PSYC 222

HOMEWORK INSTRUCTIONS

Due date:  1 Week from today (Worth 3 points).


YOUR NAME: _________________________________

Read the attached comments about the opposite sex written by the
females in this class (or by females in other sections of this
course).

Answer the following questions (your answers need not be typed--
you can write on this sheet if you wish). Indicate the page
number and area of the page where the comment can be found (e.g.,
column 1 or 2; top, middle or bottom of the column).

You will discuss your reactions in small groups during the next
class session.

Which of the written comments made by the females:


1.  ...was written so well or eloquently, or addressed such a
personal issue, that it evoked a sincere sense empathy in you?


2.  ...disturbed and/or upset you, and why?


3.  ...honestly revealed something about female perceptions,
feelings or thoughts that you suspect that they generally might
be very reluctant to admit to if their comments were not
anonymous.


4.  ...seemed to be a particularly good example of one of the
robust gender differences predicted by evolutionary psychology.


5.  ...that you found, in general, surprising and/or particularly
interesting.



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QUESTION #1. Think about the previous interactions you have had
with the opposite sex. Has a situation ever occurred with someone
of opposite sex that you found deeply puzzling and/or
incomprehensible? And which you also think is somehow a function
of that person's gender (not just the specific individual
involved)?  If so, think about what happened, and the behaviors,
cognitions, motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you
found particularly puzzling.


#1.  I have often found myself confused when it comes to the
opposite sex.  I think I have been confused a lot because the
opposite sex seems not to be socialized to express their
emotions, something I thrive off of.

#1.  I have yet to be really puzzled in a serious manner with
guys.  The one thing that really stumps me though is why it is so
difficult for a male to ask directions. But at the same time it
is a normal for a male to do puzzling things, because their own
needs come first.  They do not like asking directions because it
shows they are out of control.


#1. I was face to face with a guy and he was confessing his
feelings to me.  We were, so I thought, deeply concentrating on
each other as he carried on his comments of adoration. Right in
the middle of it all, I saw his eyes wander to the side and then
back to me.  I had to look and saw two girls walking by with the
low-rise jeans and tube tops.  I was thinking how ridiculous it
was to see two girls wearing the exact same thing but I knew
that's what he was looking at.  His eyes wandered again, on to
the same two girls.  I was annoyed and hurt, but mostly annoyed.
Why was he standing there, telling me how much he cared about me
and then he goes off and checks out these two complete strangers.
I just think to myself, it's the nature of testosterone.  They
biologically have one goal in their existence and that is to
pro-create, this makes them constantly want other women.  I
pointed it out to him, and said I was crazy, and that he didn't
look.  At the time I couldn't understand why he couldn't just
admit to it.  I saw him right in front of me. But I also thought
about it afterwards and to go along with my original theory that
they are merely attempting to achieve their goal of fornication.
Maybe he didn't realize that he looked at those girls, maybe it
is so innate that men don't realize they do it.  It's like
breathing.

#1.  I find it most puzzling when males often go out in search of
a female mate for the evening. This is often times the goal of a
night full of drinking and outings with other males. This part of
a mans life does not puzzle me, however. I think of this as
nature. But what does puzzle me is that throughout the whole
ordeal of this conquest, men go for the girls they cannot have.
In my situation, I had strong feelings for a guy that was in love
with another girl who would not give him the time of day.  He
knew that this girl had no feelings for him, yet he kept on
pursuing.  While well aware that I was infatuated with him and
that he couldve had me, he still pursued the uninterested one.  I
dont understand what is so appealing about those that cannot be
had.


#1. In previous interactions that I have experienced with the
opposite sex, I have noticed something quite a few times which
leaves me very confused. I cannot comprehend the males ability to
be so short with answers and so non-detail oriented!! I know that
women just like to talk a lotbut I still do not think that they
are talking too much for men interests. I think a lot of it has
to do with their ability to be easily distracted so maybe they
dont want to focus for so long on one subject to talk about. I
have noticed this multiple times in various situations with
various people. I will be talking and it will be about something
that really interests me, and the male will get frustrated or
simply will not understand why I have to ask so many questions.
They think that a one word answer or response is okay. However, a
one-word answer has never been satisfying to me! They seem to be
interested in something else, which I can tell by their uneasy
behavior, and uninterested in what is being discussed. I think
men are very satisfied with things at face value, not ever being
curious as to what else there is in store behind it.

#1 One thing that has always irritated me about men is that it
seems that they can't show their emotions as well as I'd like
them to.  One example of this is my ex-boyfriend.  Whenever we'd
have a problem or a conflict, he'd just be so apathetic and hard
to talk to about the situation.  I'd be emotional and thoughtful
about the whole situation.  I remember asking him why he would be
that way, and one thing I always remember him saying is "I have
three emotions - happy, sad, and mad."  That always made me to
upset and I couldn't get him to talk about what he felt about the
situation.  His three emotions also prevented him from
understanding how I was feeling at times.  I would be upset about
something, and he would ask me if I was sad, and it wouldn't be
the word to describe my emotions all the way and if I tried
explaining how I felt, he just wouldn't understand.  I have
noticed that many men seem to be the same way with explaining
their emotions.

#1. An old friend, going back to Second and Third Grade, was
surprisingly in a play with me my sophomore year in high school.
He thinks that arguing with girls makes them like him. He argues
with me, and puts my ideas down, calling me ignorant and
insulting my intelligence. But then, when confronted with my
feelings that he bothers me and hurts my feelings, he swears up
and down that he likes me, otherwise he wouldnt bother arguing,
or even talking to me. His mother is a psychologist, and he
always blames it on that. I dont think its dependent on his
gender, although, I think its because he has ideas about women
that are not true, perhaps a result of his family, schooling, or
friends. I didnt understand why he could treat me so horribly,
and then turn around and treat me like a Queen.

#1. In my life I have had two relatively lengthy relationships
(for my age) and there is one thing that sticks out in my mind as
the most puzzling thing about men.  In conversations, arguments
mainly, I have found that men and women find different meanings
in the words than were meant to be conveyed.  It seems as if many
of these fights even escalate based on these false readings until
somehow the parties realize their mistaken assumptions.  It is
very hard to communicate with someone when you do not really know
how to make them understand what you are trying to say.

#1.  One night when I was in high school, I went to a party with
my boyfriend Travis and few of my other friends.  The party was
going really great until a huge fight broke out in the middle of
the tiny backyard where everyone was hanging out.  The yard was
definitely overcrowded as it was and so when the fight broke out
people were being pushed all over the place.   I myself was
pushed onto a covered Jacuzzi, and as I lay there wondering what
was happening, all I could see was some guy over by the brick
wall that surrounded the yard. He was crouching up against the
wall, trying to shield his face as 15 other guys kept slamming
his head and body into the brick wall, kicking him and punching
him wherever and whenever they got the chance.  All I wanted to
do was help the poor guy out.  I wondered who it was, and what he
had done to deserve to get horribly beat up by a group of very
angry guys.  When I found out that the guy getting his ass kicked
by 15 other guys was Travis, it made my so sick to my stomach
that I thought I was going to throw up.  I was in a state of
extreme panic.  I ran all around the house trying to find him,
and when I did find him, I could hardly recognize the same guy
that I had been dating for the past 2 years.  I immediately took
him to the emergency room where he was sewn up, and sent home.
When I asked Travis what had happened, I was completely shocked
with what he told me.  Apparently, him and his friend had been
talking over by the wall because the party was so crowded, and
his friend accidentally bumped into a guy that neither of them
knew and spilled some of his beer on the guy's shirt. When
Travis' friend said he was sorry, the guy just turned around and
said, "why the fuck did you do that?".  Then all that Travis said
was, "hey man, he said he was sorry", and the guy turned and
punched him in the face.  From there on it turned into what I saw
as Travis getting jumped by a bunch of guys who didn't know him,
and obviously had no clue what had happened.         What
happened was a group of guys kicked the shit out of the nicest
guy I know for absolutely no reason.  Travis would never start a
fight or even say something that would make someone want to fight
him.  But obviously when a group of guys gets the idea that they
want to go out and get into a fight, just for the pure pleasure
of kicking someone's ass and getting an adrenalin high for a few
minutes, it sucks to be the guy who is standing in the wrong
place at the wrong time.   The whole thing is something I
definitely don't understand about the opposite sex, and I
probably never will.

#1       I was out with my boyfriend one night and I was asking
him about a particular movie we had just seen.  He told me that
he really liked the movie and would love to see it again.  Later
on the same night, we were out with a bunch of his friends.  I
was telling one of the guys about the movie we had seen, and my
boyfriend began making fun of the movie.  I know it isn't a big
deal, but it really annoyed me how he was either putting on a
complete front for me, or for "his boys", either way he should be
able to be himself while with either group.

#1 I was with a guy for six months and things were going well.
He and I shared a lot and had a lot in common.  We spent an
average amount of time together and genuinely enjoyed each
other's company.  I never questioned his loyalty or that he kept
our relationship private and thought of it as a high priority.
He and I had our fights and annoyances with one another but
nothing serious that we didn't talk over and try to fix or adjust
to.  Then all of a sudden he said to me that was not ready to
become serious with me or anyone, and that we couldn't see each
other anymore.  I was totally caught off guard and had nothing to
argue or even a reply.  He and I didn't talk for months after
that and he would talk to his friends about the relationship,
making me out to be needy and unstable. I felt very disrespected
and that nothing in our relationship was real.  I have given it a
lot of thought and think that the reasons behind his actions were
a result of his inability to deal with the work that the
relationship required.  I think that a lot of guys will end
relationship that they don't think that can be fully devoted to.
A female can misinterpret this because they generally don't think
along the same lines.

#1.  One situation that I found extremely puzzling happened with
a friend of the opposite sex that I had in high school. He had a
girlfriend that would tell him that she liked other guys and that
she was flirting with them. Then she would break up with him to
go out with one of the guys. It almost never worked so about a
week later he would take her back. This would happen every few
months for about 2 years. He would come to me to talk about all
the mean things she said to him during their constant fighting. I
would ask him why he wanted to go out with her and why didn't he
just break up with her.  When I did that he would keep on talking
and completely avoid answering me. When I did get him to answer,
he would just make up lame excuses. I did not understand what was
going on in his head. I don't think that this is a gender
specific problem, I think that it has more to do with the
personality of the person. I have actually known four other guys
who were in similar situations and continued to stay in the
relationship for years so it would seem like the problem is more
common in males, but I cannot think of anything specific to men
that would make them do that. Also, I would not be surprised to
hear of a girl in a similar relationship.

