WOMEN, SPRING 03

 

 

PSYC 222

 

HOMEWORK INSTRUCTIONS

 

Due date:  1 Week from today (Worth 3 points).

 

 

YOUR NAME: _________________________________

 

Read the attached comments about the opposite sex written by the

females in this class (or by females in other sections of this

course).

 

Answer the following questions (your answers need not be typed--

you can write on this sheet if you wish). Indicate the page

number and area of the page where the comment can be found (e.g.,

column 1 or 2; top, middle or bottom of the column).

 

You will discuss your reactions in small groups during the next

class session.

 

Which of the written comments made by the females:

 

 

1.  ...was written so well or eloquently, or addressed such a

personal issue, that it evoked a sincere sense empathy in you?

 

 

2.  ...disturbed and/or upset you, and why?

 

 

3.  ...honestly revealed something about female perceptions,

feelings or thoughts that you suspect that they generally might

be very reluctant to admit to if their comments were not

anonymous.

 

 

4.  ...seemed to be a particularly good example of one of the

robust gender differences predicted by evolutionary psychology.

 

 

5.  ...that you found, in general, surprising and/or particularly

interesting.

 

 

 

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QUESTION #1. Think about the previous interactions you have had

with the opposite sex. Has a situation ever occurred with someone

of opposite sex that you found deeply puzzling and/or

incomprehensible? And which you also think is somehow a function

of that person's gender (not just the specific individual

involved)?  If so, think about what happened, and the behaviors,

cognitions, motivations, or emotions of the opposite sex that you

found particularly puzzling.

 

 

 

#1 I dont understand why guys are so competitive and have a need

to show off.  It is a turn off when two guys are trying to prove

who is bigger, or stronger, or better at something.  I also dont

understand why males are so consumed by sex.  I feel that if I

can control my hormones with ease, why do they insist on not

controlling their hormones, or why is it so difficult for them to

control themselves?         

 

#1 It is a very cliche scene; a

women walks by a group of men. It doesn't seem to matter what the

women is wearing, it could be a mini skirt it could be a business

suite and the men start whistling and making sexually suggestive

comments towards her. The woman for her part was minding her own

business, was not being sexually provocative, and was not

inviting the attention. I have seen this on TV it happens to my

friend and myself, and I know that this is not something that

women feel the urge to do, and it has always confused me why men

will do this.

 

#1.  A situation occurred with the opposite sex were everything

was bothering him and he would get mad very easily but when I

tried talking to him, he would tell me nothing was the matter.

He dismissed anything I said and would only get madder.  I knew

that if he only talked about it he would feel better but he

preferred to bottle it up inside which made everyone around him

feel worse.  He was sad about something that happened to him but

his emotions showed something totally different.  Instead of

opening up he closed himself off through his actions.  His

emotions and behavior puzzled me a great deal.  His solution was

to ignore himself and his feelings through his anger and

dismissal of feelings.

 

#1  Yes, there have been multiple situations in which an

encounter with a person of the opposite sex has been puzzling at

the very least.  Most of these situations happened when I was in

high school and middle school.  I had some guy friends who I

could never understand.

 Sometimes the way they behaved was so strange; always trying to

act tougher than they were, and always acting younger than their

age.  One particular guy seemed always nervous when he talked to

me.  I found out later that he actually was attracted to me, but

I couldn't figure out why he couldn't act like a normal person in

front of me.  It might have been only him, but I found that a lot

of guys seem tense when talking to someone of the opposite sex

whom they are attracted to.  There are just too many things about

the opposite sex that I just don't understand.

 I think a lot of their characteristics have to do with the way

our society has constructed certain rules for them.  There is

this "box" that all males have to fit into, and if they don't,

they are seen as unmanly, or weak. In order to avoid the risk of

being shut out by other males, they act in certain ways that may

be different from what they really think.  Maybe this is why they

act so strange sometimes. Something that has always puzzled me is

how they deal with anger and frustration.

 Instead of talking about it or having an emotional break down

like most women do, they go out and either drink or commit some

violent act.

 

#1. A friend was going through some really tough times and was

seeking comfort in her friends. A guy in our group was very

insensitive to what was going on. I think it was because he was a

guy that he did not understand how to be sympathetic. I do not

understand why guys are not in tune with their feeling, or why

they try so hard to hide their feelings.

 

#1      A situation occurred where a male friend asked me to

leave his room after we had been "play fighting" and making fun

of one another.  He is usually a friend who I can joke around

with excessively and not get bothered, but in this particular

instant he seemed very cold and simply asked myself and another

male friend to leave his room.  I think this was his way of

letting us know that his feelings were hurt without saying that.

 

#1. I have had multiple interactions with different males in

which they have justified wearing the same clothes multiple days

before washing them.  My main concern is with socks and

underwear. I can accept wearing jeans, sweatshirts, pajamas, and

even t-shirts more than one time before washing them, but it is

just uncleanly to wear socks or underwear for more than one day.

I have heard that boxers that have my lying on the floor for a

couple of days are actually self-cleaning, that they can be worn

inside out, and that as long as it isn't for two consecutive

days, they can be worn two or even three times in one week. How

is it possible for an intelligent male to believe this is

healthy? Do they really think that they are clean?  I'm sorry,

but just because you didn't do anything particularly active and

did not stain your clothes, that isn't an excuse for not washing

your clothes or your body.

 

#1 A situation that occurred with someone of the opposite sex

that I found deeply puzzling and incomprehensible was at the

beginning of the semester when I got into a deep conversation

with one of my guy friends. My friend told me that he had never

met a smart girl, at that moment my jaw hit the floor. I said,

Well, what about your mother? and he just repeated himself, I

have never met a smart girl. He continued to tell me that he

never wants to see a women become president. I of course argued

until I was blue in the face, and it really didnt do any good. I

was curious, so I asked him if he thought men and women were

equal, he said, Yes, but I dont think they should be able to be

president or priests. That night I decided to ask other guys the

same question and they all agreed with my friend.  I can not

comprehend this type of thinking, it doesnt even make sense.  If

men and women are equal then why dont the men I asked  think

women should be president or priests? Many times when I ask this

question the males will tell me that women are too emotional to

be president and they shouldnt be able to be priests because

Jesus was a man and it just goes back to tradition. I personally

just think that men dont want to see women in a position of power

and it seems to me that many men think that women are not smart

enough, or strong enough to take on such positions.

 

#1  Once, I found pornographic magazine at my boyfriend's

apartment.  I tend to think that possession of this kind of

material is definitely specific to the male gender.  I know that

most of my male friends have at some time in their life viewed

pornography.  Their motivation must be sexual arousal, but aren't

there enough real life situations to stimulate men that way?

Especially if they are in an intimate relationship?  There are a

few things I don't understand.  First, I find it puzzling that

males feel the need to use porn.  Second, it seems that they will

usually try to keep porn hidden like it is something to be

ashamed of, but will still indulge in it anyway. They are very

aloof when they discuss porn with friends, like they're trying to

downplay it's subject matter. Then, when it is addressed in a

more serious setting, I believe they can understand how it must

make women feel. I tend to think that porn, besides obviously

objectifying women, gives men a false sense of what to expect of

women in a sexual relationship both in appearance and action.  I

believe that the negativity of portraying women merely as sexual

objects is a more important issue than being occasionally

sexually gratified by pornography.

 

#1  As far as interactions with the opposite sex a situation that

occurs to me was when a boy expressed interest in me, had let it

be known that he liked me, but then never pursued anything

further. He had told people that he liked me but never bothered

to even initiate anything between us.  I didnt understand why he

didnt want to start dating. It just seemed really confusing to

me.

 

#1   I don't understand guys when they are upset.  They act so

differently than girls do.When I'm upset, all I want to do is

talk about my problems with my friends.  But guys want to be left

alone.  But, miraculously they're over it after that time alone.

I have found that guys either clam up and refuse to talk about

their problems or they blow up for a brief period of time and

then they are fine.  Despite this, the guys in my life have

always been very good

listeners.  If I need to talk, they are there.  I don't

understand why they don't need to talk to me when they are upset.

Because of this, I have learned that when any of my male friends

are upset, to just give them time and if they need to talk, they

will when they are ready.  #1. Two of my friends once told me

that their ideal partner would be a woman who was intelligent,

with aspirations of a career and also a family life. She would

have to most of all carry herself with confidence and self-

respect.  However, when I observe them approaching women, they

approach women who have the worst reputation of being promiscuous

and some don't attend school.  I'm always confused by what they

say and what they do, because they always contradict each other.

They know what type of life they want with their partner, yet

never bother to follow what they say. Unfortunately, I think most

men are like my friends. They never look twice at the type of

woman they talk about, and always approach the women they talk

badly about and say they are disgusted by their sexual behavior.

 

#1 Yes, I have had a situation where I find the opposite sex

(males) to be puzzling and incomprehensible. I feel as though I

don't understand him his motives. I was talking to this guy off

and on since the beginning of my freshman year in college. I

thought we hit it off. When we first talked he seemed very

interested. He walked me home and I was under the impression that

this would progress into something more. The next day, it seemed

as though he didn't know who I was. Then our summer vacation came

and then school started again. We then began a long on-going

process of talking and not talking. It is now my fourth year in

college and I finally decided to tell him that I had a crush on

him, more so for my own sake because I was tired of playing his

stupid yo-yo game of showing interest one moment and the next

acting like he didn't know who I was. After I told him he acted

like nothing happened but is now jealous because I don't give him

attention anymore. I don't UNDERSTAND MEN!

 

#1.     What is most puzzling to me about males are their

terrible listening skills.  I can try to talk to my boyfriend

about issues that I take very seriously, perhaps I try to talk to

him about conflicts with my girlfriends, and he is not capable of

honestly listening and responding to what I say.  I realize that

the issues aren't terribly significant in his life, but I can

always count on my female friends to be good listeners and give

me advice.  My boyfriend usually responds with a comment like,

"Oh really, that's unfortunatewhat do you want to eat?"  - What!

        The only explanation I can think of is perhaps this is a

result of social roles and expectations.  Women are expected to

play the emotional role of caregiver, whereas men are expected to

provide a more physical protection oppose to emotional.

 

 

#1.  My feelings about this are that guys assume too much when in

a relationship.  In my past experience, guys either assume either

what they would like to be true or what they are afraid is true.

To be more specific, usually guys assume that girls want to do

more sexually than they let on, so they try and try to get their

way until either the girl finally gives in or they both get

frustrated about the whole situation.  Guys should

 

just try to go with the flow of things and if the girl wants

more, she will usually let them know. Another situation might be

if the guy fears a girl might cheat on him, he might be more

inclined to think it because its his worst fear, even if its not

true.

 

#1.   I suppose the most puzzling behavior that I find males do

is when they physically feel the need to beat up another male to

prove a point.  I once saw two males who were friends get into a

very severe fist fight one evening over something that I

considered to be fairly unimportant, certainly not important

enough to warrant a physical brawl.  From my understanding, males

resort to fighting in order to prove a point and to try to prove

his superiority.

 Still, I don't understand how friends could physically beat one

another up severely in order to prove a relatively insignificant

point.

 

#1      It puzzled me when my after my boyfriend of two years and

I broke up, then a week later he is already dating someone else.

It bothered me that he didn't seem as upset as I was about

breaking up. I think if you've been together so long, wouldn't

there be a grieving period? I asked him about this. He explained

it by saying that he was still upset, but I guess this is just

his way of dealing with it. Like dating other people is a way of

not thinking about the break up or about his feelings.          I

think this is a function of his gender, not just him specifically

because I know other guys who do the same thing. They move on

quickly. Maybe it's just their way of hiding their feelings from

their friends. But girls do not usually do that. I don't like how

to be a masculine guy, guys must hide their feelings for girls

they truly care about.

 

#1      After a night of drinking and hooking up with a guy you

aren't particularly interested in as boyfriend material, guys

will almost always act differently, as if to stifle any immediate

plans or expectations you had for a relationship between the two

of you.  This however is quite peculiar.  Can't a gal just have a

good time?

 

#1.  I have a lot of guy friends.  One thing that I have learned

is that

 

although it is possible for a girl to be "just friends" with a

guy, it is almost decidedly impossible for a guy to be "just

friends" with a girl.

 From the time I was one year old, I have been friends with this

boy.  He and I practically shared the same womb.  Over the years,

I came to call him my god brother.  Our parents have always been

the best of friends and he is the

 

closest thing to a brother that I have ever had.  Our family

comes together

 

at least once a year.  One year after spending a week or so

together, it was time for the normal goodbyes.  I had gone to the

bathroom.  When I exited the bathroom, he cornered me to "say

goodbye."  I held out my hands to give him a hug and he leaned in

and slipped me the tongue.  I was completely discussed.

 

Latter I heard form another source that he had said that if he

would have

 

stayed for another day or so that, "we definitely would have

hooked up."

 I couldn't believe it.  The only explanation I could think of

was that he was a guy.  They always have sex on the brain and can

never truly draw the line

 

between friendship and something else.

 

#1. There is one situation that I still to this day cannot

understand about one of my best guy friends.  My friend has a

huge crush on my best friend.  He talks about how he wants to

marry her and how she is perfect.  They have never gone out and

never will go out, yet my guy friend continues to profess his

love for her.  He even went as far as cussing out her boyfriend

and he said, "Stay away from _____, she is mine and I will always

be in her life".  I just do not understand how he can be this

obsessed with her and why he continues to make a fool out of

himself over it.  He is a great guy but this side of him freaks

me out.   I think that he is being a typical guy over this and

was trying to show his masculinity and that is why he cussed out

her boyfriend and threatened to beat him up. Also, he is being

very possessive of her, which I think is a how most guys get with

girls that they really like.

 

#1. One of the many situations that I found puzzling about men

was with my ex boyfriend. I am the type of woman who takes pride

in doing things on my own. I feel a sense of accomplishment in

doing things myself instead of having others do something that I

am well capable in doing for myself. My sense of independence was

a problem with my ex boyfriend and I have never understood his

reasoning behind this.  He said to me, "you never ask me for help

and it makes me feel bad". I told him, "What's the big deal? You

should feel good in knowing that I can take care of myself."  He

continued to explain to me that it made him feel like "less of a

man" not being able to do more things for me. I guess men have

this constant urge to prove their "manly-ness" and once that

feels threatened they freak out.

 

#1      Something I find deeply puzzling about the opposite sex

is there ability to not become emotionally involved with someone

even though they have are sexually involved with them.  For

example, when I first began dating a boyfriend I had a few years

ago, he later told me he had engaged in sexual acts with two

different girls.  He had said it occurred in the beginning when

him and I were not officially together, but I was still shocked

that he had no problem hooking up with these girls even though it

was clear that he and I had something going.          Secondly, I

really do not understand how every male assumes that every woman

is dying for commitment.  Please, women want to have as much no-

strings-attached fun as men do.  But because men assume this

every time they engage in any type of sexual act with a women

they feel the need to try extra hard to be distant and unfriendly

because they are convinced that they need to make it clear that

they do not want a relationship.  Saying hi to me in passing

doesn't automatically make me believe you think we are destined

to be together.

 

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QUESTION #2.  In general, what do you like about the opposite

sex?  What do you dislike?

