I constantly caught her looking in my direction. And every time I caught her, she sent a huge smile my way. #4. When I met my girlfriend besides her obvious physical attractiveness, I absolutely loved her sense of humor. Just from having the same sense of humor we found out that we had so much in common. Which is a plus, because you don't want to be with someone if you don't have much in common. I've played volleyball since I was in the 3rd grade and when I found out that she did too, it drew me to her even more. One last thing is she has the cutest way of asking for things. #4. I would have to say that the physically is what attracted me most to the opposite sex, initially. There has to be some form of physical attraction. It doesn't have to be a great deal, but just something that keeps me physically attracted. The most important factor that attracted me is physical appearance and a personality different than mine. #4. The characteristics that most had to do with my being attracted were related to personality and physical appearance. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #5. In your opinion, what are the strengths and weaknesses of the opposite sex? #5 I think that a strength of the opposite sex is that they are stronger than men. When I say stronger, I don't mean physical strength. It just seems that since women are more in touch with their emotions, they are better able to hide them. For example, during a relationship break-up, I have discovered that most women are better able to turn away from their male partner more easily than men can. A common weakness is that most women are too gossipy. Being too gossipy can cause women to entangle themselves in a mess that they have difficult time releasing themselves from. #5. As far as strengths go for females…ummm… they tend to smell nice. They are able to express their feelings with their friends, where guys can't do that with their guy friends. Females are also more empathetic. They are also not afraid to cry. They are able to get what they want through manipulation techniques such as whining. For their weaknesses, one, they gossip too much. Which in turn creates drama where there is none. They also seem to misconstrue everything that guys say and they end up putting words into our mouths. This also goes along with them being too sensitive. One last weakness is, generally most females are too picky. #5. The strengths of the opposite sex is how outgoing most of them are. Another trait would be how they are different emotionally than people of my sex. That is part of the attraction there; that we are different personality wise. The weaknesses are that they seem to swing from one side to the other on issues without skipping a beat. They change their mind very often and overanalyze the little things. #5. I think that each individual person has different strengths and weaknesses, not each sex. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #6. Can you think of any instances in which you have personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex? If so, give a brief description of what happened. #6 I was running a little late for a date with my lady friend. My tardiness seemed to be an issue in this relationship. She constantly suggested that she did not mind the lateness as long as I called her to let her know that I was running late. Well, when I did call her to let her know I was running late, she let me have it over the phone, which discouraged me from even showing up. #6. There hasn't been a time that I have been unfairly treated by any females. The only accounts that I can recall are times when I'm the only male in a group of all females and all of a sudden its bash on the male race. And I'm the only one that can defend the males, while 4 or 5 females just taking out their aggressions on the male race. #6. Overall I have not really been treated unfairly by the opposite sex, except if I deserved it. But I have not been treated unfairly just because I'm the opposite sex than they are. Be treated like this only comes into play when you disagree on subjects where both think you are right (but then that really doesn't have to do with sex differences). #6. I was treated unfairly by a person of the opposite sex in the financial aid office. The person didn't give me enough grant money for me to attend school. -------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #7. Can you think of any instances in which you have been treated particularly well by the opposite sex, simply because of your (or their) gender? If so, give a brief description of what happened. #7 It was my birthday, so my lady friend invited me over to her house. As soon as I got there, she greeted me with balloons and a small cake. She treated me like a king, but in her castle. She prepared a dinner for me, and throughout the entire night made sure that I was being well taken care of. #7. There isn't any instance that I can recall where I've been treated particularly well because I'm a male. However, every time that a girl wants something such as opening something or reaching up to get something because they are too short to reach it etc. they always put on a sweet smile and treat you nice until the task is completed, then they aren't sweet anymore. #7. I have been treated quite fairly by the opposite sex. It happens most when they're feeling alone mostly and want someone to talk to. #7. I have been treated well by members of the opposite sex, sexually. What I mean to say is that I don't believe I would have received the same sexual treatment if I had been their same sex. Who knows though! --------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #8. Describe an instance, or instances, when you have been rejected by someone of the opposite