#1 One time my boyfriend and I were driving around trying to find
our way home from the beach. We had just been going out for a
couple of months at the time and this was our first big
adventure. The day at the beach was really fun and so we packed
up our stuff and headed home. Well my boyfriend and I got lost.
We tried to find the quickest way home other than the freeway,
and got lost in Santa Monica. I saw a gas station and told my
boyfriend to "pull into the gas station and ask for directions,"
and to this day I still remember his response of "I don't need
directions I can find my way back!" I turned and looked at him
and realized he had just become a total guy in my mind. He didn't
stop and ask for directions, it took us two hours to get home, a
normally 35 minute drive, and after that we always stopped to ask
for directions. To this day I still don't know why he didn't ask
for directions, I know I would have. I think after talking with
him and other guys about the situation, the reason why he didn't
want stop and ask for directions was because he wanted to prove
his manliness by finding his way home. I think that men have this
desire to be the provider and protector in a relationship and
when a certain situation arises, men get upset, flustered and
raise their voices.


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QUESTION #2.  In general, what do you like about the opposite
sex?  What do you dislike?


#2.  I like the sense of humor, they way they look at you
compared to how the same gender looks at you, how they know the
right thing to say, and the sharp, to the point answers from the
opposite sex.  I do not like how stubborn they can be, the care-
free  nature they tend to give off, and the inability to admit
when they are wrong.

#2.  I like the way males are very laid back and easy going.
Most guys do not get all stressed out if they have not made plans
on Friday night until they are about to do something.  They are
not as insecure, and do not focus on their flaws and weakness
like women do.  How they assume the role as protector and
provider to a reasonable extent. Meaning that males respect and
acknowledge you are capable of taking care of yourself, while
still creating a sense of security.  Males also tend to take more
risks and are some what unpredictable, making for an amusing
time.
     Males also have a lot of traits that I dislike!  To begin,
the male ego and arrogance. Ignorantly presuming dominance over
women, intellectually, physically, and mentally.  I also find
their attraction to violence and brutality disturbing.  The
overwhelming need to control every situation becomes unbearably
annoying.  The lack of communication and of their own feelings
and emotions.

#2.  In general I like that men feel they are protectors and want
to protect women.  I know it is somewhat demeaning, but why take
away something that they have, that can also benefit us as women.
It's a mutual give and take.  They feel they're being protective,
we feel better by letting them feel more powerful.  I also like
how they are so puzzled by women.  Generally I don't like
possessiveness.  This small bit that we give them as "powerful"
and "strong" leads to possessiveness that can become obsessive
not to mention annoying, and a threat to many relationships.

#2.  I like the strength of men. It is so appealing to me their
security and the way that a man can carry himself in a way that
shows confidence.  My favorite thing about men is the event of
them opening up to another. I think that this front so often
carried by them needs a sort of break. Because this occurrence of
a man opening up is somewhat rare, it makes it all the more
meaningful.
     What I dislike about men is the disregard of feelings. I
understand this as another natural tendency and that is to be
oblivious to a majority of the trivial worries of women. However
there is a fine line between what is trivial and petty and the
way someone seriously feels. This line is often unclear to men as
they step over it frequently.

#2. I like the lightheartedness of the opposite sex and their
sense of humor. Their easy- going personality and behavior keep
me happy and entertained. I dislike how the opposite sex allows
immaturity to enter them by taking this lightheartedness and
sense of humor to the extreme that can make light of serious
situations. Men keep me humored and entertained, however they do
not know how to keep a limit for that.

#2.  In general, I like how guys dont always take things so
personally.  Women tend to over-analyze most everything in life
to the point where every comment someone says can have some deep
meaning.  Guys go through life not worrying about what people
think about them all the time.  I also love how guys are risk
takers.  They will try any extreme sport without fear.  I admire
that.  I love how handy men are.  I always find myself calling my
dad when I have a problem starting my car, for instance, even
though hes the least handy person I know. I just feel comfort in
knowing that he will be there to try and help me fix the problem,
even though hes not Mr. Fix-it.          On the other hand, Guys
can be non-committal.  Unless a guy is madly in love with a girl,
most guys will not give a definite answer to a girl who is
pursuing him, probably due to many guys fear of a commitment.  I
also hate how many guys my age fall for the high-maintenance,
perfectly anorexic looking girls, when they always say that they
want a girl whos low maintenance and has curves.  I just dont
understand it.

#2.  I like how men can make me feel comfortable and secure just
by holding my hand or putting their arms around me.  I like how a
man can tell the truth about something and be blunt about it when
it needs to be told.  I also like how a man can go straight to
the remedy of a problem without a lot of talk about how when this
happened to them last time, or their friend had a problem like
this, or anything long and involved- they can cut to the chase
and get it over and done with.  I like how they look and smell.
I don't like how men act different around their friends than how
they act around family or girlfriends.  I don't like how men will
pretend they can do something when they can't, like asking for
directions, or fixing things.  I hate how men try to act macho
and "manly" when they feel insecure.

#2. There are several things I like about the opposite sex,
including honesty, loyalty, their easy-going attitude and the way
it feels when they make you feel like youre the only girl they
want to be with. However, I dislike it immensely when guys change
around their friends, they seem to be apathetic, irresponsible
and rude whenever their guy friends come around. Oh, and also, I
dont like the way they communicate with women; they never use the
I feel words.

#2. I feel that generally men are more loyal to their friends but
conversely are less loyal to someone that they are romantically
involved with.  I also think that men are a lot more fun to be
around than women because they are open to do almost anything and
they do not let petty little things get in their way.  In
relationships men tend to avoid confrontation, which leads to
bigger problems in the future.

#2.   I like the way that guys act like they know how to fix
everything.  It makes my feel comfortable knowing that when I
have a guy with me he will always pretend like he knows how to
fix any problems we may encounter.  I also like the way that guys
have no fear.  They are willing to try almost anything once.  One
last thing that I admire about guys is that they are more
forgiving and less dramatic than girls.  When guys get into a
fight with their friends it is over almost as soon as it started.
They also don't hold grudges or talk shit on their friends behind
their backs.

#2      Many of my best friends are the opposite sex.  I think it
has always been that way with me because guys aren't very
judgmental.  They are more relaxed, kicked back and go with the
flow when comparing them to girls.  I love how guys give you
their full attention when having a serious conversation; they
don't try to turn the tables so all the attention is focused on
them.          Although guys are great, there are also things I
dislike about them as well.  I hate guys that are superficial,
have big heads and think they are better than everyone else.  I
also dislike it when guys are overprotective of their
girlfriends.  If they were confident (not too confident) in
themselves, then they shouldn't have anything to worry about with
their girlfriends.

#2 I like that men are more loyal as friends and I admire their
strength, physically and emotionally.  I don't like how little
they value communication, and that there fear controls their
actions.  An example, of this would be when guys end a
relationship because they are scared of commitment.  I could be
the best thing that has ever happened to them but they will miss
out because of fear.  "It is better to have loved and lost then
to have never loved at all."

#2. In general, I like the way that the opposite sex can just
hang out and have fun without having to make a big deal of it.
When I hang out with my friends, I want to be able to just sit
around and watch a movie or go to a small party. I don't like the
way that many girls have to dress up and go somewhere to be seen
or to see who is there. One of the things that I dislike about
the opposite sex is that they rarely admit that they want a
relationship and not just someone to hook up with.

#2 The thing that I like most about guys is there ability to make
a bad situation better in a short amount of time. No matter if it
is a boyfriend or just a friend, when ever I am having a bad day
or something is not going my way. My guy friends are able to make
it all seem better by the time the conversation is over. The
girls that I hang out with seem to commiserate with me and dwell
even deeper on the bad situation than the boys do. It is so nice
to talk with guys about a bad day because their outlook is so
different that it makes something that you thought was so huge,
not seem so big at all. The thing that I dislike about guys the
most is that they seem to at first decide who they want to talk
to by the way a girl looks and not what she thinks or does. It is
hard to find a guy that is mature enough to be attracted to a
girl through her thoughts and words rather than her immediate
looks. I think impatience to get to know woman, as a person is
what I truly dislike about guys just because it is so judgmental
and shallow.


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QUESTIION #3. What is the one thing that the opposite sex most
misunderstands about your own sex?


#3.  The opposite sex seems to be unable to understand that it is
not always PMS.  WE have our off days and it is not always that
time of the month.

#3.  I think that males misunderstand what a real women is today.
Not all women are huge breasts, a tiny waste, and a head full of
hot air.  The real woman today can have her own career, and is
then also expected to be responsible for stereotypical tasks,
such as laundry and cooking.  I feel the male misunderstands how
amazing and powerful it is to be a woman.

#3.  Men mostly misunderstand that women are trying to figure
them out, as well. However, women are more complicated, and men
oversimplify everything by blaming everything on our menstrual
cycles.  That's copping out.  A lot of us just want men to take
the time to understand us on a one-by-one basis.  Get to know ME
not ALL women because that's where it matters.  We are not ALL
the same just like them.

#3.  To be completely honest, the one thing I think men
underestimate about women is sex drive. Women are just as
sexually driven as men, only they can control it respectably. In
the beginning of the semester we had a boy live a month with us
in our room with 4 girls. After this month of living with us,
Joe had an epiphany and said he realized that living with 4 girls
for a month made him know for a fact and realize that girls are
just as sexually motivated as guys. In the comfort of only a
select few friends can girls confide in this and discuss this.
However, unlike guys, this sex drive does not control their life
or set goals for conquests. It is simply the sexuality and not
many will act on this and frankly can do without it. The feeling
is still there though.

#3. The one thing that the opposite sex struggles to understand
about females is the depth of females mindsnow, with this
statement, I dont mean men are shallow and stupid. Rather, they
must feel less need to analyze what, to them, is a minor detail,
whereas to women there exists reason for curiosity. Men seem to
be satisfied with superficial explanations of things, while women
like to question the subject and allow curiosity to carry them
deeper and deeper into the subject until they understand every
loophole in it. Men seem to lack understanding for this.