 

 

#2  In general I like the fact that males can get ready in 10

minutes or less and look good.  Their low maintenance is

appealingprobably because it is a nice change from womens usual

high maintenance. I also like the fact that males have very

little drama in their lives; mainly because they deal with their

problems differently, and usually quicker, than females do.

        One of the things that I dislike about males is the fact

that everything is about sex.  Girls will always feel insecure if

a guy looks at porn mags, or a hot chick walking by because she

feels as if she is not pretty enough to get the guy, or keep the

guy.

 What I also dislike is that they have a very hard time

expressing their feelings. Although I realize this is due to

societys expectations on males to be tough and manly, but their

lack of emotion makes a girl insecure about a guys true feelings.

Girls need to be told that you love them, we cant assume it.

 

#2 likes:  They are not as petty They are more laid back, and do

not let small problems bother them They are confident They can

protect girls from other men They offer a different perspective

than what women are used to They are independent Dislikes They

are unresponsive to emotional situations They dont put as much

effort into grooming/ cleaning.  They tend to have more shallow

relationships with other men.  They feel the need to prove their

heterosexuality.  They are commitment phobic. #2.   In general I

like the fact that men forget easily.  They do not hold grudges

for a long time.  They deal with an issue head on, usually not

letting emotions get in the way.  If their friends did something

to upset them, they confront them right away and either talk it

over or fight but it is resolved quickly.  The next day they are

playing football together and the subject is never brought up

again.  Our sex holds grudges for an extremely long time.  We

loose friendships over this.  Usually instead of confronting the

person we bottle it up inside and sometimes even pretend to like

a person while we gossip behind their back. What I dislike about

men is that they have two different faces.  When they are with a

group of men they act quite different than when they are with the

opposite sex.  They are obnoxious and their IQ drops when they

are with the boys.  Yet when they are with a girl they act

sensitive, open, and responsive.  If they are with the guys it is

as if you never existed let alone ever had a deep conversation

with them.

 

#2  Some of the qualities that I like about the opposite sex is

that they are mostly out-going and very simple.  They tend to be

lower-maintenance and have an uncomplicated way of looking at the

world.  They also can make friends a lot easier than women, just

by simple things like common interests.  They also seem to carry

themselves in a more confident manner, and don't really care as

much what people think of them.  Things that I dislike about the

opposite sex are that they are very egotistical and arrogant.

They are unemotional, sometimes oblivious to people's needs, and

not very good listeners.  They just can't seem to get to the same

level as women can.  They never seem to truly understand how we

feel.  I don't know if its because they don't want to even try or

if its just physically impossible. They also have a problem with

cleanliness and orderliness.  Most guys wouldn't subject

themselves to having to clean something.  They are messy and

don't care about keeping things sanitary.

 

#2. The way in which they dont make things so complicated. Males

dont make a big deal about little things like females tend to do.

I think that it is also easier to talk to males about some issues

because they have a different perspective on things. The way

males try to hide their feelings is a dislike. I dont understand

why they just dont let it all out, but instead put on this macho

demeanor.

 

#2.     In general, I like the fact that males usually appear to

be self-confident and good at decision making.  Regardless or

whether or not they truly are self-confident they tend to try to

make the effort to not appear overly shy or timid.  I also like

the fact that males tend to be more independent than females in

the sense that they seem less apprehensive to do things alone or

without a group of friends.  Chivalry shown towards females is

also something that I generally like about males.

        However, I can say that some things I dislike about males

is that they tend to not be as good at listening to problems

because it seems that their immediate reaction is to find a

solution to the problem instead of listening to how the situation

makes me feel.  At times I feel that males take on a superior and

cocky attitude and that is something that I also dislike.

 

#2. I like that a lot of times males are easier going. It sounds

derogatory to say that they are "simple" because it implies that

they aren't very intelligent, but not everything has to be broken

down and analyzed with a male. The best way I can explain it is

that being in a relationship with a female feels like playing a

game of chess; you always have to be on your toes ready in case

she reacts badly to something you say. It's easier to hurt a

female's feelings and much harder to get out of trouble with her

once you have. Guys don't get worked up over as many things and

won't react as harshly if they are offended.  However, males are

not as good of listeners as females are. A male is much more

interested in the point of a story than the details of the story

itself.  When talking to a male I am much more likely to wonder

whether or not he is even listening to me at all than I am when I

am with a female. Sometimes a female will get so involved in

telling a story that she won't even get to the end; males only

seem to tell the end.

 

#2 The things I like about the opposite sex are the way that they

protect women and make them feels safe. I personally feel much

more comfortable and safe if a guy is around. I like their

bravery and how they for the most part arent afraid of

confrontations. I like how guys are more straight forward when it

comes to  making decisions and for the most part guys know what

they want. Some of the things that I dont like about the opposite

sex is how aggressive they can become. I dont like how they

womanize and I dont like how they want to be with many different

women instead of just one. I dont like how men objectify women

and think that they can control them. I dont like how they think

they can touch you or slap you on the butt just because you are a

girl and they are a guy. I dont like how dirty and unorganized

guys can be, and I dont like how they seem to put sports and food

before anything else.

 

#2  Here are some things I like about males.  I like that when

I'm with a male, I feel safer than if I were by myself.  Most

importantly, I am less vulnerable to being attacked.  Also, if I

am not interested in meeting other males with romantic pursuits,

it is less likely I will be approached by another male while I'm

with a man already.  I am envious of a male body's potential to

be physically strong.  I appreciate their assertive nature.  I

would like to possess the male ability to think very

analytically.  I am jealous that they need to do minimal grooming

to be attractive. I think men need to feel a sense of

superiority, so they usually respond to challenges with extreme

competitiveness or defensiveness.  I don't like this male

attribute because sometimes their attitude gets in the way.  This

also makes men less able to accept criticism (especially from

women).  Men are expected to be tough, so they show anger easily,

but are very unwilling to show sadness as it may be seen as a

sign of weakness.  I would like them to be more honest/open with

their feelings.  I wish men were more thoughtful and would give

others more consideration.  I believe they try to be emotionally

unaffected by situations that may actually bother them, so they

expect the same attitude from others even though some actions may

hurt others feelings.

 

#2  I like how guys can be easier to make friends with then

girls. Sometimes it seems easier to get to know a guy then it is

to get to know a girl.  Guys also care less about material things

than girls do. They are less concerned with their looks and

sometimes deal with tough situations better, not getting as

emotional as women do. I dislike how guys tend to not listen as

well as girls when you need to talk to them about something. They

offer solutions instead of just listening whereas girls will

listen forever to you talk about whatever you need to talk about.

Also how guys feel the need to compete with other guys when it

comes to cars and electronic stuff.

 

#2  I like how safe I feel around my guy friends.  I like that

they can get over things quickly.  I wish I were able to not hold

grudges or over think things so much like guys do.  I don't like

the way that guys act differently around their guy friends than

they do around their female friends.  Guys need to understand

 

that it's okay to have emotions.  #2 What I like most about most

men is their aggressiveness. I like the way they walk around

confident, as if letting everyone know how strong they are

through their appearance. They let every other guy know with a

look that they will not hesitate to protect their partner if need

be. They are always looking around making sure the area is safe,

and they are safe in the environment.

      What I dislike about men is their insensitivity. They tend

to take the aggressiveness to far and forget that they must show

their feelings in order for their partner to know how they feel

about them. They always assume the partner knows how they feel,

when in reality, the partner always needs to be re-assured of

their emotions.

 

#2 What I like about men is the fact that they are rational when

it comes to making decisions. They make everything seem so clear.

They also have a tendency not to hold grudges with their friends

and they are also very loyal to them. I also like the fact that

when I am around a man, he make me feel secure and protected from

threatening people and things. They also do not have a tendency

to gossip as much as women do.

 

What I dislike about men is that they are so inconsistent. They

act different when you are alone with them then when they are

with their friends. They are also very immature and dirty. They

feel the need as though they have to prove themselves so they are

overly confident and cocky. They feel that they have to prove

their masculinity. They never want to talk about their feelings.

Lastly, I dislike it when they feel as they are superior

intellectual beings.

 

#2.     I often enjoy how men can be simpler than women,

especially in social situations. Men are less likely to judge

others and seem to make friends much easier.

 Women can be very catty and shallow when evaluating others.

        What I dislike about men most is inconsistency in their

actions.  Although I know my boyfriends loves me, why is it that

I am more sure at times than others?

 

#2.  My feelings about this are that I like when guys show

chivalry on dates, such as opening doors.  I also like the

general sense of protection guys seem to have when youre around

them.  I sometimes like asking guys for advice or for their

opinion on a topic or situation because they can give a different

perspective than your girlfriends

 

can.  I dislike how they act differently around their friends, as

suppose to how they act when you are alone with them.  I also

dislike the quality of their listening ability and their lack of

tidiness.

 

#2.  In general, I like the following about males:          Sense

of protection         They do not gossip like women         They

appear to be more laid back at times         They give advice

from a less emotional perspective         They offer different

perspectives in general

  In general, I dislike the following about males:          Poor

hygiene         Commitment phobic         Uncomfortable

discussing feelings         Appear to be insensitive at times

when sensitivity is very important         Ignoring other people

during sporting games         Lack of maturity

 

#2      I like how guys are more easy-going and laid back than

girls are. They don't have as much unnecessary drama with their

friends, they gossip less, and they get along easier with almost

anyone. I also like how they are more decisive.          I

dislike how guys act towards their girlfriends, or girls they

care about.  This is probably not a problem for older, more

mature men. But many guys have trouble showing their feelings and

act very aloof, giving their girlfriends the wrong impression.

Also, it's hard for guys to talk about their feelings.  I also

think it's wrong when guys always put their friends before their

girlfriends.

 

#2      I like chivalry: paying for things, opening doors,

guiding you to the table by touching the small of your back,

pulling out chairs....If I can't get the actual act, at least he

should offer.  I also enjoy feeling protected or secure with a

bigger guy, which is probably rooted in Freudian theory.

 Conversely, a guy who demonstrates characteristics of femininity

that go beyond appropriate for either sex becomes unattractive,

if he's heterosexual.

 I also dislike the lack of hygiene, sensitivity, and perspective

that is so prominent within the male species.

 

#2.  In general I like and dislike a lot about the opposite sex.

Although I do think that most characteristic are individualistic,

there are a few that do encompass most males.  I like that men

are protective.  They can make a woman feel safe.  I like that

they are less petty than females and more

 

straightforward.  I like that they are leaders and good at making

quick

 

decisions.  Males are better at keeping things in perspective.

They are

 

expected to maintain a level of respect towards females i.e.

opening door and paying for things.  They are expected to take

care of their families and be more independent. They are good

drivers.  I dislike that men tend to be

 

temperamental and volatile.  I dislike that they are insecure yet

unwilling

 

to admit to these insecurities.  At age 5 boys cry just as much

as girls.

 

Holding in their emotions is something they are taught to do.  It

is socially

 

unacceptable for a man to be overly emotional.  I dislike that

they have two personalities; one around women and another around

men.  Commitment is a far stretch.  At younger ages they have

only shallow relationships with both men and women.  They mature

slower than females.  They watch porn and go to strip clubs.  In

general they have a lack of respect towards women.  Women are

 

objects.  Outward appearances are very important.  Egos are huge.

They can't do two things at once.  If a guy hooks up with a

hundred girls, he's a pimp; if a girl hooks up with a hundred

guys, she's a slut.  They are dirty, i.e. fart, burp, don't wash

their hands, play with themselves.

 

#2. Personally I like the comfort that I get when I am with guys.

Don't get me wrong I am in no way dependent on guys, however,

there is a comfort that I feel when I am with them.  I also

really like how there is generally less drama with guys, they do

not take things as personally and they are easier going about

things.  However, I really don't like when guys try and be macho.

I cannot stand when guys get into fight especially when it is

about something stupid.  Who are they trying to prove something

too?

 

 

#2. In general, the things that I like about men are: When I am

around males I feel a greater sense of protection. Another thing

that I like about men is how "simple minded" they are. It seems

that their thinking would make life so much easier, but I guess,

where's the fun in that? In general, the things that I dislike

about men are: They have no sense of hygiene. Come on guys, it's

a little gross. I especially don't like when a male acts or truly

believes that he is superior to women.

 

#2      In general, I like the opposite sex mainly because they

throw a different light onto a topic.  I can pretty much predict

what most of my girlfriends will say about an issue or what type

of advice they will give.  However, a male friend of mine can

often jolt me into coming up with a decision about something

because they make me think about it in a very different way.

Also, they are not afraid to use their sense of humor to get

attention from women, I hate how women are constantly worried

about appearing goofy just because they can laugh and have a good

time.  Often men do not hold themselves back as much when it

comes to being humorous at parties or in other environments,

which is refreshing.          I dislike the opposite sex because

they feel they need to constantly prove their masculinity by

calling other men homosexuals.  I hate how a lot of men have no

problem objectifying women.  I know women do it to men as well,

but it is a lot more acceptable for men to do it.  Some men also

have no real care for personal hygiene, I'm not saying I want a

clean shaven man who gets a manicure every week, just someone who

showers regularly, does his laundry, and cuts his nails.

 

 

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QUESTIION #3. What is the one thing that the opposite sex most

misunderstands about your own sex?

 

 

#3 I think the one thing that males do not understand about

females is that females take the little things very seriously.

If you dont call when she is hoping that you will call, that will

upset her. Or, if you bring her a thoughtful surprise, that will

make her feel that she is important to you and she will be happy.

The problem is, we do not voice these desires. For some reason we

hope that the male will just know what we want, when really there

is NO way for him to know.  Another thing boys misunderstand is

that girls are very insecureeven the confident-seeming onesand

therefore need constant reassurance that they are important to

the male.  Males need to understand that if a girl feels

underappreciated, then she is, whether or not that is the case.

 

#3      I think that men misunderstand about women is their

desire for an emotional connection to other people. And also how

women communicated what they want to men.

 

#3.  The opposite sex thinks that we are sensitive and very

emotional and we are but not to the extent that they make us out

to be.  They misjudge our strength.  We can make decisions that

do not let emotions get in the way.  The opposite sex does not

seem to think so.  Since the beginning of time we have tried to

get some authoritarian positions but men do not look beyond the

stereotype that women are too emotional.  This is a great

misunderstanding that does not allow us to show how strong we can

be. We do not always let emotions get in the way.  Sometimes men

act on instinct but they are not judged for it, rather they were

born leaders.  But if a woman was acting on instinct they would

be acting irrational and on emotions.

 This is a double standard that men need to look beyond.  We can

make rational decisions as good as any other person.

 

#3  I would have to say men most misunderstand how a woman wants

to be treated.  Sometimes they try too hard, other times not

enough.  I suppose it can be confusing at times, but if men

really took the time to listen to women and try to understand

where they are coming from, it wouldn't be such a daunting task

for them.  Men also tend to misunderstand why women act in

certain ways.  For example, a woman may just want a man to listen

to her problems and be there for her, she may not want him to

find a solution for them, at least right away.  Men always seem

to want quick and easy answers to everything.  However, it isn't

always for the best.