sex to whom you were attracted. How did they reject you? Was their behavior inconsiderate, rude or insensitive? How did it make you feel? How might they have done it in a more considerate way? #8 I was at a night club, when I noticed this beautiful woman standing across the hall. I looked at her, and pondered on whether I even had a chance with this woman. I mean, she was definitely the breadwinner of horses. I decided to walk up to her and start a conversation, she quickly stopped me even before I said, "Hi." She said, "before you come at me with your bullshit, I'm not interested." I could not believe what had just happened. She threw my ego on the floor and stabbed it with her heels. I felt like introducing her to "the bird," but I just turned away in search of another possible prospect. #8. To tell you the truth I've never been rejected before. Probably because I'm too shy. #8. They rejected me by just telling me they are already involved with someone else or are just not interested. Every now and again, you get the rude person who just blows you off, but that doesn't seem to happen too often. Usually they are flattered and are sensitive in letting me down. #8. I have yet to be full crushed by a person of the opposite sex, but the closest was a few years ago before university started. I started dating this amazing person. It was one of those people, the ones who have the thing. After a few weeks, the person broke it off saying that I was not being enough of my own person to make the relationship interesting. I agreed. I had got so caught up in the idea of being liked by this particular person that I tried to be whatever I thought the person wanted. It was a very fair and honest treatment. Today we are still very close friends. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Imagine that you have known someone of the opposite sex for about a month. You have dated this person several times, but so far there hasn't been any kind of physical intimacy (holding hands, kissing, etc.) between the two of you. Now, you are out on a date with this person again. How would you try to influence this person in each of the following circumstances: QUESTION #9. Situation 1: The date has been going very well and you feel very physically attracted to this person. How would you influence this person to become physically intimate, and to go as far sexually as you wanted to go? #9 I would begin at stage one which would be plenty of compliments and eye contact. When we were walking side by side, I would make attempts to hold her hand. If she was not interested in holding my hand, I would not even attempt to kiss her. But, if she did hold my hand with ease, I would proceed by making attempts to kiss her. I would be open with her and let her know that I have been noticing her lips within the past dates and that I felt attracted to her. I would then ask her if she permitted me to touch her lips with mine. #9. I'd look her up and down, smile, and say "how you doing?" No, but seriously, I'd place my hand on her cheek gently stroking it, while looking into her eyes and telling her how beautiful she is, and not lying about it, and then I'd slowly kiss her. #9. To influence this person I would start getting closer to them physically and possibly change the tone in my voice. I would make hints of that nature and try to "read" them to see how they react. By seeing how they react to my actions can tell you a lot. Then if they decide they don't want to do the same as me, then if they care to we can discuss it. #9. If a person wants the same thing I want from an encounter, than great. If not, I would not try to influence the person to want something that would be uncomfortable. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #10. Situation 2: The date has been going well, but you do not feel particularly physically attracted by this person. However, you can tell that this person is really turned on by you. Still, you know you're not interested in physical intimacy, and/or the subsequent involvement or commitment that might follow. How would you influence this person to avoid becoming sexual? #10 I would try to avoid as much physical contact as possible. If she was being very pushy and I felt cornered, I would tell her that I have just come out of a really bad relationship. I would still compliment her, yet I would make attempts at keeping as much space between her and I as possible. #10. Actually I've gone through some experiences like this and all I did was tell them flat out the truth, that it wasn't going to work out. #10. If I don't feel physically attracted to someone and they like me, then I make hints by the way I talk and what I talk about. I don't like to lead people on, so I make it seem like they're just another friend. #10. I say to the person, " I am not interested in physical intimacy". ----------------------------------------------------------------- SENTENCE COMPLETION For each of the following sentence fragments, complete the sentence, and, if you wish, add a few more sentences to complete your thought. Do not include the sentence stem in your response--only your answer to it. QUESTION #11. In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency to become "insanely" jealous when... #11 another woman makes eye contact with the man she is with. #11. …when your not looking somewhere off in the distance and not at them and they think that you are looking at another girl. #11. I spend as much time with other friends as I do with them. Not that the opposite sex doesn't want me to have other friends, they just don't like me spending too much time with them. #11. All people seem to be jealous because of the same