#3.  I wish guys knew how to move slow.  They just dont
understand it when I say that things are moving to fast and we
need to slow it down a notch.  Guys just want sex, and I am not
ready to give that to them right away.  They always get that
really sad and confused tone of voice when I tell them that I
dont want to go there.  Cant they just understand?

#3. One thing I think men don't understand about women is how
strong we are.  A lot of men still think that they have to step
in and help a woman out if she's fixing, building, making or
creating something because she probably won't do it right, or
can't do it at all.  The idea goes back to the idea that women
cook and clean and men fix and work.  I know that I surprise many
men with the things that I can do and the things that I know
about mechanical and technical problems.

#3. They misunderstand our need to feel special, even months into
a serious relationship. Even though he knows that I like sitting,
watching Unsolved Mysteries in my pajama pants in Scooby-Doo
slippers, doesnt mean that he cant bring me a little something
special occasionally.

#3. I think that what men most misunderstand about women is that
in reality we are very easy to please.  Most men think that women
are very difficult to figure out but it is not true.  Most women
know what they want out of a man and a relationship and they let
their partner know this almost from the start.  The problems come
in when the man either does not hear or understand these wishes
or does not want to fulfill them.

#3.  The opposite sex misunderstands the fact that girls get
moody when they are on their period.  They definitely don't
understand how it feels to have cramps and be bloated for a week
straight.  They like to make jokes about PMS like "oh, is it that
time of the month again?", but what they don't understand is that
girls don't think those jokes are even remotely funny.

#3      I feel that guys don't realize that girls need some
quality and compassionate time together.  It's great to go out
and party and have tons of fun all the time, but it is also nice
to stay home cuddle and watch a movie.

#3 Men misunderstand the way woman perceive things.  They cannot
comprehend a woman's emotional depth and therefore cannot
understand a woman's reasoning behind certain actions.  Woman may
seem to want to talk things out a lot more than a man, which
could be conveyed as nagging, when in reality she is just trying
to fully understand his point of view, or see if he understands
her.

#3. The one thing that the opposite sex most misunderstands about
women is there need to talk about their emotions. It seems that
guys think the girls are being overemotional, too sensitive, and
silly. The truth is that girls want to talk about what they are
feeling so that they can understand their feelings better. Guys
probably don't understand because they do not express their
emotions as much because others may think that they are weak.

#3 I think the one thing that the guys most misunderstand about
women is that women really do get tired and sad and grumpy and a
little crazy with out it being "that time of the month". I get so
frustrated when I hear guys saying that their girlfriends are
annoying and troublesome and then blame it on their physical
state. Sometimes I wonder if guys just don't hear what there
significant other or friend is saying just because it takes away
from their ego and don't want to have to be reminded of an
imperfection in themselves. I think it is also demeaning to the
women in their lives to just chalk up their frustrations to a
physical state, and not really listen to what they are saying.
Sometimes the most important things women say to men, men just
don't hear truly, only because they are too self-indulged.


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QUESTION #4. Think about a time when you found yourself
particularly attracted to someone of the opposite sex.   What
characteristics of that person do you think attracted you?   What
was the most important factor that attracted you to this person,
e.g., physical appearance, personality traits, self-confidence,
social status, friendly gestures toward you, etc.?


#4.  I tend to be attracted to people with a sense of humor,
someone I can talk a lot to about numerous things, people that
have been places and taken risks, someone down to earth, kind,
polite, and someone who will be nice to me and my friends.

#4.  One male was only attractive physically, tall and broad,
then he opened his mouth! His overconfidence was a total turn
off, and I became repulsed at the mere thought of him.  The most
attractive guys are the ones with a good personality.  An
intelligent and humorous guy, who is easy going, and enjoys the
same things I do.

#4.  Many characteristics are reviewed when I'm attracted to
someone but one is not more important than another, it's the
combination.  It's the personality as well as physical features.
For example, the strongest physical attraction I've had was for
someone with the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen in my short
life.  Through his eyes I could see the other things about him
that no one else saw, and he happily revealed those details to
me. I know it sounds clichi but it's the truth.  From there, I
looked at his hands that were taken care of because he played the
guitar.  I felt comfortable having those hands hold me.  It felt
safe.  At the same time, I was drawn in by his need to talk to me
as more than a girlfriend, but as a confidante.  He was able to
talk to me about things he couldn't discuss with his other male
friends.  This willingness to open up was attractive because he
wasn't excessively needy which can be a turn off, and can, quite
honestly, scare someone off. But what got me the most was the way
he would look at me, and I knew what he was thinking.

#4. In almost every situation in which I have been attracted to
someone of the opposite sex, the key characteristic that
attracted me was the way that person treated me. Friendly
gestures toward me make me feel very respected. I think it is
very considerate of someone to take an extra effort to treat me
extra well. So when someone of the opposite sex has done that, I
feel an even stronger attraction to them. Friendly gestures that
someone utilizes says a lot about their personality as well, and
personality would be second on my list of things that would be
the primary motivation for attraction.

#4.  I liked this guy in high school.  He was not drop-dead
gorgeous, but definitely was not bad looking.  I never liked a
guy to bee too good looking because it usually means they are
conceited and full of themselves.  Anyway, this guy was so
naturally goofy, which I love, and was ,seriously, friends with
everyone in my school, from the popular to the nerds.  He was
very involved with service and the school and everyone just loved
him.

#4. When I think about a man that I was especially attracted to I
remember that I was very attracted to his personality traits and
his friendly gestures towards others and me.  He had a fabulous
sense of humor and he was very smart.  He also cared a lot about
his mother and grandmother and the other women in his family and
showed them that he loved them.  Not many men do that and are
confident to show it.  I went to a wedding with him and he was
dancing with his grandmother and his mother and sisters.  I was
so impressed that he would take the time to do that.  I am so
attracted to a man that can show his affection towards his
family.

#4. This person was awful for me and there was no logical reason
why I shouldve been with him. But he had this mystery about him,
a very attractive intelligent mystique. He had this great curly
hair and was very sure of himself without being egotistically
frustrating. But especially, it was the mystique.

#4. It is very strange but the first thing that attracts me to
men is a characteristic in their face that cannot be pointed out.
Somehow when I look into a man's face I can sense if he has this
sweet and understanding characteristic that attracts me to him.
Obviously that is not the only thing I see when I look at a guy.
I have a certain body type that attracts me more than others do
but it is certainly not necessary for them to have these
characteristics in order for me to go out with them.  All of my
life I have found really tall and really skinny guys more
physically appealing than other men, and have found myself paired
up with mostly that type of guy.

#4.  I think that the characteristic that most attracted me to
that person was the fact that he was outgoing and seemed to have
a lot of self-confidence.  He was funny, cute and I definitely
liked his style.  He also was the also the complete opposite of
the guy who I had previously been dating.  I liked the fact that
he did what he wanted and didn't seem to care what other people
thought about him.

#4      The characteristics that attracted me to a particular
person, was almost everything about him.  He was able to have fun
in any situation, he loved to go out, he was one of the funniest
people I have ever met and his looks were definitely a plus as
well.  At the same time, he was very sincere and knew how to be
serious if I needed him to.  The qualities that I found most
important about this person are that he is the nicest and most
loyal person I have ever met.

#4 Intelligence, confidence, humility, respect, driven, strong
(emotionally and physically), and devoted.  The most important
trait for a man to have is integrity.  The importance of him
being attractive physically is minimal; I wouldn't say that the
guys I am attracted too are necessarily attractive.

#4. One time, I was really attracted to a guy at a party. He was
pretty cute, but I was mostly attracted to him because of his
personality. He was really funny and his sense of humor was
original. He didn't sound like the other guys who were trying to
be funny at the party. He was also very confident and obviously
wasn't too worried about what other people thought of him. That's
what I liked most about him.  #4 I think I was attracted to his
self-confidence, ideas, openness to talk and share things of his
life and of mine, and just his personality in general. It was
nice to get to know him and feel like you didn't have to worry
about making conversation and that you would never run out of
things to talk about. The most important factor that made me
attracted to him was his self-confidence and ability to make
conversation. I love to talk and get to know someone, so when I
find someone who has the same qualities that I have I find them
very attractive. I also think that is really rare to find a guy
who can be that self-assured and open so that makes the ones you
find more appealing as well.


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QUESTION #5. In your opinion, what are the strengths and
weaknesses of the opposite sex?

#5.  As for the strengths of the opposite sex, I think they are
physically more capable than my gender, they can be much more
straight forward, and do not let things affect them as much as my
gender.  As for the weaknesses of the opposite sex, I think they
can be too harsh, inconsiderate, unemotional, and too headstrong.

#5.  A males strengths lies in his need to control and overcome
problems. Males find security in control, so they look for the
quickest and easiest way to solve the problem. His weakness is
the inability to always assess the situation or problem
correctly.  He does not always take everything into perspective,
and often excludes emotion.

#5.  Men are physically stronger, that goes without saying but I
think they're very good at keeping things in, this both their
weakness and their strength.  They protect themselves, they are
able to do that, but it only lasts so long and then they break
down.  I have seen it in men throughout my life.  They try to be
too strong and in fact they are emotionally weaker than women.
When it comes to the big things, they can't do anything about it,
they're not sure how to deal with it and still "be men."  This is
why more men actually attempt suicide and are more successful.

#5.  I like people who like me. I am a flirt. I like people who
flirt with me. I like to be laid back. I like people who are laid
back.  Basically I have found that the qualities I search for in
people are the ones I most admire about myself.   I also find
that the qualities I dislike about myself to be the main
qualities that turn me off.  I can tend to be quiet around people
I first meet. I am not attracted to a guy that is quiet. I think
I look for a mirror of myself.

#5. The strengths of the opposite sex in my opinion are
persistence when pursuing a goal, the ability to be
straightforward with someone selflessly, and another, which also
holds as a weakness, pride. Other weaknesses of the male are the
lack of ability to be an individual in certain circumstances (ex.
With friends), and the extra attention they show towards physical
traits and pleasure.

#5.  I believe that many guys hold a natural confidence in many
aspects of the things they do.  Some of the better males have
goals set for themselves, and will pursue this goal.  Guys have a
natural ability to achieve a goal, for example in fixing things.
They are naturally talented in sports and physical activity too.
        But, as I said earlier, guys can be non-committed in a
relationship and non-communicative.  I think they do not try hard
enough to crack into women. They just do not want to put the
effort in to understand women, where women, I believe over-
analyze males.