 

#3. How important the little things are for females. For example,

a guy doesnt understand how important remembering a birthday,

anniversary, or another important date is for females

 

#3.     One thing that I feel that the opposite sex

misunderstands about females is in regards to emotions.  I feel

that males often misinterpret the feelings, ideas, concerns, and

comments of females as being overly emotional.

 

#3. I think that the one thing males most misunderstand about

women is why certain things are so important to us. You know that

forgetting our birthday doesn't mean you don't love us, but it

hurts us when you can't remember details about us. We think that

if we are in a relationship with you, the things that are

important to us should be important to you.

 

#3 I think that one of the things the opposite sex misunderstands

about my own sex is what we want in relationships and how we

expect them to treat us if we are in a relationship. Or just how

we want to be treated regardless of the status of the

relationship.

 

#3  I think what men most misunderstand about women is what will

really make them happy in a relationship.  I believe that men

think they are supposed to make the money to support and spoil

their women.  Although money is a nice bonus, it is not what is

important in a relationship.  Men also think if they try to do

what their women tell them to do it will make the women happy.  I

believe that basically, women want to be treated equally.  They

want to be respected.  They want a man who will really listen to

them, who is thoughtful, is able to work through difficult

situations with them, is able to express himself to her, is

supportive, and shares interests.

 

#3 Guys a lot of times seem to not understand why we are mad

about certain things. They think that we are just randomly mad

for no reason, when really we have a good reason to be mad. Guys

just dont understand our emotions a lot of times.

 

#3  They don't understand our girl moments, you know, when we

just need to cry.  Sometimes we are just upset and we don't even

know why.  It's so simple, all they need to do is hug us but they

take it as a personal affront to them.

 Guys need to understand that girls have so much emotion coursing

through our bodies that we sometimes have a spur of the moment

catharsis, and that it is normal and okay.  #3 Men don't

understand a women's sensitivity towards their surroundings.

Women seem to be more attached to their family, friends, co-

workers, etc., and they show their affection to them. Men always

think women are over-reacting by being "too emotionally

involved", when in reality it's the men's insensitivity that

blocks him showing any type of emotions to those other than what

he considers to be the closest people to him.

 

#3 n/a

 

#3.     What is most misunderstood about women is that we will

retract our feelings for a guy if he shows us how much he really

cares too early in the relationship.

 Of course, I would be freaked out if a guy were to tell me he

loved me after a week of dating, but I want to feel confident

that he takes me seriously.

 

#3.  My feelings about this are that guys most misunderstand our

emotions all together. They dont seem to understand how much we

take things to heart and how much even the slightest little thing

might affect us.  Women are naturally more sensitive than men

are, so obviously we have more emotional needs, and they dont

always seem to

 

understand that.

 

#3.  I feel that the one thing that males misunderstand about

females is that we are not necessarily overly emotional.  I think

that sometimes males misinterpret signs of emotion as females

dramatizing situations; sometimes, it is more of a matter of a

female dealing with her emotions and not suppressing them.

 

#3      Guys misunderstand girls

 

 

#3      I would have to say EVERYTHING.  When a women is in a

relationship she is demonstrably vulnerable and if men were

perceptive, they would sense that.  This vulnerability causes

great insecurity, possibly more so than when alone.  It would be

beneficial for men to pick out instances of possible insecurity

for women, such as bringing her to meet his friends or seeing a

movie with a close girlfriend of his (without his current

girlfriend), and articulating his understanding of the

insecurities as well as ameliorating such insecurities by showing

more affection and clarifying any misconceptions she may have.

 

#3.  Men don't understand that women are more emotional.

Sometimes we just want to cry.  We are sensitive and our feelings

can be hurt easily.

 

#3.  The most misunderstood thing about females is guys think

that they are all drama queens.  I think that girls do have a lot

of drama but I for one can tell you that I hate drama and will do

almost anything to avoid it.  Drama does not solve anything.

 

 

#3. Almost every man that I know do not understand or

underestimate the bond and the strength that two (or more) women

can have with each other. Two female friends can know each other

like the back of their hands. We talk to each other about

anything and everything. We know what kind of mood the other is

in. Sometimes we can even read what the other is thinking. Female

friendships are awesome and I truly believe that men are missing

out.

 

#3      The one thing that men misunderstand the most about women

is, as I mentioned before, their inability to realize women just

want to have fun too.  At this point in my life I have no desire

to really settle down, no, I do not wildly sleep around but let

me experiment without being called a slut or feeling like an

outcast because I don't have a boyfriend.  Men need to really

think about the double standard, and not assume a girl is a

self-loathing insecure mess just because she happens to enjoy the

attention of men just as much as men enjoy the attention of

women.

 

 

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QUESTION #4. Think about a time when you found yourself

particularly attracted to someone of the opposite sex.   What

characteristics of that person do you think attracted you?   What

was the most important factor that attracted you to this person,

e.g., physical appearance, personality traits, self-confidence,

social status, friendly gestures toward you, etc.?

 

 

#4 Attraction for me is based on looks and personality together.

There is a certain look I go for when I observe people, and I am

usually attracted to people who look interesting to me.  By

interesting I mean someone who dresses unlike the rest of

society. Someone who stands out in a unique way. Someone who

looks like theyve led an interesting life up until now.  I become

attracted to men based on their eyes, their smile, and their

personality.

 If a good looking guy does something cocky, or is rude, or

doesnt have a good personality, I find it a complete turn off,

and I feel that a mean guy will become ugly to me, even if he has

the looks. Contrastingly, I become more attracted to an

individual if he takes an interest in me, or is friendly towards

me; but that is usually combined with the fact that I am

initially attracted to the individual. You cant force yourself to

love someone just because he loves you.                Thinking

back on someone that I have recently found attractive, I remember

being very attracted to the way he carried himself.  He was very

confident and had a very stable personality. I was attracted to

his decisiveness and the way he seemed to know what he wanted

from life.  I also became more attracted to him the more I

observed his interactions with other people; i.e., very polite,

well-mannered, gentlemanly.  Initially I am attracted to people

who have nice eyes (as well as good eye contact), and a nice

smile. Sense of humor is very attractive as well.  The most

important factor, however, would have to be the way he treated

me.

 If I am attracted to someone and he is friendly, and acts

interested in me, then I am more attracted to the person.

 

#4 The characteristics that I was attracted to was the fact that

he was confident; he walked with a sense of purpose,  seemed very

low key. The physical traits that I was attracted to included the

fact that he had purple hair, they were taller then I was, and he

has a great smile. I think that the most important factor that

attracted me to the person though was that he acted really

friendly towards me.

 

#4.  The characteristics that attracted me to that person was

that he was very funny and very easy to get along with.  He was

very open and receptive.

 He was self-confident but not cocky.  He was also very tall

which I found attracting but his other physical features were not

attractive to me yet his personality won me over.  He was always

in a good mood and trying to make everyone laugh.  He was very

extroverted.  These are personality traits that I do not have and

I am attracted to.  I am very quiet and shy so I like dating guys

that will bring out a different side in me.  I believe that the

most important factor that attracted me to this person were his

personality traits, traits that I did not have.

 

#4  The characteristics that attracted me to this person was

their looks, friendly gestures, and his personality.  His

personality by far was the thing I was attracted to the most.  He

was very friendly and liked to joke around a lot.  He also seemed

to want to get to know me, and was always kind and sincere.  I

have to admit that his looks were what I was attracted to at

first, but then after I got to know him I liked him even more.

This isn't usually the case however. Another guy that I dated,

who wasn't as physically attractive, I grew to like more because

of who he was.  So in other words personality is the determining

factor when it comes to who I am attracted to.

 

#4. Personality traits were the most important factor. They way

in which I could laugh and have fun with him. He had an awesome

personality and that is what attracted me to him. He was just so

laid back and fun that I felt attracted to him.

 

#4.     The characteristics that attracted me to this person were

his confident personality, his ability to make me laugh, his

established set of values and beliefs.  This person also had a

very strong and independent personality.

 During our interactions his playful attitude toward me was also

very attractive.

 I was also attracted to his physical body build (i.e. his facial

features - eyes and his strong body build).  The most important

factor that attracted me to him was definitely his confident and

independent personality.

 

#4. What first attracted me to my boyfriend was his sense of

assurance.  He was charming and if he was attracted to somebody

it only made him more confident around her instead of becoming

shy and nervous. He carried himself as if he knew he could be

with anyone in the room, so it made me feel special when he would

choose to talk or flirt with me. It's more flattering to be

attractive to someone who is confident about it.

 

#4  Characteristics that attract me to the opposite sex  are

honesty, loyalty, bravery, kindness, compassion, and

selflessness. Physically I like men with blonde hair and blue

eyes, physically in shape. When a guy is sweet and considerate

that attracts me most.

 

#4  Usually, initial attraction is physical, but physical

attraction is not enough to maintain a meaningful relationship.

I look for someone who is physically fit, mostly because I am an

active, athletic woman and would like to share time with a man

who enjoys participating in sports.  The most important qualities

I find attractive are personality traits like; honesty,

compassion, thoughtfulness, respectfulness, open communication.

 

#4 The characteristics that attracted me most to a person of the

opposite sex were their physical appearance of course. I thought

this boy was adorable.  But I thought he was cuter when I got to

know him better and realized what a great guy he was. He was so

kind and funny and sexy all at the same time.  He was such a

gentleman, always polite, very respectful of women, but also

interesting and exciting. A well-rounded person.

 

#4  When I first noticed this guy, he was telling a joke to some

people.

 It was the first day of high school and I was impressed by his

self-confidence.

 I heard him talking and I looked over and I thought he was so

cute.  He had blond hair and blue eyes and a smile to die for.

The most important thing was how nice he was to me and how he was

always waiting with open arms.  He was a great friend to me and

now we've been dating for three years.  #4 when I find myself

attracted to a person, first I look at the obvious, his

appearance. He has to have clean shoes. I have a shoe fetish, and

therefore I think the way a male cares for his shoes says a lot

about him. If he wears the same old pair of shoes everyday

without concern, than he does not care a lot about the way he

looks, when he should always look presentable.  If his shoes are

clean, then I can take the time to get to know him a little

better, which is when the most important part of him will shine

or disappoint me. His self-confidence has to be obvious, because

he must be bold enough to approach me, and he must seem honest

and sincere when he first speaks to me.

 

#4 Physical attractiveness is important to me but it definitely

is not the most important to me. It just has to be something

small that makes me attracted to him. For instance, I am big on

smiles and eyes. But I love it when they are confident it

themselves, beliefs, and values. I like it for them to have their

own opinion but at the same time be able to open to others

opinion.  Humor is something that I find very attractive in a

man. Laughter is the way to my heart. I also like the mysterious

type. I find it challenging when I have to "find out" what type

of man he is. Another thing that I find attractive is if he can

play an instrument, especially the guitar.  There is just

something about that that makes me melt. I am also attracted to

men that are well dressed or seem to have good hygiene.

Intelligence is also very important and the fact that they can

hold a conversation with me longer than half an hour.

 

#4.     Initially I am attracted to a guy's physical appearance

because that is really all I know, but this doesn't last long.

About five minutes after meeting them, their intellect is what I

find most appealing.  I want to know that the guy can keep up

with the conversation without explanations.  It is also important

to feel that you come from similar types of people and groups so

that the cultural gap between you is not too great.

 

#4.  My feelings about this are that physical attraction

definitely plays a part in the beginning, but there must be a lot

more beyond that for the person to continue

 

to be attractive.  I dont think there is just one characteristic

that is important, I think it is a combination of them that makes

someone appealing.  For me, personality plays a bigger role than

looks in being attracted to a guy.

 

#4.  Physical attraction first caught my eye.  While physicality

is not the most important part about another person, it is what

initially causes me to pay more attention to a person.  It is

important to me that a male is taller than me and at least my

age.  After that, I looked at his intelligence level, interests,

religious beliefs, work ethic, sense of humor, sensitivity, and

general attitude towards life and towards others.  The most

important characteristic in a male is how he treats the women in

his life.  If he treats them with respect, then chances are good

that he will treat me with respect as well.

 

#4      Characteristics that I look for in a guy are:

personality, confidence, goal-oriented, athletic, physical

appearance, intelligent, funny, and someone that I can hold a

good conversation with. Probably the most important of those

characteristics is personality.

 

#4      Appearances are always the first indicator as to whether

you like an individual or not.  Men who are older, more mature,

bigger in stature (in relation to myself), and who, by appearance

seem interesting, whether it be through unique clothing

selection, glasses, etc, are intriguing and set the spark.  After

the appearance has opened the door to initial attraction, the man

must sustain a certain level of intellect and conversation to

keep me interested.

 

#4.  Looks are the most important thing for first impressions,

after that

 

they really don't mean anything.  It is a nice perk if a guy is

good looking,

 

but if his personality is lacking then he will appear

unattractive.  Same

 

thing with a guy who is not that good looking.  If he has an

amazing personality, then he can seem very sexy.  The personality

traits that I most admire are an ability to make me laugh,

sensitivity, kindness, stability,

 

loyalty, and selflessness.

 

 

#4.  The last time I was attracted to a guy I noticed his

physical appearance first. However, I always get to know the

person first before I would ever consider dating them. The thing

that I found most attractive about the last guy was that he was

able to have very educated conversations and he was obviously

very intelligent.  It goes way past looks when you consider

dating someone because you actually have to talk to the person

and if they cannot carry a decent conversation then it is a major

turn off.

 

#4. One of the most important factors in my attraction in the

opposite sex is a sense of humor. He has to be able to make me

laugh and to keep up with my sense humor. Some of the other

traits that I find attractive in a male is his sense of himself.

I don't like guys who are too cocky or who have a low sense of

self-esteem. He has to be pretty affectionate, or have a sweet

disposition. [I feel like I am writing a personal ad] He has to

be respectful. He absolutely has to have a great sense of family

orientation.  He has to be able to keep up in a conversation, so

he has to have "smarts" too. (Now for the physical traits) I like

guys with a sweet smile, a nice toned body, and tall.

 

#4      One time when I was particular attracted to a man it

began with his unwavering stare.  He was not afraid to make eye

contact with me.  A stare, not spooky or strange, just an

interested and confidant exchange of looks.

 He also had beautiful strong hands with nice short nails.  I

know, it almost sounds like a fetish, but strong hands are a nice

thing.  Also, a mixture of self-confidence and relaxed vibe are

attractive.  Then beyond that an open mind and general liberal

attitude about politics and other matters appeals to me.

 

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QUESTION #5. In your opinion, what are the strengths and

weaknesses of the opposite sex?

 

#5  the strengths of the opposite sex include their protective

nature, which makes me feel safe in their company; their

decisiveness; the fact that they dont beat around the bush and

just say exactly what they mean; and the fact that they dont play

games.          The weaknesses for males are: that it is very

difficult for them to be sensitive and express their feelings.

They also have a quick temper, and their honesty can sometimes be

too brutal. They many times forget how affected girls are by

their words and actions.