thing, insecurity. ----------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #12. When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time, the opposite sex... #12 is usually game. It happens more often than not, that the woman is in the same wave length when it gets close for either to initiate sex in a relationship. #12. usually lays back and waits for the guys to initiate sexuality. However, in today's society girls are a little more aggressive. #12. Usually wants us to make the first move. Sometimes they make it into a game and play hard to get. #12 I think that it is awkward for anyone to initiate sexuality, unless in a standard sexual type relationship. --------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #13. The opposite sex seems clueless about... #13 how deceitful and manipulative men can be. #13. how the male mind works. or …how to communicate with males. #13. How we think about certain subjects and why. They don't understand how we can think a certain way about something just because we're the opposite sex. #13. Do you mean opposite sex? Or other sex? I don't necessarily think that it is helpful to think of each sex as opposed. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ QUESTION #14. Being romantic is something that the opposite sex... #14 has a misconception about men. I can be a charmer when it comes to sweeping a woman off her feet. Most women are surprised at my capabilities. I just know what buttons to push. #14. constantly wants. #14. Stereotypically enjoys and looks forward to more so than people of my sex. #14. Being romantic is something that some people are and some people are not. Some others are just kinda. Still others are mostly or somewhat. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #15. Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship "tests" by... #15 asking indirect questions. For example, a beautiful woman will appear on television and she will ask him, "do you think she is attractive." Let me tell you fellas, don't answer that question. You are entering into a trap. It is alright for a woman to compliment another woman, but if a man compliments another woman in her presence, he is in big trouble. #15. asking their partner a hypothetical question, which is really a trick question. #15. Acting in a particular way to see what type of personality we are and how we will react to it. They also ask us how we think about something and why to test us on how we think. #15. One example of a relationship test that I have witnessed both sexes using is the baby test. Wherein you get the person to be alone in a room and secretly watch their interaction with the child. Another would be a family or friends test.The person is introduced to friends or family and then watched for interaction abilities. --------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #16. The opposite sex seems to support equality for the sexes except when it comes to... #16 male gender roles. A man is always expected to fix something when it breaks. #16. old-fashion dating routines. (guy paying for the date) #16. Sports and things that involve physical strength. #16. Both sexes seem to lack in there awareness of male privilage and therefore don not support equality the way the must in order to balance the situation. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex... #17 displays. A woman will usually go to extents to let other women know that he is her man. #17. has grasped very well. #17. Thinks that we have too much of. They think we take almost everything into our possession that we can. #17. Both sesxes can be possessive. Women and men are usually more possesive the more insecure they are. ------------------------------------------------------------ QUESTION #18. When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite sex... #18 takes the cake. There is something intriguing about the physical setup of a woman. #18. knows how to make us melt in their hands. #18. Knows what we look for and know how to show their physical attractiveness. #18. Some people care more than others about that sort of thing --------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #19. Money and status is are things that the opposite sex... #19 tends to pay too much attention to. #19. are ambitious about. #19. Sometimes takes into consideration especially when considering them as a longtime partner. It can help in making them more attracted to them, also. #19. I think that the other sex is very shallow when it comes to the physical relm. Even people of my own sex are very shallow. I find myself acting in a way that is unbecoming due to money and power too. -------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #20. It hurts me most when the opposite sex... #20 disregards the fact that I can be just as sensitive and affectionate as women. #20. takes something the wrong way and then there's a fight. #20. Compares me to other people and wants me to change how I am and how I think. #20. I think that the thing that causes me the most pain is the lack of respect for their own bodies that they have. It is also a painful thing that my sex does to the other. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTION #21. I feel best about the opposite sex when... #21 I have just finished making some sweet love. #21. I'm getting attention from them. #21. They accept me for how I am and how I am not. I know it's not an easy thing to do, but a leopard doesn't change its spots, so how am I suppose to change who I really am? #21. I feel good about the other sex all the time. At some specific times I am angry at a member of the other sex but that feeling never generalizes to the whole group. I suspect that if I were to be really wronged by someone of the other sex that I could then generalize the feeling to the whole of that sex.