#5.  One weakness that I mentioned before is the inability to
express their emotions as well as they could.  Another is the
why that men have to appear strong and macho all the time.  One
strength is that is seems to be easier for them to set goals and
complete them without the support of others. #5. Their strengths
are being able to be the protectors, to feel safe around them and
know that they can protect you. They are strong, self-willed and
determined. Unlike women, men never give up and cry when they get
frustrated with a task. Usually, they find a simple way to
complete the task and get on with their lives. They also never
analyze things, which, while being strength, are also a weakness,
because, subsequently, they cannot understand a girls analytical
tendencies. Their weaknesses are, to the blind eye, rare. But men
also lock their feelings inside, and therefore have communication
problems, a big weakness. To me, an apparent weakness is to fall
back on a macho attitude, which does not reel women in, but
pushes them away.

#5. The strengths of the male gender as opposed to the female are
things such as achieving goals, physical strength, and loyalty.
When men set goals for themselves they do not let anything get in
the way of attaining those goals and therefore they achieve their
goals more often than females.  Men also generally have more
physical strength than women and this can be very advantageous.
Loyalty to friends is a very big strength that men have.  They
try not to let anything get in between them and their 'boys'.
        Men also have weaknesses like in relationships and
keeping their feelings inside. Men have a harder time in the
sensitive part of life.  In relationships it seems harder for
them to commit and to open themselves up their partner.  Men also
tend to keep their feelings locked inside them so people will not
see them as less of a man.

#5.  The strengths of the opposite sex include them being
ambitious, forgiving, caring (when they want to be), manly,
fearless (or at least they pretend), and not being over
emotional.  Some of the weaknesses include, cockiness, over
aggressiveness, and not being emotional enough.

#5      The strengths of the male species are that they are very
comforting to have around.  They are usually interested in trying
new things and taking a risk.  They are great people to talk to,
and take advise from.  At the same time, their weaknesses are
that they have a hard time admitting that they aren't always
right.  Guys need to realize that there are times when they are
going to be wrong, and that there is nothing wrong with that.
Guys also need to put some faith in girls and not just make them
seem like that they are only good for their cleaning and cooking
abilities.

#5 A man's strengths lie in their view of the world and how to
best live in it. They seem to see things simply and accept things
easier than woman.  Problems aren't as devastating, and the world
is less threatening.  Their weakness is that they don't
communicate as well and are not as in touch with how they feel
about issues, beyond the facts.

#5. A strength of the opposite sex is the ability to keep
needless drama out of their lives and relationships with their
friends. They also seem to be able to keep calm when a situation
becomes stressful. A weakness of the opposite sex is their ego.
It seems that a lot of things threaten guys. They also do stupid
things trying to show off which usually makes girls think less of
them.

#5 In my opinion, I think that a strong point in males is their
ability to make a bad situation seem better. Where women will go
over and over a problem and look at it from all different angles
before settling on one outlook, a guy will just think about it,
explain the situation, and deal with it and then it is over. It
is nice when guys take decisive actions and then move on with out
looking back. I think a weakness in guys is their selfishness. I
think that before listening to what a woman has to say about them
or their actions, they are quick to put off the criticism onto
something else because they don't want to grow from the
experience or think that they actually did something that was
wrong. I think it is harder for guys to say they are sorry than
for women.


----------------------------------------------------------------------

QUESTION #6. Can you think of any instances in which  you have
personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex?  If so,
give a brief description of what happened.


#6.  I have been treated unfairly by a member of the opposite sex
because I chose to express my emotions.  As a result, I was
teased and ended up crying which resulted in more teasing.  All I
did was express how I felt and I was hurt as a result.

#6.  One of many different situations was when our brother 18 and
under club team tried to take away most our practice space,
making ignorant comments about girls soccer. Being a rowdy bunch
of girls we took their comments as a challenge and ended up
beating them  2-0 and injured 3 of their men.  The best was when
the defense wall  said something unrepeatable to our kicker, so
she just blasted the ball right into the guys face.

#6.  I'm untreated unfairly by the opposite sex all the time,
mostly by family members. My family is old fashioned in many
things and they tend to place women in the kitchen, barefoot and
pregnant.  It's sad really.  When I was younger my parents
favored my brother over my sister and me.  We eventually got over
it by confronting our parents and they've been different ever
since.  However, it is always a problem outside of home. Since
I'm a girl, I could never be a better driver than a man and I
couldn't possibly know anything about cars.  Little did they know
that my uncle, my brother, and my friends have taught me a lot
about cars and driving techniques.  There are plenty of times
when I can prove a guy wrong and show him I know more about my
car than he knows about his. This guy challenged me to a car race
and I accepted.  Needless to say I left him behind picking up his
jaw from the ground because I told him my car would pick up quick
in the first gear.  I was way ahead of him before he even changed
into second gear, I could hear his car struggling over my roaring
engine.

#6. One time, while dancing at a club, I ran into a guy I knew
from my hometown. We talked and started dancing. In the middle of
the dance floor all of his friends crowded around. He then
proceeded to pass me around to all of his friends so they could
have the fun of dancing with me too. Needless to say I ran out of
the dance floor in disgust. This guy fit the stereotype of the
sex hungry, aggressive, drunk guy.

#6. I work in a program in which we do a lot of manual labor and
heavy lifting. When it comes to physical ability, men seem to
think that they were the only ones blessed with strength. They
like to feel superior to women. While working with the men in
this program, I was treated unfairly. I was told not to lift
something with a male, because he felt that someone else (another
male) could do it more easily. I insisted on trying and him
allowing me to help him myself and I proved myself and my
capability physically. I didnt like the underestimation that was
placed upon me. Im glad I had the chance to prove a point though.

#6.  Just this year, I met this guy who acted as if he was really
into me.  We would have these deep conversations and I really
enjoyed his company.  The first time we hooked up, he turned into
a totally different person.  He was not the gentle guy I had been
talking to for a while, but he was an overly-aggressive, sex
preoccupied man-whore.  He tried to have sex with me, without a
condom, and I told him to lay off.  So, he basically, pinned my
hands back and tried to get inside of me, regardless of what I
had just told him.  Luckily, I was smart enough to get out before
something serious happened.  I thought it was very unfair of this
guy who had been so cool and up-front about his personal life in
our many conversations, for the sole purpose of getting me into
bed.  I felt as if I had just been slapped in the face.  This
experience really makes me leery of guys...what do they really
want?

#6.  I have grown up on a farm and I am a lone woman working
among many men at home.  I remember one instance where I was
working with a piece of tractor equipment and I had to go to the
hardware store and pick up a rare sized metric bolt.  Everywhere
I went I faced men that treated me like I was stupid because I am
a woman.  I would ask them to help me look for it and in one
instance, the employee didn't even look for the bolt, he just
began helping another male customer as he told me to go somewhere
else because they don't have it.  The last place I went I had to
drop names and let them know who I was and what family I was from
so that he would realize that he needed to help me and find me
what I needed because my farm gives his store a lot of business.
Being a woman and working on a farm I am faced with a lot of
discrimination because I am a woman.  People question my
knowledge and overlook my opinions because they assume that I
don't know what I am talking about.

#6. I think that all women feel that they have been denied a
position or agreement in their beliefs because of the old
stereotypical idea that women are not as educated as men and are
not as strong as men. At work, male clients seen to treat us as
the little worker girls who are there to serve their every need,
when, in fact, they can walk their own dog into a room and get
their own flea protection (I work at a vet clinic).

#6. Men have not specifically treated me unfairly but I have
experienced a blanket discrimination that I consider unfair.  I
ride a quad (4-wheel motorcycle) and most guys assume that
because I am a girl that I cannot ride as well or even better
than they can.  I think this is unfair but it is a general
discrimination that I am used to.

#6.   There was one instance when I was at one of my guy friend's
houses and we were all barbequing steaks for dinner.  I was the
only girl there, but there were also a few guys there that I
wasn't very good friends with.  After we were done with the BBQ,
one of the guys I didn't know came up to me, gave me his plate
and said, "Here you go, you can do these with all the rest of
them".  I just looked at him and said, "Why don't you try doing
your own dishes".  Even though I should have said more, I was so
offended that I just had to walk away.

#6      I worked at Sport Chalet in the shoe department (a
sporting good store that had majority male employees), for about
2 years.  Our staff was supposed to take turns washing the socks
people would use to try on.  Coincidently every time the socks
needed to be washed, it just so happened that I was working. Not
once in the two years that I worked there did one of my fellow
male co- workers have to wash those gross socks.

#6 I have never been treated unfairly because I am a woman.

#6. I cannot think of any instances where I have been treated
unfairly because I am a girl. I know that I have experienced cat
calls and whistles when walking around, but I cannot think of
anything worse than that. I also tend to get really mad at things
like that so I don't allow the situation to get worse.

#6 I think a time where I have been treated unfairly by the
opposite sex was when a guy had to install a ink cartridge in my
printer, because he said that I wouldn't know how to do it. That
situation totally bothered me, because not only could I put the
cartridge in, I wasn't given a chance to do and it was assumed
that only a guy could do it and not a female because it was a
technical machine, and I a girl, wouldn't know how to do it or
figure it out. The next time the printer ran out of ink, I bought
the ink, unwrapped the package, put it in the printer, ran the
new cartridge sequence on the computer and then began printing,
just to prove him how wrong he was.


--------------------------------------------------------------

QUESTION #7. Can you think of any instances in which you have
been treated particularly well by the opposite sex, simply
because of your (or their) gender? If so, give a brief
description of what happened.

#7.  Members of the opposite sex have treated me fairly well at
times.  One of my friends, who is a guy, always knows the right
thing to say to me when I am upset.  He tells me the other person
is not worth it and I was a much better person.  He was much more
intune to what I needed to hear then my own girl friends.

#7.  Every time I go into this one music store all the guys come
and help me find what I need and then give me discounts.  I do
not dress provocatively or anything, I guess they just do not
have many females come in.