 

 

#5 Strengths of the opposite sex include; there seems to be more

fidelity between males then females, I dont seem to remember too

many instances of men stabbing other men in the back. In a

literal sense they are more strong then females are. They also

seem to be more confident and self assured then women do and are

not so self conscience and care about what other people think

about them. I think that these attributes add to guys general

appearance that they are completely in control of themselves and

situations that they are in.  Weaknesses Lack of ability for

emotional outlet. The dont seem to have a large capacity for

empathy. I think that they are more aggressive then women. I

think that they tend to judge women negatively, i.e. they are too

fat or they are too old, and that they also tend to judge women

against qualities that are normal for a man to have. For example,

they will tend to look down on a women who talks too much because

me themselves do not talk a lot. #5.  The opposite sex lives in a

male dominated world and that is a strength specially if you are

male.  They have never struggled to prove themselves or to get

rights that are denied to them because of their sex.  This is a

strength that men have always had over men and an advantage as

well.

 Simply said, their strength is that they were born men.  We have

to struggle to reach equality and even then there are a lot of

obstacles standing in our way.  Another strength is that they

offer protection.  They are always trying to take care of you and

protect you.  This is nice but it can also turn into a weakness

because if they try to care for you too much, they dont feel you

have the capacity to do it yourself.  Some men think that they

are superior to women and that is why we need to be protected.

It is not to show affection and care but rather to show male

dominance.  If they are clear in their intentions then there is

no misunderstanding. A weakness of the opposite sex is that not

only do they feel superior but they are very insensitive to our

feelings.  They do not take us or our emotions into

consideration.  They dismiss everything as women being too

emotional, when in reality it is they who lack emotion.

 

#5  The strengths of the opposite sex would be their ability to

adapt to changes in the environment, and also the self-confidence

that they have in themselves.

 They don't care as much about what they look like or stress

about insignificant details in their lives.  They don't seem to

have as many problems as women do, either because they don't care

about as many things or it's in their nature to always be laid

back and in control.  They are more independent, and are more

likely to be leaders than followers. Some of their weaknesses are

that they can be very short-tempered and violent.

 They also tend to have bigger cleanliness problems and have a

harder time keeping things organized.  Guys will put up with

living in the dirtiest of conditions without thinking twice about

cleaning after themselves.  They also can act very immature and

unintelligent.  They commit more crimes and get into trouble more

often.

 

#5. Males appear to have much more confidence in themselves as

compared to females. The also have to deal with less drama than

females because they dont make such a big deal about issues. On

the other hand, they tend to bottle up their feelings. Males dont

express their feelings as much as females do and this makes it

harder for people to know what is going on or how they are

feeling.

 

#5.     Some of the strengths of the opposite sex are their

confidence, in which it appears that they have an easier time

adjusting to new situations, their assertive attitude in which

they attempt to go after those things that they want, and their

ability to simplify things and not make them into major ordeals.

        Some of the weaknesses of males are their egotistical

attitude, their insensitivity toward listening to the problems of

others and their stubborn attitude.

 

#5. I think the way males conduct their relationships with other

males can be considered a strength and a weakness. On one hand,

they don't hold grudges the way females do. Instead of cutting

off communication for days at a time the way a female would after

an argument with her friend, a male is more likely to express his

anger and resolve the issue within a day or two. Females,

instead, allow their anger to simmer and build into resentment,

so that once they finally confront the person with whom they are

upset, their anger is much more difficult to understand. Allowing

many small things to create one huge problem is what leads us to

perceive females as more complex than men.  However, males don't

seem to obtain the intimacy level in their relationships that

females do. A female will talk to her female friends about

absolutely everything that matters to her. It is because of this

willingness to communicate that females understand their friends

so well. Males don't find these conversations necessary so they

lose out on the intimacy they could experience. Without their

friends to confide in, males are forced to bottle up their

emotions because they don't feel comfortable talking about such

personal things even with their closest friends.

 

#5 Some of the strengths of the opposite sex are they are good in

sports especially when it comes to physical capabilities. Another

strength is that they are more straight forward and can take care

of their anger faster and let go of it faster than females.

 

#5  Male strengths include their ability to think logically and

make quick decisions.  They are assertive and don't beat around

the bush.  They are able to express what is on their mind (as

long as it doesn't make them seem weak or vulnerable).  Their

body has the potential to be very strong and have higher

endurance than a woman's body. Their weaknesses are evident in

their thoughtlessness.  They tend not to consider others

feelings.  Sometimes they are overly competitive.  They are not

good listeners.  Unless they are actually gay, they tend to be

homophobic.

 

#5 Guys strengths are their independence and their ability to

handle situations with less emotion so that they are more

rational. Guys weaknesses are that they tend to think with their

penises in situations when they should think with their brains.

 

#5  Men are very good at entering new social groups with ease.

They do not over analyze their friendships.  But this can also be

a downfall because this can lead to an abundance of shallow

friendships.  Guys are usually strong

 

physically, but need some fine tuning when it comes to dealing

with their

 

emotions.  Guys are very good at saying what they want very

concisely.

 Guys need to listen better and be more understanding.  The

greatest weakness of the male population is the penis.  Not only

is it physically vulnerable, it can get them into a whole lot of

trouble when trying to maintain a relationship with a girl.

 

#5 the strengths of a male are their protectiveness over women.

They make sure the woman is safe, even when they know they are

they always make sure.  They have a tendency to ask their

partner, if they feel fine, or if they need anything. Their

weaknesses is their lack of showing emotions. They can never tell

you how they feel, only if asked over and over again. It seems as

though they don't want to show that they can be weak, when not

being able to talk about their emotions is the weakness itself.

 

#5 I feel that the strengths in males are that they don't take

things personal and can be very rational when it comes to

decisions. Their weakness lies in the fact that they cannot

express their feelings freely and therefore women assume what

they are thinking and feeling

 

#5.     I believe that a male strength is their ability to not

sweat the small stuff.  Guys usually will not make a big issue

out of something trivial.  I think a male weakness is their

immaturity.  It is really unattractive when a guy is flipping-off

every car that cuts him off on the freeway!

 

#5.  My feelings are that mens strengths are to present their

masculinity which usually means hiding their emotions, and to

confront problems head on without a lot of drama.  I feel that

their weaknesses are not fully expressing their wants and needs

 

possibly out of fear, and not asking for help because they think

they should be able to do everything on their own.

 

#5. Strengths:          They are taken more seriously in

business.         They are physically stronger.          They

tend to stay more rational and less emotional in situations.

        They are more assertive in a public situation.

Weaknesses:          Their egos tend to get in the way.

        They are uncomfortable discussing feelings and are often

not able to be as         sympathetic as women.

 

#5      Strengths of males are their decisiveness, their carefree

approach to life, their confidence.          Weaknesses of males

are their hygiene, their communication skills.

 

#5      Physiologically the average male is stronger and can

produce more muscle mass as a result of high levels of

testosterone.  They gravely lack the intuitive knowledge that

women often demonstrate.  This is not to say that all men aren't

or lack the capabilities to be sensitive, but in reference to

women, chemically/innately, women are more capable.

 

#5.  See #2.

 

#5.  Strengths of the opposite sex are they do not have a lot of

drama and they are way easier going when it comes to minor

situations.  I think that a weakness is that guy's act

differently around girls then they do around guys.  I think it

goes along with the macho thing, which is also a weakness.

 

#5. A mans strengths most relies on how a man carries himself and

how he treats others. Their strengths are the "likes" that I had

mentioned in question #2. The weaknesses are: their sense of

sensitivity towards others, their inability to connect with

another like females do, and their belief of constantly having to

prove their manly-ness.

 

 

#5      The strengths of the opposite sex include their ability

to have a no bullshit type of attitude about things.  If they are

in a fight they will tell one another immediately what the main

issue is.  No tiptoeing around what really is bothering them.

They don't gossip among one another to the level women do and

they will not smile to your face then talk about you behind your

back.  Often if a man does not like another person, that person

is aware of it.  Also, the ability men have to come off as

confident, even if they are the most insecure person.

        Their weaknesses, include jealousy and the territorial

sense men have over their girlfriends/women in their lives.  I

also think that men are constantly dismissing women by saying,

"oh they are just girls, they never make sense" or "girls are

crazy".  It does not work like that, do not generalize, we are

all functioning people in society (at least I think) and make an

effort to understand my perspective because I make an effort to

understand yours, and will not dismiss a mans point of view

because of his gender.

 Perhaps that's a little specific, but just a peeve of mine.

Lack of communication is also a problem.  Also, the way men are

so concerned with their sexual performance, or lack of, every

woman is different, therefore it takes a different type of lover

for each.

 

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

QUESTION #6. Can you think of any instances in which  you have

personally been treated unfairly by the opposite sex?  If so,

give a brief description of what happened.

 

 

#6 I have felt as if I was treated unfairly many times by the

opposite sex. Many times it was due to feeling insecure about not

being pretty enough.  But one time I was visiting my grandpas

house when my cousin, a male my age, was also visiting.  I spent

a couple days hanging out with him and my sister until one day

another cousin, a male same age, came over to hang out as well.

When I tried to hang out with the two of them, the first cousin

got angry with me and wouldnt let me hang out with them while

they did guy stuff in the farm.  He said that since he had to

hang out with girls all week he didnt want me, being a girl,

hanging out with them.  I felt particularly offended at this, but

he couldnt figure out why I was so upset. He didnt realize it

made me feel like I wasnt fun to hang out with; but I didnt

realize that he just wanted some guy time.

 

#6 This incident occurred when I was about nine years old. My

brother had a friend named Chad and when he used to visit his

house he and Chad would always climb into Chads tree house and

leave me on the ground staring up at them. They never let me into

the tree house and tried to shove me down if I go close to the

top. When I asked why I was not allowed up in Chads tree house he

said because I was a girl and it was his tree house so girls were

not allowed. It was his tree house and I couldnt argue with his

logic so I never did get to climb that tree.

 

#6.  At  my previous employment all the guys went to eat together

and were always  talking about important information that I

always found out last about because nobody informed me.  The guys

at work always knew a lot more information and the boss was much

more friendly with them because they had spent time together.  It

was very unfair.  One day I decided to join them but they just

looked at me like I was insane and bluntly said that I should

hang out with the girl and do girl things  The guys had the upper

hand at work because of their relationship with the boss.

 

#6  I remember as a child, I used to play baseball with my

cousins and siblings.  I knew that they always gave me second

chances while playing just because I was a girl.

 Even though this seemed like an act of generosity, I hated it

because I wasn't being treated fairly at all.  I wanted to have

the same opportunity as everyone else.  I think most women feel

this way when a guy tries to help them out with something.  They

may think they are doing them a favor, but in reality they are

making things worse because women don't want to be viewed as

helpless or not as capable as men.

 

#6. It was a group of friends, both male and female, and we were

on our way to some amusement park. On our way there we got a flat

tire. It was my car so I was ready to fix the flat, but the guys

insisted that they would do it because girls dont know how to do

a mans job. I found it unfair that it was determined before hand

that I could not do it because I was a female. Males always think

that females can not do it because they are too weak.

 

#6.     n/a

 

#6. I can't think of any specific incidents in which I have been

treated unfairly by a male specifically because I am female.

 

#6 I was treated unfairly by the opposite sex when I was at a

dance club with my best friend. Out of no where two guys came up

to us and started to dance. Both of the guys grabbed my best

friend and I around the waist and started pushing us toward each

other, putting us in an inescapable sandwich.  We both tried with

all of our might to get away but the two guys wouldnt let us go.

I then turned around and pushed the six foot two inch tall guy as

hard as I could. He just started to chuckle grabbed my butt and

walked away. As he turned around I gave him the best shove I

could and he just looked at me and sneered. I dont know why guys

think that they can touch women whenever they want, Im sorry but

we are not a slab of meat, we are people too.

 

#6  At least on time that I can remember, I was overcharged at

the auto repair shop because I am a woman and the mechanic

assumed (correctly) that he could take advantage of my lack of

mechanical knowledge about my car.  He also assumed that I

wouldn't argue with him because women are generally more timid

and less confrontational than men.  I was suckered into paying

more for my car than I needed to.  For all I know, he probably

did more repair than was necessary too.  Or at least told me I

did whether he did the repair or not is still a mystery.

 

#6  There have been times when I have felt like a guy has thought

that I was intelligent or that my opinion isnt as important as

the guys opinions.

 

 

#6  I had a really good friend in high school, or so I thought.

I had known him since kindergarten.  Well, he told the entire

football team that I had performed oral sex on him.  The guys

would give me looks and make comments

 

and my reputation is very important to me so I felt so utterly

betrayed.

 

#6 once, my friend, who had gone out on a date, called me to tell

me that her date's car had stalled by the hill on Lincoln blvd.

By LMU drive. I arrived to help the guy jump start the car,

however, we did not have any cables, therefore an older woman

stopped and lent us her cables. However, the car would not start.

Therefore, another male stopped to help and he suggested he would

pull his car with the working car. They tried to fasten both cars

together, however could not get a strong enough hold. I suggested

that I could help, since my father had taught me how, and I also

had some safety precautions, so that both cars wouldn't bump into

each other or scratch either car. When I suggested my idea, both

instantly shut me up by telling me they knew what they were

doing. I was offended, however never said a word after that.

After two hours of trial and error, they decided to leave the car

there, because they could not pull it anywhere. Although, I could

have helped after they quit, I decided not to because they proved

to me they didn't think I was capable.

 

#6 In some of my courses that are not usually "women courses" the

males dominate the conversations in class. They are usually the

ones picked to talk even when I have my hand raised.

 

#6.     When I was a freshman in high school, my first boyfriend

dumped me for one of my friends.  I was so hurt and was gullible

enough to go back out with him after that.

 

#6.  An instance in which I was treated unfairly was when I

walked past a group of grown men who began whistling and shouting

cat calls, such as Hey sexy..

 

Having old men do that is so repelling and unattractive and

annoying. Do they actually think a woman finds that appealing?

 

#6.  I am sure that I have been treated unfairly by the opposite

sex, but I cannot think of an instance that was grossly unfair.

 

#6      Every year around the holidays my uncles and my male

cousins all play touch football. Some years I join in to play,

and even though they allow me to play, they practically never

throw to me or use me in any plays.  I think that's unfair since

I can probably play pretty well, I've just never gotten the

chance to even try.

 

#6      I have never been treated unfairly because of my gender.

 

#6.  If a girl is promiscuous, she is labeled as a slut.  A girl

can not be confident with her sexuality.  In general guys can get

away with a lot more than girls.  If a guy farts or burps, it's

funny. If a girl does the same, it is the most repulsive thing

ever.

 

#6.  I have always played sports and that has always been very

difficult because guys have always been very stereotypical.  They

always think that they are better and that girls can't play

sports.  I was playing basketball someone I met at the park and

they didn't know I played basketball for my school.  We decided

to play two on two and my little sister was on my team and we

played girls against boys.  We ended up beating them and they

were so embarrassed they left the park and they told us that they

let us win.  They even went as far as saying that one of them was

hurt.  Why couldn't they just face it?

 

#6. Yes, many times! Being the only girl of three older brothers,

I am a woman who is very much into cars and electronics. By

closely watching my brothers fool around with their cars and

things, I knew enough about cars and electronic equipment that I

put in my stereo system in my own car. It was the first time that

I tried to do something like this. I knew all the things that I

had to do, the wires that needed hooked up, and how to attach

them properly. I'm not by any means a "pro", but I knew mostly

what I was doing. I had to go to a stereo shop to get a kit to

start the process. I started asking questions to guy that was

helping me out at the store. I told him what I needed and what I

was doing. I told him that I was putting in a stereo and before I

could finish my sentence he blurted out, "your putting it in? By

yourself?" He had this little smirk that I wanted to slap off his

face. Just by his tone, I wanted to beat the crap out of him. He

made it sound as if he felt more superior because he was guy.

 

#6      At this point, I cannot think of a very specific

occurrence, people have become more aware and are conscious of it

now.  But minor day to day things are felt.  For instance, today

when I went to register my car at public safety, the officer at

the front desk made it a point to call me sweetie at least 20

times.  If I was a man, of course he would not have done that, I

know the officer was not intentionally making me feel

uncomfortable and was being friendly, but it just comes from a

long history of thinking women are delicate little flowers, which

is often untrue.  I curse like a truck driver, I am not proud of

it, but there is not need to sugar coat things for me.

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------

 

QUESTION #7. Can you think of any instances in which you have

been treated particularly well by the opposite sex, simply

because of your (or their) gender? If so, give a brief

description of what happened.

 

#7  the times when I feel treated particularly well by the

opposite sex is when I dress up for work.  I dont dress nicely

very often, since I hate the aspect of getting dolled up, but for

work I have to dress nicely, and I notice if I dress a little

provocatively, then many males treat me nicely, and talk to me

more.  I just dont understand why I only get attention when I

dress up.  It just shows me that personality doesnt really matter

to guys, but rather ones looks.

 

#7 I go to concerts a lot. I loved going into the mosh pit where

thousands of other teens would congregate together and jump up

and down to the music.  Sometimes during a particularly raucous

concert people would get knocked down by other audience members.

After a person was knocked down there was an obviously marked

difference between how girls were treated then boys were. In my

own particular case when I was knocked down, guys and girls would

both rush in to pick me up and made sure that I was not hurt.

When guys were knocked down, no one would help them up and no one

would take any steps to see that they were not trampled by the

undulating masses.  In this particular instance it was a lot

better to be a girl in terms of how people would try to protect

you.  #7.  Men are always trying to cater to your service more so

at restaurants or such places.  One gets a lot more attention and

the service is great.

 Sometimes you can get away with free drinks when one is a

female.  The opposite sex is very receptive to ones needs.  When

my girlfriends and I went to dinner the male waiter was very

cordial and waiting on us hand and feet.  My male friends did not

have the same experience with this waiter because he was very

inattentive when they went. The guys believed that the only

reason we were treated nicer was because we were women and women

always get treated more favorably by male waiters.

 

#7  I remember several times where people of the opposite sex

have treated me particularly well just because of my gender and

my physical appearance.  Guys whom I didn't know would always

give me free food or extra items at no charge just because they

thought I was attractive. There are also everyday things that

guys do that they normally wouldn't do to other guys.  These

include random acts of kindness or generosity.  A guy will behave

differently around a girl he doesn't know than a guy he doesn't

know.

 

#7. Females are treated better when it comes to opening doors for

then.  My male friends always open  doors, walk before them, and

other things simply because I am a female. Even if we are just

hanging out they tend to behave a little better because they know

that there is a female present.

 

#7.     When attending social functions with my guy friends

(platonic), they are always certain to make sure that I am having

a good time and in a sense that I am being protected.  At a

restaurant once, I was hit on and grabbed by an older man, when I

told my two male friends they immediately became upset and wanted

to do something about the situation.  I know that they were

"protecting" because I am their friend, but especially because I

am a female.

 

#7. I used to be friends with a guy who had a girlfriend. We

obviously weren't dating and he wasn't trying to impress me or

win me over but he still always treated me with the utmost

respect. He always opened doors for me and never even considered

allowing me to pay whenever we went anywhere (even though I

offered). It was nice to be treated so well just because I'm

female and he felt it was appropriate.

 

#7 I get treated particularly well by the opposite sex simply

because of my gender. For example, the other day I was out at a

restaurant with some of my girl friends and after we finished

eating the waiter asked us if we wanted some chocolate chip

cookies on the house. This was obviously only because we were

girls, and many times I get free things just because I am a girl.

 

#7  I have been treated better because of my gender too.  A few

years ago, I was playing in a co-ed indoor soccer league.  The

rules they set up for this league required that there be at least

3 females on the field at any given time, but there could be

more. The males couldn't outnumber the females because the

assumption is that the men are better.  So the rules stated that

every goal a woman scored was worth 2 points, while every goal by

a man was only worth one.  I'm not sure if that is actually being

treated better or not.

 

#7 There have been many times where I have been treated well by

the opposite sex simply because I am a girl. Many times boys have

let me go in fron of them in lines or have even given me stuff.

Guys will let me into a party for free and then charge guys who

want to get into the same party. Also they will give me free

drinks at parties and bars.

 

#7  I have received free things such as drinks at gas stations

and even photo copies at Kinkos simply because the men working

there found me attractive and they thought that giving me

something free would make me like them.  Does this actually work?

 

#7 in the work place I believe women are sometimes treated

better. For example, when I worked in the hospital setting with

my male friend I was constantly treated better by the male

doctors and nurses. They took me more seriously than they did

him, mainly because they assumed I would want a career in the

field and he wouldn't. I believe the employees had a sexist

attitude, because they assumed my friend would not consider that

a career because male nurses are scarce, and therefore treated me

better because I would be the one who later on came back as a

nurse, when in reality I did not want any part of the hospital

setting as well.

 

#7 Being a woman has its advantages in many ways. It mostly

consists of getting things for free. I can get many things for

free and give nothing in return for it. For example, at

restaurants I can get drinks for free just because I can smile

and engage in small talk. I can also get into clubs for free.

 

 

#7.     When I was applying for jobs, I received the position as

a receptionist at an athletic club mostly because of the way I

looked.  I came to this conclusion because I know there were many

people interested in the job just as qualified as I.

 

#7.  An instance in which I was treated particularly well was

when my ex- boyfriend started mouthing off to me and my other guy

friends totally stood up for me.  They yelled at him and made him

leave the area we were in.  My guy friends also comforted me and

told me that any guy would be lucky to have me in their lives.

This cheered me up right away.  I think its important for guys to

make girls feel better if they have a chance to.

 

#7.  The examples of being treated particularly well by males are

mostly at bars or clubs when I will be offered free drinks from

bartenders or free admission.  Sometimes I will go to clubs or

bars with my boyfriend, and I know it is a lot easier for me to

get into the club than it is for him because he is a male and I

am a female.  Also, I am more likely to be offered free drinks by

a bartender than he is.  I can make an argument, though, that I

get these things at clubs and bars because these establishments

feel that they will benefit from treating me well.

 

#7      Often times guys are extra polite to girls, whether it is

a guy you're on a date with or just a stranger you see somewhere.

Guys often open doors for girls, pay for girls, let them go first

for various things, let them sit while they stand, and more.

 

#7      I have large breasts so its quite possible and often is

the case that males are nicer and more apt to doing things for

me.

 

#7.  Woman get a lot simply because they are women.  They can cut

in line,

 

get into clubs, and almost never have to pay for anything.

 

#7.  My last boyfriend was good about treating me well because I

was a girl, he would open the door, not cuss in front of me, pay

for things, and offer me his jacket if I was cold.  These are

just some things that guys will do for girls that they would

never do for a guy.

 

#7. {Laughing} Yes. I got pulled over for running a stop sign,

not a serious offense, but big enough that he needed to stop me.

This was the first time I got pulled over and I really wasn't in

the mood for a ticket, [who is?] so I was ready to put on "the

act". As he came up to my window I smiled politely and asked that

stupid, but routine question, "What seems to be the problem

officer?"[or something to that extent]. He said that I ran the

stop sign and of course I denied it, and all the while smiling

and being extra polite as women so often do. In the end the

officer told me "Be more careful in the future and have a nice

day". I said thank you and that was the end of that. I rolled up

my window and drove off. I am pretty sure that if I was a male I

wouldn't have gotten off that easy.

 

#7      Oh, I definitely can think of many instances when I have

been treated better because of my gender.  But they are often

based on the a man's inclination to objectify women.  For

example, the other night I was waiting in line to attend a

popular bar with a bunch of male friends, and the bouncer singled

me out and allowed me in the bar about 20 minutes before my guy

friends we admitted.  I took full advantage of course with no

complaints, but it was a little unfair to the guys.  Cute girls

in a bar leads to more men buying them drinks in a bar, therefore

more money for the bar.

 

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

QUESTION #8.  Describe an instance, or instances, when you have

been rejected by someone of the opposite sex  to whom you were

attracted.  How did they reject you?  Was their behavior

inconsiderate, rude or insensitive?  How did it make you feel?

How might they have done it in a more considerate way?

 

#8 I had just started to date this guy from work, but things were

still a bit uncertain.  Over the previous couple of days we had

this unspoken agreement that any day we closed together, we would

hang out afterwards.  And this was ok with me, since if we didnt

work together, I wouldnt even know if we would go out again,

since he didnt really ever call me.  So one night I knew we were

both closing so I came to work looking forward to us hanging out

afterwards.  But on our breaks we were talking in the breakroom

and he said, You know Im kind of tired tonight, and I dont really

want to hang out tonight. And I hid my hurt and replied ok, no

problem, but on the inside I was truly hurt; I felt like he didnt

want to hang out with me. And since he didnt call me on days we

didnt work, and he didnt want to get together tonight, then he

didnt want to see me anymore.  You know, the basic analyzing that

girls go through.  So, I proceeded to leave with my head up until

I was out of his sight and then cried.  I felt rejected by him

because I felt I had no control over the situation. In my mind,

it seemed to be whatever he says, goes.  In order to be more

considerate, I think he could have said, You know I really dont

feel well, but I want to get together with you, so Ill call you

when I get home, or Ill call you tomorrow.  Anything to show that

he actually wanted to be with me.

 

#8 Not applicable #9

 

#8.  I have never been rejected by the opposite sex because I try

not to put myself in that situation but if I were to be rejected

I think I would like him to tell me why he cannot see us

together.  When I reject a man I try to be as rational as

possible and let them know why I dont see myself dating this

person.  I tell that all their good traits and everything I like

about them first but let them know that we are not at the same

level and that I am looking for something different in my life

right now.

 

#8  When I was in high school, I went out on a date with a guy

whom I had talked to online but never met.  We met for the first

time and had a great time together.  At the end of the night we

wished each other goodnight and parted.  The next time I talked

to him, he seemed different.  I never did figure out why he never

went out with me again.  He seemed really attracted to me on our

first date, but I didn't know what went wrong.  I had a feeling

that he wanted something else from me, but I had no clue what it

was.  It was very inconsiderate of him to just stop talking to me

all of a sudden.  When I asked him if he wanted to go out again,

he said he did, but then I never heard from him again.  I never

understood what happened, but he obviously didn't talk to me

about anything.  It made me feel very confused, angry and a

little hurt.

 He could have at least talked to me about whatever he was

thinking about.  He might have told me what was wrong or if he

just didn't want to go out again, maybe just stay friends.

 It would have been fine with me, but the way he just disappeared

seemed really rude and selfish of him.

 

#8.     n/a

 

#8. My ex-boyfriend and I were on-again off-again for nearly

three years.  He was the most indecisive person I have ever met

(male or female) and could never seem to figure out whether or

not he wanted to be together.  He had a really difficult time

accepted that he was Christian but I was agnostic. According to

his faith he felt that he was not allowed to love me and when he

felt that he loved me anyway the questions that brought up about

his faith were just too much for him to deal with. He was always

very considerate in the way he presented his side to me and was

never mean about it, although it still hurt. He was the kind of

guy who always wanted to make everyone else happy and didn't

really question whatever information he was given by people in

authority positions. I really don't believe he ever loved me,

only that he thought that's what I wanted to hear from him so he

said it. At the time when I did believe he loved me, though, and

that the only reason he could give for why we couldn't be

together was our religious differences, it hurt so much I could

hardly breathe.

 

#8 I remember one time when I had this crush on a guy and

apparently he didnt feel the same way about me, because when I

told him how I felt he told me that the timing was off and that

he didnt want a girlfriend.  A week later he was going out with

some other girl. Obviously he was just trying to let me down by

making up excuses and that just ended up hurting me more. Its

easier to take rejection when the person is just honest with

their feelings. When they make up dumb excuses, one they are

rejecting you anyway and two they insult you because they think

you are dumb enough to believe their lame excuses.

 

#8  I was rejected by a boyfriend who decided he was done with

our relationship without telling me of his decision.  He

proceeded to spend less time with me and more with his other

female "friends". He stopped calling.  He avoided my phone calls.

Basically he just withdrew from me completely.  Rather

communicating his issues with me he ignored me.  I was hurt and

angry.  It would have been better if he had just talked to me

about what was going on.

 

#8  I have had a guy who I liked and let know that I like tell

other people that he wasnt interested in me and that he didnt

want a girlfriend.  I thought this was a good way to handle it.

He wasnt mean and he didnt lead me on he was just honest and I

appreciate that even though I still felt rejected.

 

#8  I have never really put myself in the position where I could

get rejected.

 

I was always the one who never told anyone who I liked for fear

of such

 

information getting back to that person.  But, there was this one

guy that I liked and he didn't intentionally reject me nor did he

do anything mean.

 He simply did not act at all.  I went to a dance with this guy

and at the end of the night, I thought he was going to kiss me.

We had been good friends and we had a great night so I figured it

was inevitable.  He walked me to the door, hugged my goodnight

and was on his way.  So, to make myself feel better I came to the

conclusion that he must be gay.  Another time, the same guy who I

liked since the first day of high school, was having problems

with his girlfriend.  I was so in love with this guy, and his

friends told him that I liked him.

 So he called me and he was simply trying to get it out of me

that I liked him, but my lips were sealed.  So, he told me that

he wanted to break up with her and be single for a while so that

the could get with a bunch of girls.  He was only doing that to

get a rise out of me but I didn't know that then and I was

 

devastated.  He asked me out a week later.

 

#8 once, my friend was very attracted to a male who was popular

at the time. He was able to chose which females he wanted to get

to know and the others were rejected. My friend was bold enough

to tell him she liked him more than a friend, and wanted to get

to know him better as possible dating partners. he told her he

was flattered, however, he had a girlfriend. From that confession

on, he ignored her all the time. He did not talk to her as a

friend like he use to and avoided to be where she was. She told

me she did not care if he liked her or not, however, she wanted

to let him know how she felt so she wouldn't regret not telling

him in the future.  She stopped liking him because she said he

showed his immaturity through his actions be avoiding her and

therefore was glad she found that out.

 

 

#8 I told my crush that I had liked him and he pretended that I

was talking about his friend whom he thought I liked. When I made

it clear to him he still did not believe me. Though it wasn't a

straightforward rejection, it was definitely a rejection because

after that day he acted completely different around me. I felt as

though something was wrong with me. Not once did I ever consider

that he probably was not the best for me. Then I became angry

with him for not being upfront and straightforward with me

throughout our entire relationship.