#7.  I guess it is assumed that I will do anything for free stuff
because I have higher levels of estrogen than testosterone.  Wow,
that's a bad assumption.  I was at Office Depot.  An older man
and I entered the store at the same time and both needed
assistance. Immediately two employees came up to me and offered
assistance.  This was odd, this had never happened to me before.
Both of them ignored the older man for a little while and both
helped me until one finally decided to leave.  I had all I needed
and the employee kept asking if I needed anything else to which I
said no, but he kept insisting that I not be shy and ask for help
(that was insulting).  I said that was all, so he rang me up and
gave me his employee discount and winked.   I didn't know what to
say, I didn't want his discount but he insisted.  I was a bit
disgusted but at least I did get my ink cartridge cheaper.  I
felt bad for the man who had to wait for help just because he was
a man, and I found the entire situation was ironic, but it never
would have happened if I didn't have the need for a bra.

#7.  In the event of chivalry, I am convinced that is when a man
is at his best.  Acts of chivalry (i.e. opening doors, walking on
the outside of the street) illustrate small aspects of a man's
character.  My best friend is a male and our relationship is
strictly plutonic. However, he always opens doors for me and I
know he holds me on such a high respect level by his actions
toward me. I have never experienced such good treatment from any
man as I do from him. He shakes my dads hand every time he comes
over and addresses him by Mr. It sounds kind of old fashioned,
but at the same time it is one of the classiest things I have
seen.

#7. I have been treated well in various situations that I can
relate to each other. It may have been luck in all three of these
situations, however it may have also been because I was a female
that I was treated so well. In instances of me facing higher
authority and having opportunities where I may have had to pay
the price for my own stupid actions, I have been let off the hook
by the opposite sex. In one instance, I was pulled over by a cop
for speeding. I WAS speeding, however, he just told me it was a
warning for me and decided not to ticket me, even though I was
driving almost 20 mph over the speed limit. In another instance,
it was on campus that the public safety officer was very close to
ticketing me. I consistently park, where I am technically not
supposed to on campus. I do not park in illegal parking, but in
parking that is not intended for me to park in for long periods
of time. Well, I ran into an officer when he was about to ticket
me and I explained to him that I was sorry. He didnt ticket me,
and he just kind of laughed at the idea that I always do that,
because he said he had seen my car there before. Another
situation was at the movie theaters. I had lost my parking stub,
and had only been there for a couple of hours so I would normally
have to pay the minimum $1, however because I didnt have proof
that I was there for that long, the man asked me to pay the
maximum $8. I had to try for a while to convince him that I
shouldnt have to pay, however after having told me no exceptions,
he let me go.

#7.  My best friend Frank, treats me extremely well.  HE does
things all the time...things that he knows girls appreciate.  For
instance, hell write me a nice note telling me he loves me, or
hell send me flowers on my birthday.  I think he would do this
for any of his friends, but because I am a girl, he does even
sweeter thing because he knows thats what I like.  He really
tries to understand women, I think, because he is very sensitive
to my feelings.

#7.  Sometimes I notice that when I am shopping many men ask to
help or insist that they help me carrying things because I am a
woman.  They'll carry my things to my car and they'll help me out
a little more than a man who may be standing next to me.  It only
seems to be men who help more, I don't think that women really
seem to offer extra help to me because I am a woman.

#7. I remember specifically going to COMPUSA in my hometown
(Dallas) looking for software for my endlessly frustrating Apple
computer. Two salesmen surrounded me, and after showing me the
software I needed, they both proceeded to show me techniques and
secrets of my Apple computer on the Apple computer models in the
store. After that, they offered me to do a photo advertisement
for the store that was for the newspaper. It was quite flattering
and very helpful, but I knew exactly why they kept helping me and
complimenting me.

#7. In the last question I said that I had been treated unfairly
because I ride a quad (4- wheel motorcycle) but the opposite is
also true.  When guys find out that I can ride and especially
when they see me ride they tend to put me on a little pedestal
because it is so out of the ordinary.  While it is unfair that
they should assume that all girls could not do the same I
definitely enjoy the attention.

#7.  I have been on dates with guys and they have offered to buy
my dinner, opened doors for me, and overall have been very nice
to me just because I was a girl.  I have also had my guy friends
defend me when they thought that another guy was bothering me at
a bar or something.  Overall I have very loyal and cool friends
who are guys.

#7      I was in a room with a bunch of guys last week, and they
were having their man talk.  I couldn't help think about our
class discussion and how everything guys say and do really is so
simple.  Some how the boys got on the topic of sex, and started
going off about things I didn't really care about hearing.
Without me having to say anything one of the guys noticed that I
was still in the room and said he thought it would be
disrespectful if they kept that conversation going.  Although the
boys shouldn't have been talking about it in the first place, it
was very mature of them to stop because there was a female in the
room.

#7 I have gotten out of traffic tickets and been allowed to the
front of lines, and I would attribute these things to the fact
that I am a woman.

#7. I know that I have been treated particularly well by guys
because I am a girl on several occasions. I sometimes get small
things like coffee and ice cream for free when guys are working.
Sometimes guys offer to let me cut in line at the grocery store.
I don't think that most guys would do those things for other
guys. Also, because some guys feel they have to pay for dates,
I've gotten lots of dinners and been to lots of movies for free.
I haven't had anything more exciting than that happen to me,
though.

#7 A time where I have had special treatment because of my gender
was when I went to get a taillight fixed at a gas station. The
male attendant only asked me to pay four dollars to fix to
taillight, and when my boyfriend went to get his taillight fixed
that afternoon, just to see what they would do for a guy, the
same guy who helped me was going to charge him fifteen dollars
for the same problem.


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QUESTION #8.  Describe an instance, or instances, when you have
been rejected by someone of the opposite sex  to whom you were
attracted.  How did they reject you?  Was their behavior
inconsiderate, rude or insensitive?  How did it make you feel?
How might they have done it in a more considerate way?

#8.  I was rejected once by a friend who I cared about as
something much more. He told me he just wanted to be friends.
While at first I was hurt, I appreciated his honesty and respect
for our friendship.  Instead of leading me on, he told me up
front.  I respected that and we are still friends today.  I can
get over rejection, but not a friend who uses me.

#8.  This one guy I really liked and got along well with would
not talk to me or call me back.  Part of the reason was because I
got into a fight with his friend, even though I was right.  He
told a mutual friend it was because the manner I used to handle
the situation was not respectable and accepted by his religion.
I think he could have talked to me directly and could have at
least heard my side of the story.

#8.  Basically I was rejected in an immature and rude manner.  We
were always in communication and one day he decided he wanted to
end it but didn't know how so he stopped calling.  Suddenly, he
wasn't taking any of my calls and he wasn't calling me.  It was
ridiculous.  I had to find out from his friend that he wanted to
end it but didn't want to hurt my feelings.  I thought it was so
stupid.  Instead he decided to make me worry at first thinking
something might have happened (his mother had been very ill ). In
turns out that he wanted to avoid me and the relationship would
"fade" away.  I gave him one last phone call and left him a
message on his machine telling him how big a coward he was.  It
was completely inconsiderate and cowardly.  If you're going to be
in a relationship with someone you should have the courage and
courtesy to let them know that you want to end it.

#8.  A guy rejected me because I wouldnt have sex with him. After
a month of dating and no action for him, he decided to tell me he
didnt even want to kiss me because it would make him want to have
sex and he couldnt deal with blue balls. I found this way of
rejection one of the most outrageous lines ever.  To give him
some credit, I do admire his honesty.  Most likely I wouldve gone
through more pain had he lied to me or made up a pathetic excuse
not to date me. Although it was painful, I had to laugh more than
cry just because of the level of absurdity.

#8. I have never asked out anybody of the opposite sex. This
makes it easy for me to have never been rejected. However, I can
relate a time when I felt as though I wasnt getting the attention
I had expected from a guy of my interest who had also had an
interest in me. He was talking to other girls, just as friends,
and he was hanging out with his friends, and I felt shunned and
ignored. He could have told me that thats what he had wanted to
do, rather than letting me think we were there together and we
were going to hang out. I think I would have understood.

#8.  Well, I am the type of person who does not pursue a guy
unless I know I can get him.  My biggest mistake is that I will
only go for a guy if he shows interest in me.  I guess I am a
chicken.  So, truthfully I have never really been flat out
rejected, because I dont allow that to happen.  IN a lot of ways,
I wish I could be that person who falls head over heels for a guy
who I think is attractive, but I just havent really got that
feeling yet.  I, honestly, have never fallen hard for a guy who
doesnt have interest in me.

#8. Ah ha, story time. Well, I had broken up with a boyfriend
earlier that summer, and a friend of mine expressed an interest
in me. I waited, until I was ready to get back into a
relationship, and we finally started dating. I thought it was
going well, until one Friday night. I was in a play, which he
came to see. There was a senior dance that next month, and we
always had inventive ways to ask our dates. So I asked my
boyfriend then, Adam, onstage, in a cue-card fashion. I had huge
posters with all the words of the question, Adam, how bout
Snowball? and the audience read every card that went up  I
thought it was great! And it was! Until about fifteen minutes
later, when he broke up with me, telling me that he thought of me
as a sister. After waiting for so long, and after a few months of
him pushing a relationship, it ended on HIS end, because I was a
sister to him. I had become attracted to him, and happy with him.
Seriously though, he shouldve figured out this whole sister thing
before we even began dating.

#8. I had a very close male friend when I started college and I
had a crush on him from the start.  Eventually after a few months
of hanging out we started to hook up. Unfortunately, I wanted
more than a hook up relationship.  I confronted him about it and
he told me that he was not ready for a relationship.  He was very
sweet about the whole thing and while I was a little bit
disappointed it did not crush me.  We remained friends but just
eliminated the romantic elements of our relationship.  I think
that if he had done it in a more insensitive way we would not
have remained friends, but he handled it perfectly so that
neither one of us would lose out on our friendship.

#8.  The only time I have really been rejected from the opposite
sex is when I have been at a bar with my friends and a guy has
denied my request for them to buy me a drink.  I didn't really
feel hurt; actually I don't blame them for not wanting to spend
their money on a girl that they don't even know.

#8      I told one of my guy friends that I think I had feelings
for him that went beyond friendship.  He said that what we had
was too special and that he didn't was to jeopardize losing me as
a friend.  I guess if there is any way I would want to be
rejected that would have to be it.  Rejection always hurts, but I
would rather it be like that than in a more harsh way.

#8 I cant think of an incidence that I was rejected by the
opposite sex.  I would classify myself as a self-consious person
and don't take many risks involving the opposite sex.  I have a
tendency not to go after someone I think might reject me, for
fear of being hurt. Once I am involved with someone I take
greater risks and am more willing to be hurt.