 

 

 

 

#8.     Someone of the opposite sex has not rejected me yet, but

I believe this is because I will only pursue a guy when I am sure

he is interested.

 

#8.  An instance when I was rejected by a guy was when I really

liked this

 

particular guy and I finally worked up the courage to tell him.

Unfortunately

 

he had a girlfriend, so I had no chance with him.  Although he

didnt care for me in the way that I cared for him, he was nice

about letting me down easy.

 He told me that maybe if we met under different circumstances or

at a different

 

time thins might have worked out differently.

 

#8.  I had a close friend in high school, and we had phases in

which one of us liked the other. However, we never liked one

another at the same time.  One night, I told him that I had

romantic feelings for him, and he told me pretty

straightforwardly that he did not feel the same way for me.  At

first, I thought his reaction was insensitive and inconsiderate,

and I was hurt that he did not see me like I saw him.

Eventually, I was able to come to a point when I saw his

 

straightforward approach as best because it did not lead me on.

I felt that he handled the situation with maturity out of respect

for our friendship.

 

#8      I can't remember a time I was rejected by a guy.

 

#8.  When it comes to rejection, I feel that men play the same

games that

 

girls do.  In these such situations, men tend to be less

straightforward.

 

Instead they will simply ignore you and/or avoid you.  When it

comes to

 

rejecting someone, guys want to do it over the phone or have a

friend do it for them.

 

#8.  I have never really thought about this before, but a guy has

never rejected me.  When I though about it I realized that I will

not let a guy have the chance to reject me.  I always let the guy

make the first move and talk to me or ask me out.  I was raised

in a household were my mom would not let us call guys until I was

in high school, she said "if they want to talk to you they will

call you".  The funny thing about it now is that I really do not

want to call guys I honestly think if they wanted to talk to me

they can call me.

 

#8. I had a particular liking for this one guy at a grocery

store. Every time I went in there we had this eye contact. The

"interested eye contact" is what I call it.

 I finally started to talk to him. He was lagging on asking me

out so I just blurted out" what are you doing after work?" and he

said that he couldn't go out with me because he had a girlfriend.

So now I leave the asking out to the guys. He was not rude about

it or insensitive, it just sucked being rejected.

 

#8        Most of the rejections I have experienced occurred

rather indirectly.

 There was no climatic breakup and turn down.  I am overly

protective of myself and usually do the rejecting, I know it

sounds terrible but I just cannot help it.  There are instances I

can recall when a guy will not give me the attention I want as a

way of pushing me away, but I quickly get the message and move

on, I hate dwelling.

 

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Imagine that you have known someone of the opposite sex for about

a month.  You have dated this person several times, but so far

there hasn't been any kind of physical intimacy (holding hands,

kissing, etc.) between the two of you. Now, you are out on a date

with this person again.

 

How would you try to influence this person in each of the

following circumstances:

 

QUESTION #9. Situation 1: The date has been going very well and

you feel very physically attracted to this person.  How would you

influence this person to become physically intimate, and to go as

far sexually as you wanted to go?

 

 

#9  in order to influence the person to become physically

intimate I would suggest intimate places where we could go.  For

instance, going back to one of our places to watch a movie, where

we could get close on the couch.  I am a shy person, so anything

more extreme, or forward, than this would be out of my character.

I would also probably find excuses to casually touch the other

person, in order to show him that I am attracted to him.

 

#9.  SITUATION 1:  I am not the type to make first moves on a guy

so I would not take any steps in kissing him.  I think that I

would be able to let him know how I feel about him and maybe hold

his hand as we talk.

 If he takes the initiative after that then it is welcomed but if

he does not then I would just wait.  I am not very physically

intimate with a guy I have been going out for a month with so If

he has not tried anything I would be pleased.  I would take the

first step of holding his hand but I would let go afterwards and

if he holds it himself then I know that he is still interested.

I would not kiss him, I would wait until he makes a move.

 

#9  First, I think I would be very curious as to why there hasn't

been any physical intimacy after a month.  I would suspect that

the person didn't feel attracted to me.

 To find out, I would most likely try to flirt with them or just

act very touchy-feely towards them.

 If they don't respond or pay attention then it would mean they

don't feel anything towards me. It would be difficult to

influence them if they didn't really respond to my attempts.  If

I thought they were too shy, I might have to talk to them about

everything that has been going on. I would tell them how I feel

about them and how I want to develop our relationship into

something more intimate.  I think it is important in any

relationship to be close with the person not just mentally but

physically.

 

#9. I would flirt so that he could get the hint that I am

attracted to him. I would also try to find moments in which we

can be alone so that it can be much easier for him to be

comfortable. If this didnt work, then I would look into his eyes,

touch his hand, or do things that show him I am interested in

him.

 

#9      I would influence this person to become more sexual by

touching their arms and sitting very close to him and talking

about how much I am enjoying the date and have been enjoying

getting to know him over the past month or so.  I would continue

by sending physical signs of touching and making lots of eye

contact.

 

#9. I was always very shy about physical sexuality in high

school. I was already eighteen before I'd ever even kissed

someone so holding hands had been a really big deal for a really

long time. However, when I started dating my current boyfriend I

became much more confident in my own sexuality and I actually

made the first move on him. Personally, if I feel confident

around the person I want to be physically intimate with, I have

no problem initiating contact.

 

#9 I would be extra flirty and touchy, finding excuses to touch

their hand and get them to put their arm around me. I would smile

a lot and be friendly enough to where the guy would have no doubt

in his mind that if he made a move I wouldnt reject him.

 

#9  I would try to indicate to proceed to become more physically

intimate by leaning closer to him.  I would try to find

opportunities to touch him and smile as much as possible.  I

would initiate holding hands or put his arm around me.  I would

probably also kiss him.

 

#9 I would be really flirty and touchy. I would be playful but

not too sexual, just let him know that I am ready to move on to

the next step and I wouldnt reject him if he tried to get

physical.

 

#9  I am not a very sexually aggressive person so I would

definitely wait for him to make the first move.

 

#9 if I wanted the male to kiss me and want me sexually, I would

wear a black dress, which was a little leg revealing, however did

not look as if I was trying to seduce him. Then I would make more

physical contact by touching him on his arms when he made a joke

or just a casual touch now and then. I would make more eye

contact and smile, so that he knows I like him and wouldn't mind

if he kissed me. I would boost up his confidence, so that he does

not feel timid about kissing me or wants assurance that I like as

well.

 

#9 If we dated for a month and there has been no physical

intimacy I would first ask myself why. If there were an

attraction beyond that, such as intellectual intimacy, I would

pursue the physical intimacy. I would first try to hold his hand.

If he backs away then I would ask him what is going on with our

relationship. If he responds to the hand holding then I would

still want to talk to him about our relationship, such as where

is it going?  Are we just friends? What do you want to come out

of this? Etc. If there were a positive response to these

questions then our relationship would then become more physical.

 

#9.     I generally try to look at them differently.  I subtly

try more seductive eye contact, but also appear uninterested in

them at the same time.  When a guy feels unsure that you are

attracted to him, he generally tries harder.  #9.  I would

influence them by trying to start with small physical touches,

such as holding their hand first.  Depending on if their reaction

is good or bad would determine if I tried something else such as

a hug or kiss.  Personally, I like to take things slow, so thats

about as far as I would take it on one date.

 

#9.  I would make more of an effort to physically dress sexier

for the date.  I would also play to his ego and touch him more as

we interacted.  If this wouldn't work, then I would send some

verbal cues to let him know that I am very happy with the way

that things are going with us.  If this doesn't work, then maybe

I would find a way to hold his hand.  In terms of convincing him

to go as far as I wanted to go, I assume that most males would

want to go farther than I would so I would just let him know if I

thought things were going too far sexually.

 

#9      If I wanted to become physically intimate with a guy I'd

probably flirt with him and make little gestures like touching

his arm or something. If he didn't get the hint, I would probably

just stop because I don't think I'd ever make the first move.

        If I wanted to become more intimate with him, after

already having some type of intimacy, I would be bolder and make

the first move on my own.

 

#9      I would tell him I wasn't interested in public, while we

were still on our date, so as to have the option of getting a cab

for myself, depending on his behavior and manner.

 

#9.  I am normally not the one to initiate the first move, and I

feel most

 

women aren't.  Instead I would try to give off some clear signs

as to make it obvious that I was sexually interested in this

person.  Women have a flirtation way about them.  They can easily

show a guy that they are interested, i.e. eye contact, showing

interest in what he is saying, physical

 

contact, etc.

 

#9.  If it was the first time we were going to be physically

intimate I would just give looks to let the guy know that I was

interested.  That would be an extreme case.  I really do not even

think that I would even do that I would probably just think that

they were not interested.  If they want to make a move then they

can.  I know I am a difficult girl in this way but I do not make

the first move.

 

#9. All you have to do is ask questions like: Are you a

passionate kisser?  Do you consider yourself a good kisser? Do

you consider yourself to be romantic? Questions like this

normally get the ball rolling. I would start to ask questions on

these grounds to try to get the person to become more physically

intimate.

 

#9      I would influence the person to become physically

intimate by perhaps saying something complimentary to them that

requires me to touch them.

 For example, "you have beautiful skin" and I would put my hand

to their face for a moment.  A gentle touch can be arousing.  Or

perhaps, a more aggressive approach would be too perhaps make eye

contact with them when they are in close proximity to me and kiss

them on the cheek which would hopefully lead to a kiss on the

lips.  As far as allowing the activity to go to a certain level,

if they are timid and I want to go further I will guide their

hand, or take the initiative to remove a piece of clothing of

mine or his, to put it bluntly.  To slow it down, I may distance

my body from his a tiny and continue on with lighter, more gentle

kisses.

 

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

QUESTION #10. Situation 2:  The date has been going well, but you

do not feel particularly physically attracted by this person.

However, you can tell that this person is really turned on by

you.  Still, you know you're not interested in physical intimacy,

and/or the subsequent involvement or commitment that might

follow. How would you influence this person to avoid becoming

sexual?

 

#10  If I wasnt physically attracted to a person I had been

dating I would try to start downplaying our relationship and up

playing our friendship.  If it came to a point that went too far,

I would apologize and say, You know, I dont really feel

comfortable doing anything. I would also start fidgeting.  The

only problem is that I hate hurting peoples feelings, and honesty

in a situation like that is very difficult for me, so I would

just do everything I could to not get alone with the personend

the date quickly and nonchalantly.

 

#10 I would rebuff any advances made by the person. I would try

and use my body language to convey that I am not attracted to

that person. I would turn my body slightly away from them while

we were talking. I wouldnt sit too closely to that person or put

myself in a situation which could be conveyed as sexual. But

superseding this, I dont think that I would go out with a person

I wasnt physically attracted to.

 

#10.  SITUATION 2:  I would tell him right away how I feel.  I

would tell them that the past month has been great but that it

cannot go on any further because I have no attraction to him.  It

is aqwared at first but it is worst to lead him on, it would only

harm him more so in the long run. I dont like playing games so if

he wanted to become sexual I would not beat around the bush.  I

would tell him how I feel, tell him that he is a great person and

offer my friendship to him and let him decide if he wants to be

my friend or end it all together.

 

 

#10  I would basically treat them as a friend and be unresponsive

to their sexual advances if they had any.  I am pretty good at

hinting at people how I feel towards them, so I am sure that the

person would get the message quite clearly by the end of the

date.  If they didn't, I would have to just tell them what I was

thinking and let them know that I didn't really want our

relationship to go in that direction.  If worse came to worse, I

would have to avoid them in the future and maybe lose contact

with them.

 

#10. I would put distance between us. Try to show him that I am

not attracted to him by  not really paying attention to him. I

would also try to use body language to give him a hint that I am

not really attracted to him.  Try not to do anything that makes

him think he has a chance.

 

#10.    I would influence this person to avoid becoming sexual by

talking a lot about how much I enjoy being friends with him and

sending across the message that I am only interested in being

friends.

 

#10. I went to prom one year with a male friend of mine that I

knew was interested in me. He was a perfect date and I enjoyed

flirting with him, dancing with him, or being a kind of "couple

for a night," but I still did not want to date him. I didn't want

him to get the wrong impression so I started conversations about

how great it is to have a friendship that hasn't been muddled up

by romance. I also had an advantage because since he was a lot

taller than I am, when he tried to kiss me I had enough time to

realize it and change the direction of his actions.

 

#10 I wouldnt smile or laugh, I would have really cold body

language and I would make sure there was constantly distance

between us. I would also try to talk to them about what a great

friend they are, or find a way to talk about another guy that I

liked. I would do my best to be a sensitive to their feelings as

possible.

 

#10  I would try to keep the discussions light and avoid romantic

situations.  If he initiated touching, I would move away and keep

my personal distance.  If he didn't get the hints, I would tell

him that I'm not interested in a romantic relationship with him.

 

#10 I would not flirt with him but talk to him in a friend way

only.  I wouldnt be touchy and I would discourage him from

touching me. If he did I would back off so he knew that I dont

want that kind of relationship.

 

#10  If a guy tried anything or even hinted that he wanted to do

anything

 

sexual, I would just tell him right there and then that nothing

like that was going to happen.  I would tell him that I'm just

not ready yet and that if he really cared about me, he would

wait.  That sounds so cliche but it's how I am.

 

#10 if I did not like the person, I would be more open with him

like I would be with a friend. I would treat him more like a

buddy and not give him ideas that I, at any point, like him as

well. I would wear more casual wear to once again show him that I

think of him only as a friend. I'm pretty sure he would make

comments about his attraction to me, therefore I would ignore the

comments or change the subject. I know that one definite way to

scare him off is to talk about an ex-boyfriend.

 

#10 The problem in this situation is that one sees the other as a

friend and the other sees the other as a relationship type. The

way that I would approach this situation would first be to

clarify that we are simply friends. I would then try to avoid any

situations that would give him the ability to "make his move." If

he were very persistent then I would move if he tried to kiss me

or touch me.

 

#10.    I would avoid any eye contact beyond simply being polite

and turn my body slightly in the opposite direction.  When a girl

is interested her body language will communicate this and visa-

versa.  I would also stop initiating conversation and resort to

only answering questions so that I don't seem like a complete

bitch.

 

#10.  To avoid becoming sexual, I would simply just tell him that

the feelings

 

he has for me arent mutual.  It would not be fair to lead him on

and let him think that there is more involved in the relationship

than there really is.

 

#10.  I would do anything in my power to appear less attractive

to him.

 By that time, I would probably have an idea of what he doesn't

like in a woman, and I would do that to turn him off of me.  If

he didn't take the hint, then I would tell him in a firm (but not

rude) manner that I do not see our relationship progressing.

 

#10     To avoid intimacy with a guy I would probably act more

standoffish and distant. I wouldn't flirt; I would act as if we

were just friends.  But at the same time, I would try not to be

rude about it. If he still tried to make a move, then I'd

probably tell him how I feel, or if I really think it may hurt

his feelings, I would make up some excuse.

 

#10     I would just say, "Let's go have sex" and the guy would

probably be up for it.

 

#10.  Keep things on a friend to friend bases.  If I need to I

might even

 

talk about another guy or say that I have a boyfriend.  I will

talk about my girlfriends, hinting to him that I want to set him

up with one of them.

 I would insist on paying for half of everything.  That way I

wouldn't owe him anything.

 

#10.  This is easy and I have actually been in this situation

before. In this situation I would not walk or sit very close to

the person and then I would suggest that we go hang out with

other people after we were done with whatever we were doing. I

would not give any signals to the person to make then think that

I was interested because I like rejecting guys about as much as

they like being rejected.

 

#10. If he started asking me questions like the ones I mentioned

above, I would start giving him signs in my answers. I would also

tell him that I'm not looking for a relationship right now etc. I

wouldn't be insensitive or anything like that, I would just

casually let him know how I feel with the situation.

 

#10     In order to avoid becoming sexual with this person or

discourage feelings beyond friendship, I would try and maintain a

playful attitude with them.

 I would stay away from any sexy or seductive moves.  I would

make physically contact quick and friendly, not prolonged and

sensual.  Maybe even mention that this person is such a good

friend, I might even go as far as to mention someone that he

would really vibe with instead of me.  I know this sounds mean,

but sometimes it must be taken to that level.

 

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

 

SENTENCE COMPLETION

 

For each of the following sentence fragments, complete the

sentence, and, if you wish, add a few more sentences to complete

your thought.  Do not include the sentence stem in your

response--only your answer to it.

 

QUESTION #11.  In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a

tendency to become "insanely" jealous when...

 

 

#11  you even just talk to someone of the opposite sex.  Even if

they dont say to you that they are jealous, you can see it on

their face.  Males want to feel like they are the only one in

your life, and if it looks like you are flirting with another

male, or even just having a conversation with one, it seems that

they become jealous.  I dont really think they get jealous if a

girl looks at a guy walking by. But that is probably because they

just dont notice; or they are looking at another girl at the same

time.

 

#11 When they feel that their girlfriend is cheating with/

flirting with another person.  #11.  He sees you talking to

another male who might pose a danger to the relationship.  When a

guy sees you talk to another man that is superior to him in some

way he gets insanely jelous because the other man is a threat to

him.

 

#11  He feels threatened by another guy who could be better than

him in whichever way, or if his significant other shows any signs

of being attracted to him.

 

#11. ...you talk to someone of the opposite sex.

 

#11.    In general, it seems that the opposite sex has a tendency

to become "insanely"jealous when...someone hits on his or her

girlfriend or another girl that they are interested or in another

instance if someone is "bothering" my sister.

 

#11. ... an attractive male talks to his girlfriend or she is

friendly with an ex-boyfriend.

 

#11 When I dance or talk to other guys, or when I spend too much

time with my friends and not enough time with them.

 

#11  a female they're dating has contact with another man that

they don't know.

 

#11 I have friends that are other guys, (if this person is my

boyfriend).

 

#11  ...girls have other guy friends and god forbid want to hang

out with them.  I have a friend who has been going out with this

guy for 2 years now and she is not allowed to talk to guys who he

does not know.

 

 

#11 the woman has male friends and hangs out with them often

because he believes a spark will ignite one day and he will be

left without a girlfriend.

 

#11 they feel threatened by another man who has approached me or

when I approach another male who may be "superior" to him.

 

#11.    it is clear that there are more attractive men in the

room.

 

#11.  you talk about other guys and how you wish they could be

more like the other guys.  They dont like to think that they

might lose you to another guy.

 

#11.  they feel that another guy is moving in on their girl.

 

#11     ...he thinks another guy likes his girlfriend or vice

versa. Or if his girlfriend has male friends.

 

#11     another guy is talking to "their woman".

 

#11.  I talk about my ex-boyfriend.

 

#11.  Girls talk about other guys.  It can be something as simple

as a hot guy on TV that you comment about or as bad as talking

about your ex-boyfriend.

 

#11.  their girlfriends introduce them to their male friends.

 

#11     ...he thinks that his territory is being challenged by

another man.

 If another man is hitting on his girlfriend or a past boyfriend

is coming back into her life.

 

 

-----------------------------------------------------

 

QUESTION #12.  When it comes to initiating sexuality for the

first time, the opposite sex...

 

 

#12  never hesitates.  Sex is in a guys thoughts throughout the

entire day, so any chance they see, they pounce.  Hence, many

times when they get a little taste of sexuality, they move in for

a lot more.  For instance, if you just kiss a guy, a lot of

times, they think its a signal for more, and they often times

will try and go farther.  Sometimes kissing should just remain

kissing.

 

#12 Seems to be the one who initiates it, and wants the first

time to come quicker in the relationship than girls do.  #12. Is

very direct and in my experience always initiates it and is very

persistent if turned down.

 

#12 Tends to always rush things and wants to get as far as

possible with a girl.

 

#12. ...tends to be very shy.

 

#12.    When it comes to initiating sexuality for the first time,

the opposite sex...  usually makes the first move.  I feel that

guys are more likely to initiate sexuality before females do.

 

#12. ... is much more aggressive in their approach.

 

#12 Can be too aggressive and presumptuous. They also think that

if they bye us dinner they are going to get a kiss at the end of

the night, and most of the time they arent.

 

#12  is usually more aggressive.

 

#12 seems to always take the initiative.

 

#12  ...knows what they're doing.  Guys are always up for

initiating sex, which is why it's up to females to say when it

goes to far for them.

 

#12 has a tendency to get too excited, and does not ask or make

sure that the woman is completely comfortable and has made the

right decision.

 

#12 usually should ask if he can become sexually intimate with

the other person.  It should be understood where they stand on

the sexual level that way there can be no confusion or

disappointments.

 

#12.    appears very nervous if he really cares about you.

 

#12.  usually always takes the first move and keeps going unless

you tell them to stop or slow down.  They assume that no answer

is a yes.

 

#12.  should make the first move.

 

#12     ...doesn't have to make the first move, but I would feel

more comfortable if he did. Since guys usually make the first

move, if he didn't then I would maybe think he didn't like me. Or

if I made the first move I would worry that he would think I was

too easy.

 

#12     is always ready for a sign, which he perceives as being

an indicator of your desire to have him sexually conquer you.

Since we have established that guys are inadequately

sensitive/perceptive and get aroused from the slightest

kissing/touching/visual sensations, naturally there arise

instances where their already skewed judgment is impaired by lack

of blood flow to their brains and date rape/forced sex occurs.

If not as drastic as this occurrence, then he will almost

inevitably become angry if the woman does not give into his

pleas, even demands, that she sexually please him.

 

#12.  is either overly aggressive or not aggressive enough.

 

#12.  Should always make the first move.  This is just something

that I personally let the guys do.

 

#12. usually has to make the first move.

 

#12     ...is often as nervous as I am for the first few moments,

even though they try and act like Mr. Suave and experienced.

 

 

---------------------------------------------------------

 

QUESTION #13.  The opposite sex seems clueless about...

 

#13  a girls feelings.  Males dont realize that we really are as

sensitive as the stereotype says. Even if we portray a tough

exterior, we are emotional balls underneath.

 Words hurt us deeply, and we analyze the way you say something

to mean something terrible, as if you had done something

terrible, even though you never did.  There is really no hope for

males to ever understand the female thought process because

females dont even realize they do it most of the time.

 

#13 How to convey their emotional needs, and girls in general #14

Doesnt put much value on, sex seems to be more important then

romance.  #13. everything having to do with a woman and her

emotions.  They do not understand us at all and they seem to have

given up trying.

 

#13 Everything. No I'm just kidding, they mostly seem clueless

about the needs of another person, especially women.

 

#13. ...what  women want and need in a relationship.

 

#13.    The opposite sex seems clueless about...everything.

 

#13. ... what is emotionally important to a female and why.

 

#13 Expressing feelings and emotion, and being sensitive

 

#13  consideration of others if the results don't benefit them.

 

#13 how to start a relationship with a girl.

 

#13  ...our emotions.  We can be so unbelievably upset and they

will have no clue that something is wrong.  When we say we're

fine, we usually aren't.  Keep

 

asking.

 

#13 a woman's sensitivity towards all those around her, not just

those people who are the closest.

 

#13 a women's need to talk about their feelings. They don't

understand it.  They think that if they act a certain way, that

that should be enough.  Well, it's not. We need for men to

express their feelings and talk about what they want.

 

#13.    what women really want from them.

 

#13.  anything that has to do with a womans needs.  Whether it be

that time of the month or just girlfriend/boyfriend stuff, they

dont have a clue where we are coming from.

 

#13.  the importance of expressing appreciation for the women in

their life and being sensitive to their needs.

 

#13     ...foreplay. I don't think they've ever heard of it.

 

#13     EVERYTHING ABOUT FEMALES, INCLUDING PLEASING THEM!

 

#13.  reading women.  They always misinterpret what you are

really saying,

 

either by reading to far into things, or by missing the obvious

signs.

 

#13.  What makes girls mad.  If guys were not clueless about what

makes girls mad then they would not do it more then once.

 

#13. what women want.

 

#13     ...when to give a women her space and when to call or

approach her.

 I know this goes along with a sense that men are suppose to be

mind readers, but it is more about being able to read someone.

When my roommate is in a bad mood, I know this and back off, when

she is in a better mood I will talk to her and perhaps see why.

If you cant read the person to a certain extent you probably

shouldn't be together.  Just like I would not be roommates with a

certain person because I can not read them or make sense of their

actions.

 

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QUESTION #14.  Being romantic is something that the opposite

sex...

 

#14 ...has to learn more about.  A girl likes a romantic guy, so

my suggestion is that every boy should take notes from his sister

on what a girl wants on romantic lines.

 Many guys just arent very romantic, and romance is very

important in a relationship, for girls at least.

 

#14. knows nothing about.  It is very hard for them to be

romantic and those that are strain to reach a little bit of

romance.  A girl  has to drop hints like crazy and they still

dont get it.

 

#14  Is good at doing, but may do it for the wrong reasons.  They

know that women like romance, but they may do it just because

they want women to like them or to set the mood for getting

sexually involved with her.

 

#14. ...has no clue about except for a few smart ones.

 

#14.    Being romantic is something that the opposite sex... does

not do often enough.

 

#14. ... either does not understand fully or at least needs

training in.

 

#14 Doesnt know anything about. Sometimes the opposite sex thinks

that going to a football game is romantic. Fun? yes. Romantic?

definitely not.

 

#14  has to make an effort at.  Romance doesn't seem to come

naturally to them.

 

#14 seems to be really good at actually.

 

#14  ... needs to do more of.  I have been very fortunate with

getting flowers and sweet notes but a little more frequency would

be nice.

 

#14 needs to work on. They have to know how to be romantic, when

to be romantic, and the tools they need to be romantic. For

example, flowers should be given on sporadic days, not just

birthdays and anniversaries.

 

 

#14 should realize that women want them to be romantic. Being

romantic does not necessarily mean that they have to always bring

you roses and take you on walks on the beach. Being romantic

means paying attention to the little things about what women want

and letting her know that you noticed in a cute romantic way. In

order for me to be in a relationship, the man would have to be

somewhat of a romantic, because I am.

 

#14.    is good at when they really love you.  Romance can't be

forced.

 

#14.  doesnt do all the time.  But when they decide to be

romantic, it reminds us women of why we love them.

 

#14.  should try to take seriously.

 

#14     ...should do more often. Guys don't realize how much that

means to a girl. It shows that you care for her and that you're

sensitive.

 

#14     doesn't know how to accomplish, as they are inept to

understanding the sensitive nature of women and, consequently,

how we must be wooed.

 Men are visual creatures, whereas women are aroused by the mind

as well as our physical senses.

 

#14.  has a hard time with.  They are not as inventive.

 

#14.  Needs to think more about.  I think that guys tend to

ignore romance.

 It is almost like they don't know what is romantic and what is

not.

 

#14. needs to have as a characteristic or they eventually need to

learn to become.

 

#14     ...can be very good at but often thinks it relies in

material things.

 I would take a sweet kiss at the perfect moment over any silly

rose or dinner at a fancy restaurant, that stuff is overrated.

 

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

QUESTION #15.  Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts

their boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship

"tests" by...

 

 

#15 seeing how much they can get away with.  I honestly dont

think males put girls through tests, especially not as much as

girls put males through tests, but I do think they like to see

how far they can go before the girl gets upset.

 

#15 Honestly, I have no idea what guys do to put their

girlfriends through relationship tests. At least with the guys I

know if they are attracted to their girlfriend and if their

girlfriend likes them back, they seem to be content. #15 taking

you out with his guy friends and seeing how they react to you and

checking if you flirt with them.

 

#15 Noticing how they act towards other guys or maybe even go as

far as spying on them when they are out with guy friends.

 

#15. ..playing with their feelings to see if they are strong

enough to deal with a relationship

 

#15.    Sometimes it seems that the opposite sex puts their

boyfriend/girlfriend through a series of relationship "tests"

by...seeing if the female will call first and/or how often she

will call.

 

#15. ... being inconsiderate or rude around other people to see

how much she will put up with.

 

#15 Looking to see if we flirt with other guys, if we are the

type of girl to commit or not. I also think that they want to see

if you will treat them with the same respect and consideration

that they treat you. For example, if a guy opens the car door for

me I will open his door for him before he gets around to the

drivers side. It just shows the guy that you arent just a taker,

but also a giver.

 

#15  trying to get away with as much as possible to see what the

female's limits are.

 

#15 seeing how they react to something that they say.

 

#15  ...going out with their guy friends and not telling you in

order to see how possessive you are.  They also will not call for

a few days in order to see how clingy you are.  I knew this one

guy, who I didn't go out with but we went to the movies as

friends once and I offered to pay.  He paid but he said I passed

the test by offering.  He said a girl who doesn't even offer is

not good

 

girlfriend material.

 

#15 making sure the woman is trustworthy. Males don't put all

their trust in a woman because since they never let their guard

down, they have to constantly be sure that won't hurt him.

 

#15 putting us through a series of situations where they want to

see how we are going to react to them. They also ask specific

questions just to see if we would answer them "correctly."

 

#15.    having them spend time with their close friends to see if

he can bring you into his world of friends.

 

#15.  not calling them to see if they will call you instead, and

by hinting at things you want to see if they pick up on it.  Its

a way to see how much they really listen to you and to see if the

feelings are mutual between the two of you.

 

#15.  keeping tabs on their activities when they are not

physically together (for example, excessively checking up on

them).

 

#15     ...having their friends hit on their girlfriends and

seeing how the girlfriends react.

 

#15     bringing her around the guys to see if she gets along

with their friends or bringing her to a bar or football game to

see if she can be one of the guys.

 

#15.  talking to other girls.  They want to see what they can get

away with. They are also testing how jealous and overprotective

you are.  If you get too upset, you'll push him away.  If you act

like you don't care, he'll get just as mad.

 

#15.  Hanging out with guy's only and seeing if the girlfriend

gets mad.

 I think a major thing for guys in making sure that they can have

their guy time to hang out.

 

#15. asking certain questions and then basing their thoughts on

the answers they have received.