#8. I am very fortunate to never have been rejected by someone I
was attracted to. Not because I am anything special, but because
I don't put myself into the kind of situation where I could be
rejected. I am not the kind of person that has a lot of crushes
that end up not working out. I usually don't really become
attracted to a person until I get to know them and by that time I
can tell if they like me, too. Even then I still don't make the
first move. If I do make a move, I wait until it is obvious that
I won't be rejected. That way is safer.

#8 A time when someone of the opposite sex had rejected me was
when a boyfriend decided that he didn't want to go out anymore.
At first he tried to be sensitive and kind but then when I was
not responding to his sensitivity and kindness in the way he
would have liked, he got really defensive and mean. I think, in
the end, he tried to be kind, but then got flustered because his
plan wasn't working out the way he had hoped and it was too hard
to be honest with me when I asked tough questions. I think that
he could have stayed calm and have been honest when we were
talking and not raised his voice and sarcasm. It would have made
the whole conversation more pleasant and the friendship afterward
easier to start.


----------------------------------------------------------------------

Imagine that you have known someone of the opposite sex for about
a month.  You have dated this person several times, but so far
there hasn't been any kind of physical intimacy (holding hands,
kissing, etc.) between the two of you. Now, you are out on a date
with this person again.

How would you try to influence this person in each of the
following circumstances:

QUESTION #9. Situation 1: The date has been going very well and
you feel very physically attracted to this person.  How would you
influence this person to become physically intimate, and to go as
far sexually as you wanted to go?


#9.  If I wanted things to get more serious, I would either
initiate or make more eye contact and physical contact to let the
person know I was interested. As for letting my sexual boundaries
known, I would either make them known up front, or let them know
when they had been reached by simply saying no and sticking to
it.

#9.  I do not believe in forcing or influencing intimacy.
Clothing, communication, and body language are key factors.  But,
unless both people are on the same level then maybe neither of
them are ready to become more intimate.  Body language is rather
easy to understand, and best used to let each other know what
each other are feeling.

#9.  First, I would talk to him and try to figure out why he is
the way he is. I would like to find out if he's not attracted to
me like I'm attracted to him or what other reasons he may have
for behaving the way he did.  It could be for religious reasons,
he might think it's out of respect for me, whatever it may be I
would attempt to find out first.  After finding out the
information and the attraction is mutual, then I would let him
know how I felt about him and how intimate I would like to be.
This could be as subtle or as blunt as it needs to be, depending
on the way he responds to things.  This could be taking his hand,
kissing him, and just simply telling him what I wanted.

#9.  Situation 1:  I would make very subtle physical movements
toward him.  I would touch his arm when talking to him or push
him lightly while making a flirty joke. The most noticeable thing
to do would be to look straight into his eyes longer than usual
when carrying on a discussion. I would not be the one to make the
first kiss, but attempt to draw in the first move through this.

#9. Influencing a man physically to be intimate is not a hard
thing for a girl. If I had to be the one to initiate something
physical between myself and a man, I would simply wait until the
end of the date to try. I would wait until the goodbye and all I
would do was hug him and when I leaned back from the hug, keep my
face very close to his, allowing our mouths to be very close. I
would stare for a second, showing some hesitation, and then I
would allow him to kiss me, which I highly doubt he wouldnt do.
And if he didnt make the move, I would kiss him softly.

#9.  I would flirt a lot with the person and kind of feel them
out on the situation.  If the guy flirts back a lot, I would lean
in for a kiss and see how he responds to that.  Or after each
date, I would kiss him on the cheek and see how he responds.  If
he seems ready for something more, we can see what will happen on
the next date.  I wouldnt want to freak him out though.  If I
really like this person, I would be willing to wait for the
intimacy part. Communication early on is key in a good
relationship.  Intimacy can be saved for later if I really like
this guy.

#9.  If I had been dating the person for a month, I would feel
comfortable to be more forward than if I had only dated the man a
few times.  I would feel comfortable kissing him outright or just
grabbing his hand.  Of course I would feel nervous that he
wouldn't want to return the gesture or that he wasn't welcoming
it at all, but I would know that he would want me to make those
moves by the way he looked at me and other signs that I would be
able to see.  When I want something physical, I usually just do
it or tell them what I want, I don't like to play games and hope
they will make the first move and all those other stereotypical
girly things.

#9.  I would push for small things, like holding hands or
touching his leg, just to get the idea of sexual behavior in his
mind. After dropping a few hints, I would see if he would make
any moves, and if not, I would go for the direct approach, and do
it myself.

#9. I must say that I would probably be very blunt even though
that is more of a male trait.  I have never been a person to
spend time with someone that I had a romantic interest in if they
did not feel the same way.  I would probably just start with
something simple like grabbing their hand or some other small
gesture.  Depending on how they react to this I would continue
from there.  If they reacted negatively I would ask them what was
wrong and if they reacted positively I might ask them something
along the lines of, can I kiss you.  Either way it does neither
one of us any good to keep playing games and never get anywhere.

#9.  I would probably start making little gestures to give the
guy hints that I wanted to become intimate.  I would casually
touch them in conversation or when we were just hanging out.  I
would grab their hand when we were walking.  I may even go in for
the first kiss if I was feeling daring that night.  If all of
that failed, I would probably just flat out ask them why they
weren't interested.

#9      I would just flirt a lot!!!  If he began to flirt back,
then I would think it would be okay to make the next move if he
didn't.  I would probably lean over and kiss him and see how he
reacted.  If it was a good reaction, than things could only get
better, if it was bad...then I would know not to try to kiss him
again.

#9 I think being a girl makes it really easy to get a guy to go
as far sexually as you would want, just say the word.

#9. If I were out on a date with someone that I was attracted to
and I wanted them to know that I was ready to become physically
intimate I would send little hints. I would probably try to sit
close to that person and face them so that they know that they
have my attention. Maybe I'd find an excuse to touch them a
little bit or make some sexual comment. I wouldn't do anything
too obvious or manipulative like trying to get the person drunk.
If the person was responding to me and I could tell that they
were into it I might make the first move by kissing them, but
that is as adventurous as I get.


#9 To see if the guy was thinking along the same lines I was, I
would bring up cute movies or kind of bump into him to see what
his reactions would be. I would try doing the little things to
see if we were both on the same level. Other than that I wouldn't
do anything else to make the relationship go any further. I think
that if there was suppose to be something between us there would
be and something would just happen I wouldn't have to make it or
force it to happen. It just would.


----------------------------------------------------------------------

QUESTION #10. Situation 2:  The date has been going well, but you
do not feel particularly physically attracted by this person.
However, you can tell that this person is really turned on by
you.  Still, you know you're not interested in physical intimacy,
and/or the subsequent involvement or commitment that might
follow. How would you influence this person to avoid becoming
sexual?

#10.  I would be upfront and say I did not have feelings of that
sort for them. I think it is better to be honest and fair to the
person than leading them on. To avoid becoming sexual I would eat
as much garlic as I could and keep a far distance at all times.

#10.  The only way I have dealt with this situation is through
body language and strait forward statements.  Keeping distance
from him and avoid contact at all times! If he persists then
bluntly let him know you are not all right with it through words.

#10.  If I felt that he was attracted but I wasn't, I would bring
it up before it went any further and he got the idea that I was
in fact interested.  I believe in honesty, so I would let him
know where I stand.  This means letting him know my level of
attraction or maybe any type of restrictions I have on myself for
personal reasons.

#10.  Situation 2: I would act as friendly as I could as if I was
on a date with a friend. I am not one for being blunt. Instead,
Id hint how tired I was and even bring up other guys that I am
friends with or have dated. If he did try to make a move, I would
completely turn away from him and tell him I wanted nothing more
from him.

#10. Well, I would catch it before he even attempted to make a
move physically on me. I would carry a really good conversation,
and in the midst of it, I would make a comment like You know,
youre exactly what I want in a close friend of mineIm glad I have
you as a friend.. Then I would feel much more comfortable, even
if he didnt get the point right awayand I had to say it straight
out later in the date. That line would be an icebreaker for that
turn down.

#10.  That situation sucks.  I would probably tell him that I
think its a turn- off when guys make the first move.  I would
also drop subtle hints about how I dont want an intimate
relationship right now.  If I am ready to make a move I will let
him know.

#10.  If I wasn't attracted to the person sexually, I would first
mention things about how much of a good friend he is and hope
that would keep him from trying to advance physically.  If that
didn't work, I would let him know that I wasn't interested in him
in that way if he tried to kiss me or hold my hand or something
like that.

#10. I would use body language, like arms crossed, or turning
away to prevent any unwanted moves. If he kept on trying, I would
just tell him that I didnt think that was a good idea, or
purposely put myself in a situation around several other people
or have my mom call my cell phone and make me come home (its
worked before!).

#10. I am not someone to lead anybody on if I was not physically
attracted to this guy it is highly doubtful I would even be on
the date.  However, if I did find myself in this situation I
would want to make it as comfortable as possible.  I would do
anything, even lie, to let him know that it was not his fault.  I
think the most important thing would be to not hurt this person's
ego because it is not his fault that I am not attracted to him.

#10.  I would not act very interested.  I would avoid situations
in which we had to be close to each other.  I would probably just
act really shy and avoid any time where he may be able to kiss
me, or do any other intimate activity.  Then, to be fair to the
guy, I would tell him how I was feeling and probably stop seeing
him.

#10     I wouldn't flirt, especially in a physical manner.  I
would bring up the fact that I thought it was wrong for guys to
make the first move, and that if a girl is ready she will let the
guy know.  Hopefully this will clue the guy in and let him know
it would be in his best interest not to do anything unless in
initiated it.

#10.  It all would depend on if I felt pressured or not.  If I
did I would ask to go home, right after dinner and tell him that
I had a lot of things going on in my life at the time would be
very busy.  If there was little pressure but the attraction was
there I would justavoid the situation and talk about it at a
later time to avoid embarrassing him.

#10. If the person who is attracted to me is nice then I would be
polite to him, but not send him any signals that would lead the
person to think that I am attracted to him. I would probably keep
a good distance between the two of us and maybe even have my arms
crossed. At the end of the date I would quickly leave so that
there wouldn't be a chance for him to try to kiss me or anything.
If the guy is really trying too hard and making me uncomfortable,
I would be rude and tell him that I was not attracted to him. I
don't think that it is good for the guy or myself if I lead him
on.

#10 I would tell the guy that I wasn't interested in him the same
way that he was in me. I know it sounds harsh but honestly and
openness is what needs to happen in any type of relationship and
I would hope that the guy would understand and still would want
to be friends. It is hard to keep a relationship honest and open
but it makes for a more stable and truer one in the end.


-----------------------------------------------------------------

SENTENCE COMPLETION

For each of the following sentence fragments, complete the
sentence, and, if you wish, add a few more sentences to complete
your thought.  Do not include the sentence stem in your
response--only your answer to it.

QUESTION #11.  In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a
tendency to become "insanely" jealous when...


#11.  I think the opposite sex gets jealousy when you hang out
with their gender a lot and have close friends that are of the
opposite gender.  Guys tend to feel threatened by that factor.

#11.  When talking to or referring to other guys, unless it is in
a negative manner.  Having close guy friends becomes a problem,
most of the time he wont admit it though. Even when a girls night
out comes up, jealousy is a problem.

#11.  Another man is talking to me, even if it may be my cousin,
if he doesn't know who it is, he becomes jealous.

#11. .you are friends with a guy they hate.

#11. I can do more physical labor than them, or when my status in
the workplace is higher than their own, whether it comes to how
much money I make or my actual position. Man like to feel like
the provider and the breadwinner of the family. Therefore they
feel they should be able to accomplish much more than women so
they can have that higher status and superiority to the women.

#11.  We talk to other guys or other guys talk to us.  They like
to be in charge of their territory.  On the other hand, some guys
dont really care when another guy is talking to me and sometimes,
I wish they would show a little healthy jealously.

#11.  another man makes an advance on me if we are dating or
together, or if I look at another man.

#11. Anyone else seems to come in on his girlfriend.

#11. I talk about an ex-boyfriend that I cared a great deal
about.

#11.  You tell them about a guy who was hitting on you at a bar
or a party. Also, they get jealous when they know that one of
their friends is interested in you.  Especially if you hang out
with them, and talk about them a lot.  They start to think that
you like the guy and that would make any guy (boyfriend) insanely
jealous.

#11     ...another male expresses interest in me.  If I am
talking to my boyfriend on the phone and I even mention another
mans name the questions instantly begin to come.  Who is he?  How
did you meet him?  Does he know you have a boyfriend?

#11 I have a close friends of the opposite sex whom I spend a lot
of time with, or refer to a lot.

#11. they suspect that someone else can fulfill your needs
(emotionally and physically) better than they can.

#11. when another guy wants to be friends with you


-----------------------------------------------------

QUESTION #12.  When it comes to initiating sexuality for the
first time, the opposite sex...


#12.  The opposite does tend to initiate things more than my
gender.  They tend to be more direct in telling you what they
want and tend to go for it more than we do.

#12.  Initiates it or he is met half way.

#12.  Tends to take control and goes right for what he wants.

#12. ..it's more aggressive than females.

#12. seems very eager, yet tries to hide their excitement about
the opportunity. They will hint at it or initiate it in a way
that seems very subtle to them, so they think it will be subtle
to the woman, however it is more obvious than they think it is.

#12.  Is ready and rearing to go.  IN my experience, the male
species is way to aggressive and will avoid conversation so that
they can get to the intimate part.

#12.  usually does it first, but if I want it to happen I am not
afraid to be the first.

#12. Holds back some and lets his girlfriend make the risky
moves, as to not offend her.

#12. is very concerned with me being comfortable and enjoying
myself.

#12.  Is either extremely shy, or way too aggressive.  There
needs to be some sort of happy medium.  I wish that guys could
just get the clue when you want to kiss them, and especially when
you don't want to kiss them.  Yet, I don't expect them to be mind
readers, so I guess you can't blame a guy for trying, or not
trying.

#12     ...overall is much more forceful than females.  It most
often appears as though sex is much more important to males than
females.  Men are more likely to initiate sex, or to bring it up
as a conversation topic.

#12  is generally the one to make the first move.  If they feel
that it is being well received that can get more aggressive.  I
have never been in a situation that where I felt that the guy was
overly aggressive or intrusive.

#12. tends to be more aggressive.

#12 fumbles and gets all nervous


---------------------------------------------------------

QUESTION #13.  The opposite sex seems clueless about...

#13.  The opposite sex seems clueless about emotions.  People get
hurt and it is a fact of life.  Crying does not make you weak, it
shows you care and express yourself.  No one should be punished
for that.

#13.  Many things, including self presentation and interest in
things that do not necessarily have anything to do with him.  The
thought of relating his inner feeling seems to be altogether
foreign.

#13.  What we are really thinking.  For example, we might not be
thinking about having sex on top of the pin ball machine like
they are, but they assume we're thinking it because they are.
Our fantasies aren't always as sudden.

#13. ..the lives of girls and all that they do to make themselves
up physically.

#13. The opposite sex seems clueless about cleaning to a certain
extent. I have known men who are very tidy and very organized,
however no matter how clean of a person they are, they still seem
to not know exactly how to clean properly or to the greatest
extent. Just as they seem to notice things superficially, they
are the same when it comes to cleaning. As long as it looks good,
they think it is clean enough.

#13.  communicating.  They do not realize how easy it is to pick
up the phone and let us know whats going on.

#13.  our subtle hints when we don't want to be blunt and just
tell them outright what we mean.

#13. Womens feelings.

#13. understanding and communicating with women.

#13.  They seem clueless about girl's emotions.  I know that
girls can be way too emotional at times, but that is something
that we can't usually help.  It is not fair to make fun of girls
for crying too much, or for having PMS.  They just don't get it.

#13     ...women's emotions and feelings.  Men don't always think
about how women feel, and don't always consider how a woman might
feel about a certain thing a man is doing.

#13 the inner workings of the female mind.  There are complex
thoughts that woman have that men will never understand, and this
is probably for the best.

#13. what girls really find attractive.

#13 how to stay in a loving and growing relationship

------------------------------------------------------------------------

QUESTION #14.  Being romantic is something that the opposite
sex...

#14.  Being romantic is something the opposite sex seems to fear.
Letting your guard down can be scary but you have to trust
people.  While they can be great at it, they seem to be very
resistant to it.  If you show me you care, I will not tease you
or expose you.

#14.  Being romantic is something the opposite sex needs a little
help in.  When dealing with the stereotypical romantic
candlelight dinner anyone can learn that.

#14.  Thinks we want all the time.

#14rarely does, but in the case of doing so go all out.

#14. is extremely capable of doing. It may be rare, but when they
pull through, THEY PULL THROUGH!!! Its so romantic at times, it
seems they must have seen a lot of romance movies or had a lot of
male figures in their life giving them good advice!

#14.  Lacks.  Do guys bring girls on nice dates anymore?

#14.  is rarely able to do.  I have never been given flowers, and
a man has never wanted to do the typical romantic things with me
- walking on the beach, dancing, etc.

#14. Doesnt quite understand; although they sometimes
occasionally do romantic things, they never think to be very
romantic.

#14. will only do if they are deeply in love with someone.

#14.  In my past experiences, I have found that the opposite sex
can be very romantic at times.  They will never do the things
that you see in movies, but it is almost better to have them
think of cute things on their own.  I have had some very romantic
nights that were thought up by my boyfriend.

#14     ...is either really good at, or really bad at.  All the
guys I have ever been with have been totally different as far as
romanticism goes.  Some are totally overkill and others have no
sense of being romantic at all.

#14 can be very good at if they have a vested interest and
respect for the woman they are with.  Otherwise it is non-
existant.

#14. has trouble doing at first, but then I think they enjoy it
as much as girls do.

#14 is good at when they want to


----------------------------------------------------------------------

QUESTION #15.  Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts
their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship
"tests" by...


#15.  The tests I think a guy puts his girlfriend through
included not calling to see if you call back, seeing if it is ok
to spend time with the guys, and how you are around your friends.

#15.  Making sure she gets along with friends and then if it is
serious on to the torture of meeting the family.  Constant tests
of trust through the relationship occur because of insecurity
reasons.

#15.  Introducing them to their friends so they're friends can
take a vote and to see how the interaction goes.

#15. ..testing boundaries of interactions between other members
of the opposite sex, how much or how little of feeling expression
is exchanged, and how easily annoyed the other can be and what
triggers that annoyance.

#15. wanting a lot of friend time just for the sake of not
appearing whipped to their friends. They may want to hang out,
but instead, they will sacrifice time with their girlfriend just
so that they can maintain their masculine image.

#15.  Many times, they will make sure if you can get along ok
with their friends. I definitely understand this.  That is very
important.

#15.  putting women through a series of "sexual tests" - as in
will she go this far with me, or what won't she do.  I think that
women look for commitment and sensitivity, and men look for
sexual ideas.

#15. Seeing if their faithfulness is constant, or easy to be
disrupted. And also seeing if theyre the right one for them.

#15. asking about their ex-boyfriends or male friends to ensure
that nothing is going on. In general, however, most men do not
test a woman they just see how things play out.

#15.  Girls are really good at putting guys to tests.  They will
say stuff and ask questions just to see what their boyfriend will
say.  They will also test them by taking them to meet their
friends and family and seeing how they get along.  There are many
"tests" that are basically just stupid mind games that boys and
girls play on each other.

#15     ...seeing how they get along with their friends, or how
they act in a tempting situation with another male.

#15 not calling and testing that amount of time until she gets
angry, by hanging out with his friends and seeing when she feels
neglected, and by asking questions to see how much she will tell
him about her past.

#15. asking hypothetical questions.

#15 asking, "hypothetically speaking" type questions


---------------------------------------------------------------------

QUESTION #16.  The opposite sex seems to support equality for the
sexes except when it comes to...


#16.  They seem to be opposed to abortion.  I believe that no man
should have a say.  The day you carry it is the day you can
decide the outcome.  It is our body, not yours.

#16.  Affect their fun.  Women are treated as objects for
entertainment and pleasure. Most males do not like to spoil their
own fun by sacrificing things for something that does not include
them.

#16.  Salary.  Men don't really seem to notice that women make
less money, even though we may have more education.

#16.  physical sports.

#16. physical ability. They have a macho attitude that they are
stronger physically than a female. If they cannot live up to and
surpass a females abilities physically, they may feel like less
of a man.