 

#15     ...seeing where their boundaries lie.  For example, I may

see how a person reacts if become jealous or what makes them

jealous.  Also perhaps saying something outrageous on the second

or third date to see a reaction is also a form of a test to see

what they can handle.  This way not too much energy is invested

in a relationship if you know right away things cannot work.

 

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

QUESTION #16.  The opposite sex seems to support equality for the

sexes except when it comes to...

 

 

#16  fixing things.  Males think that since women dont have

comparable muscles then they cant build things, or fix a flat

tire, or get dirty.  But I personally like working hard and wish

males wouldnt write us women off as wimpy girly girls.

 

#16 When equitability gets confused for equality. When perhaps,

advantages are given to women to given them a better chance to

succeed in a male dominated profession. #16.  competing for a job

position.  Women are just not good enough when we are measured to

their standards.  They feel threatened too easily.

 

#16  Situations where a woman wants to do "masculine" tasks or

compete with other men.  This is especially true in sports.  Men

and women still won't compete with each other, and it's mostly

the men who support this idea.  Another instance when men are out

on dates.

 They always want to pay for the meal and always want to be in

control.  They always want to lead in dances, and show more acts

of chivalry.

 

#16. ...professions and who gets paid more.

 

#16.    The opposite sex seems to support equality for the sexes

when it comes to...having a professional career.

 

#16. ... most household chorse ("that's women's work" or "that's

not a man's job").

 

#16  Women being president, priests, navy seals, or any kind of

position of power.

 

#16  athletic capability and bringing in salary.

 

#16 career opportunities.

 

#16  ... sports.  Men feel threatened by our dominance in other

realms and want desperately to keep that sacred and separate.

 

#16 mechanical jobs. Men don't believe women can do the "tough"

male jobs such as construction because they are not strong enough

as men to carry heavy objects. They believe women would complain

too much about the job.

 

#16 being chivalrous to men. I think that they feel as thought

they are not "manly" if a woman opens the door for them or pays

for dinner. Their masculinity is threatened.

 

#16.    physical attribute and sports knowledge.

 

#16.  jobs that a man would typically do, such as being a

construction worker. They think that man have priority and better

skills in such areas.

 

#16.  positions of authority at work.

 

#16     ...sports.

 

#16     money.

 

#16.  sports and the presidency.

 

#16.  Sports.  A lot of guys think that girls cannot play sports

or think that they cannot b good at sports.

 

#16. being the "bread winner" or the person who brings home the

bacon.

 

#16     ...the use of an attractive women, clothed or barely

clothed to sell every product from beer to laundry detergent.  A

balding, overweight man, or rather average looking middle aged

man can be seen on television in order to sell all types of

items, yet is a rarity to see a woman of the same capacity being

used to sell something unless she is the butt of a joke.

 

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

QUESTION #17. Possessiveness is something that the opposite

sex...

 

#17  seems to vary.  There are some males who can become

incredibly possessive over their girlfriend, to the extreme that

they would prohibit a girl to see any male but him.  However, I

have never been in a relationship with a possessive male, nor

have I had an incidence with a possessive male, so I cant really

complete this statement.

 

#17 seems to have a problem with, especially when it comes to

their girlfriends.  #18 Doesnt put as much effort into it as

women do, and values physical attractiveness in women more then

women do in men.  #17.  Takes as a form of strength and

superiority.  They demonstrate their masculinity through this.

 

#17  Has a problem with, especially with their significant other.

They tend to treat them more as objects than women do, and can

become very jealous of other men if they see them looking at

their girlfriend.

 

#17. ...knows very well. They are very territorial

 

#17.    Possessiveness is something that the opposite sex...does

not admit to having a problem with.

 

#17. ... needs to work on. (Possessiveness goes hand in hand with

jealousy.)

 

#17 Exhibits often in relationships.

 

#17  exhibits especially when it comes to their significant

other.

 

#17 needs to control.

 

#17  ...does very well.  My boyfriend is not like this at all but

I see it all the time with my friends' boyfriends.  The girls

feel suffocated and that's not fair.

 

#17 does not know how to control. They have such a macho attitude

that they feel inferior if the woman suggests for them to do

something.

 

#17 should not be. I hate it when men try to control or become

possessive.  I want to live my life and do the things that I want

to do. Being possessive only drives me away. Men should feel

confident in our relationship to let me do what I want and not

feel threatened.

 

 

 

#17.    shows when the feel threatened by other males.

 

#17.  is all too fond of.  They need to learn to trust us more

often and give us more credit than they seem to do.

 

#17.  needs to work on reducing.

 

#17     ...is guilty of, but they probably aren't as possessive

as girls are.

 

#17     subconsciously and consciously has at the forefront of

their mind as they are constantly aware of their masculinity

being threatened.

 

#17.  has a problem with.  They are so possessive, yet expect

females to give them their space.

 

#17.  Gets a power trip over.  Guys become increasingly

possessive the longer they date a girl.  They start to feel like

they have a possession that is theirs only and they get mad if

girls talk to other guys or don't hang out with them during all

of their free time.

 

#17. normally has a huge problem dealing with.

 

#17     ...often is very guilty of.  Boyfriends sometimes cannot

fathom a girl would maintain relationships with other men because

she has a boyfriend and there is no need for any further male

contact.  Get a grip, I am friends with these men because they

possess a quality I enjoy, give me some freedom.

 

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

QUESTION #18.  When it comes to physical attractiveness, the

opposite sex...

 

#18 knows how to look good.  Although male hygiene needs some

work, it doesnt require much for them to be attractive.

Basically, if he has a good personality, is confident, and has a

good smile, then he is good to go.

 

#18.  puts it first on their list as the most important factor

that attracts them to women.

 

#18  Can pull off being attractive, but most of the time are not,

in my opinion.

 

#18. ...uses it to choose who they want or dont want for a

relationship.  I think it is the most important factor for them.

 

#18.    When it comes to physical attractiveness, the opposite

sex...seems to put a great emphasis on this factor over others.

 

#18. ... is more preoccupied with it than females are.

 

#18 cares way too much about, prioritizes it too highly.

 

#18  doesn't need to make as much effort grooming.

 

#18 sees that has very important.

 

#18  ...lives off of it.  They only want the models, and that is

so hard to live up to.  If only every guy could see what models

look like when they're sick or right when they wake up before the

make up goes on.  Models are just like the rest of us.

 

#18 usually chooses to be with the women who show more skin. They

don't look twice at the girls who dress decent, rather want the

girls who barely have any clothes on.

 

#18 pays to much attention to it. I think men just look to see if

the woman is physically attractive, which I believe is important,

but then they base everything on that. I don't think that they

look at woman who are cute, but also have the personality and

humor, but won't give them a chance because they are not what

society labels as beautiful.

 

#18.    takes this very seriously for girls they plan to have

relationships with and don't take this seriously for girls they

only plan on sleeping with.

 

#18.  usually looks too much at it at first, but then realizes

that there is more to that person than just physical appearances

most of the time.

 

#18.  looks their best if they are tall and have a strong build

(look like they could pick me up without ease.)

 

#18     ...can be very attractive when they make a slight effort.

 

#18     being the visual creatures that they are, focuses on

appearance, but just as much as women do.  Once one is closer to

another, him/her object of affection becomes more attractive,

this goes for both males and females.

 

#18.  is very jaded in their perceptions.  They are too critical.

 

#18.  Physical attraction is way to important to guys.  It one

thing to have it be the initial attraction but long-term

relationships cannot be based solely on looks.

 

#18. normally base their first impression on the females look.

 

#18     ...often holds its importance a little higher then women

do.  There is nothing better then a beautiful body and nice eyes,

but if his personality is completely revolting I will not give

him the time of day.  Whereas men have admitted to sleeping with

complete idiots because they had good breasts, that's just

wonderful.

 

 

---------------------------------------------------------------

 

QUESTION #19.  Money and status is are things that the opposite

sex...

 

#19  cares about, but not to the same extent that women care

about money and status.  A male likes to be financially stable

and be the breadwinner in a relationship.

 They like the feeling of being responsible for the money intake

in their family.

 

#19 Prizes above all else. I think that it gives them a sense of

self worth and pride, to be rich.  #19.  care about a lot.  They

measure each other by how much money they have and by their

status in society.  Women do so as well but men put more emphasis

on it because they are looked upon as the bread winners, women

are more concerned with getting the man with a good social

standing.

 

#19 Have a better opportunity at getting then women do.

 

#19. ...use to make them look better to the opposite sex.

 

#19.    Money and status are things that the opposite sex...have

an advantage over females.

 

#19. ... needs to feel competent.

 

#19 Really seem to care about

 

#19  are expected to desire and achieve to seem successful.

 

#19 sometimes cares about and sometimes doesnt, depending on the

person.

 

#19  ...thinks are so important to us.  If they only knew that

most of us just want a great guy to have fun with.  Money and

status are great if you have them but it's not what we look for.

And if you're with a girl who is only interested

 

in such things, it's not love.

 

#19. would like to achieve in their lifetime. Along with power,

money will buy them respect, and status will win them privilege.

They want to be known as one of the kind, and one of the few for

having these privileges.

 

#19.    feel a lot of pressure to have in today's society.  This

makes them feel more adequate when looking for a partner.

 

#19.  doesnt usually consider when they first meet someone.  That

is something they might consider later in the relationship, if

they even consider it at all.

 

#19.  use to make them personally appear better than other males

or use to attract women.

 

#19     ...values very highly. I think guys are very caught up in

money and status. So are girls, but girls will be into expensive

things like clothes and purses, while guys are looking at the

cars people drive.

 

#19     has been socialized into thinking that they are

reflections of one's dominance, power, and sexuality, as

indoctrinations of a patriarchal, white society.  This does not

differ from female socialization.

 

#19.  care less about then females.

 

#19.  Feels pressure about.  I think that guys feel like they

need to be the bread winners in a family and they often times

feel pressured to be successful and that it can have an impact on

the kind of girl they end up with.

 

#19. not a huge matter, but money and status are a factor in a

persons characteristics.

 

#19     ...does not hold as high as looks, but I guess it is

somewhat important for them to date someone who they are familiar

with and can relate to on an economic level.

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------

 

QUESTION #20.  It hurts me most when the opposite sex...

 

 

#20 doesnt notice the little things.  If a girl gets a hair cut,

or changes something about herself, she hopes that the guy will

notice.  If he doesnt, or doesnt mention it, then the girl gets

upset.  I also get hurt when a guy will look at hot chicks in

magazines when I am sitting right there.

 

#20 says disparaging remarks about women. #21 When I can have a

one on one personal interaction with them and their male ego is

left aside for a moment.

 

#20.  dismisses my opinions because I am a women.  They are

thought of as irrational, and sentimental.  When a man voices the

same opinion he is thoughtful and considerate.

 

#20  Think they have superiority over women, or think they know

better than them.

 

#20. ...basis everything on looks

 

#20.    It hurts me most when the opposite sex...lies and plays

mind games.

 

#20. ... assumes I can't do something just because I'm female.

 

#20 Ignores me or pretends that they dont see me. When they dont

validate my feelings and make me feel worthless or easily

replaced. Chooses friends over me, treats me like an object

instead of a person.

 

#20  bases the value of women in superficial qualities.

 

#20 ignores me when I like them.

 

#20  ...forgets to call.  It's like saying, "Your not important

enough to me to pick up the phone for 3 minutes and call you."

It kills every time.  If you're not going to call, don't say you

will in the first place.

 

#20 assumes we know how they feel. They should try to be more

affectionate and emotionally involved, because women are not

always sure of how they feel and if they still want to be with

them.

 

#20 disregards woman who challenge their ideals, beliefs and

thoughts. They disregard woman who are confident about who they

are. Men feel threatened because they don't know how to approach

a woman like that. They usually tend to want to date someone who

is more passive and will do what they say. Don't men want a

challenge?

 

#20.    knows that I am upset, but act like they don't.

 

#20.   puts you down without even realizing that they did

something wrong, such as walking away or tuning out when you are

trying to talk to them about

 

something important.

 

#20.  cannot stay committed/ fail to realize the importance of

relationships.

 

#20     ...doesn't call back.

 

#20     is everything I want except attractive.  Beauty and

vanity have consumed this country, no matter how hard individuals

try to deny or suppress it, and we are constantly being bombarded

by images of the stereotypical embodiments, for both males and

females, of what beauty and affection should look like or be.

 

#20.  comments about other girls.

 

#20.  Does not know when you are mad at them.  It is like your

feelings are not important to them and they don't care.

 

#20. is not sensitive when I am having a problem and need them to

listen and they say that it's not so bad. Like I'm crying or

worried about nothing.

 

#20     ...doesn't extend to me the respect I deserve as a

person, forget man, woman, dog, fish.  Look at me when I speak,

don't disregard me or assume you know anything about me because I

am a woman.

 

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

QUESTION #21.  I feel best about the opposite sex when...

 

#21  when I am with one of them alone.  When a guy and girl are

alone there is this freedom to be comfortable with each other.

It is easier for you, and him, to open up to each other, and it

is nice to just sit with one another.  When guys are in a group

they tend to be competitive and loud and obnoxious and

insensitive.  But, get them alone, and you are just in a

different element; more peaceful.

 

#21.  they value me as a person.  When they dont stereotype me

because I am a woman and take my thoughts and actions seriously,

I feel best.

 

 

#21  They provide support and truly show love and kindness

towards me.

 Also when they show their understanding of equality of the

sexes, that I am not just some weak female, but a person who is

just as capable as anyone else.

 

 

#21. ...they care about your feelings.

 

 

#21.    I feel best about the opposite sex when... they take an

interest in me.

 

#21. ... is attentive to me and the things that matter to me.

 

 

#21 When they are considerate and kind, show respect and are

gentlemanly.

 

 

#21  they try to incorporate the positive aspects of what are

seen as typical male and female gendered characteristics.

 

 

 

#21 they give me a lot of attention.

 

#21  ...they open up and break down that wall of arrogance and

macho crap.

 There is nothing like listening to a guy pour his heart out.  I

have had guys cry on the phone to me and when guys are that

comfortable with you that they can do that and let you in to

their hearts, that's a true connection and a great

 

friendship.

 

#21 they seem to have their head on straight as far as their

education and goals in life. This shows women that they want to

be taken seriously, want, and know how to take care of their

responsibilities.

 

#21 they know that they have something good, such as a friendship

or intimate relationship, and nurturing it by supporting each

other and being there for each other. They are aware that they

have something special and treat it as if it was special.

 

 

#21.    we are both being honest with each other.

 

#21.  they really show that they have a heart and do something

generous and kind for someone or something.

 

#21.  they are respectful and do not feel the need to "top"

everyone else.

 

 

#21     ...they prove my negative stereotypes wrong.

 

#21     they are not of the norm.  They represent beliefs and

ideas, rather than superficialities not consistent with

intellectualism, sensitivity required by a relationship, or the

depth of mind, body and spirit involved in becoming a valuable

individual in society.

 

 

 

#21.  they are gentlemen and treat me like I am the only girl in

the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

#21.  Are honest and they can be themselves in any situation.

 

 

#21. they recognize the good things about me and complement me on

them.

 

 

#21     ...when I can have really in depth conversation with

them.  When they laugh at my jokes and when I can sense that my

existence in their life actually has an impact on them.