#16.  driving.  Guys always have to drive.  Many of them make
comments that girls are bad drivers, when I know that I am a very
good driver.  This bothers me.

#16.  women working in the kitchen and the home, and women "pms-
ing" when they are in a bad mood.

#16. Strength.

#16. raising a family.  I think most men still expect women to do
most of the child- rearing but women expect the same thing.

#16.  They do not support equality all the time when it comes to
driving.  Guys definitely think that guys are better drivers
overall.  Also, guys and girls aren't always thought of in the
same way when it comes to jobs, and families. Guys are usually
thought of as the moneymakers and women are the homemakers.  It
kind of sucks if guys think a girl could not be able to get or
handle the same job as a man.

#16     ...doing household chores.  Men say that everything is
equal, yet when I ask my boyfriend to help me with dusting or
dishes all I get is a blank stare in return.

#16 house chores, child care, military positions and some job
opportunities.

#16. things that work to their advantage.

#16 situations where they have to give up the bragging rights to
a girl


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QUESTION #17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite
sex...

#17.  Possessiveness is something the opposite sex seems to have
a good handle on.  They don't seem to care too much sometimes who
their girlfriend hangs out with, but if they do, I think they get
out of hand.  Spending time with someone else is not trying to
replace you.

#17.  Uses to control someone in order to fill their own needs
and security.

#17.  Needs to acknowledge and control.

#17. .seems to not only toward girlfriends, but friends that are
girls. I think it is a territorial guy thing.

#17. is an owner of. They do not like other men to look at their
girlfriends or wife because they feel that the girls body is just
theirs to look at. They dont even like other guys to talk to
their girlfriend or wife even if it is just her friend.

#17.  Some guys are extremely possessive, while other guys are
not possessive enough.  I definitely do not like possessiveness.
It is scary and damaging to a relationship.  But when a guy does
not have a positive level of possessiveness, it kind of sucks,
because you do not feel worthy and loved.

#17.  does too much.  Not all men are possessive, but if one is,
it is usually to the extreme.

#17. Somewhat understands, but depends on the type of guy. Most
are not possessive, although, they are protective.

#17. does when they are really in love and have a small trust
issue.

#17.  Most guys are very positive about their own lives and the
activities they participate in.  Or at least they seem positive
on the outside.  I think that a lot of guys are pretty
pessimistic, but they just don't show it.  They also seem to be
more pessimistic when it comes to girls.  I don't know why.

#17     ...definitely has.  It seems as thought many men are so
possessive over their girlfriends that it often pushes them away.

#17 can take to a dangerous level.  Although not common, men can
become physically violent.  Woman can be just as harmful but
generally not in a physically damaging way.

#17. has a problem controlling.

#17 has to work on getting over


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QUESTION #18.  When it comes to physical attractiveness, the
opposite sex...

#18.  The opposite sex bases too much on attractiveness.
Personality counts and it stays around longer than looks, get
used to it.

#18.  Is very nice, especially if they are tall and built.

#18.  Is obsessed, and it is their only concern.

#18. relies mainly on appearance including face, body, and hair.

#18. is master of noticing it first. Males have an inherent
obsession with the physical attractiveness of a woman. They will
also at times let this take precedence to the personality of the
female.

#18.  I like how guys look.  They dont have to try too hard, but,
on the other hand it sucks that guys dont have things to hide
their imperfections, like females do.  Its cool that guys dont
have to wear makeup and stuff though, to look good.

#18.  is more attractive because of their personality than their
physical appearance.

#18. Concentrates on the body, especially tits and ass.

#18. looks at it as more of a requirement.  Men tend to be very
visually aroused and so they need to have a partner that they
find appealing.

#18.  They are very attractive.  Yet I feel like it is a lot
easier for girls to be attractive than a guy to be.  Guys don't
wear makeup and they don't primp like girls do.  They also don't
show off their bodies as much, and they don't have the advantage
of wearing clothes that make them and their bodies look more
attractive.  For a guy to be attractive, it usually has to do
with his face only.

#18     ...always seems to find the physical aspect of a women
much more important than the emotional side.  I definitely think
this changes over time, but a man is more likely to approach a
beautiful woman than an average or even below average looking
woman.

#18 is attractive when they take care of themselves, but not if
they try too hard.  I find them the most attractive when they
carry themselves confidently and when they are in good shape.

#18. can become unattractive if they have a bad personality.

#18 has to work on it


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QUESTION #19.  Money and status is are things that the opposite
sex...

#19.  I think men tend to value status and money more than women.
Men always seem to be in competition with one another, this is
another way to show what hot shit they are.

#19.  Could have or not have, it does not make much of a
difference to me. Money is always a bonus though.

#19.  Treasure, and believe it is what defines them.

#19 .seem to not really care about at least in my experience.

#19. gain most of their pride and self-assurance from. Men have a
dominant image in society and they feel they must live up to that
and maintain it through money and status.

#19.  Im not really sure about this one.  I think guys like
having money, like anyone and status.  But, there are plenty of
guys who can make do without money and just live simple lives.
As guys get older though, I think these things become more
important, as they need to provide for their wife and children
and need to survive in the business world.

#19.  care about too much.  I think that men care about money and
status too much, and assume that women will think more of them
because of their money and status.

#19. Dont have to have to be a winner in my book.

#19. do not think about that much.

#19.  Is very concerned with.  Guys are definitely more
competitive than girls are.  They want to make the most money and
have the best job and the best life when they get older.

#19     ...don't really look at.  I don't think a man would look
at a woman and approach her just because she has a lot of money
and a high social status.  That might be a plus down the line,
but I don't think it would be the main reason for a man to be
with a woman.

#19 use to measure their success.

#19. need to have if their personality sucks.

#19 makes apart of their values and goals


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QUESTION #20.  It hurts me most when the opposite sex...


#20.  It hurts when the opposite sex fails to show how they feel.
I can tell when they are lying, I don't see why they lie when I
know them so well.

#20.  Degrades and belittles women, treating us as an inferior
being.

#20.  Underestimates women and devalues us just because we lack a
penis.

#20. looks at women like meat.


#20. lies to me, in order to save me from hurting. I dont like to
be lied to, even if the person thinks it is for my own good. I
also HATE the phrase, What she doesnt know wont hurt her! I
always seem to find out.

#20.  It is very hurtful when guys do not admit they are wrong.
I think that they can be too stubborn sometimes, and self-
righteous, which can hurt my feeling when I just want them to be
sorry.

#20.  cares too much about how I look and makes me feel
uncomfortable by treating me like an object instead of a human.

#20. Doesnt treat me as a special girl, objectifies me, or
insults my ideas.

#20. uses the 'I'm a guy' excuse to slobber over every girl they
come across.

#20.  Puts girls down and makes mean comments about girls being
fat or ugly. They are the reason why girls become anorexic and
feel bad about themselves constantly.  It hurts when guys make
fun of people to their face and are just flat out mean without
caring.

#20     ...ignores me.  Nothing is worse than when one of my guy
friends blows me off like I don't even exist.

#20 Lies to me.  For instance I was with a guy for a while and
things werent too serious yet, but were on the verge of becoming
serious.  He gave me the impressioin that he was interested in
haveing a more involved realtionship.  He would call everyday,
and introduce me to all his friends.  He also refered to me as
his girlfriend when other girls would ask about us.  Then all of
a sudden he stopped calling me, and for three days when I would
call him he lied to me and told me he was sleeping or doing work.
I found out a later that when he said he was going to bed he was
actually having people over to his house.  I think it is the most
painful when the opposite sex lies to me, it makes me feel and
look stupid to those who know what is going on.

#20. disregards my feelings by writing them off as PMS.

#20 tries to hide the truth, women always know when someone is
lying, especially men


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QUESTION #21.  I feel best about the opposite sex when...

#21.  When the opposite sex treats me fairly and with respect.  I
am a person and I deserve the same amount of respect and fairness
they do.  We are equals.

#21.  They are interested in my accomplishments, strengths and
intellect.



#21.  They redeem themselves and show that they are not complete
jerks.  They show compassion and understanding every now and
then.

#21. .I have a friendship with them. I value my male friends very
much.

#21. I am hanging out with him and his friends because I feel
trusted just as much as one of his buddies, and that makes me
feel like I hold a high status in his mind.

1.  I dated this one guy in high school for a short time span.  I
started to like him, originally, because whenever I hung out with
him and his friends, he was very charming and had a really great
sense of humor.  When he found out I liked him, he started to pay
more attention to me and eventually we started to date.  Dating
him was very strange.  We never had a deep and meaningful
conversation about our relationship ever, and whenever I saw him,
we would be around all his friends.  So, basically I never knew
this guy on a one-to one basis because he would just shut down
when I tried to have a half-way personal conversation with him.
The only time we were alone was when we hooked up, which, God-
forbid never included any form of communication.  Eventually we
broke up.         I believe that his lack of communication was
definitely a result of him being a male. I also take into account
that we were in high school, he was immature and most likely just
wanted a regular hook-up.  He was also very scared of commitment
as he always had to be around his friends when I was around.  I
just do not understand why he asked me to be his girlfriend in
the first place, if he was not going to treat me like one.  I
also found it puzzling why he could never open up to me.  What I
found very strange though, is that he would tell all my friends
and his friends how much he liked me, but yet he never treated me
like someone he liked a lot.  He couldnt tell me how he felt
also, which just makes no sense to me.

#21.  When guys do little things that would normally be difficult
for them, just because they know you like it.  For instance, when
you are having a bad day and they encourage you by saying sweet
things, out of the ordinary, and getting you flowers.  Its all
about the little things.

#21.  he can be my friend and just be fun to hang around.  I like
it when we can set aside our differences and just have a good
time.


#21. They treat me like a good person who is intelligent and has
her own ideas that may not coincide with theirs. Also, respect.


#21. they are so proud to have you as their girlfriend.


#21.  They say nice things about other people and girls in
general.  It makes me really happy when a guy talks about how
cool a girl is that they just went out with, even if she isn't
very cute.  I also feel good about the opposite sex when they are
understanding of others and respect how other people look and
act. #21     ...they want to listen to me.  It is often hard to
talk to one of your girlfriends in certain situations, so it's
nice when a guy cares about what you are talking to him about.

#21 they surprise me and enforce my belief that men and woman can
have mature and mutually understanding relationships.

#21. I have a  really good relationship with at least one person
of the opposite sex.